Hello! Have you ever had one of those chapters, where it was written, but you thought it needed some changes, so you started changing it until you virtually had to re-write it, and the more you worked on it, the more frustrated you became? That's what this one was to me. If it wasn't needed, I would have just hit the delete key:) It's still not quite what I was looking for, and it's a little longer than the others, but I just can't work on it anymore:) So, I gave up and just decided to post it - as is:) No guarantees - read at your own risk:) Please forgive any boo-boos!
Thanks again for all the feedback and to those who are still with me:) I never dreamed that I'd still be on this same story quite this long. Bet you didn't either. (LOL).
Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes, and no infringements intended.
UNCLE, UNCLE
CHAPTER 50
DECEPTION
It was strange, how simple words could have so many different meanings to different people. To Bo's doctors and his family, the word 'success' meant something very different than they did to Bo. It wasn't that Bo wasn't grateful to be alive, he was. It was just that if the surgery had been a 'complete success' as it was being toted, Bo Duke would have been able to have slipped right back into the life that he knew. Two months after his successful operation, Bo's life was anything but back to normal, and he was becoming frustrated.
He had his final post-op appointment with his cardiologist that day, and still, he hadn't heard what he wanted. He was glad that he was healing nicely and could be transferred back to the primary care of his local physician except for semi-annual checks. Having been unable to drive himself had forced Luke to have to take him to every appointment. Bo also knew that his cousin didn't mind; Luke had told him so, several times. He minded, though. He had more limitations on things that he couldn't do than there were things that he could. Believing that those restrictions would be lifted during this visit, Bo had not been happy by the end of the appointment. The continued constraints felt like a noose around his neck, and that's how he was sure his family now felt about him.
"Hey cuz, you okay?" Luke asked, laying his hand on the blonde's shoulder as he kept the other hand on the steering wheel.
Not even bothering to reply, Bo's shoulders raised slightly.
Luke knew that the silent response said more than words ever could for the normally talkative blonde. Always having been the most active out of the three cousins, Luke knew just how much Bo had been affected by a virtually dormant schedule. In the midst of the crisis, there hadn't been time to think about long term effects. Happy that Bo was still with them, no one viewed him in quite the same way he saw himself. With each passing day, Bo's mood became a little darker as he was watched time and life pass by without being able to fully participate in it. Luke knew with more time things would continue to improve, but his youngest cousin had never been known for his patience.
"It'll get better," Luke whispered, squeezing the shoulder that was still under his hand.
"No it won't, Luke, and you know it!" Bo snapped, breaking his silence.
"Bo," Luke softly called only to be ignored.
"In case you haven't noticed, I can't do nothing!"
"That won't be forever. Doc just wants you to gradually work up to doing things so you don't over do it."
"That ain't true! That doc said that my working days are all but over."
"That's not exactly what he said," Luke corrected.
"Maybe not, but you know what he meant."
"No, I don't, and you don't neither. S'ides, you ain't never complained about getting out of work before," Luke tried to joke only to be met with an icy flash of blue.
"So what now? I sit and watch ya'll do everything for me? I can't believe they let me feed myself!"
"Cuz..."
"And that ain't the worst part. Worst part is knowing just how much harder ya'll gotta work because I can't."
Weeks of frustration boiled over, and in a moment of forgetfulness, Bo slammed his hand down between the two seats. The incision may have been healing nicely but the area was still tender, and the jolt sent waves of pain rippling through Bo's chest. Moaning, he grabbed at the area, trying to ride out the self induced torture.
Seeing Bo's hand clutching at his upper torso, Luke knew that his cousin had brought on his own suffering. What he couldn't be absolutely sure of was whether Bo was suffering from a surgery related pain or whether he'd gotten himself so upset that he'd brought on another attack. The operation may have worked, but there was no guarantee that Bo would never suffer another heart attack, especially if he didn't follow the doctor's advice. Getting upset was definitely against doctor's orders. Pulling the vehicle off the road, Luke ran to the passenger side door and opened it.
"Bo? Bo!"
"It's…..okay…….Luke," Bo ground out through clenched teeth as the level of pain began to subside.
Laying his hand on Bo's shoulder, Luke waited for his cousin to ride out the spasms. "Just breathe Bo," he told him, his hand moving in a calming, circular motion.
After a few more minutes, Bo's breathing returned to normal allowing Luke to take his own first, full breath in several minutes. "You done now?" he finally asked in an agitated but still low voice.
