Chapter 54

I'll Remember

With Takada gone, people were already lining up to be Kira's next spokesperson.

"This is terrible. People are sick." I said.

"I'm going to call Light."

I nodded and Near called.

"L."

"Yes?"

"I know I'm interfering but…in regards to our meeting…the 28th at one pm is alright?"

"Yes."

"Alright, the day after tomorrow then."

Light hung up and Near looked at me.

"Are you alright?"

"To be honest no. But I will be. All I have to do is wait for the meeting." I said quietly.

Near reached up and held onto my sleeve.

"We have everything we need. We'll get him."

I nodded. I told Near there was one thing I had to do before we went to the meeting tomorrow. I went back to the old headquarters. Everything was covered in dust. The chairs were still in the same place, the computers were still there. I knelt down in the same spot where L died in my arms. It was as though it happened yesterday.

"So many things have happened L. I couldn't protect Mello and I'm so sorry. He was like a little brother or a son to me, just like Near. I'm sorry." I whispered.

I stood up and walked to my room. I slowly reached out and turned the handle. The room was exactly the way I left it. I'd thrown the furniture all over the place in a rage. I took a deep breath and picked it all up. I walked into the bathroom and found the lipstick still on the counter. I smiled a bit and remembered the first time I'd worn it. When I walked out I saw L's shadow.

"Somehow I knew you'd be here." I said softly.

He moved away and went to the closet. I followed him curiously and opened the closet doors. All my old cloths were still in there.

"What? You want me to dress the way I used to for the meeting?"

My old jewelry box moved a bit and I picked it up. I sat down on the sofa and put the jewelry box on the coffee table. L's shadow sat down beside me.

"I'm guessing you want me to open this." I whispered.

I took a deep breath and opened the box. Inside was a small envelope. I saw L's handwriting and picked it up. I opened it and took out the letter.

Nyamo,

If you're reading this, then I did die. Yagami Light is Kira. I know that now and I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. I should've listened to a lot of things you told me. I thought I could solve the case, and I tried so hard. The reason I tried so hard was because I wanted you to be safe. I wanted to solve the case and maybe start a family. I wanted to give you everything you deserved and much more. I was too hasty and I didn't think things through, now I've left you behind. I can't even begin to imagine the pain I'm putting you through….

The days and nights I spent with you were the best of my life. You made my life worth living. You gave me strength and courage to fight against Kira. I told you once before I never thought I would have a wife, but I'm so happy I did. And I'm happy that it was you. You're so beautiful Nyamo, inside and out. You're selfless and kind and caring. I was never really any of those things. You helped me see the world differently, helped me see that I was wrong about a lot of things, and I'm grateful.

I love you so much Nyamo. So much that it hurts. I could never have loved you enough. You were my life, my world my everything. I hadn't really lived until I met you. You made me feel safe and loved, when you held me in your arms I was home. Every time you touched me I felt warm and cared for, your voice always soothed my very soul. Holding you in my arms, kissing you, loving you and being with you were the greatest pleasures I'll ever know. Not even heaven will be able to satisfy me unless you're here with me. I know I'll be with you again one day….but it will feel like an eternity without you.

I know you'll solve this case Nyamo, and I know you won't do it alone. Near and Mello will help you. I know they'll love you and I know the team will take care of you in my place. And I will always be with you. I promised you I would never leave you and I intend to keep that promise. I'll always be right beside you even if you can't see me, I promise I'm always there. I'll watch over you when you sleep and I'll visit you in your dreams. If you ever feel alone, I'll be right there with you. Remember all the times we had together, live your life in happiness. Don't mourn for me, I'm not gone. Catch Yagami Light, bring him to justice as I never could.

I love you Nyamo, and I will always be with you.

Always and forever,

L Lawliet

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I put my hand over my mouth. I could feel L's pain and I held the letter to my chest.

"I love you so much L. I'll live my life, I promise. But it'll never be the same without you. Tomorrow Near and I will catch Yagami Light. I'll avenge you and the world will be free of him. I promise you this." I whispered.

I looked at his shadow and smiled.

"I love you. Please be there with me tomorrow. I can't do it without you."

I knew he would be with me. I put the letter back in the envelope and took it with me. I picked out the cloths I would wear and I was going to dye my hair blue once again. I was going to be who I really was. I took the lipstick with me and took one last look around the room. I would never forget everything that had happened here. I smiled and closed my eyes. I could see everyone again, L and I were in the room. We would laugh and make love. I opened my eyes and a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I'll never forget what happened here, L. Especially what happened in this room. Every word passed between us, every kiss we shared…every touch and moan. I'll remember everything."

I closed the door and took one last look around the room. I smiled a bit and nodded.

I came back the next day. My hair had it's blue streaks and I was dressed the way I used to. All my piercings were back where they belonged and my tattoos were visible.

"N-Nyamo?" Lester asked.

"This is who I really am. L would've wanted me to be myself."

Near smiled a bit as he looked at me.

"L would be proud. But we have to go now. I want to be there early."

I nodded and we left. I made Near promise to wear a mask and he agreed. The mask was like L's face and I smiled. He held up L's doll.

"I made this for you. I'll need to borrow it for a while, but I made it for you."

I smiled at him and touched the doll.

"Thank you…"

When we got there we rushed inside. I saw Mogi and smiled.

"Mogi!"

He smiled and I hugged him.

"It's good to see you again old friend." he said.

"You too."

We separated and I pat him on the back.

This is where it will end for you, Yagami Light.