Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. Just the plot and OCs.
Okay, real fast I'm gonna just start with this because apparently a lot of people were confused (even if I honestly can't figure out why).
It's not Arsine. It's Gambit.
Gambit is Megatron's son. Not Arsine. Arsine is Jynx's cousin on her carrier's side(before the whole forced twin thing made them a little bit more), Gambit is not actually related to either of them. Jynx just called them both brother.
Alright, now that that is out of the way, hi guys! I'm not dead! I survived finals (of the ones that I have to do) and the end of the semester projects! Even if I kind of feel like dying now, or maybe sleeping for a week. But I've been horrible to all you wonderful readers and have missed enough updates so here you go. I finished a chapter for you because you are all amazing and I love you.
I hope you like it and don't want to kill me too much.
Chapter 55
Free Falling
She wasn't sure if it was her doing the shaking, or the ship, but at this point she really didn't care. For it was hard to care about much of anything when it felt like the stupid, trusting, idiotic, fool of a ball of life in her chest was currently trying to crack itself in half.
That is, if it hadn't already done it.
To be perfectly honest, she wasn't sure.
Curled up in as tight a ball as she could possible get in the tiny space between the ship's controls and the chair she had her claws dug deep into her own shoulders in an effort to hold herself together. Not to mention her teeth were buried in the softer plating of her wrist.
Tears streaked in pathetic trails down her cheeks. The flow of which not seeming to stop no matter that the ugly sobs shaking her had turned horse and awful with the stress they were putting on her vocal processor.
It was these tears that she hated the most. It should probably be the pain in her chest which she despised more than anything. This overwhelming surge of betrayal that left her sick more than once since she'd slid to the floor between the controls and the chair, but it wasn't what was making her angry.
It hurt, Primus knew that it hurt, but the longer she crouched there shaking while tears rolled down her cheeks the angrier she became.
Jazz.
After all this time . . . it was Jazz.
Optics squeezing shut, she cried.
"Why?" Perched in her ever slimming pile of rags nest the tiny silver sparkling blinked those impossibly blue optics up to the growing frown on that grey faceplate. Arsine's intense red optics framed by his sharp optic ridges held something between frustration and a tiredness that seeped down to his very struts.
That was not something that a two vorn old sparkling could truly understand though. She was still hardly forming words—though much to Arsine's and Gambit's frustration 'why' was indeed her favorite—and had no real concept of the pit that was their life.
The two young mechlings preferred to keep it that way, but there were some things that no matter how hard they tried they couldn't keep the questions away for.
It was natural, after all, that a sparkling would wonder where her creators were. She might not yet know that her life was wrong. That she was hated and would likely be killed some orn soon no matter how hard the mechlings tried to keep it from happening, but that did not mean the absent thing in her chest was something she didn't feel.
Understand it?
No.
No, she didn't understand it. Couldn't possibly, because she had no notion of the bonds that were supposed to be there.
But feel it all the same was something Jynx was fully capable of doing.
Which was why she was sat upright with the help of Arsine's hand in the middle of her rag nest staring up into his smoldering optics asking questions she couldn't fathom the answer too.
"Because, Jynx." Arsine sighed heavily. Sitting down around her and pulling her up into his much too thin chest he leaned back against the wall.
Jynx responded to this answer with silence, for silent was how she was suppose to stay. Not that she understood that either. For a moment she rubbed absently at her chest and the faint blue glow that shown through plating too thin and weak to provide the purpose it was suppose to.
It hurt.
Then again, it always hurt so that in itself was not all that striking of a realization. She just didn't get why.
Why did she hurt?
Why didn't her brothers do anything to fix it?
They tried hard to fix things. She knew that very well.
Why did this they do nothing for?
"Why?" She repeated again, small, squeaky, young voice forming the only word beside their names she had perfected yet.
Arsine's grip around her tightened slightly, but it was more in relation to Gambit shoving himself to his peds across their tiny closet of a world then anything else. Optics watching in a way similar to how they watched Nebulous stalk around when the young grey mechling dared come out of their tiny world.
Gambit did not appreciate the gaze, but he couldn't blame the slightly younger mech for wearing it. He was scowling rather darkly—though he was always scowling these orns—as he marched across their tiny room and plopped himself down next to him.
Jynx was quickly pulled from her pained rubbing on her chest and her questions at the sight of his movement. A happy, quiet bubble of sound left her as she immediately threw her arms up to him. Tiny, thin fingers that no longer held the natural chubbiness of a newborn sparkling because she was slowly starving to death just like they were, making grabby motions for him while a smile crossed her tiny faceplate and those cursed blue optics sparkled happily at the sight of him.
He didn't deserve that look.
Neither of them did.
Not the trust, or the blind faith she put in them. The utter certainty that only a sparkling could build for the notion that they would take care of her. That they would protect her.
That they could.
They couldn't. They couldn't even protect themselves.
However, the truth that Gambit knew far too well huge visibly on his sharp shoulders was put aside despite the fact that he knew better. Instead of facing it he plucked the tiny femmeling from Arsine's hand and brought her to rest against his own chest. Allowing her to leech warmth and what little comfort he could offer while he leaned back against the rusted wall behind him.
Arsine did the same. All but snuggling into his side much like Jynx was, but the eldest of them didn't mind. If anything it helped him feel better as much as it did the them.
"Why?"