Barely nodding was Bo's only response.
"Good! Cause now I got a few things to say to you!" Luke growled, anger over his cousin's foolishness mixing with the after-effects of his own fear. Seeing that he had Bo's attention when surprised blue eyes opened wide to look at him, Luke gave him the first lecture he had to deliver since before they'd ever dreamed of becoming uncles.
"I know you're frustrated. Maybe you won't be able to work. I don't know. You don't neither. If I could fix it, I would, but I can't. But hurting yourself like that ain't gonna help! We almost lost ya Bo, and we ain't ready...I...ain't..." Stumbling backwards, Luke was unable to continue. Blinking several times, the brunette straightened up, turned, then walked a few feet away from the SUV leaving a stunned blonde behind.
If the beginning of Luke's outburst had startled the blonde, the ending stupefied him. He had worried about the physical effects his illness had taken on his family, but hadn't taken into consideration the emotional ones. Hearing his cousin's voice, watching him walk away, seeing the slumped shoulders, Bo couldn't believe that he had been so uncaring as to upset his best friend like that. He may have been the patient, but his family had suffered alongside him, Luke most of all. Whatever Bo was feeling, he didn't have the right to take it out on the ones who had been with him every step of the way; his family. Slowly rising from the passenger seat, Bo hurried to where Luke was standing.
"I'm sorry Luke," he offered. "I had no right to do that to ya. I know this has been hard on you, too. All of ya."
Luke sighed, regretting his own actions. He was supposed to be strong and understanding, and while Bo wasn't supposed to get upset, he certainly wasn't supposed to upset him. Slowly turning around, he was surprised to find Bo looking downward to hide eyes that were beginning to swim. "I'm sorry, too, Bo," he whispered. "I didn't have no right neither."
"But you were right. It's just….I feel so……worthless," Bo began to stutter.
Luke's face crumbled as he stepped closer to Bo and wrapped his arms around him. "Ssh, it's okay. Everything is going to be ok," he soothed, having wondered when his cousin would finally breakdown. Hoping that it was a good sign, one that would leave Bo feeling better, Luke let him get it out as he held him tight.
"M Sorry."
"I know, me too. I just don't want to lose you. Guess after 50 years I've kind of gotten used to having you around. I'd probably miss ya, you know?" he asked, ruffling the golden locks that still adorned his cousin's head.
Having to chuckle at the joke but knowing the truth to the words, Bo agreed. "Yeah, I'd miss you too. Just ain't fair."
"Life ain't never been fair, Bo, but like Uncle Jesse always said, we Dukes have always gotten by, and we will this time, too. It'll be ok." Reaching into his back pocket, Luke pulled out a hanky and gave it to Bo. "Blow."
"Thanks Luke," Bo said when he was finished, trying to return the used cloth.
"Ah, you keep that for now," Luke grinned, glad to see his cousin's sense of humor returning when he smiled back. "We'll get through this. You just gotta believe that. Trust me, ok?"
"I've always trusted you, Luke."
"Well then, now's not the time to stop. Deal?" Luke asked, sticking out his hand which Bo accepted. Shaking, Luke decided to ask the question which had been nagging him since he first spoke to Bo in the hospital. "Can I ask you something, cuz?"
"Since when you gotta ask if you can ask?"
Shrugging, Luke pushed on. "At the hospital, first time I saw you after...well, you told me you had a heart attack. How'd you know?"
Bo's memory was fuzzy regarding his first twenty four hours after being hospitalized. Taking a moment, he tried to remember so that he could answer his cousin's question. "They told me when I woke up, before I saw ya." The answer seemed to satisfy Luke, but it had aroused Bo's own curiosity. "Why?"
"I know you don't like hospitals, but you'd tell me, or someone if you thought you were...?"
"Of course I would," Bo replied without hesitation, finally easing Luke's suspicions that his cousin had known something was wrong but had not said anything.
True to Luke's word, Bo's situation did improve, slowly. Though he would never perform the hard labor he was used to again, he was hardly confined to a chair. Still, following the doctor's orders to take it slow in those early months had been hard for the Duke who defined dragging time in seconds rather than minutes, or hours. While those around him could see the improvement, to Bo, it didn't seem like he was making any progress at all. Taking short little walks and setting the table for dinner was hardly comparable to the active life he'd once known, and needing naps after such menial tasks really angered the blonde. Offended as he might have been, he had no choice; his body had veto power and could lull him into an unscheduled rest whether his mind wanted it or not.
