CHAPTER 54
Mama Mia
"Oh my god," Chris said, staring at the empty space where his son had been a moment earlier. "I haven't even been a dad a whole day, and I've already managed to lose my kid."
"Shh," Molly warned, nodding in the direction of the nurse. "No time for panic right now. Just do something. Fast."
Wyatt, thinking quick, waved a hand over the spot his nephew had been a moment earlier, watching as an illusion of the ailing babe appeared in Lucky's place. "Okay, can't keep this up all day, so let's find the kid asap."
"Let's get out of here first off," Chris muttered, noticing the red head was now staring at him and the others with a distinctly disapproving look. He smiled sheepishly at her before hurrying the others out of the area.
Once outside, Molly pulled a face before turning to the two young men. "Weird. I keep thinking about Casey for some reason. Almost like I have this strong need to go to her right now."
Wyatt answered her unasked question, "Yeah, that'd be your charge your sensing. Now that he's born, I guess your connection is alive and kicking. Since he's your only charge, my guess is the whitelighter connection is pretty strong."
"He went to his mom?" Chris asked, a small smile of both relief and joy starting to spread.
"One way to find out. . ." Molly answered.
000
Casey winced as she shifted, her abdomen burning as tiny knife-like stabs went through it. She knew she was supposed to stay as still as possible at least for a day or two, but she couldn't. Not when her little boy could be dying. Not when she felt so helpless the temptation to rip her hair out was all but tangible.
The monitors kept beeping the steady rhythm of her heart. For some reason, the steady beat only served to thoroughly piss her off.
Her heart was fine. It was strong and beating and well while her son's was damaged and broken and dying. So the beeping? A painful reminder to her that before her son had even been born she'd failed him. If one of them had to die, to suffer, Casey wished it had been her.
Worse yet? She couldn't even see him. The nurses wouldn't take her to him. Lucky couldn't come to her. She was a mother without a child. A mother who could only lay on her back, glaring at inanimate objects while her baby slowly suffered all alone.
Not alone. Chris was there. His daddy was at least with him.
But every child needs its mother. . .right?
Orb lights appeared. The tiniest set of twinkling orbs the teenager had ever seen before, and they were heading straight for her arms.
Barely having the wits to catch the magical child in her arms, Casey was more than a little astounded as a tiny little baby stared up at her with deep green eyes. He blinked calmly, his little hands curled around each other on his bare chest.
Worried for his health and not sure what else to do, Casey moved her soft blanket to wrap the child as she held him in her arms.
Lucky's eyes closed sleepily, his little head resting against her chest as he drifted peacefully to sleep.
Tears were slowly forming in Casey's eyes as she stared down at the infant. Her son. Chris had been right: Lucas Halliwell was the most beautiful child she'd ever lain eyes on. The little boy was by far the best thing she'd ever done and the miracle and awe of it struck her almost painfully as she held him close to her strongly beating heart.
Chris came skidding to a stop outside her door, his face full of a kind of relief as he spotted the baby. Then, his mouth curled up into one of his famous grins. "Guess this means you're already the favorite parent."
"He missed the sound of my heartbeat," Casey softly realized.
Chris moved into the room, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. His hand went to lightly caress the tiny head of his newborn son. His other hand went to the cheek of the boy's mother. "Look what we did."
"Yeah."
"Are you scared?"
"Terrified."
"But it's also kind of...I don't know..."
"Perfect. He's so perfect, Chris."
The young man met his former lover's eyes and in the moment they remained locked, an understanding and binding promise crossed between them. This child– their child– would always come first and no matter what, they would protect him.
"Oh good, he is here," Molly's voice interrupted the moment. She smiled at the little boy, "and look how good he looks. He's going to be fine. Better than fine really because I mean, what little boy could possibly have more? He's got a huge family that loves him. Great parents. And not to mention a wonderful uncle and a pretty quick study for a whitelighter. That's a whole lot of love."
"Which is another reason he's lucky," Chris remarked, winking at Casey.
"Lucky. So that's where...I like it."
"Thought you would."
Wyatt loomed in the doorway, hands deep in his pockets as he stared at the floor.
Casey's eyes drifted over to him. "Chris, as much as I don't want him to ever leave my arms, you should probably take him back before anyone gets suspicious. Molly should go too."
Chris opened his mouth to protest, not wanting to leave her, but Molly grabbed his arm, "Come on." She gave him an emphatic look until he understood what was really going on.
Chris took his son, practically glowing with pride. He leaned over to kiss Casey's forehead before following his girlfriend out of the room, reluctantly leaving his injured friend to deal with his idiot brother.
"I should go too," Wyatt mumbled.
"No." Casey stared him down. "You stay. You stay and you hear what I have to say."
The Twice Blessed nodded, pursing his lips as he prepared for the worst.