The next pip of sound that left her was muffled in his black plating so he opted to ignore it. With any luck she'd get tired soon and go to recharge. Then he and Arsine could figure out which one of them was going to go and try to still some energon for them all tonight.
He should have known Jynx would not be so easily swayed though. In a wiggle of movement that had both his and Arsine's smoldering red optics sliding down to find her moving around. Her limbs were hardly strong enough to lift themselves let alone her, but with shaky broken movements and a determination that filed Gambit with more hope then he knew what to do with the tiny femmeling eventually managed to push herself upright against his chest. Enough to thrown her tiny helm back and blink those damn blue optics up at him.
"Gambit." She peeped his name and he couldn't help but smile, even as she rubbed at her chest in the only way she knew how to express what she was talking about. The only way she knew how to tell them that she was hurting. "Why?"
He had no answer for her. Neither of them did. Not one that she could comprehend.
For how were they suppose to tell a sparkling that she had been abandon? How did they say that her carrier tossed her aside to starve to death, deeming her not even worth the time to kill outright. That her sire was a murdering, lying, spying bastard that left and never looked back?
How did they say that the ache in her chest was from a pair of creation creator bonds that were dying? One that had never had the chance to form to begin with and the other slowly crumbling away every orn that her carrier refused her?
How did they tell her that she wasn't wanted?
He couldn't.
So he didn't.
Instead he pulled her up closer to rest against his neck, the softest and warmest place he could offer and started humming lowly. With any luck it would be enough to put her recharge and put off her painful questions for another orn.
Grip tightening around herself, tears still sliding down, Jynx gave a grim laugh. If only she'd learned as a sparkling to stop asking questions she didn't need to know the answer too. Maybe Gambit and Arsine could have at least spared her the truth.
If they'd been able too, maybe now it wouldn't hurt so much.
There wasn't much to do when one was blind and locked in a cell.
Quite honestly, there was actually nothing to do. Aside from the strips of energon dripping protoform they were flung every other orn or so to keep from starving to death, getting taken out to be laid on Rashact's table and made to scream, and the testing for whatever else the mad mech was doing there was nothing else too this place.
However, at least now they were all the same cage again.
Why that was?
She didn't know. She didn't care.
It was nice to not to have to shiver on the cold metal floor alone. At least with Gambit and Arsine she could be warm.
Her chest was aching. Though that was nothing knew with the fact that Rashact seemed to like to see if he could shatter the thin covering of her developing spark glass. At just into second frame the protoform, turning plating of her chest was not suppose to be able to open. She was still too young for direct access to her spark to be possible. That however was in no way discouraging to the mad bastard that owned them now.
And knives were handy tools for breaking what didn't want to be broken.
However, this pain was not from the still sticky with energon cuts all up and down her front. This was an old kind.
It wasn't so much pain. Not anymore at least. The pain had long ago faded, but the cold remained behind. This empty place inside her that she didn't know why was there. Or why it felt so completely wrong that it was.
"If you don't stop rubbing at them the nanites are gonna split and your gonna be leaking all over the damn floor again." The gruff, rasp of Gambit's voice drew Jynx's attention to the side. Though even when she twisted her helm she had no way to see him she was aware of where the every growing black mech was.
Late into his third frame and with all the stuff Rashact was pumping into him, Gambit was finally reaching the size he was meant to be. Which was to say, totally massive. He took up a good half of the cage by himself.
That was something Jynx did not need optics to know.
She could touch him again now that they were in the same cell after all.
Arsine was not far behind him in his growth. He was being stuck full of stuff just as much as Gambit was. Rashact seemed highly interested in the notion of them being as big as they were meant to be. So while energon he was letting them starve without, enhancements in nanites and such he gave them through the point of a needle.
They were growing weather they liked it or not. For a purpose they did not even know.
Jynx however, was not getting these same things. Not that she was meant to be any kind of large that didn't mean it wasn't pissing off the two mechs that they got stuck full of enhancements while she got a knife to the chest and stuff poked at her burned optics.
Huffing at Gambit's underused voice she burrowed a little deeper into Arsine's side. The big grey mech had an arm wrapped lightly around her back trying not to hurt her anymore then her bruises and cuts already were. She wanted to cling though. To his warmth and his presence now that they were all back in the same place for however short a time Rashact deemed.
"It hurts." Was all she replied with. Still rubbing at her chest until Arsine's claws wrapped around her arms and pulled them away. It tugged at her bruised joints, but other than hissing quietly at him she let him pull her up into his lap. Strong arms wrapping around her while also keeping hold of her arms to keep her from rubbing at the cuts.
Gambit grumbled at it her. "Get use to it."
She huffed, acing very much the scared newly second frame she was hiding in Arsine's chest for as long as the big mech would allow it.
"My spark, not the cuts."
Arsine tensed. "I thought he hadn't cut through yet?"
"He didn't." Jynx shrugged. "I mean that cold place."
"Oh."
That seemed to be the only answer either of them ever wanted to give her. It wasn't that long after they got sold here they told her the hurt inside was a dying bond and when it had finally all gone cold it meant what little connection she'd had to her carrier from Wicker actually caring her was gone.
She got that now, it hadn't been a hard concept to wrap her helm around after her damn grandsire burned her optics out and sold them here, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt.
"It ain't ever gonna go away, Jynx." Arsine sighed after a moment.