If Bo's physical recuperation was moving slowly, his mood really hadn't improved. Yet, he never forgot that day on the side of the road, and he vowed that he wouldn't upset Luke or anyone else like that ever again. He refused to admit that anything was less than perfect, feigning total ignorance as to why anyone would think otherwise. Few did, and Bo had no trouble at all convincing most that they were imagining something that wasn't there. Two people weren't quite that simple. Luke and Ashley were wise to the truth, able to see beyond the smiles and into the depths of the blue eyes that each knew and loved. Both wanted to help, but neither knew how, and found it impossible to help a person who kept insisting that nothing was wrong.
Daytime was hardest because everyone had something to do, except Bo. Ashley had taken a complete leave of absence so while the men worked outside, she and Bo spent the days together. For as hectic as the days could be, the nights were just the opposite. The day's work done, stomachs full, sleepiness creeping in, there was something comfortable and cozy in the Duke household after normal business hours. It mattered not who was doing what, just that they were together. Evenings were was also a time when Bo could fully participate in activities that didn't require much physical endurance, and in those final minutes of each day, the old Bo Duke made a re-appearance. Bo didn't need to act or pretend because in that room every night, he was better.
Ashley saw it. Glancing at her eldest uncle, she knew he saw it, too. Everything was better because for a little while each evening everything seemed normal again, and that's what Bo really needed. He might not be ready to report for active duty just yet, but if they could figure out a way to make him feel needed, that's when they'd get Bo Duke back twenty-four hours a day.
Then one night, Duke asked a question about something the uncles had done when they were just boys themselves. That was all that was needed to gain the attention of both boys who would gather round in anticipation of a good story. Some of the tales they knew by heart, but it didn't matter. They loved each one, just as Ashley had at their age, and still did. Which ever uncle began, they could never finish without the other one correcting some detail or adding some forgotten tidbit, and someone in the audience doubting their credibility in its entirety. As she listened, she was reminded of just how precious those old stories were and of an idea that had come to her before Bo had taken ill.
There was a scrapbook, of sorts, that her uncles had. It had been their Uncle Jesse's, and everything held on the old pages were equally dated. Between the two covers were glimpses of the Duke family of yesteryear. Old and worn, it still brought smiles to those who gazed upon it. Yet it was far from complete. There were old papers and documents stored in tin cans and shoe boxes throughout the house. Ashley had even heard wild fables about more papers buried throughout the County, clues to their whereabouts locked in the memories of relatives no longer with them, their locations lost forever. Her own uncles' past had not been preserved half as neatly as some of her relatives from the nineteenth century, and while her uncles had genuinely tried with hers, it was not as organized as it could be either. To an outsider, those scattered, tattered pieces of paper would mean nothing; blurbs from generations gone-by. To a Duke, they were history; their history. Some people researched their family trees. Ashley didn't have to do that. The information was readily available, it was just scattered about. She wanted to preserve that history before it became forgotten and new generations of Dukes could no longer pass it on.
Originally, the idea was just a way of conserving her own heritage, one that someday her children would know and pass on to their own children. What Ashley hadn't known back then was that her idea would not only immortalize their past, it would play a part in rebuilding and shaping their future. If her idea worked, she and Bo just might be able to help each other. She and Luke had conspired with one another, trying to think of something that would interest Bo without hurting him; they'd been going about it all wrong. Whether it interested him or not, Bo Duke had never been able to refuse his niece anything. She always knew that about him, and loved him all the more for it, but she had never tried to take advantage of it, until that moment. Squelching a pang of guilt, Ashley scolded herself as she reasoned that it was as much for his benefit as hers, at least she hoped it would be.
Ashley drove as fast as she could; she'd already been gone longer than she intended. It shouldn't have taken that long, but folks in small communities were friendly, and caring people sometimes lose track of time. That's exactly what had happened. The good folks of Hazzard wanted to know how her uncle was doing, and while they saw him regularly, Ashley couldn't repay their kind concern by being short or rude. Still, she needed to get back to the farm.
Having confided her revised plan in her eldest uncle the previous evening, he wasn't sure that Bo would necessarily love the idea, but agreed that he'd never be able to refuse her, especially if she handled him just right. Needing props and supplies, she had to make a trip into town, one that only she could make. That left the problem of what to do with Bo and the kids. She could have taken them along, but her uncle surely would have started questioning her purchases, and Ashley didn't want to explain before she was ready. So that meant leaving them behind, and that was a gamble. It could be a big boost in confidence for her uncle, or a fiasco, depending on the kids. The only alternative was to have someone else stay with them, and Luke and Ashley knew that nothing would make Bo Duke madder than knowing they had arranged a babysitter for him as well as the children. Scratching that thought with a smirk, they elected to leave them home alone with Bo in charge with Luke close by, without Bo knowing that he was close-by.
