Again, I thank you for your kind attention -bows-
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto
Think I'm back to no Beta, will wait a few more days just in case
Omake is part 1 of DiranaTheRune's contest reward ^^
Gaara POV
He almost sighed audibly in relief upon seeing Kage.
"It's been awhile, Kage" he greeted the cat as he took the letter the feline offered.
"There's trouble brewing with the Akatsuki" the cat replied simply, blunt and to the point. Such was Kage's nature.
He couldn't help his scowl on hearing those words as he read through what Kaa-chan had sent him.
"So Zabuza is lost" he murmured.
Kaa-chan kept him update date with the who's and what's of Yūgure.
In a way, it made him feel like he knew them, though he had only ever personally met her, Kisame-tou-san, and the two false genin Haku and Hidan.
This letter did not have the... active tone most of Kaa-chan's letters did.
This was more pensive.
What worried him most however was the closing tidbit.
Stay safe shinobi instincts are prickling. There's a storm coming. Last time I felt like this was the day I lost my family. The same day Mist gained two nuke-nins.
The fact she didn't call him Tanuki-panda-chan was highly unusual in itself.
The rest of it had his sand swirling in an agitated way.
He could do little about any danger offered to Kaa-chan or the rest of Yūgure.
This made him angry and his sand swirled in a further show of displeasure.
"Response?" Kage questioned.
"That I wish I could do more. As the Kazekage, I can't do much for Yūgure while they are not in Suna" he answered.
He took a moment to calm himself.
"Ask her to keep the rest of us informed as much as possible" he added to the feline, signaling he was finished.
"She has sent similar letters to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai" Kage stated "Though I delivered yours first, as you were the further trip. Konoha is on my way back".
He nodded "Go to them then. I fear this storm she senses may reach us all".
Kage dipped his head before disappearing out the window, vanishing like the shadow for which he was named.
Normal POV
Kisame and I were returning from our round of teaching students when Kage hopped onto my shoulder.
He liked sitting there.
"All four have expressed concern over the loss and the storm you mentioned. They ask to be kept informed of future developments" the cat informed.
"Thank you, Kage" I petted his head and the gray cat poofed away.
"So the forcibly acquired children are informed" Kisame nodded in satisfaction "Good. Juugo's birds are tacking down the last non original Akatsuki pair".
"I've got a bad feeling about this, Kisame" I informed him.
"So you've mentioned, Koneko" he sighed "I do as well. But, we can't back down now".
No.
Backing down meant admitting defeat.
Defeated by Lollipop.
That was unacceptable.
"So we're facing a genjutsu user and a water user" I turned my focus to the Akatsuki pair "Very similar to you and Itachi when you were a team". I made a face "We can't guarantee it'll be just them. There's always the chance of the Lollipop. Or Zetsu could be a troll and go fetch Kami-sama and his angel". Aka Pein and Konan. Though it was unlikely.
"Which begs the question of who's coming with us. I know we wouldn't be much of a match against Kami" Kisame sighed. "None of us are. Though, if we bring the Zombies, they might be able to delay overpowered reinforcements. Otherwise it can be four against two".
"Gotta love being immortal or just a general pain in the ass to kill" I snickered.
Zombie Combo it was then.
"Let's go tell them so they don't go chasing after another bounty and we risk incurring miser-san's wrath by denying him money" Kisame chuckled.
It was well known how much of a bad idea it was to get between Kakuzu and money.
Typically, the offender didn't survive, unless they were Hidan, and that's just because he was a hax immortal zealot.
We were in luck.
The Zombies were at base, and judging by Kakuzu counting money, which he did to relax, they weren't about to go chasing after a bounty any time soon.
"How'd you two like to come with us to go kill off some Akatsuki?" Kisame grinned as we approached the duo.
"There's heathens and money involved~" I offered.
"Shitty Akatsuki? Fucking count me in, I'll sacrifice the damn bastards" Hidan smirked.
Kakuzu's eyes glinted at the mention of money. "I have no objections to going".
"Good. We leave as soon as Juugo or Sasori can get a good location on our duo" the Shark nodded.
Kisame and I left the Zombies to their own devices.
I had a lot of nervous energy.
I couldn't shake the feeling of something bad about to happen.
"Spar with me, Kisame" I finally gave up "I need to do something before I go insane".
"Alright, Koneko, but taijutsu only. We don't know when we're facing off against the bastards, and you should save your chakra for them" he agreed.
Not that he ever had such issues.
Dang Shark and his seemingly infinite chakra.
Some time later
"Bad bad feeling about this" I grumbled as our two duos raced for the location Juugo and Sasori had finally been able to give to us.