"They didn't want you." Gambit growled lowly, and even if she flinched at the words she knew better then to take it to spark. At least that was what she told herself. "The traitorous glitch ditched ya and the bitch sold ya. Get over it."
She burrowed a little harder into Arsine's chest and tried to keep from crying. Because what was the point?
It was true.
No one wanted her.
No one ever had.
Not even her own creators.
Claws digging into her arms Jynx hissed as the words rolled through her helm in that oh so familiar voice.
Traitorous glitch.
Jazz.
Optics squeezing shut in an effort to stop the ever present flow of tears Jynx hissed to herself again.
It was Jazz.
Jazz that sired her.
Jazz that left her.
Jazz that had . . . been kind to her.
That made her trust him!
Before she even knew what she was doing a scream tore through her chest as Jynx bolted up right from the floor with a powerful swipe of claws. Metal squealed under the power of her claws. The padding of the chair flew like bits of snow all around her as in a whirling ball of rage she took out the pain inside on the bridge around her.
Not caring when she dug her claws into the control panels and the ship screamed with it. Not caring when alarms sounded around her. Not caring when she did enough damage between ripping, pulling, and tearing the ship gave a violent lurch in the sky before taking a steady, rapid path to the ground.
Not caring when the quick twist of gravity put her on her face in the middle of the floor. Not caring as the ship plummeted to what was its and probably her death.
She just . . . didn't care.
Wrapping her arms around herself curling into as tight a ball as she could she cried over the squeal of a falling ship, plummeting to its death in the endless miles of sand.
"That hunk of scrap won't make it out of the city let alone across the fraggin' dessert!" Ratchet snarled, grasping for Sideswipe's arm only to miss when the red mech pulled away too fast. "Sideswipe!"
"Nothing you say is going to stop us." The crimson twin muttered over his shoulder. Bending down to haul a create up before heading up the rickety ramp with it, dodging Thundercracker as he did so.
"TC!" The yellow and red medic swung for the towering blue seeker standing there with his arms crossed, unmoving, watching the twins stocked a ship that hadn't been off the ground in over forty vorns. "Tell them this is madness!"
"It's madness." The seeker drawled, catching Sunstreaker's dark glare as the golden brother stalked off the ship to haul up the last crate they were bringing with them. They wouldn't be packing at all if it wasn't for Arcee standing there beside her mate glaring at them. If they had it their way they'd have been gone by now.
She had a four bream head start on them.
It was unacceptable.
But they didn't have it their way, and this was the best they could do. The little femme was true with her thinking that blowing that bay up would make it almost impossible to follow her. However, doubting the twins when they were set on something was a mistake not made twice.
That hadn't been the only ship bay they had, it had just been the best.
There were other things they could take.
Only . . . Thundercracker wasn't all that sure calling this thing a ship was all that correct. It was actually more an accident waiting to happen. He wasn't even sure it could get airborne.
Ratchet was probably right, it might not even get them past the wall, but that wasn't going to stop the twins.
It was the only ship that could be spared. The bots didn't have an over abundance of them. Building ships kind of came second to building homes once they got back to Cybertron, and with fliers in their ranks again Optimus could afford to put building a new fleet on the back burner.
The massive seeker was pretty sure he was regretting it now.
"But it is the only choice." Thundercracker finished. His deep red optics watching as both the twins stalled for a moment, casting their optics back to him as Arcee and Ratchet all but snarled at him.
"What?" Sideswipe questioned.
"I can give you a boost." Shrugging his huge shoulders the flier let his flight engines cycle in a warm up. The sound vibrating the very air around him. "I couldn't catch her, but I can help with this."
And there was the truth of it right there. The reason the seeker was standing down in this hanger to begin with.
He had been too slow. He had failed.
Failed the little thing that looked at his trine brother like he was a mech not a broken shell of one. The one that was kind to him, did more than tolerate him. She encouraged Skywarp, was willing to talk to him like his mind wasn't a bag of robo-cats.
And now she was gone.
Thundercracker had failed to help her.
Just as he had failed to help Skywarp.
His jaw tightened.
"I can't carry you to her, and my going after her would help nothing, but I can give this piece of slag enough boost to let you catch her."
And that was just what he was going to do.
For a moment those dark blue, mirrored optics stared at him in wide disbelief before slowly understanding followed quickly by gratitude filled them. The frontliners offered him one quick hard nod before turning back to their task.
That said all there needed to be said between the mechs.
TC was more than aware of the 'thank you' that had been in that gaze. It didn't need to be said. Just as he didn't need to tell them they weren't the only ones that wanted her back. It was far from the same reason, but Jynx was important to Thundercracker as well.
"Sides, Sunny—"
"Don't Ratchet." Sunstreaker turned from the ramp to look back at the mech that had taken them in. Had given them a life. Was the reason they were alive. "Just don't."
"We have to." Sideswipe finished, hands fisting at his sides with repressed emotion.
"We won't lose her."
"We can't."
"I know that." Ratchet finally sighed. "But . . . ."
But what? His mind whispered bitterly to him.
But what if she doesn't want to be found?
But what happens if you can't?
But what if we lose you two as well?
But what if Jazz can't fix this?
But what if Jazz doesn't have the right to fix this?
But what about Megatron?
But what about Gambit?
But what if none of you ever come back?
