Not much to say here so, uh… enjoy! :)
Space and Time
"Okay you two," the Doctor shouted so that his voice would carry under the console. "You should find the couplings in the small cupboard down there. Where I got the whisk that time,"
Alex pulled the flimsy storage cupboard open and noticed some wires. "These things?" he shouted, pulling out the thin black wires and showing them to the Doctor through the glass.
"That's right. Rory, take them and plug them in like I told you. And Alex, I need you to take the rubber tube in there," he replied. "Stick the end of it in the oil pools, it should measure the aqua density of it and stuff." He lay back on the skateboard and rolled under the console, Screwdriver in hand. He began to whistle cheerfully.
Alex passed the couplings to Rory, who strung them through a loop in the mechanism of the under-controls. "How come you know how to do this then?" Alex asked.
"Oh, he told me when you and Amy went to the wardrobe. Something about me... y'know."
"What?" Alex asked, smiling cheekily, taking the tube out of the fragile locker. Rory muttered something about being the most sensible of the three of them. Alex chuckled and examined the tube in his hands. It was about a foot long, with a dial on one end, similar to a clock face. On the other was a metal spike, an inch or two long.
"Doctor?" Alex asked. "Do I put the met-" Alex stopped in his tracks as he looked up. Amy, in her characteristically short skirt, was standing almost directly above him. On a glass floor. Alex looked down at the oil pool immediately, forcing himself to continue looking down. She's Rory's wife! He told himself. Deciding to give it a try, while not wanting to tempt himself, he plunged the metal end into the main oil pool and waited, keeping his eyes locked fast on the multi-handed dial.
"ALEEEEX! RORYYYYY!" the Doctor shouted at the top of his voice. Deciding it safe to glance up (at the very least, he'd have an excuse to), Alex looked in the Doctor's direction. To his relief – and slight disappointment – Amy had bent down beside the Doctor, obscuring his view.
"You okay up there?" Rory asked, now wearing, Alex noticed, a pair of dark goggles. Alex suppressed a grin.
"Yep, fine! No problem!" the Doctor called. Amy got back to her feet. Alex's eyes shot back down to the device in his hands.
"What're you two doin'?" Amy asked them.
"Helping the Doctor?" Rory said. "Um, it's humming. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine. We're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana, or anything curved. Actually don't, 'cos it's not curved, or like a banana, forget the banana! Alex, how's the oil?"
"Erm," Alex began, trying to make sense of the dial. "The big one's pointing at nine, the middle one at four, the... other middle one at six, the little one at minus seven. Is that okay?"
"Nine, four, six, minus seven..." muttered the Doctor. "Are you sure it's not nine, four, six, positive fourteen?"
"No, because it doesn't go up to 14?"
"Oh, that's a shame. Okay, well, minus seven's close enough."
"It's twenty-one away!"
"Do you know how that machine works, Alex?"
"No, but-"
"Well there we are then,"
"Are they helping you fly the TARDIS?" Amy interrupted, affronted.
"Okay, Rory, attach thermocouplings two, seven and eleven," the Doctor said, jumping up from his back and looking through the glass at Rory. "Like I showed you!"
"How come they get a go?" Amy asked, striding directly over Alex, who noticed.
"I'm coming up now!" he shouted, a little too forcefully. He jogged out from below the console and up the steps to visual safety.
"You never let me have a go!"
"Doctor, don't. Seriously. I let her drive my car once," Rory said, staring up at Amy.
"Yeah, to the end of the road..."
"Where, according to Amy, there was 'an unexpected house'."
Alex snorted with laughter and passed the tube to the Doctor, who took it with interest.
"Oh like you can talk!" Amy said, slapping Alex's arm. "He's told me all about you!"
"Like what?" Alex asked, leaning on the console and keeping his eyes firmly above Amy's waist.
"How many times did you take to pass?"
"F… four," Alex muttered defensively, crossing his arms.
Amy smiled smugly. "Rory, how many tests did I take?"
"Well-"
"How many?"
"Well, one, but-"
"Exactly. Passed first time."
"You cheated. You wore a skirt," Rory replied, standing his ground.