"So you've already fucking said" Hidan grouched. Though, from the look of the zealot, he was uneasy too.
We all were.
Kisame had been uncharacteristically quiet, Samehada bristling on his back the only sign of his agitation.
Kakuzu was normally a quiet person until you threw Hidan in the mix. So for him to be as silent as he'd been on this trip showed his displeasure as well.
Four S-class shinobi all bristling with a feeling of discomfort.
This could not be a good sign.
"Akatsuki" the Shark informed after a moment, reaching for Samehada at the first sign of the black and red cloaks. "Take out the tattooed genjutsu user first".
"He has a higher bounty than the other one" Kakuzu stated, basically volunteering himself and Hidan to handle it as his threads started appearing.
"Always about the damn money" Hidan grumbled, grabbing his scythe as we got closer.
I shook my head, trying to shake off my bad feeling as I grabbed some senbon.
I would need a clear head to focus on these two.
Tobi POV
He hummed to himself in a very 'Tobi' way as the fight broke out.
So he had managed to anger Yūgure by taking out the Mist shinobi.
Good.
His plan was working then.
He observed these four.
The leader duo again.
He had to admit they threw themselves into more fights than Pein and Konan bothered with.
Showing they weren't above they work they made their subordinates do he supposed.
How trite.
Then a duo he less familiar with.
Sasori, before the damn puppet defected, had only managed their names and vague information, little more than what was in the Bingo books.
Kakuzu and Hidan. Supposedly very deadly.
And apparently also very hard to kill.
Tobi smirked under his mask as he watched the conflict between Dawn and Dusk.
He didn't care if his Akatsuki fell.
He had his information.
"Time to move up to the belly" he mused.
Had to gut a cat to skin it after all.
His hands went into the symbol for a henge.
Couldn't be revealing 'Tobi' too soon after all.
But that didn't mean 'Madara' couldn't come out to play.
Normal POV
"Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu" I sent my electric cat after Kajika.
Fighting these two Akatsuki was proving to be highly annoying.
Shinga was giving the Zombies a difficult time, which was surprising.
He'd trapped Hidan in at least five genjutsus, poor zealot.
Admittedly impressive on Shinga's part, as Yūgure members tended to develop resistance to genjutsu after training with Itachi enough.
Thank Jashin Kakuzu was so fast, he could usually free Hidan with a smack and strike at Shinga in the same movement.
Kakuzu had only gotten caught in an illusion twice so far as I could tell.
"Jashin damn you, fucking heathen!" Hidan snarled managing to escape yet another illusion on his own before engaging Shinga again in tag-team with Kakuzu.
The miser himself was also successfully pissed off. He had two of his hearts out now, wind and fire, to make an impressive blaze which threatened to catch Shinga if the Akatsuki so much as stopped his fast movements for a second.
Kisame slicing through yet another water clone of Kajika brought my attention back to our own opponent.
While Haku was the only true ice-user, some water-users were able to cool their water jutsu enough to produce ice.
Kajika was one of these.
If he saw one of Kisame's water ninjutsu attacks soon enough he could intercept it with his own, making it a useless chunk of ice.
This resulted in a slippery battle field which was getting on my nerves.
I was silently thanking Jashin for my lightning nature.
If I electrified Kisame's jutsus fast enough, apparently freezing them was near impossible.
Kajika tried and failed, having to dodge them before counter attacking.
I also thanked Jashin for Samehada again, keeping the already annoying ice to a minimum.
Which reminded me, I had never asked Kisame how best to thank the sentient blade.
But first I had to focus on where my electric cat was chasing Kajika.
Come on, you annoying nitwit.
Fall for it...
I smirked when Kajika slipped on ice.
On cue Kisame lunged, his easy handling of Samehada making it look like it weighed very little.
Unable to recover his balance fast enough, Kajika met Samehada in a very brutal fashion.
I released the lightning cat, wincing as the great blade sliced into its prey, devouring chakra as it did so.
There was little for me to do now that Kisame and Samehada had Kajika up close and personal.
This put the Shark at a distinct advantage.
It showed, Kajika going down with a few more lacerating blows from Samehada.
Kisame kept the blade in contact with him until there was an invisible signal from his sword.
Waiting on Samehada to finish its meal.
No one survived a complete chakra drain, so we had one down.
"Zombie are still fighting that genjutsu bastard?" Kisame questioned as he swung Samehada up onto his shoulder.
"He's a surprisingly difficult opponent it seems" I nodded as we turned towards the other fight.
"I suppose we should go help them then" Kisame grinned as we made for the other pair.