Squeezing his optics shut the two tone medic looked away. There were no answers to these questions. At least none to be had at this moment and he knew he could never ask the two of them to stay. Not only could they emotionally not it would physically hurt them as well. It was nothing he could ask of his sons.
Nothing he ever would.
However, that did not stop Arcee from rushing forward suddenly and throwing her arms around the both of them. Neither so much as tired to stop her. Strong arms reaching down and looping around the small femme in a tight, strut crushing hug.
"We'll be back, Carrier." Sideswipe told her softly. "And will bring her with us."
The title made Ratchet's spark warm just as it made Arcee clutched a little harder to the two of them. With a deep breath Ratchet met those vibrant blue optics when they lifted to him. With a slow nod he pulsed a strong feeling to the pair of them.
For there were no other options.
They wouldn't leave her, Jazz had to find her, and they all wanted her back. Before she was gone forever.
On the other side of the hanger doors from where the twins were getting the ship prepped Jazz paced back and forth, chewing on the tip of his thumb claw.
Prowl felt like smacking him.
The silver mech hadn't done that since . . . Primus Prowl couldn't remember the last time. It had to have been all the way back to just after he'd brought him home. When if Jazz couldn't take his emotions out on others he took them out on himself.
Much like a little white femme that they had been far to blind to realize was him down to the letter. That had his code swimming around in her makeup.
However, stopping Jazz at the moment was only going to make things worse. There was a reason they were outside the hanger instead of inside helping the twins get ready. One, because the three of them didn't really need to be close to each other right now—being on the same tiny ship was going to be hard enough—and two because Jazz was doing well to not start screaming at the moment.
They were lucky at this point he was only chewing on his claws. Prowl was going to take what he could get at this point.
Besides, he had another emotional wreck on his hands as it was.
"B-b-b-bb-b-b-bu-u-u-ut," Bluestreak hadn't stuttered this bad in long enough that Prowl had hoped he never would again. Apparently finding out Jynx was both Jazz's femmeling and gone was enough to rock the younger mech all the way back to words not making it out of his mouth again.
Prowl wanted to punch something.
No.
Scratch that.
He needed to punch something.
Somehow he was keeping himself from doing that though. However, he wasn't all that sure how it was he was pulling that off. Questioning it seemed like just asking for trouble though so he was instead focusing on catching Bluestreak's face between his hands and forcing the quivering grey mech to look at him.
"Blue," He murmured softly. "Bluestreak, you need to calm yourself."
"B-b-b-b-b-bu-bu-ut Jy-j-y-y-ynx—"
"Will be okay, Blue." Smokescreen's bright white arm, lined in red appeared in Prowl's peripheral with enough warning that the black and white mech could pull away. Letting his tri-colored brother take the smallest of them by the shoulders and pull him into his side.
Bluestreak's armor was rattling with how bad he was shaking, but Smokey just held all the tighter to him. Bowing his helm just enough to rest the side of his chevron against Blue's. Not the full gesture as it was meant to be, but enough of it that Blue did calm down just a little bit.
At least enough to cast those bright optics of his up to meet Smokescreen's as the paler mech smiled at him.
"You'll see. It'll be alright."
"B-b-b-b-but I wa-a-a-an-an-n-n-a he-e-lp."
"You need to stay here, Blue." Prowl told him as carefully as he could. Half his attention on the smallest Praxian and half on his mate trying to wearing a hole in the floor with his tightly paced circles.
His claw was starting to leak.
Damn it.
"Let them handle this." Smokey added in. His own optics casting up to watch the silver mech that had helped raise him. That had been his family long before the two of them got off their stupid afts and realized they were meant for each other.
Prowl needed to be over there keeping him calm, but Blue needed him too. That was why Smokescreen tightened his arm around Bluestreak and nodded to his brother. Opening up the bond link between them with a poke and a tug before he whispered.
"I'll look after him, Prowl. He'll be alright. Go help Jazz and get her back."
Prowl's cool blue optics locked to Smokey's for a long moment in which the younger offered him that award winning smirk. The elder brother couldn't stop his own little smile at the promise and the warmth in his brother's inner voice before he nodded once.
Stepping forward and reaching out Prowl wrapped his fingers around the back of Bluestreak's neck. Pulling the grey mech forward to press their forehelms together at the bottom of their chevrons. Blue's field spiked at the touch. His rolling emotions clashing against Prowl's in a desperate attempt for comfort. The black and white mech offered up what he could. Pressing a bit harder against the grey mech he had saved and raised. It calmed Bluestreak enough that he could return the hard press after a moment. Smiling as much as he was able.
Pulling away Prowl turned to Smokescreen, but it was the white, red, and blue mech that reached out and caught him by the back of the neck. Pulling them together in a smack of chevrons. A low purr echoing through him. A reassuring and loving sound that Prowl couldn't help but return to his little brother.
"Keep an optic on him." Prowl pressed over their sibling bond. "Bumblebee too."
"Hey, they're my little brothers, remember?" Smokey's inner voice held a smile. "I'll take care of them. Rider and Hammer will help. We'll be fine and waiting for ya when you get her and bring her back."
Prowl nodded to this, pressing one last hard time against his brother before pulling away when Smokescreen's fingers loosed at the back of his neck.
"Oh, and Prowl?"
The black and white lifted an optic ridge as he stepped away.
"Bring Nook back too."
