Chapter 54
The sudden pronouncement of Jedah's new rank within the mortal world shook the group far less than Amelia had expected it to. They'd been more concerned over her well-being, and when she'd archly asked them why all the fuss, they'd grown quite flustered and silent. Then again, when presented with the breakfast table, Lina and Naga both preferred to eat first and talk later.
It was several hours after the somewhat uneasy breakfast, and Amelia was sitting out by the koi pond, her old pastime suddenly calling to her. She was reading when a shadow fell over her, and she looked up to see that Lina had walked up. "Hi," Amelia offered quietly, resigning herself to the fact that Lina was probably going to give her hell for her decision.
Lina walked up to the water's edge and looked down to the ever-hopeful fish, not answering Amelia right away. After a moment, she turned back to Amelia, her face and eyes suddenly set and intense. "Are you happy, Amelia? I mean really happy?" The question settled over the slight distance and seemed to silence everything but the wind.
Amelia looked more than somewhat startled for a moment, and then she crooked a little half-smile, folding her book closed over her fingers and settling it into her lap. "Yes, I am, Lina. My life isn't perfect, but I think very much that it will do. Are you happy, Lina?"
Lina considered. She couldn't answer as readily as Amelia could. She'd never be able to admit the fear that was deep in her heart that one day, she'd lose Zelgadis to the darkness that she sometimes saw glint in the depths of his eyes. "I'm as happy as I can be, Amelia. I have Zelgadis back and you're happy with Jedah… though I don't think I want to know how you managed to come up with a way to have a relationship with him."
Amelia grinned, sitting up to look at Lina, her book shifting out of her lap, pages closing around where she'd been reading. "There was… concern. At first, he was afraid that he'd hurt me. But… his magic just felt warm and gentle." She colored a little, realizing what she was telling Lina without saying so many words.
Lina only laughed, the wind picking up her hair, rippling it out behind her and catching the attention of the two men sitting on the balcony of Jedah's new rooms. They watched the two women talk for a moment, and then the older of the two looked over to the younger.
"Would you ever have imagined this possible, Zel? You and I, as we are now, happily with the two of them?" Jedah's voice was amused, the light winter gaze almost laughing, but not quite. It somehow stuck him as a colossal joke, that they were Mazoku with not only mortal hearts, for that was only part of it. The key was the soul that came with those hearts, the capacity to love so freely that it stepped past the boundary of power.
Zelgadis considered for a time, and then he shook his head. "No, but then, until recently, I wanted to reject one nature or the other. I couldn't find that center of self and live within it." Not until he'd seen through Jedah's eyes, not until his own heart had touched Jedah's. Not until he'd learned that he could love by feeling it.
That was what had ultimately broken the barrier between them, given Zelgadis the strength to look to Jedah and not only forgive but accept him. He wasn't sure that Jedah knew, and if Jedah didn't know, then Zelgadis wasn't going to tell. But his heart had, for a brief moment, touched Jedah's and felt the other's love. He knew how Jedah had hated what had been done to Zelgadis, knew the feelings which motivated him to break Zelgadis over what was left of Ambervale. He even knew how Jedah loved Amelia and Xellos both, despite all external comprehension.
It was, perhaps, due to that tiniest of touches, that Zelgadis also knew one more thing. He knew, without seeing it, without being told, about the scar that Jedah carried over his heart, knew that no matter how long it had to heal, it would always remain a pink line, an almost painful reminder of what he had done, what he had risked. Zelgadis knew that the scar was there because Jedah wanted it to be there.
Zelgadis moved, rising to his feet and looking out over the grounds of the Palace, looking across to the wall and seeing Xellos perched atop the parapet. For a moment, he considered sending a thought to Xellos, but then, decided against it. Instead, he turned and moved inside, prompting Jedah to rise and follow.
"Zel?" Jedah asked, feeling the first touch of worry. The previous thought hadn't been finished, verbally or mentally, and with Zelgadis' sudden retreat into the room, Jedah wasn't certain that the man he called brother was all right. "What is it? If something's wrong, tell me."
"There is something wrong, Jedah." Zelgadis said quietly, stopping and looking at the door that led to the hallway. When he felt Jedah close in behind him, he turned and caught the other's shoulder with his left hand, placing his right hand over Jedah's heart, feeling the scar burn under his hand. "That is what's wrong. It's not your pain anymore."
Jedah couldn't breathe, and a flash of fear took over his thoughts. He couldn't even shift to the Mazoku, couldn't think, couldn't feel, couldn't… he blinked. Zelgadis was standing there, hands on his shoulders, steadying him on his feet. Frowning, Jedah lifted his hand to his chest, feeling nothing, not even the pain he'd come to know there. The scar was gone.
"I forgave you, Jedah. I figured that if there was anything that you could have possibly learned from me, it would have been not to hold on to pain that wasn't your own." Zelgadis quirked a half-grin, giving Jedah's shoulders a squeeze. "Guess you really are my brother after all."
It would take another few moments for Jedah to realize what had happened, and Zelgadis just left him there to think about it. He knew that eventually, a flying, leaping, over-exuberant Mazoku would land on him… but for now, he was going to go out to the grounds and enjoy the morning with his wife.
