Disclaimer: Still not mine. You know whose it is. Lord, I apologize to: The Muppets, RENT, Avenue Q, South Park, and Madagascar, and anyone else I may have offended in the process (and be with the starvin' Pygmies down there in New Guinea. Amen.) - they're not mine, either, but they make things more interesting. Shoutout to GLee68 :)

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Chapter 50

After their stop at their hotel (and a brief makeout session – hey, they had been around each other ALL DAY and hadn't had a chance to grope!), they walked down the street and into Times Square to the TKTS booth. Since it was mid-afternoon, the lines were practically gone and they were able to walk right up to the booth to choose their show and their seats. Some minor bickering had occurred ("But the clothes are all new for the RENT revival, Blaine, and I want to see the new set," and "Deranged Muppets, Kurt – Avenue Q is like the Muppet Show on 'shrooms, and I want to see it!"), but they finally decided to see Avenue Q, Kurt conceding the fact that if they were to get Mr. Schue to take the New Directions to a show while they were here, he'd be more likely to take them to RENT than Avenue Q. It wasn't appropriate for them to sing some of the songs as a high school Glee club in a competition, but since the club as a whole was mostly of-age by that time, it was no big deal to actually go see it as a group. "Besides," Kurt pointed out. "I don't want to be anywhere near Mr. Schuester during the simulated puppet sex scene."

"THERE'S SIMULATED PUPPET SEX?" Blaine exclaimed, Kurt quickly shushing him with his eyes darting around, praying no one heard Blaine's slightly too loud outburst. "I KNEW Avenue Q was a great idea!"

"Yes dear," Kurt placated him. "Come on, let's go find something to eat and get out of this breeze before my hair deflates."

"Yeah right, Kurt. You complained about my gel all the time, but you and your hairspray are on just as intimate of terms as my gel and I were."

"But Blaine, at least you can run your hands through my hair without having enough grease on your hands to fry a chicken," Kurt retorted.

"Whatever. Come on, babe. Look – there's the Stardust Diner over there. I've heard of that place. Let's go see if the food is any good."

Hand in hand, they walked to the café. Kurt had to practically drag Blaine across the street as they crossed. "Blaine, one thing you need to learn about New York – you pay NO attention to the traffic lights and street signs. You cross when you can get across without getting run over, and traffic lights have absolutely nothing to do with it. If you wait until the light is with you AND it's safe, you may be waiting awhile."

They reached the café and went inside to discover that the servers were also performers who would sing to you while you ate. Kurt ordered some chicken and Blaine decided to try their mac 'n' cheese, and they settled back to listen to the entertainment. A cute waiter a little older than Kurt and Blaine with poofy blond hair noticed the two and serenaded them. The boy raised his eyebrow first at Blaine, who then cuddled up a little closer to Kurt, and then at Kurt, who shook his head slightly, just enough for the singer and no one else to notice. The boy shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "Oh well, worth a try" and moved on to sing to some of the other patrons of the restaurant.

"We could totally get him to have a threesome with us," Blaine teased, whispering into Kurt's ear as the waiter finished up his song and went back to serving his section.

Kurt's eyes had a mischievous gleam. "You think? You should go over there and ask him."

"Well, he IS pretty cute," Blaine said, pretending to seriously debate the option in his head. "But no, I don't think I will."

"And why is that?"

Blaine leaned even closer and dropped his voice so low, both in tone and in volume, that Kurt could barely hear him. He felt Blaine's words more than heard them as they were practically growled into his ear; the vibrations doing much to drive all the blood in his body to his groin. "Because I am the only one who gets to Make. You. SCREAM." He punctuated his statement by capturing Kurt's earlobe between his teeth, gently biting down. Kurt whimpered as Blaine swirled his tongue around the lobe before letting it go and pressing his face into Kurt's neck.

"Fuck," Kurt groaned softly. "Why the hell must you DO this to me when we're out in public and will BE in public for the foreseeable future?" he demanded. "Do you enjoy torturing me? Wait, don't answer that," he changed his mind as he caught Blaine smirking at him.

"Here you go, boys," the waiter from before said as he dropped off their meals. He smiled knowingly at the two as Kurt blushed darker. "If there's anything else I can get you, please let me know. Enjoy!"

"Yep, you do. You are a sadist, Blaine Anderson. You totally get off on torturing me."

"That's not how I got off in the hotel room earlier!"

Kurt gave Blaine a playful smack and they both dug into their meals. The food wasn't stellar, but decent, and they agreed that they would encourage Mr. Schuester to take the Glee club here sometime during their stay, figuring everyone but Rachel would enjoy listening to the wait-staff singing, and even Rachel would probably enjoy comparing herself to them. "We'll just make sure to sit on the opposite end of the table from her," Kurt said, Blaine nodding his head furiously in agreement.

Once they had finished their meal, they made their way to the New World Stages, which ended up being on the same street as the restaurant, so it was really easy to find. They arrived right as the staff was allowing entrance to the theatre, so there was no need to kill any time before heading downstairs. The building housed four different auditoriums, one of which was for RENT, so Kurt decided to get souvenir posters for both shows just in case they were unable to convince the crew to see RENT before they had to return to Lima.

After Kurt had made his purchase at the RENT souvenir stand ("These posters will look perfect in our apartment when we move here, Blaine"), they visited the Avenue Q stand. The moment they stopped, Blaine burst out laughing and started pointing at something he saw along the back wall.

