REVIEW


I clench my teeth as I stood up. The pain that radiated through out my body was awfully similar to acid burning anything in it's path. I swallowed hard as I took one step with my right foot. Exhaling though my nose… that way I wouldn't pass out from holding my breath. I felt the irritating sensation of sweat slowly roll down the back of my neck as I concentrated on moving my legs.

"Slow down. We're not trying to prepare you for a marathon." Edward chuckled as he held his arms out in case I fell.

I hate you. I thought which only seemed to make him laugh more. I held onto the wooden railings trying to move to the spot Edward had deemed my goal. What a stupid goal. Just because he has a degree is physical therapy doesn't mean he can go setting goals for me. It seemed so far it might have as well been in bum fuck Egypt. Why was my life so complicated? I just wanted to use my legs. Where in the rule book does it say vampires are impenetrable except for blah, blah, blah.

"I think you'd find that in the Lylax section." Edward said grinning obviously amused with my harsh thoughts.

"Will you stay out of my head. You might not like what you find." I said still through clenched teeth.

"I've already seen your time going swimming with the mutt. " I gasped as I feel to the floor from his statement. I winced as the impact seem to make my body feel like it would turn into dust, barley even noticing Edward running to pick me up.

I thought you were to catch me. He slowly moved me to the nice comfortable couch where at first touch seemed to cool down my sweaty body. I closed my eyes imagining being on La Push were I could hear the waves and feel the sand on my skin. I hated this stupid place. It was as if my mother had found the only house on the planet that could be found directly on an iceberg. Of course Tanya and her family only lived a few miles down the road but it's obvious, the only reason they don't live in this house is because it's insane!

"Aww come on, you know maw worked hard to find this place." Edward said sitting down with a glass of water for me. Yes! It was times like these that I was grateful for Edward being a mind reader. "How do you know this isn't for me?" I gave him a glare taking the glass from his hand with his trumpet smirk. It was all too easy to wash the look of his face by throwing the remains of the cup at him.

…two weeks later…

"Are you crazy? Dad would kill you!" Bella said in hushed tones as we sat at the end of the sectional. It had been a long two weeks but I had finally managed to graduate from Edwards therapy. It still hurt to move my legs but it was definitely a step up from the wheel chair. My parents and I's talk was still very strained but I had come to forgive them. I yearned to be held by my father and have nothing but peaceful thoughts but I had come so far to just give up.

It was Sunday night and the boys were watching their football. The perfect time to seek help. Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Daddy were all too concerned about which team was going to win and which ones of them would be owing money. Momma and Alice were busy making plans for a family vacation and Rosalie was off entertaining Nessie. "Bella, I need to see him. Last time he saw me I had shattered my hip and had mascara running down my face." She seemed to contemplate my request. To be honest I was surprise she was even doing that. Bella had yet to be in trouble with mom and dad. After hearing all the stories of Cullen household punishments, she wisely stood off to the side.

But now she was willing to think about my escape. She was willing to help put it in motion. "Bella …please." She looked over at the crowd and sighed before looking back at me.

"Okay you leave tonight, when we all go on the hunt."

…Forks…

I nervously twiddle with my thumbs as we landed. Wincing ever so slightly. The trip had been long and bumpy and I was sure that my father be right outside the gate. The escape was well planned out. So planned out that Bella literally might as well have just came with me.

It was hard to pull myself out of bed with it being freezing. My joints hurt from my injuries and the cold. As my ride pulled up to the house I gave a silent prayer hoping my lucky stars would follow me through out the night.

I was in so much pain by the time I got to the plane but was more worried about the fact that I might puke from being so nervous. It was a long journey and I was really suffering from the time zone change. I had moved back and fourth too much in the last five years.

I didn't know how much time I had so I put sleep on the back burner. It wouldn't be long before they found out that someone on the inside had to help get me out of the house and also Edward would notice soon that there was a significant amount of funds taken out of his account…

As I caught a cab to the reservation I looked out the window reminiscing. I had so many fond memories of the place and just twenty minutes up the road, on the other side of the boundary line, I had even more fond memories. I was stuck. I had finally got my family to accept each other and now it just seems I had to find a way for them to accept me.