Grabbing her sacks, Ashley rushed up the steps and opened the door. Her brown eyes quickly swept the room. All was quiet. Bo was sitting at the table with an open book on the table and Daisy was on his lap.
"Hi Princess. Back so soon?" Bo asked with a playfully wicked and knowing grin.
"Yeah. Everything go ok?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it? Me and Daisy just been doing some reading, and the boys went fishing." After whispering in Daisy's ear, the young girl nodded her head, threw her arms around Bo's neck, gave him a kiss, then climbed down. "You get everything you wanted?" he asked his niece.
Still surprised that she hadn't walked in to find some type of chaos going on, it took Ashley a minute to understand the question and reply. "Yeah."
"Well, let's see what you got."
Setting her bags on the table, Ashley realized that this was her cue to lure her uncle into her plan, without letting him know that he was being lured. Slowly, she removed the things she had bought without explaining them, hoping that she could still rely on Bo's child-like curiosity.
"What is all this stuff?" Bo asked, showing Ashley that there were certain things she would always be able to count on.
Getting herself a cup of coffee, Ashley took a seat at the table, sorting through the various items. "Well, I was..." she trailed off. "Never mind," she chirped, gathering the items and putting them back in the bags they came out of.
"No wait, what, never mind? What's going on?"
Looking halfway up through hooded eyes, Ashley pretended to become shy around her uncle for the first time in her life.
"Ashley?"
"You'll just laugh at me Uncle Bo."
"No I won't!" Bo protested. "I have never laughed at you, now have I?"
"No."
"So why would you think I'd start now?"
"Well, cause I just got this idea, and I think you'll probably think it's silly."
"No I won't think it's silly," he promised.
Taking a deep breath, Ashley readied herself. "I started thinking about doing this a while back, and the last couple nights, with you and Uncle Luke telling all those great stories, I guess I sort of remembered. You know that old scrapbook you have? The one that you said was your Uncle Jesse's?" When Bo nodded, Ashley continued, "I wanted to put all the old stuff that's scattered all over in a book like that. You know, so it's all together, before it gets lost."
"I don't think that's silly."
"You don't?"
"No."
"Thanks Uncle Bo!" Ashley beamed, knowing that even if he had thought it was ridiculous, he would never tell her so. Turning serious, Ashley began thumbing through the things on the table. "I just think it's really gonna be a lot of work, and what I'd really like to be able to do is not just put things in a book, but to have the stories too, like all the great ones you and Uncle Luke tell."
"Don't see why you can't do any of that."
"I don't think I could remember half of them. And it's not like I can go to the library and look them up. Lot of this stuff only Dukes would know."
"I'm a Duke, so guess you can always ask me, or Uncle Luke. Some things he remembers better than me, cause he's older," Bo laughed, adding a wink for good measure.
"Really? That would be great. I just wonder how much time this is gonna take. Got to go through everything, sort it out, write it...it'll just take forever and I'm not sure I'll ever get it done. But it is something that I want BL, Duke, and Daisy Mae to have."
"I don't know if it will take as long as you think, but if you want some help, I could help ya. You'd have to tell me what you want me to do, but it ain't like I don't have the time."
"You would?" Ashley asked, her eyes lighting up.
"Sure."
"Thanks Uncle Bo," Ashley said again, this time getting up to give him a hug and peck the same way her daughter had done earlier.
It had been such a simple idea: a scrapbook, for no one else's benefit but hers, at first. Never having expected quite the enthusiasm her entire family had shown, everyone made their own contributions, but she and Bo did the majority of the work. They'd set aside time each afternoon when the house was quiet and Daisy was napping. Those private afternoons became etched in Ashley's memory as some of the best she'd ever known. As each week passed, the pages filled, and Ashley wondered if she had really thought that one book would suffice when she began. By the time the adventure came to completion, Ashley had made several additional trips into town. The unabridged version of Duke history had filled several volumes, now arranged by decades and generation. After close to a year, what they had created was better than she had ever hoped for.