"I didn't wear a skirt,"
"Well that would've worked too-"
"No, no, I did wear a skirt," Amy agreed, "but it was any old skirt."
"You two ever seen Amy drive?" Rory called up as he attached a thermocoupling.
"Nope," the Doctor and Alex replied in unison.
"Neither did her driving examiner…"
"Actually… it was this one!" Amy said, chuckling. "It was this skirt!"
Bang
They were all thrown sideways as the TARDIS crashed suddenly. The lights flickered, and died, before being replaced by a blue-ish emergency lighting.
"What was that?" Amy whispered.
"Rory?" the Doctor called anxiously. "Did you drop a thermocoupling?"
Silence. Then, eventually, "S…sorry," came Rory's sheepish response.
The Doctor cried out in irritation. "How did you do that? I told you, don't drop them." He glared at Rory through the glass floor. "I specifically mentioned not dropping them!"
"It was my fault," Amy admitted.
"Of course it wasn't your fault," the Doctor said as he typed on the typewriter, trying to get power back.
"It kind of, kind of was her fault," Rory spoke up.
"How could it be her fault?" the Doctor cried. Alex noted that it was probably best to remain silent at this point.
"Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor," Amy summarised. Spot on, thought Alex.
The Doctor looked at Amy's skirt, towards the floor, through it at Rory and back to Amy's face. Then he realised. "Ohh, Rory!"
"Sorry," he repeated.
"Well, we've landed," the Doctor went on, pulling a lever and making his way around the console. "Emergency materialisation, we should be fine; should've locked on to the safest place available. He pushed one more lever and the main lights fired up, unveiling the true extent of their 'safe' landing. The four of them gazed in shock and made their way towards it.
"H-h-how?" Alex asked, breaking his silence. Standing inside the TARDIS was… the TARDIS.
"Safest spot available," the Doctor reminded them. "The TARDIS has materialised inside itself."
"Is that supposed to happen?"
"Take a guess,"
"No?"
"That's the one." The Doctor slowly approached the box, extending his hand towards it.
"Well, what're you doing?" Amy asked as the Doctor stroked it slowly.
"I've absolutely no idea." With that, the Doctor pushed open the door to the box and stepped inside. He reappeared again by the interior doors, closing them behind him.
"What?" was all Alex could manage.
"Okay… that is a bit weird," Amy summarised.
As she spoke, the Doctor opened the door again and stuck his arm through it. The door to the box opened at the same time and an arm extended through it. Alex slowly walked towards the box, reached out and took the hand, shaking it.
"Can you feel that?" he asked the Doctor, who nodded. The hand grasped Alex's arm tightly and pulled. Alex fell through the TARDIS doors inside, just in time to see his legs fly into the box, where he'd just been standing. He was getting a headache.
Rory, however, chuckled. "That's actually pretty cool."
"Oh, I'm glad you're entertained, Rory," the Doctor said, stepping outside and emerging out of the box. "Now that we're stuck here for all eternity, at least you won't be bored." He strolled up the stairs to join them by the console. Alex followed.
"Whoa, what, we're stuck?" Amy asked in shock.
"The inside of the TARDIS is now joined to the outside of the TARDIS. Worse than a time loop; a space loop. Nothing can enter or leave this ship ever again," the Doctor explained ominously.
As he spoke, the interior doors swung open and a figure strode in. "Okay kids," said a second version of Amy. "This is where it gets complicated."
"Who the hell are you?" Amy One asked, finally breaking the silence.
"I'm you. From your future," Amy Two smiled suggestively.
"Tell me exactly what's happened," the Doctor ordered, obviously beginning to panic.
"Well, the exterior shell of the TARDIS has drifted forwards in time," Amy Two explained. "If you step into the box now, you step into the control room a tiny bit in the past," she smiled.
"I don't understand," said Amy One.
"Neither do I," Amy Two admitted in a whisper.
"But you just said it!"
"No, I'm just repeating it. I'm just remembering what I heard myself say when I was where you are now and repeating it. I'm just repeating this too. And this. And this."
"I still don't understand," Amy One complained, shaking her head.