Only to be intercepted by Uchiha Madara himself.
Jashin damn it!
The Lollipop was here!
And using a henge it seemed.
Couldn't let the 'Tobi' persona slip so soon apparently.
"What have we here? Someone interfering with my Akatsuki" 'Madara' purred.
Jashin curse your sexy Madara voice Obito!
I refuse to fangirl over you!
Then I realized how fucked we were with him being here.
My gaze flicked over to Kisame who was gritting his sharp teeth, Samehada in hand, but not daring a move as of yet.
Please oh please tell me we weren't about to have to take on Jashin damned Lollipop.
The other fight had frozen completely.
"Your Akatsuki?" Shinga questioned.
The Zombies glanced between the two males, unsure of what to do.
Shinga had been annoying them enough by himself.
Now we had Lollipop in the mix.
Tobi POV
Oh this was just too rich.
Thank you grandfather for being such a fearsome legend.
Everyone tended to freeze when they saw him.
"Yes, my Akatsuki. Though I'm sure Pein will not admit as to such" he answered Shinga's earlier question.
Now to finish what he came here for.
"Shinga, you may go" he informed "I'll be right after you".
Shinga hesitated before fleeing. He was wounded, and his partner was dead. There wasn't much help he could offer.
Not that Tobi needed help.
These four wouldn't be able to so much as touch him with his Kamui and Izanagi.
He laughed darkly before jumping up suddenly, hands forming seals.
"Katon: Bakufū Ranbu" he let the flames whirl from his mouth.
The Shark started to counter with a water jutsu, but there was no way to get get of all of these flames.
Someone was getting burned.
And preferably dying, though due to Kisame and Toki's proximity he doubted it would be one of them.
He was saving the leader duo for last anyways.
Satisfied with this knowledge, he flickered away, just far enough to spy and watch the results.
Normal POV
Kisame's water jutsu was barely enough to keep the flames away from both of us.
The Zombies could handle themselves.
I hoped.
When the flames died down, there was little left aside from scorched earth.
"Motherfucker! That hurts like a bitch!" Hidan was badly burned, most anyone else would not have survived the damage to his body.
"Save your whining whelp" Kakuzu snarled, not in much better condition himself.
One of his mask-beasts withered.
If it wasn't for his extra hearts, the miser would've died.
"And that was the one I got from the Akatsuki too" the miser sulked.
"You two need help" I murmured. That would take forever for me to heal and even longer for them to heal naturally.
"Good thing we're already acquainted with Tsunade-hime" Kisame mused before going towards the Zombies. "Let's hope she's not still sore about the gambling thing". He slung Kakuzu's arm over his shoulder ignoring the miser's glare at being helped.
"No sacrificing me" I told Hidan going to help him as well.
"Hurts too damn much to move. Plus, I wouldn't fucking sacrifice the only other damn Jashinist I know" Hidan smirked, wincing when I helped him to his feet.
"Thank Jashin for these birds" I produced our clay bird before helping the Zealot onto it.
"Fucking seconded. It'd hurt like a bitch to fucking walk to the shitty Leaf from here" Hidan scowled.
Kisame joined us with Kakuzu in a moment.
We'd only gotten Akatsuki down to five, but our Zombies were in need of assistance.
Shinga could wait for another day.
Tobi POV
They knew Tsunade.
Had gambled with the Gondaime at some point.
That was interesting.
How had those two survived such wounds?
No matter, he had even more information now.
The cat wasn't as properly gutted as he would wish, but he wouldn't linger over it.
Head next?
Or perhaps the tail?
He knew they had his cousin plus Itachi's partner, and two jinchuuriki.
Not to mention that traitor Sasori.
Hmmm. Choices, choices.
This would require some more thought.
Though, he'd be certain to inform Pein of this interesting relation between Dusk and Leaf.
Normal POV
I'd sent Kage into Konoha to request an audience with Tsunade.
The Zombies were suffering, my medical abilities not nearly enough to heal either of them.
Kage returned, followed closely by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai.
"Kaa-chan!" Naruto greeted then winced at seeing Hidan and Kakuzu "No wonder you need Baa-chan's help".
"Who managed to do so much damage to the Zombies of all people?" Sasuke questioned.
"I was under the impression they were immortal" Sai drawled.
"Fucking immortal doesn't mean we can't get fucking hurt, you damn stunted shit" Hidan snarled.
"Sai-nii-san, it's not usually a good idea to rile Hidan" Naruto informed before he and Sasuke went to help carry the Zombies, who both sulked further at having to require assistance.
"Tsunade-sama is waiting" Sasuke sighed "We will have to be fast to avoid ANBU detection".