Prowl's doorwings stiffened a bit at that, but he nodded all the same. It would be a lie to say that that thought hadn't crossed him when Bumblebee told him where they tracked her direction toward.
He seriously doubted they could get her back—if they could even do it at all—without Nook this time. That is if Nook didn't kill them the moment he laid optics on them. That or Jynx didn't.
At this point Prowl knew it could all go any direction it damn well pleased.
And he had no plan for this.
No strategy or fallback option. He was arguably the brightest mind on Cybertron but for this . . . this he had no plan for. He didn't even know where to begin.
How did one even begin with this?
He didn't know and neither did Jazz.
All they did know was they had to go. They had to go get her and bring her back. Because they couldn't lose her.
With a stiff nod Prowl turned from his brothers. The one that was by energon and the one that was by choice. Letting Smokescreen pull Bluestreak away down the hall. Leaving him to turn back to Jazz. Watching with a heavy spark as his smaller mate turned in tight circles. Chewing on his already leaking thumb.
Taking a deep breath Prowl walked to him. Catching Jazz before he could make another tight circle. Latching hold of his arm in a strong grip and pulling him in. Crushing the silver mech against him in a tight hold.
For a moment Jazz went tense and struggled, mind so far away in whatever dark place he was taking himself that being touched was the last thing that he wanted. It only took a strong pulse through their bond and a whisper against his audios to stop the fighting though. He went limp in Prowl's hold. Letting the bigger mech pull him in and wrap him up. Hide him away as best he could there in the middle of the hall.
Claws finding holds in Prowl's armor. Letting himself burrow in as best he could. Pressing an audio horn against the center of Prowl's chest so he could hear as well as feel the steady beating of the spark on the other side.
"We're going to find her." Prowl whispered against Jazz's pinned back horns.
"I don't have any right to." Jazz whispered back.
Prowl's grip tightened. "You didn't know."
Pulling away Jazz tilted his helm back to stare up into Prowl's optics. Showing the pools of coolant in the corners of his optics.
"What difference does that make?"
None.
That was the problem. That was why it hurt so much.
Megatron was shaking.
It had been quite a long time since Megatron had been brought low enough for that. For this though, the lanky silver grey from of Soundwave couldn't say he was all that shocked.
No.
This was enough to bring even the mightiest of mechs to their knees.
And it had.
Leaned with his back against Optimus' wall—for Optimus and Elita's suite was a far as they managed to get him—Megatron sat curled in a ball. His long, powerful limbs clung as tight to his frame as his size was able to allow. His face hidden away by being buried in his arms.
He was crying.
And Soundwave didn't know what to do.
Which was why he was glaring at the wall while it was Rodimus crouched down on the floor next to Megatron. The smallest prince wasn't touching him though. He knew better than that.
Megatron had two moods of coping. Silence or fury. There was no in-between. It was one or the other.
Crying . . . well Soundwave could count on one hand how many times he'd seen Megatron cry. Including this time.
They numbered a grand total of four.
He was sure there might be at least two more times than that among the times he hadn't known about. Those times probably included Karma dying and maybe when he first really figured out what Sentinel had planned.
That wasn't the point now though.
The point was he didn't know what to do.
For what was there to do?
Skydancer was long gone. Megatron hadn't so much as spoken of her since the night that she died, the big mech's own version of coping coming into play again.
This—as cruel and as cold as it was—was not about Skydancer.
This was about the sparkling.
Gambit.
Jynx's Gambit.
The mech she spoke even less of then she did Arsine.
Gambit . . . was that sparkling Soundwave thought died that night. Gambit was that sparkling that Megatron gave away in a fit of grief and rage.
The thing he didn't remember doing.
It was Gambit.
The mech Jynx swore was gone. That had left. That was most likely dead.
Optimus' door opened again across the room giving way to the towering blue and red mech. Soundwave look up at him as did Roddy, but Megatron just curled tighter into himself.
Those bright blue optics focused only on his elder brother as Optimus entered. Jaw tight and faceplate unreadable while he came to stand in the middle of his living room. Megatron was hard to miss hunkered down between his couches against the wall with Roddy's bright self there next to him.
Swallowing hard at the sight and the sounds of his brother Optimus turned his gaze to Soundwave.
"They've left." He said tightly.
Soundwave nodded. He figured the four of them would be gone by now. He was still slightly surprised that they hadn't tried to kill each other anymore then the little bit they did, but he was not foolish enough to think anger and blame couldn't be set aside for something far more important.
To the twins, Jazz, and Prowl finding and catching Jynx was far more important than the frontliners and the spy ringing each other's necks over blame. At least that was something the lot of them had going for them at the moment.
Primus knew they didn't have much else.
There really was no need for a verbal reply and Optimus knew his brother's best friend well enough not to expect one. So he turned away without anything else. Walking to his brothers with dim optics.
Kneeling down before them he met Rodimus' gaze. Those same shade as his orbs shining back at him with desperation. Reaching out with one hand he cupped Rodimus' sharp cheek. Watching his youngest brother lean into it. His optics shut as he sighed before looking up at his brother again.
Rodimus had no more clue what to do with Megatron like this then the rest of them did. Optimus in no way expected him to. However, it spoke more than any the three princes knew how to do out loud that he sat there beside him and tried all the same.
"Megatron," Optimus' deep voice rumbled as he finally let Roddy go and turned his attention to his elder brother.