"Stop the car." The driver looked at me bewildered that I would ask in the middle of nowhere to be let out. I paid him an extra fifty to forget my face and as I got out with only my purse and a light duffle bag. I looked out at the frost covered forest that welcomed me home. Walking as swiftly and quietly as possible to a part in the forest in which was forbidden for us to enter. It was too risky for us to be seen by a human way out here and the river the split the earth in half, it's current was too strong for me to over come. It's were the imaginary lines meet. Where any coven or pack could be passing through.

It was the one place that could truly signify my life.

I had come across many paths but none more troubling then defining who I was. I use to think of myself as a bridge but now I'm indecisive. I grabbed my crest that hung around my neck. No matter what family I came across or who welcomed me most, I would always and forever be a Cullen. They were my family, my coven, people I made a silent commitment to and pledge my loyalty to. Then there was the pack who if anything I had courted my way into. I was apart of them. They were loving and human…in a sense. We understood each other by our gifts and troubles. We were a pack.

I looked at the river that had a thin layer of ice over it and kneeled down. Looking into the water the flew freely into the ocean. Wanting nothing more then to "accidentally" fall into it. I inhaled and exhaled feeling the forest breath into me. For the first time in months I gave a smile. I dug into the snow and clawed the earth feeling as if I had tiny shock waves running through my veins. I could feel all the connections of three and felt part of the eco system. I felt alive. You never learn to appreciate your powers until you literally are cut off from them. Edward learned that very quick after meeting Bella.

It wasn't often that we moved away from the forest but sometimes we would run out of options. It was a cruel fate my parents avoided for my sake. Being in Alaska where there were no plants alive really made me feel powerless, so human. I had told my parents this one night when I was eleven. It was an awful feeling to be surround by those who were always stronger then you and your only upper hand was your power to plants, take that away and your just a prey inside the house. Of course they abolished any talk like that, stating I had nothing to worry about and no one would even think about harming me and while that was true, it still hung over my head. I had no use of my healing abilities as they didn't help me and my visions only occurred at night, when I slept. Plus it's not like I could go out and just talk to a polar bear, anything caught out in cold night was on the means of survival. Never the less, they understood, they understood that while the rest of them didn't have powers like Jasper, Alice, Edward and I, they at least had the strength and speed to protect them, while as I was barely growing into my super speed. They knew my connection to my powers is what made me feel apart of our coven, my family of vampires.

…Carlisle POV…

"What do you mean you just helped." I asked leaning against my desk, giving Bella a skeptical glare. I had discovered three hours ago that Nickie had left without so much as a goodbye. To be honest with myself I wasn't all that much surprised. I had known from the time Nicole started pushing walking that it wouldn't be long before she went to reunite herself with Jacob.

None the less, I still did not appreciate her form of tactic. So leaning against my desk in the study with my arms crossed I integrated Nickie's partner in crime. Bella had been doing a wonderful job in her transition. Her resilience was marvelous. She was also doing a great job at transition from a teenager to a mother. As a parent I held much respect for her as an equal in the subject but as a father I was very disappointed in my daughter.

Bella squirmed and fidgeted with her hands refusing to make eye contact. It was the first time she had landed herself in a hot seat. "Look dad…Nickie has missed Jacob terribly and so has he! Edward has been watching her dreams and they always consist of him. She's hurting…" I closed my eyes not wanting to hear the harsh truth, I knew my daughter missed her lover and I missed having Jacob around too. In all he was a great suitor for her, it's just…I clenched my teeth feeling the intruder. Edward so help me if you keep reading my mind I will easily give you a distraction. I heard Edward grunt and move to turn on his stereo. He had been a bit rebellious upon hearing Bella was called to my study.

"Bella, I appreciate that you have made me aware of these concerns and while I find it heart warming that you were worried for your sister I can't help but find you went about it the wrong way." Bella looked crest fallen at hearing my words, "And while I don't condone sneaking behind my back, I am glad Nickie felt she had someone to vent to." Bella looked up to me with a questionable look. "It is unfortunate Nicole feels as if she cannot speak with anyone in the house about her problems, however, the fact still remains the Nicole is still recovering and you deployed her into the states without so much of a thought about her safety." Bella's eyebrows went down in objections. She cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter.

"Dad you are confusing me with a friend of Nickie's. Was it not you who just said I was acting as a good sister." Now it was my turn to become confused.

"Nickie is to call me once she lands from the airport phones and then again when she arrives at Sam's house from his phone and if she doesn't she will notice that I am no longer funding her trip and I will send reinforcement out to retrieve her." I smiled at my daughter and found myself no longer angry with her. She was quite brilliant at times. I looked down at the floor careful contemplating my next move.