"You would never hurt me like that on purpose. You don't have it in you to be such a coward. If you wanted to sleep with someone else, you'd tell me. Cheating isn't your style. So tell me, Wyatt. What really happened."
Shocked, the young man raised his head to meet her gaze. The look she had wasn't one of hate, but not of understanding or love either. "Valerie was working with Zayel."
"I know."
"She slipped me something. To be honest, after I drank it, I don't really remember much. Just you coming in and. . .I'm sorry. Casey, if I could take it away, make up for it somehow. . ."
"– You can't." She let out a breath, grimacing against her pain. "I'm not blaming you for what happened. It wasn't your fault. I figured that out."
"So. . .?"
Casey's eyes went soft, tears clearly forming that she would never let fall. "It's not fair. I know it's not fair because it isn't your fault. Not really. Still, I see you two. Every time I close my eyes, I see you with her. Every graphic moment of it. It plays on loop. Do you know what that's like?"
"You and Chris. It's like that."
"No. You imagined what I did with Chris. You never witnessed it, Wyatt."
"You chose him, though. I didn't have free will at the time."
The young woman nodded. "I know. I said this wasn't fair, remember? It's just. . .I can't help myself from seeing it. And then what happened after. . .I've never been so scared in all my life. I thought I was going to lose my baby. I thought I was going to die alone in that parking lot all because you had betrayed me."
"– But I didn't betray you. Not on purpose."
"Not on purpose. No. But, it still happened. I can't forget it. I can't let it go. That's why it's not fair. It's not your fault, but at the same time. . .things will never be the same with us, Wyatt. I thought you should know that now rather than later. We are not a couple. I want us to be friends again someday, but right now, looking at you. . .my brain knows none of this is your fault, but my heart? My heart blames you. So, don't chase me. Don't hope for me. Most of all? Don't wait for me, Wyatt, because I'm not sure I can ever convince my heart to trust you again."
The young man shook his head, feeling indignant for the first time about the situation he'd been placed in. "But, you know I would never do something like that in my sane mind. You know that. I love you."
"Knowing and feeling are two different things, Wyatt."
"So that's it? No second chances? No even considering the future?"
"I don't have the energy. My energy goes to Lucky now. Everything in way of my strength and my courage goes for him. I don't have the time or the will to fight for us anymore. I'm a mother as of today. He comes first. He gets my focus."
"You can do both."
Casey met his blue eyes with sadness. "I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I can even be a good mother. Trying to succeed at that is more important to me than succeeding as your girlfriend, though. Do you understand that? My feelings for you almost got him killed. Never again."
"Casey. . ."
"I'll see you back at the manor, Wyatt."
He opened his mouth to argue, to fight for them, but the set nature of her gaze made him back down. She wasn't ready. She was scared and hurt. She wasn't ready. "Okay. But we? We're not over. You'll see that someday."
As Wyatt turned and walked away, Casey looked up at the pale white ceiling, fighting back the urge to cry for the millionth time today. "Not for any man. It's not worth it. Never again."
000
"Oh just look at him," Prue was cooing through the viewing glass of the NICU. The whitelighter couldn't stop smiling at the tiny baby. The next generation of Halliwell had been brought into the world. "He's got Chris' eyes."
"Casey's mouth," Andy pointed out.
Paige grinned, "That's definitely the Halliwell jawline he's got going. I mean, the kid is going to be a total babe magnet when he gets older." She nudged her younger nephew, "Just like his daddy, huh?"
Chris fought not to blush and failed. "Can we not talk about girls yet? I'm busy enough freaking out about getting him through childhood. I don't need to panic about adolescence yet."
Phoebe, who had been busy making faces at the baby, finally turned her attention to her sister's son. "Oh, come on, Chris, it's not like you're going to have to do this all on your own. That's what family is for. And I, for one, can't wait to babysit this tiny little prince." She turned back to the glass. "No, I can't. No, I can't. You're just too cute. Yes, you are. Did you know that?"
"She's gone," Piper announced with a grin. "Happens every time."
Molly giggled. "At least she's consistent."
"That's our Pheebs," Prue teased, "consistent."
Phoebe stuck her tongue out at her big sister.
"Today is a good day," Leo announced, hand on his son's shoulder. "So, how does it feel?"
Chris turned his gaze to his son. "Indescribable."
"That never changes," Leo confessed, a look passing between he and his son.
"Chris?" Wyatt called, rounding the corner. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
The younger brother's eyes went dark and cloudy, his jaw setting.
Molly noticed and moved up behind him, whispering in his ear, "He's still your brother, and he still loves you. Go."
Chris, shooting a half-annoyed half-appreciative look at the girl, finally forced his feet to move toward his sibling. The two slipped around the corner into one of the emptier corridors of the hospital.
Chris planted his feet, his arms going defensively over his chest. "I'm here; I'm listening. Make it fast."
