Was I supposed to update this last week? Crap, I forgot. Sorry about that! But anyways, here are some more Rules. See, I told you they weren't done!
Remember to review! And feel free to send me suggestions if you think of any!
The table at the back of Rec. Room 4 was surprisingly quiet. Normally it was filled with lively conversation between the four inhabitants, but today not so much.
"I hate it when nothing happens on this ship," O'Shea muttered.
"Yeah, same here," Billings replied.
Sorren and West mumbled their replies. Seconds later, four PADDs went off, and one buzzed across the table only to be caught by its owner before crashing to the floor.
"Finally! Something good!" West sighed.
1001. We are no longer to hold bazaars and/or open markets in the hangar bay and/or cargo bays. Or invite planetary bazaars and/or open markets to use the hangar bay and or cargo bays. Even if we promise to clean up afterwards.
1002. All weapons except phasers are banned from the Bridge.
1003a. *Do not beam innocent red-shirted ensigns onto a planet to conduct an experiment. Starfleet's beginning to wonder how this ship goes through so many Security officers.
1003b. Same with blue-shirts.
1003c. And gold-shirts.
1003d. Look, no beaming down any ensigns for any experiments!
1004. No more playing old TV themes over the speaker system and on the main view screen. We can't get some of them out of our head.
1005. *When asked for tactical advice on away missions, please note "taking off and nuking the site from orbit" is not an acceptable response.
1006. *This ship does not "make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs".
1007. *Stop playing cricket in the hallways.
1008a. What did we tell you about flash mobs?
1008b. That we couldn't do them when dignitaries are on board, otherwise they're okay.
1008c. Exac… what?
1008d. Go look it up, Rule #489.
1008e. Don't you love loopholes?
1008f. Shut up.
1008g. Please refer to Rule #77a.
1008h. Shut up! No flash mobs! At anytime!
1008i. Killjoy.
1008j. SHUT UP!
1009. Stop decorating the botany labs with garden nomes, plastic famingos, and various other lawn decorations.
1010. You are not allowed to play audio books over the ship's speakers on long trips.
1011. You are no longer allowed to end a communications transmission with "And on that bombshell…".
1012. Next time Mr. Sulu is a bit, well, tipsy, do not give him a New York Yankees cap and tell him that Dr. McCoy's name is actually "Dr. Jones".
1013. *No, Chekov, Vodka does not cure "ewerything and anything".
1014a. Vodka is not the miracle cure-all, despite claims made by Mr. Chekov.
1014b. Same goes for scotch.
1014c. And bourbon.
1015. *White chocolate contains cocoa butter, don't give it to Spock either.
1016. *Never wash red uniforms with blue ones, they all turn purple.
1017. Lt. Charlie Tanner would like for everyone to stop apologizing to him for no apparent reason.
1018. We're sorry you had to leave your dog back on Earth, but Mr. Scott will not build you a robot dog to replace him/her while you're on board.
1019. Would you please stop trying to see if it is possible to send Bafrin coconuts through the mail? They're about ready to declare us "environmental terrorists" because you keep sending them out and they are a known evasive species on several planets including Earth.
1020. Do not end communications with "So call me maybe?".
"Normally, I hate Mondays, but sometimes they're not that bad," Sorren said as he finished reading.
"Agreed," the others said.
Fun Fact: it is possible to send a coconut through the mail. At least in the US. They did it on Mythbusters.
So, #1003a is from I heart Star Trek, TehWolfyBlake came up with #1005-1007, and inspired #1013, #1008a-j were inspired by Eymris Grayson, and 1008h specifically, and remi-it's-a-girl's-name thought up 1015-1016. That is the fewest number of people who sent in Rules to be used in a long time...