"Esme darling?" Within seconds my beautiful wife open my study door.

Nickie's POV

I walked up to the old house that had become my second home and for most of the time a jail cell, as I always found myself in trouble. I smiled. It felt as if I had grown and left for years oppose to the seven months I was actually gone. I walked in without an invitation into the house. Noticing no one was home. I felt completely at home and felt my heart warm at noticing how my bedroom still stayed the same, as if I never left. I laid down gently avoiding putting to much pressure on my right side.

I smelled the pillows catching the sent of my imprint. Smiling knowing that Jacob in his darkest hours would walk up to my room to feel as if he was with me. I did the same too as I had kept one of Jacobs plaid button up shirts. I grabbed the house phone dialing Bella's number while standing up looking out the back window.

"Bella…Yes, I'm at Sam's…wait what?….Bella I can't understand you…What do you mean we're moving…How-" I turned around pulling the phone away from my ear as I heard someone's feet hit the top of the stairs in my room. I looked teary eyed as I saw Jacob stand before me. He looked exhausted and unkept. He looked at me with such passion and shock that allI could do was show my own feelings which basically mirrored his. I could faintly hear Bella saying hello in the background but when Jacob let out his first breath all I could smell was his scent intoxicating the air. It sent me into a frenzy. I wanted more. I vamped over to him only to have him meet me half way. He put his hands on both sides of my face asking if I was okay. I grabbed onto each wrist, feeling the warmth.

Tears descended and I nodded my head to his question. He then kissed me and we long forgot about Bella on the other side of the phone that laid on the floor. The electric feeling I felt while in the forest was nothing compared to the feeling that I had pulsing through my body. I missed my protector. The pain subsided a substantial amount and all I felt were Jacobs kisses the landed where my tears were falling. I looked up at him with so much love it hurt to contain it.

Seven months I missed out on. Seven months I dreamt of him and woke up without him. He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. Inhaling and feeling at peace. The shirt I had, lost his scent months ago and wasn't nearly as strong as the real deal. He pushed me gently over to the bed and sat down still looking into my eyes. I grabbed his hands not wanting to be deprived of his touch.

"How? When? What is he saying." He asked desperately and I smiled as I touched the side of his head. Wishing that I had Renesemee's powers to show him what I was thinking.

"I don't have that much time as I expect my father's arrival will be soon. I just had to see you." He eyebrows went down in confusion. but then I saw look that had came across my brothers face many times in regard to their spouses.

"Then we'll fight him. The pack-" I put my finger over his lips silencing the notion.

"The pack will say their goodbyes. I did not come here to fight. I came here to tell you that…"I pulled his head to my lips and whispered in his ear, "I love you too." Jacob look at me with understanding and then he pulled me into another kiss.

If it weren't for Sam and the rest of the pack that could be heard running up the stairs, Jacob and I would have totally continued our conversation without clothing. Sam of course being the first one to bring me into a bone breaking hug. "Easy there! I just got out of a wheel chair no need to put me back into one." Obviously that was the wrong type of joke and the rest of them hugged me as if I would shatter at their touch.

As I told them my stay was only temporary and more likely to be only a few hours they seemed infuriated by the thought of me being forced to leave. It made me question my actions however as this scenario is exactly what I wanted six months ago. I wanted the pack to fight for me to say. For my father to be embarrassed and ashamed of his actions. But when I recovered it seemed as if a cloud was lifted. My dad wasn't a monster. He doesn't take action without cause. The only thing my father was truly guilty of was keeping me in the dark.

"No. The Cullens are not our enemies. You definitely don't want to make them yours! When will you learn that Jacob. Learn to use your head before that tempers lead to actions that can't be undone." Sam scolded. I could see the fight lose in Jacob's eyes as he held Sam at a very high place in his life.

His temper of course overpowered that at times…"She has been hurt in more ways then one. When will her pain and suffering end, Sam? When everyone decides their needs have been met? These last two years have been over bearing and who has been at the center of the emotion and physical pull! Not me, not you, not Collin or Paul or even Claire. It has always been Nickie." I could feel my heart swell as Jacob sent himself on a mission to make sure I was happy. My love had it all wrong though.