"You still don't."
"Okay," the Doctor interrupted. "When does this Amy step inside the box? We need to maintain the time line."
"Ah! As soon as she's slapped Rory."
Alex snorted in laughter. Rory, however, wasn't pleased. "Hey, no. Why do I get slapped?"
"Because we have to stick to the established chain of events. One mistake and the entire time line could collapse, and we'd end up with two Amy Ponds forever, and then what would you do?" the Doctor asked him. Rory rose an eyebrow and glanced at Amy One suggestively. She gasped and slapped him around the face, hard.
Alex continued to giggle as the Doctor began to push Amy One towards the box.
"Dunno why you're laughin', you should be getting one too," Amy Two told him. "I know what you're thinking."
Alex tilted his head to one side as he looked at her and motioned an angelic halo in the air above his head.
"Okay you, into the police box, now," the Doctor was telling Amy One.
"What, and then I become her?" she asked.
"Yes! Go, go, go!" the Doctor ordered frantically.
She turned to push the door open, then stopped. She'd caught sight of her doppelgänger. "Do I really look like that?" Amy One asked in surprise.
"Yeah. Yeah you do," Amy Two smiled.
Amy One smiled appreciatively. "I'd give you a driving license."
"I bet you would," Amy Two winked.
The Doctor groaned. "This is how it all ends. Pond flirting with herself, true love at last. Oh. Sorry, Rory."
"Absolutely no problem at all…"
"NOW, Amy."
Amy One turned to herself again. "What's the first line?"
"'Okay kids, this is where it gets complicated'" Amy Two replied.
"Gotcha," she winked, and stepped inside the box.
"So, is that it?" Amy asked as her other self disappeared. "Are we okay now?"
"No. We're still trapped."
The control room doors opened again. Amy Two and Rory Two appeared.
"What're you doing?" the Doctor asked in despair.
"You told us to get into the police box," Rory Two explained. "Well, from your point of view, you're about to tell us to get into the police box. From our point of view you just told us to get into the police box, which is why we got in the police box, which is why we're… here."
"Do I have to remember all that?" Rory One asked.
"It just sort of, happens," Rory Two replied.
"Hi," Amy One murmured, waving at herself. Amy Two returned the gesture.
"Oi!" the Doctor cried. "Stop that. You two, in the police box, now!" he said, pushing them towards the box.
"You might want to go as well," Amy Two told Alex as Amy One and Rory One disappeared inside.
"Why?" Alex asked.
The doors opened again. Alex Two stepped inside the room. Amy and Rory parted to allow him to stand between them. "In you go," he told Alex One, waving towards the box.
"Oh," Alex moaned as the Doctor wordlessly pushed him towards the box. He pushed the doors open and stepped inside the control room. Amy and Rory parted to allow him to stand between them. "In you go," he told his other self, who was standing near the console, looking rather shocked.
"Oh," Alex's other self grumbled. The Doctor pushed him towards the box. He stepped inside and was gone.
"So? What now?" Amy asked the Doctor.
"All three of you stay exactly where you are," the Doctor ordered, rushing around the console, pulling levers and pressing buttons, seemingly at random. "I'm setting up a controlled temporal implosion; it's the only way to reset the TARDIS. But unless I find exactly the right lever to control the implosion… we're all gonna die!"
"You don't know which lever?" Amy asked in despair.
"No," the Doctor admitted. "But I'm about to find out," he smiled, looking expectantly towards the doors.
The doors swung open once more. The Doctor Two stepped into the room and barged his way through Alex, Amy and Rory. "The Wibbly Lever!" he announced.
"The Wibbly Lever, thank you!" Doctor One cried, pulling a specific lever and then heading towards the police box. He threw the doors open and stepped inside. As soon as he did so, the light on top of the box began to flash. The engines grinded and thrummed. A few seconds later, it had dematerialised. It was as if it had never been there.
"Okay, we're back in normal flight," the Doctor said when it had gone. He turned and put an arm around Amy's shoulder. "The TARDIS is no longer inside itself, the localised time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality, but just in case… Pond, put some trousers on."