The massive grey mech didn't so much as move. Just a deep breath that sounded more sob than anything else. Optimus' spark ached.
"Megatron," He tried again. Reaching out as he had done with Rodimus. But instead of cupping his cheek he let his fingers spread over his brother's. Where Megatron had them dug into his own armor.
The touch made the big mech flinch ever so slightly, but he neither ran nor fought. He just sat there like he had been. Breaths shaking through him in loud rattles of sound. Then, ever so slowly, one clawed hand loosed and turned. Not much, but just enough to lightly lace the tips of his fingers in with his brother's.
A silent plea.
An aching cry.
Help.
With a twist of movement Optimus was on Megatron's other side. So that the largest and oldest brother was bracketed there between his siblings. One leaned against his shoulder, the other with his fingers lightly held. It was as much a plea for help as Megatron would ever admit too.
None of them knew for sure just how long it was they stayed there like that. Soundwave never left—never moved really—and none of them said anything. They just stayed there in silent vigil of sorts until Megatron whispered.
"I don't remember."
Rodimus shifted just enough to tip his helm back and gaze upward as Megatron lifted his own helm just enough to rest his chin against his arms. More acutely the hand he had Optimus' clutched in that was resting on his other arm, but Optimus didn't say anything about it. Just leaned a little closer like Roddy did letting their fields mix together in the only way either of them knew how to help this.
Swallowing hard, Megatron shut his coolant filed optics against the burning sting in his spark trying not to break down into sobs once more as he whispered out again.
"I don't remember."
That was what hurt worse of all.
Not that he'd done it. Not that he gave away his own sparkling.
It was that he couldn't remember doing it.
He didn't remember the mechling.
The mechling he didn't even name.
And he was gone.
He was gone and there was nothing Megatron could do about it.
Tears spilling over once again the massive prince clutched tightly to Optimus' hand, leaned hard into Rodimus' side, and tried not to sob too loudly.
Because what would these damn tears help now?
A hacking cough was what woke her. The fact that it was hers and just about rattled some of her inner parts loose probably had more to do with it then the actual sound itself, but it was the cough that woke her all the same.
Twisting she found pain in every motion, but quite honestly it was a whole lot better than the pain that had been there before so with a hacking laugh to go along with the coughing she blinked her optics open. Fire was what she found. Licking flames and twisted metal.
Optics narrowing in confusion she rolled onto her front. Kicking off a fallen support beam of some kind she shoved herself to her knees casting her gaze around.
What happened?
Memory rolled through with another wave of rattling cough leaving her doubled over trying to suck in a breath that wasn't filled with smoke. It was a losing battle though. Leaving her with streaming optics and aching vents as she struggled to her peds. Staggering out of the wreckage she cast her optics around at the damaged she'd caused.
The ship was in burning pieces scattered around her. A long scar cut through the red sand out behind where the majority of burning metal came to a stop. It must have slid a good way instead of just landing nose first into the endless sand.
That was probably the only reason she was still alive.
She didn't know if she should be happy about that or not.
Considering her spark chose that moment to give another hard roll of pain because of the cold place inside of it that was torn back open with what had been said she figured not being happy about it was the way to go. It made sense to her.
Coughing, sniffling, and rubbing at her chest Jynx stumbled away from the remains of the stolen ship. Clawed peds sliding and sinking in the sand with her swaying pace, but she couldn't stay here.
She wouldn't stay here.
She couldn't . . . stay . . . .
Nook.
She needed Nook, and Nook was that way.
Silver optics still swimming with blue tears she took a deep breath and trudged forward. She'd put the ship into overdrive the moment she cleared the hanger. Stressing the engines as much as was possible before she started taking things apart and crashed her damn ride.
She'd closed the distance between herself and Nook to little more than a joor of flight. If she pushed it she could make it in maybe two at as fast as her stressed engines were willing to take her.
At this point she cared very little for the prospect of overheating, burning up parts, and irreversibly damaging her systems. She forced herself into alt mode and took off across the sands toward the Mercury Sea.
Toward Caterwaul.
Toward Nook.
It technically wasn't possible to cry in alt mode, but she sure did give it her best shot the whole time.
If Thundercracker hadn't of given them a sling boost out of the city there was a good chance this hunk of scrap would have done just what Ratchet said and never made it past the wall. Sunstreaker couldn't actually believe it was still flying, but he was not about to start questioning little miracles. At least not this one.
Hunched against the wall in the back of the one room ship with only one chair he sat quietly next to his brother, watching. Prowl was flying because Jazz couldn't get his hands to stop shaking.
Sunstreaker refused to let himself feel sorry for the silver mech.
Not now.
Not about this.
But he also couldn't be angry anymore.
It required too much effort. For his spark wasn't in it.
His spark was too busy crying quietly between him and Sideswipe. A broken, ache that was slowly growing cold. It was enough to have them plastered up against each other. Side by side as they gazed out the thin front window of the ship.
Watching Jazz walk in tight circles beside his mate as the ship flew wasn't helping the two of them anymore then it was helping Jazz. However, there was nothing to be done about it.
He couldn't stand still.
Wasn't likely to stand still any time soon either.
If their spark was aching Sunny wasn't sure he wanted to know what Jazz's was doing.