I shook my head felling exhausted from fights breaking out everywhere I go. "No." I said finalizing standing, making all eyes turn to me, "There is something influencing my father's action and I need to find out what. Even if that means leaving." Jacob turned to me hurt that I was chasing the man that forbidden our love.

"You would chose them over the pack? Your-" Jared began.

"My coven. Yes I would chose my coven as I have always chosen my family." Shocked facial expression crossed everybody's faces and for a minute it stopped my heart to chose a side. I had been so adamant that I wanted both families. But our worlds could never merge as one.

Just coexist.

"And you Jacob Black will do well to remember that. My father protects us. The Cullen coven is known as a coven no one wishes to go against. As we are strong in many different ways. We feast on animal blood and while it does not satisfy the burn it does not put us in a frenzy, our powers make it almost impossible to be taken by surprise and win, and with recent events I think that my brothers and sister's powers would do me great use and keep me well protected should Black think of returning." I saw the boys flinch at the thought of the man coming back to finish what he started. It was a hard topic, a topic I didn't even speak with my family, "My father doesn't treat it as a coven however, should we disregard his orders as we sometimes do, I mean we are only teens that can sometimes get a bit rebellious, he only grounds or enforces stricter punishment. However if it were any other coven leader we could be subjected to loss of limbs and sometimes death. We are a family and have been so for many decades and will continue too. So yes Jared I chose my family just as you would."

Everyone stood in shock, everyone except Emily who continued to rub soothing circles on my arms. I let out a breath as I had been wanting to get it off my chest for sometime. I loved my family, anyone who thought less was blind.

"You're apart of this pack. this family-"

"I am apart of this pack because I have been imprinted on." I interrupted Pau but after I finished I felt Sam's hard stare land on me and when I turned in his direction I saw him stand at his full height looking down at me. "Nickie Cullen, how could you believe such words. You are apart of this pack, this family because you are one of us." I went to open my mouth but Sam held up his hand in a silencing manner. "It is not in your nature to be simple," That cracked a few laughs from everybody, "You have always followed that path that led to more complicated issues and do you honestly feel you can not balance two families?" I let Sam lecture and deep down I felt his words true. I had felt a bond with the packs long ago but it was nothing compared to them now. I felt scared and nervous at the idea of have two families. How would I spend enough time with both? Who would I live with. How did I show one that I loved them just as much as the other? How did I make sure the other one didn't feel replace? How-

I felt Sam's hand cup my face forcing me to look up,"Whatever it is your are thinking, it isn't something you haven't done before."

…Two Hours Later…

After our heart to heart conversation Leah found it appropriate to crack out a few beers and ask how the frost bite was treating me up in Alaska. While everyone skirted around the topic of my injuries. It wasn't long of course before papa wolf over here stared to lecture me on running away and that I was to call Carlisle and let him know I was okay. I don't know what shocked me more, the fact that after I rolled my eyes at him he through a wet sponge at me nailing me in the face or when my father had picked ups his phone he had said he was waiting outside for me.

I eased myself into my fathers rental car avoiding eye contact. I watched the rain fall as my father pulled away from the house. He had said he only wanted to talk and as he shook Sam's hand giving a brief pat on the back before leaving I felt almost at ease. That was before he got in the car with me, driving away to the diner down in Forks.

I never understood the phrase 'the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife' until now. I had never imagine in a hundred years that I would be using it to describe my fathers and I's relationship. I bit back a grimace as the pain seemed to come back. I guess I should count my lucky stars that I was Lylax because if I was human, this injury would have ended would me in a wheel chair forever, not a few surgeries and seven months later I be good enough to wrestle with my older brothers.

We sat down and my father ordered me a bowl of pasta and a mountain dew. I smiled inwardly knowing he ordered me the mountain dew trying to put us in good terms, being fully aware that my mother was against me digesting the abnormally high sugar level soda.

We sat in silence for a few moments before my father grabbed my hands the were fidgeting with each other, rubbing his thumbs over them in a soothing manner. I began to cry missing his touch. He then got up, not letting go and walked around, kneeling down next the my chair and then finally embracing me. I muffled my cries into his shoulder and listened to him whisper soothing words into my ear.

The waitress awkwardly brought over my meal and left in a hurry not knowing what to do with the scene.