"I was drugged."
The arms slipped from the younger teen's chest, his lips parting slightly from the shock. "Oh my god."
"Yeah," Wyatt ran a hand through his hair. "Valerie was working for Zayel. She drugged me and seduced me so that Case would be alone and unprotected."
The color drained from the younger brother's face. "It was a set up."
"Yeah."
"I hit you."
Wyatt touched his jaw gingerly. "I remember."
"Sorry."
"Are you?"
Chris looked vaguely hurt. "Yeah. Of course I am. I hit my brother, and all you were guilty of was being drugged, raped and then beat up not just by me but by the demon too. Molly told me that part."
"Raped?"
The younger boy shrugged uncomfortably. "Sort of. If you were drugged then. . .what would you call it?"
"Can we not call it that? It's just. . .I'm not looking for sympathy here, Chris. I just want my brother to not hate me."
"I'm sorry I thought the worst of you."
"You weren't thinking anything, Chris. You were freaked out about Lucky and Casey. I knew that. It's why I didn't say anything until now. You had enough on your plate. It's just...I lost Casey, and I can't lose you too."
"Did you tell her?"
"She figured it out on her own."
Chris frowned, "Then it's all the drugs they've got her on. She's not thinking right. She'll understand. She'll forgive you."
"She didn't blame me. She just can't be with me anymore."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"To her it does."
Chris paused, not sure what to say. After a moment, he offered, "You okay? I mean, as okay as you can be?"
"You're the one with a baby in the hospital. Don't worry about me. I just wanted you to know the truth. That's all."
"You're my brother, Wy. The only one I've got. I'm going to worry. So...?"
Wyatt shrugged. "I feel like shit. I've never been one to drink my problems away, but right now? I could use a shot of something. Something strong. Because everything seems like it's just spinning out of control and I have no control and no ability to set it right."
"Your greatest fear," Chris murmured. "Being powerless."
"Yours too," Wyatt countered.
"She'll change her mind in time," Chris repeated. "She loves you."
"You know what? I'm tired of thinking about it. Nothing's going to change right now, so let's drop it. We have more important things to discuss anyway. Like my new nephew. He's really okay, right?"
Chris nodded, unable to fight the spreading smile. "Yeah. He's amazing. The nurse had to check the test results three times before she could believe them. Said it was a miracle, but Lucky is completely healthy, and as soon as he's up a couple more pounds, we can take him home."
"You still freaking out about fatherhood?"
"Yes and no." Chris shoved his hands in his pockets shrugging. "It's different than I thought. I mean, if I think about the big picture, his whole future, mine, Molly's and Casey's too. . .it's too overwhelming. I can't even breathe from the panic that starts choking me at all the things that could go wrong. But, if I concentrate on just right now. . .on the little boy in that room over there. . .I feel calmer than I've ever been before. Like being his dad is the one thing I was meant to do. The one thing I am going to be really good at."
Chris broke out into a full smile, a rare sight on the normally controlled face of the teenager. "I got to feed him. He actually got to be in my arms, and he was looking up at me with these huge, curious eyes of his. His gaze when he could manage to focus was so trusting and peaceful, Wy. The world hasn't touched him yet. Even after the pain he must have been through before, he's still an innocent. I get to protect him, and that's incredible. Scary as hell but incredible. I'm not saying this right, am I?"
"You love him."
"There aren't words for it. Love doesn't even cover it. It sounds too common. It's not enough."
Wyatt smiled softly, "I've never seen you like this before. You're almost giddy."
"I'm being lame, I know. Everybody feels this way about their kids, so I should stop making such a big deal out of it, right? I promise I'll stop being the obnoxious parent once I'm sleep deprived."
"Not everyone feels the way you do, Chris. Lucky is just fortunate to have you and Case as his parents. After all, some teens throw their babies in garbage cans. Parents hit their kids. Call them cruel names. Some people can't feel what you feel right now. They aren't capable of it. So, no, Chris, I don't think you're being dumb for being excited and proud and awe struck. To be honest, Kiddo, I'm proud of you."
Chris ducked his head almost sheepishly. "You are?"
"Yeah. I am." Wyatt suddenly let out a long breath, "Which is why I'm not looking forward to ruining the moment by reminding you that the deal with Zayel is off. Now that Lucky is born, the spell is broken. He's a target, and I have a feeling-- based on what Zayel's moves lately-- he's going to strike while the iron's hot. We need to be prepared."
Chris nodded, the joy immediately wiped clear from his face. "I know. I just hope Zayel realizes if he touches one hair on my kid's head, I will scour the underworld in order to make him suffer for it."
"I've been thinking, actually," Wyatt said, "about a different way of tracking and trapping him. Maybe, just maybe, we could use an assist."
Chris, catching on, grinned, "I think I know just the pair of guys for the job too..."
tbc. . .