"Kurt, I NEED that!"

"No you don't."

"Kurt, EVERYONE needs a 'The Internet is for Porn' t-shirt!"

"I don't need a 'The Internet is for Porn' t-shirt. And you don't need one either. Where in the world do you think you're going to wear it? You can't wear it to school."

"Well, no. I suppose with my luck, Figgins would actually choose to be a principal for once and send me home for that. Hey, there's an idea!"

"NO, Blaine."

"Well, I could wear it around my house."

"Not while I'm around."

"But KURT, no one will see it."

"I will. And that's one person too many."

"Ugh, fine. You're such a party pooper."

"I prefer to think that I'm the one who actually brings some maturity to this relationship."

"More like anal-retentiveness," Blaine mumbled.

"What was that?"

"NOTHING, DEAR," Blaine said exaggeratedly.

"That's better," Kurt smiled.

Blaine turned back to peruse the merchandise once again and Kurt noticed that the person running the stand had been listening to their entire conversation and was trying not to laugh. Kurt shrugged as if to say, What are ya gonna do? and joined Blaine.

After some discussion, Kurt relented and agreed that if Blaine truly wanted something that said The Internet is for Porn, the Trekkie Monster mousepad would be a much better choice, just as long as Blaine promised that, when they moved to New York and set up their place together, Blaine would put it away whenever Kurt's parents visited.

"Kurt, you know your parents are co – you know what? Never mind. I'm not even going to argue," he decided, and went ahead to purchase his hard-won prize. Kurt asked for his poster and grabbed a souvenir program as well, figuring it would have some funny stuff inside, and he wasn't wrong – it would be a great read.

An usher called to the gathering crowd announcing that seating would begin. The auditorium wasn't huge – it was just 499 seats (one more seat and it would've been considered a Broadway show rather than an off-Broadway show), so nearly every seat was good. Their seats were approximately halfway back on the right side, and Kurt was pleased to find that there didn't appear to anything blocking his view.

In this theatre, drink service was available. A server came around and offered them a "ten dollar bad idea," which turned out to be a good sized Long Island Iced Tea. Blaine looked intrigued by the idea, but Kurt quickly reminded him of a) his age, and b) his track record with alcohol. Blaine argued that he could "totally pass for 21," but Kurt told him, "Booze makes you kiss girls. GIRLS, Blaine. With BOOBS." Blaine, looking sufficiently chastised, decided to wait until intermission to get a soda. Kurt grabbed his hand and smiled.

The curtain went up and the show began. Right out of the gate, the show was hysterical, but Kurt found himself watching Blaine almost as much as he watched the show. He could live on Blaine's smiles and laughter. Blaine assured him all the time that he was happy and had everything he needed in life, but the smiles didn't always go to his eyes. Eyes were very telling, and what they told Kurt was that, Blaine still had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Being on your own while still in high school was TOUGH , and it occasionally took its toll. He laughed and smiled a lot, but not as much as a typical high-schooler should, and Kurt enjoyed watching Blaine giggle furiously at perverted songs and silly puppets.

Kurt and Blaine were already holding hands, but Kurt pulled Blaine even closer to him. As Kurt was sitting to Blaine's right, and they were sitting on the right side of the stage, it was convenient and comfortable for Blaine to snuggle up into Kurt's side and rest his head on Kurt's shoulder to watch the rest of the show. Kurt whispered "I love you" to Blaine, and just as Blaine was about to smile at Kurt and return the sentiment, he was distracted by the promised puppet sex, and Kurt just shook his head.

I am in love with a pervert, he thought.

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"Because you see if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay (but I'm not gay)," Blaine sang as they walked back to their hotel after the show.

Kurt stopped dead in his tracks and just stared at him. "Really, Blaine? Not only are you actually gay, but you are doing just about the gayest thing you could possibly be doing right now by prancing down the street singing show tunes wearing a bowtie and short pants. I mean, REALLY. Could you possibly BE more gay?"

Blaine abandoned his prancing (and yes, he really was prancing), in favor of a slightly more gender-neutral saunter. "I could be Big Gay Al. He's more gay than I am."

"Oh puh-lease. Switch out your polo for a Hawaiian shirt and your bow tie for a scarf and we'll have Big Gay Blaine right here."

"But I don't have a big gay lion. ROAR," he said, getting right up into Kurt's face as he roared.

Kurt pointed off into the distance. "Central Park Zoo, right over there."

"That's not a big gay lion there, Kurt. That's Alex the lion from Madagascar."

"Go ahead, tell me to my face that Alex is not gay."

Blaine paused to think for a moment. "Point taken."

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A/N: Lots of things that happened in my life happened in this chapter (though not the whole Big Gay Blaine incident - that's all out of my sleep-deprived brain.)

I hit 350 reviews! That's awesome! I would LOVE to see 400 by the time this story is over. And speaking of this story being over...GUISE! I have written like about at LEAST 50K words that have yet to be posted AND the epilogue. I only have a little bit left - one little itty bitty teeny weeny plot point - that I'm working on now before I have this WHOLE THING COMPLETE. So that means, I'm going back to a posting schedule. One chapter a week on Mondays 'til it's done. And when it's done, I have a art piece I had a very fandom-famous artist draw as a bit of a future take from the epilogue that I will share with you. So - many treats for you PL readers :)

By the way, the ending blurb was one of my most favorite scenes in this whole story - it's one of those that made me laugh writing it, and it still makes me laugh reading it.