Once I had settled enough my father move back to his seat not taking his eyes off me. I hastily wiped my eyes and look around embarrassed about the display I put on. I looked at my dad and saw concerns pouring out. This is how I remember my dad. Caring, compassionate and better then anyone I could ever meet.

"Nickie…I just want to start by saying I am incredibly sorry for the amount of pain I've put you through." He shook his head giving me a look that broke my heart. My daddy was in so much pain for hurting me and he would not forgive himself.

"Why dad? This isn't like you?" Was I could manage.

He took unnecessary breaths and I could see the pleading in his eyes, "The Volturi has threaten your relationship with Jacob." I looked up not with urgency feeling as if they could attack any moment now.

My dad put his hand out in a stoping manner and the waved it down signaling for me to be calm. "They do not know what to think, as you and Jacob could now produce threats unknown to vampires. Renesemee was something that was hard for them to understand and come to terms with but you Nicke, a Lylax, mating with a shapeshifter, kins to the children of the moon is something that is supernatural even in our world." I let the words sink in, feeling my voice caught in my throat. Jacob and I hadn't even gone on our first date and the vampire world was already worried about us procreating. I didn't even know if I could have children but as I aged more I became more intwined with my vampire instincts and I had a feeling that my ability to produce children will be one I will be lacking on my human side.

"So I became scared. I have feared since the day I became attached to you, of the day the Volturi finds out about your existence. And now that they know… they are using Jacob to turn us all against each other. To where once who ever wins will lose you… forever." And like that it all made sense.

"Their first thought was in the fight one of us would kill you and as you can see that almost happened. I-I lost control and almost killed my youngest daughter…" My fathers voice broke and I looked up to see him shaking. I could see his eyes producing venom tears and I felt my eyes brim blurring my vision with my own tears. I shook my head not wanting him to continue. Grabbing my coat and running out of the dinner. I didn't want to hear it. I did't want to imagine it. I ran into the woods feeling my speed catch up pushing me further and faster in to the heart of the woods.

I stopped trying to catch my breath feeling an unsettling nerve creep up my back. I began to feel hot and itch, I took off my coat letting my pores taking in the rain. I took deep breaths with my eyes closes and rubbed the rain onto my chest and face. Trying to reign myself in from my brief panic attack.

It made sense, all of it. My father knew of the volturi's ways and knew they would play another wild card on us again and again until they got what they wanted. I had put my family on their hit list.

Carlisle wasn't attacking Jacob because he simply was mad about his daughter innocence being taken, it was because Jacob had enacted war. That's why Sam didn't fight for me to stay or have me rescued he knew… My whole family did. By hiding the imprint it kept the threat non-existent and a secret from the Volturi. They knew I would never be able to choose between the two and I would try and make these two families one. In the process of that it would issue a threat making the families resent each other, resulting in the destruction of one another or me…

Aro had planned this all along believing that if I didn't chose between him and my loved ones that I would die trying. I frowned setting a glare. I felt the presence of my father and I turned around and just like that my anger went away. My father was still guilt ridden and no amount of torture I put him through would release it.

"Why didn't you say anything daddy? Why put me through all this?" I whispered.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would try and fix it, I figured the pain I caused you would be just enough to keep you from the pain they could cause you. I hurt Jacob and I have lost you. I know now that it was wrong but I will never regret doing what it takes to keep you alive." I looked at my father and nodded my head. I ran over to him hugging him again and as I felt him relax I knew everything had been solved.

As we walked back to the car, hand in hand, dripping wet I thought about how complicated everything had been turning out. But in a way I knew it had made all my bonds stronger with my family. As my fathers and I relationship healed I could already feel that it was growing back ten times stronger then before.

I made a sigh of relief as I sat in the car, putting my to-go box on my lap. I was really grateful that in my panic attack my father still managed to pay for my meal and have it put in a to-go box before coming to find me. What a keeper.

I frowned remembering what Bella had told me about moving, "Dad, are you moving us further across the country?" He looked over at me giving me a look I could not decipher. This should be interesting.


BOY ARE YOU GUYS IN FOR A RIDE. BIG BIG PLANS FOR THE FAMILY AND BABY NICKIE. I KNOW HORRIBLE TO LEAVE YOU ALL ON A CLIFF HANGER BUT I NEED YOU GUYS TOP COME BACK. I AM ALSO GOING TO START REVISING AND ADDING TO MY OTHER STORY OF NICKIE IN YOUNGER YEARS SO STAY TUNNED!