With the creation of something new came the reincarnation of something old: Bo. Ashley's plan had worked. Silly or not, Bo had offered to help simply because he thought she needed it, and a silly project had given him something to look forward to. Occupying his mind with thoughts of something other than a flawed body, over those months that same body had grown stronger. Extra and heavier chores had been added and the naps had grown shorter and further in between until one day when they'd become no longer necessary at all. It hadn't happened overnight, but since they hadn't been concentrating on it, the final results were dramatic.
Having accomplished both goals, Ashley should have been pleased. She was, but she hadn't expected to hear a new ambition calling to her. She tried to ignore it until she simply couldn't. Accepting it herself had been hard enough, but she had no idea what her family would think when she told them. A collection of scrapbooks for their own private collection was one thing; what she was considering now was something entirely different.
"You want to do what?" Luke asked her, hardly believing that he'd heard her correctly.
"I want to write a book," Ashley replied, confirming that they hadn't misunderstood.
"Well gee, princess, that's great, as long as it's something you really want to do." Bo added, emphasizing the word 'you'.
"Huh?" Ashley queried, having braced herself for many objections, but never having anticipated that one. She wanted to do this, she'd just told them that.
"I don't need another project. I'm fine now," Bo replied, grinning at her as he spoke.
Confusion gave way to understanding as Ashley slowly absorbed her uncle's words. It was somewhat disheartening to discover that uncle had been on to her plan all along despite her attempts at being coy. Giving him a scowl that mirrored Luke's best, she re-iterated that this was not something for Bo's benefit. It really was something she truly wanted to do.
"I think it's a great idea, mom," BL beamed, as his brother and sister voiced their own support regardless that Daisy Mae was too young to know what she was supporting.
"Well honey, if it's what you want to do, it's fine with me," Matthew told her.
"Thank you," Ashley replied, looking around the room. "You know I'm gonna need all of your help, but not in the way you're thinking, Uncle Bo."
"Then you know we'll do anything we can to help ya," Bo told her with another grin.
"Won't we, Luke?"
"Ah yeah," he agreed, still dumbfounded and not nearly as confident as everyone else seemed to be. Having waited for someone else to say something, when they didn't, being the practical one left the task to him. "But, I was just thinking that maybe for your first book……well, maybe another subject might be better."
"Nope!" Ashley rejected the idea. "It's exactly this book that I want to write, a book about us, especially you two and all the adventures you've had."
"Okay," Luke agreed after his logic had been shot down, accepting the kiss she was planting on his cheek, then watching her do the same to Bo.
"Okay, c'mon kids, we're expected over at Gramma and Grampa Ricketts," she announced, herding them close to the door. "Dinner's in the fridge, all you gotta do is heat it up. We'll be back, hopefully sooner than later," she giggled, as she waved goodbye and followed her husband and children to their vehicle.
"Have a good time," Bo laughed back, knowing how much his niece loved visiting her mother-in-law.
Sitting in silence until they heard the vehicle driving off, Luke finally looked over at his cousin. "Well cuz, what do you think about all this?"
"I think it's real nice that Ashley wants to try her hand at writing," Bo replied in a tone that was nothing but sincere.
Luke slowly nodded, unsure of what to say next. He didn't want to sound negative, but he certainly had his doubts. He expected Bo to have some of his own, and to freely speak his mind, but his younger cousin always had been more of an optimist than he had. They'd encouraged Ashley in whatever she had wanted to do her entire life, but this idea was just something that Luke Duke could not see as being successful.
"Course, ya know I think she's crazy, and I just hope she ain't too disappointed," Bo added before Luke could vocalize his thoughts on the subject.
Unsure as to whether they were thinking the same thing, Luke simply gave his cousin an inquisitive look.
"Well shoot, Luke, let's face it. Ashley Marie may be an excellent mother, wife, niece, and vet, and she might be a great writer, too, but who's ever gonna find out except us?"
"Huh?"
"Ain't nobody but us ever gonna read that book, cause ain't nobody gonna publish it, cause there ain't nobody who would buy or read a book about us," Bo laughed.
The blank expression slowly turned into a grin, then grew to a hearty laugh. Though he may have phrased it a little more tactfully, he and Bo had indeed been thinking the same thing. Wondering how it was that they could see this and Ashley could not, he wasn't given much time to mull over it. Bo was leaning on his shoulder laughing so hard that all he could do was to lean back on his cousin and laugh just as hard.
"Book…….," Bo started.
"Bout……..us!" Luke finished.