It was fact that Jynx and Jazz weren't linked in the way they should be for what they were, but that didn't mean Jazz's spark hadn't been slowly figuring out what it was missing. It had been, it was what made the last few decacycles make so much more sense for everybot.
Jazz's spark had slowly been realizing as the tentative trust Jynx offered left a slow but steady link forming between them that it knew this spark. That it knew it on a level that it should have never been able to forget, but had never known was there in the first place.
Given as little as a few orns it was possible that Jazz could have figured it all out on his own. None of them had been given a few orns more though.
Their world had come apart under the amusement of one now very dead bastard.
Turning his dark gaze away from Jazz and his pacing Sunstreaker's optics wondered out the window. Watching not the sky out in front of them but the sand racing by underneath.
What was it about this desert and taking things bots held dear?
Why did it always seem they ended up here in these endless sands when their whole world was about to shift on its axis?
Was it some sort of twisted karma?
The most desolated and robbed part of Cybertron getting their race back for the wrongs that had been committed here among these miles of shifting red.
He didn't know.
He probably never would, but the irony of it was not lost on him.
If anything, it was starting to piss him off.
Suddenly the ship jerked a sharp left, sending Jazz crashing to the floor only to slide and smack into Sideswipe and both he and Sunstreaker crashed into the wall as well.
Pushing, shoving, and growling at each other the mechs pulled apart all of them swinging their gazes to Prowl with a shout.
"Prowl what the pit!?" Sunstreaker bit, but the words were hardly off his tongue before the feeling that backed them died like a snuffed out flame at the sight of what Prowl twisted the ship around mid air to circle downward toward.
The twins' split spark hit their toes.
"Jynx," Sides breathed out. Optics blown wide as they flicked rabidly over the smoldering remains of a crashed ship. A ship that rang far too familiar in all their minds.
"Oh Primus," Prowl whispered, and then Jazz bolted from the bridge. Throwing himself through the short cargo bay ignoring Prowl's shout as he tried to get the ship closer. The whine of the ramp falling open against the roar of the wind had both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker racing after him.
Claws digging into the wall around the ramp Jazz held on against the slamming winds while Prowl tired to both slow the ship and circle the wreckage. He already knew what Jazz was going to do. Had known what he'd do the moment he slowed the ship, but that didn't stop him from yelling back at the silver mech when he let go of the wall and pitched himself over the side.
For a nano there was nothing but white noise.
His senses overrun by the wind and the fall so instead of trying to filter through them they shut them all out. Leaving Jazz in almost silence as he twisted into the fall. Frame spread to catch as much drag as he could before he was tucking himself into a ball with his peds thrown out.
It was still going to hurt no matter what, but at least sand offered some kind of a pillow for the fall.
The sickening smack sent pain racing up his legs and everywhere else, but the twist in the air as well as the planned landing did as they were supposed to. It left Jazz in one piece and able to claw his way out of the sand he'd sank into in a mad dash for the wreckage as a cry tore out of his chest.
"JYNX!"
Even as he screamed it he prayed she'd answer but at the same time he prayed she wouldn't.
Because if she answered she was here, but if she answered she was hurt. While at the same time if she didn't answer she might not be here, but she might also be dead.
He heard the hard smack of frames against shifting ground behind him and somewhere inside he registered it as the twins having jumped out after him. He didn't so much as slow a step though. Just ran as best as he could through the sand to the smoldering pile of metal in front of him.
Throwing himself through the first gap in the torn haul he could find he stumbled through the smoke with a sudden cough. Gaze frantically thrown around him even as he heard the twins call out. Heard the sound of them retching back metal to force their way into what little of the actual ship body was still here.
He didn't look back.
Didn't care too.
Just tore through fallen piles of metal and other useless things praying to both find her and to not.
"Jynx!"
Nothing.
Only the sound of metal shifting in sand and pinging in the heat of the dying flames.
But no answer.
Nothing at all.
The twins were pulling and shoving stuff behind him as he made his way to the broken bridge. He was in such a hurry he tripped over a support beam laying almost out of place ending up on his faceplate.
A pain yelped tore through him, but it turned into a growl of frustration before it even fully made it out of his chest. Hands curling into fists he shoved himself back upright, snarling at the floor as if it was the thing to blame for all this and not him.
As if it would help anything.
Pulling one hand up he slammed it back down against the hard floor.
Once, twice, three times while a snarl vibrated his whole frame.
He didn't even try to deny the tears pooling in his optics.
"Jynx," He whispered, the snarl turning into a whine as he slammed his fist into the floor one more time then followed it down. Curling down into himself with a hard press of his forehelm to the busted floor.
A sob tore through his chest.
"I'm sorry." He cried. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Come back, I'm sorry."
Curling tighter he let the sobs vibrate through him. Blinking through the tears as he listened to the twins shift through ruble looking for her. He should be doing it too. He should get up and look for her. He should make himself do something beside lay here and cry.
But he couldn't.
Letting the tears stream down from under his visor he blinked through the coolant to stare at the ground in front of him.
The broken, burning ground that matched his spark. The dark ground speckled with energon.
It suited what the inside of him looked like quite well actually—
Optics suddenly blowing open he shoved himself upright. Then he blinked, and then he blinked again, because he couldn't believe what he was looking at. Only then he could.
Reaching out with a still trembling hand he dipped at the small splattered energon smeared on the ground before him. Claw tip dipping into the shiny liquid he didn't need the invent of a scent to know it was Jynx's.