"I will be a distraction" Sai gave his fake smile before drawing a few dogs, and sending them off.
"You're still in need of some serious work, kid" Kisame grinned "But you're a lot better than you were".
"Thank you, Tou-san" Sai's fake smile remained in place. "This ink set Kaa-chan gave works amazingly well".
"I didn't mean your art" the Shark shook his head as we darted into Konoha, Sai occasionally drawing more dogs to provide distractions.
"Ahh, my gambling partner and the loudmouth" Tsunade greeted as we arrived. "You've seen better days".
"No shit" Hidan grumbled.
"You're not getting your money back" Kakuzu gave her a flat stare.
"Wasn't expecting it" Tsunade smirked "I want something else".
Kisame and I blinked, Kakuzu snarled at her.
"What" the miser shot her a death glare.
"A gambling partner" Tsunade smiled deviously. "Meaning someone on my side. Not betting against me".
Either Tsunade's luck would vastly improve or Kakuzu was going to lose a lot of money.
Ouch. Vicious revenge lady.
"...That's all?" the miser questioned with a growl.
"Yes" the Hokage's smirk widened.
Kakuzu snarled to himself, seeming torn between actually being able to move on his own and his precious money. "... Fine" he spat.
"Good! Now, oh gambling partner, let's get you back to a better condition, hm?"
"Why the fuck does he get to go first?" Hidan snapped.
"Cause I like him better" Tsunade answered smoothly, already starting on Kakuzu's wounds.
Omake – Why You Shouldn't Anger Itachi, 3rd Person POV
This day was actually managing to succeed in something thought impossible.
Itachi Uchiha was annoyed and actually starting to get angry.
Why?
Yūgure had been in a state of disorderly chaos the entire day.
And it had only proceeded to get worse.
Itachi wasn't sure who exactly had started this giant verbal spat going on with the members.
But he sure as hell was going to finish it.
He had a new genjutsu he wanted to test. Even he was unsure of what exactly it would do.
So, Yūgure became his test subjects.
The other members tensed at the familiar sensation of him casting an illusion.
"The fuck?" Hidan growled. "Why the hell are you a girl Kakuzu?"
"You're one to talk" Kakuzu snarled back.
"What the fuck?! Jashin fucking damn it Uchiha! Why the shit fucking hell am I a female in this illusion shit?!"
Ah. So that's what it did.
Toki was sulking.
"Koneko?" Kisame questioned.
"Why?" she pouted "I swear, I'm surrounded by sexy men, and now they're all prettier than me as girls too!"
Kisame growled at her blatant observation of the attractiveness of the others.
"Don't worry, 'ssu. I feel the same way 'ssu" Fū was sulking right along with her.
"I mean, you were already sexy Kisame. Do you really have to be pretty as a girl?" Toki gave the Shark a mock glare.
"It's not my fault Itachi-san decided to cast this genjutsu, Koneko" Kisame pointed out "If it makes you feel better, your guy image is flickering since Samehada is eating away at the illusion".
"That doesn't stop you from being pretty 'ssu" Fū pointed out.
"Not helping" Kisame glared at her.
"This is a disturbing genjutsu" Han mused, though he hadn't moved.
"It was an effort to obtain quiet I believe" Sasori offered an explanation.
"Itachi-san, would you mind lifting it? I believe we all get your point" Haku spoke up.
Itachi obliged, not seeing a practical use for this genjutsu.
Though, it certainly had granted him a reprieve from the headache the chaos had been causing.
I love Kakuzu and Tsunade in the same room. One who constantly loses money, the other constantly hording it xD
Also. You people have no idea what you want. -.-; I swear the reviews are either 'Yay! Someone died! There's chaos! This is much more realistic!' Or 'There's chaos and death! D: Please stop killing people!'
You confuse me ._.
Next time – "We should take the chance to relax while we can, Koneko".
"Can we visit the kids then?"
"Fine. They need to checked on with more than a five minute conversation anyways".
Random Question: While obviously this fic is far from done, I've been wondering what to do once it is complete. I've got ideas, sort of. But I'm unsure if they're good ones. So, I'm going to list the things I'm considering. Just give me general opinions of yes, no, that idea should burn in hell etc.
1) Kakuzu centric piece, unsure of with who as of yet. The miser needs love too
2) A decent romance involving Madara. Poor evil sexy Uchiha. Always paired with Hashirama or some mysteriously exceptionally beautiful and boring female.
3) Hidan centric piece placed well after the Fourth War. Involving a female Nara most likely though not Shika, and probably only even distantly related to Shika.