Shoving himself fully to his peds his gaze followed it forward.
The splattered trail led out of the ship and out into the sands. To what were unmistakably ped prints for a few steps and then the shift into tires.
She was alive.
She was gone.
But she was alive.
"Sideswipe! Sunstreaker!" He called back into the ship. The following crash of something heavy being dropped didn't have him looking back. He didn't even look back as they followed him out of the ship.
"What?" Sides called, jogging up behind him. Vents straining with the stress his processor and spark were putting on his frame. Sunstreaker didn't sound much better. Jazz wasn't doing any better either though so he ignored the sounds in favor of pointing out toward the hills of sand.
"She went that way."
Darkness had long since fallen by the time she stumbled out of alt mode at the edge of Caterwaul. Vents heaving, engine burning, and energon low enough that her internal gage didn't even know what to show.
She hadn't been this low on fuel or stressed her frame quite this bad in quite a long time, but she didn't so much as blink at the warning notifications popping up in her processor. Dismissing all of them, including the ones saying she'd torn open some of the welds from her Inhibitor surgery.
As long as the damn thing was in there she didn't care if she ripped her whole spark chamber open. She had wanted to this village and to this village she had brought herself. Even if she was trailing a steady stream of energon behind her. Even if she was swaying with each step she took further into the town.
Arms lifting to wrap around her middle in an effort to ease the shaking from the cold desert night as well as the stressed systems protesting inside of her, Jynx made her way into Caterwaul.
This late into the dead of night there wasn't so much as a light glowing through the darkness. She walked the sandy streets undisturbed. The howling winds making her stumble even more against their power as they rushed off the Sea, but they also hid the sounds of her tripping steps, her labored breathing, and the sobs that were still echoing out of her.
The last time she'd come here she'd hate the sound of this screaming wind. Now she was grateful for it.
It drowned out the words running on repeat through her helm.
It gave her something to focus on as her peds carried her through the inky blackness toward the end of the village and the doorway she had to reach.
That simple ship building, that simple doorway, it suddenly loomed before her out of the darkness.
Jynx had never been so happy to see a busted up hunk of scrap in all her life.
Steps still tripping she stumbled to the doorway and shoved it open. All but falling through the other side when it gave way. Catching herself on a shelf that had been knocked over by something just inside the door she didn't stop to wonder why the inside of Nook's shop looked like an angry storm went through it.
As her optics adjusted to the dimness, but not total darkness of the inside of the store she let her gaze wonder over the broken goods. The torn apart shelves. The destroyed . . . everything.
Had she been in a better mindset she would have wondered why all this was. It would have filled her with fear and left her hollering for Nook in panic that something had happened to him.
Instead she just stood there. Taking in the destruction around her before slowly sinking down to the floor. The quiet crying she was doing suddenly turning loud once more. Broken sobs rattling through her like claps of thunder while she sank to her aft and wrapped her arms around herself. Bowing her helm forward she let the cries shake her.
Sitting there crying as she couldn't make herself get up. Couldn't make herself go any further.
Her frame just wouldn't do it.
So instead she sat there and balled.
Coolant rushing down her cheeks as cries warbled through her. Echoing around the eerily empty store before bouncing back at her like the whispers of a ghost.
There was the sound of a thud upstairs. The tale-tell slide of an old door. The hurried sound of peds on stairs. Then a startled gasp.
"Jynx?"
Slowly Jynx lifted her bowed helm. Those coolant filled silver optics opened through the darkness to find the distorted sight of green and gold standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Nook.
Her aching spark rolled over in its chamber with another cry. Bottom lip suddenly trembling as she straightened up enough and blink to take in the little bit clearer sight of Nook at the bottom of the stairs staring at her with those beautiful mismatched optics of his wide.
Voice catching in a sore throat she whispered through her sobs. "Nook."
Something in that startled and shocked frame broke at the empty, aching pitch of her voice. His wide doorwings sagging behind his back, his wide optics suddenly dimming and clouding.
"Oh Love," He whispered through the darkness as he hurried to her. "Oh Love, what did they do?"
The dam broke.
Every last shred of control—very little at that point, but there was still some there that Jynx was holding back, enough so that she could run—slipped from the little white femme's grasp. Another aching cry tore through her chest, before she threw herself into Nook's arms sending them both crashing to the floor in a tangle of limbs and tears.
The bigger green and gold mech wrapping her up tightly in his arms, pulling her into his lap, and curling around her as her cries tore through his desolated shop with the sound a spark makes with it breaks.
And that made my heart hurt.
Jazz broke more then he even has begun to understand at this point, Megatron still doesn't have a prayer in the universe, the twins might loose what they need most before they even get to tell her they need her, and Nook is about to be very, very pissed.
Lookin' like were in a bit of mess isn't it?
I can't wait to see what you all have to say about this one. We're almost at 1,500 reviews. And we topped 100,000 views. *dances* I'm not sure what I'll do for that yet or if I'm going to wait for 2,000 reviews, but I'll make up my mind before the next chapter. Thank you all for being patient with me while I got through the end of this very long, very painful last few weeks of an awful semester. There will be more time for writing now that break is here, we'll see what that means for the update schedule.
Thank you all for reading, and I'm looking forward to what else you have to say.
-Jaycee
