Dear Miss Swan

A/N: glad you found the last chapter funny ;)

Chapter 55

Well this is embarrassing. The nurse is desperately trying not to laugh at me, in fact I can see her lip quivering a little, and Bella is already doubled over with laughter.

The nurse is actually having a hard time keeping the wand-thingy on Bella's belly because it's moving too much with her laughter.

"Well" I clear my throat in embarrassment. My brain often gets me into situations such as this, and one would think that I was used to it, but I still feel a little awkward about it. "Can you tell us the sex?"

If she says this is a boy, I can totally spin this around and make them think they're the idiots.

Ace.

"The baby seem to be a little shy and doesn't want to show us its gender today. Maybe next time"

"If we wait a bit could it move and then we could see? 'Cos I'm doing the nursery and I need-"

"Edward!" Bella snapped stopping my rambling "We can't stay here and wait for the baby to move. For one, this is very uncomfortable for me, and two, other women have appointments after us"

Damn

"Fine, can we come back next week?" the nurse laughs at me again.

"How about in two weeks." I'm about to protest, but Bella beats me to it.

"That's great. We'll book an appointment on the way out" she sends me one of those women glares that says 'Don't you say a fucking word'.

Fine

"Okay, here's a list of the prenatal vitamins you should be taking and some of the foods you should be eating"

"Thank you" I help Bella off the couch, and she re-buttons her pants while I wipe the gel off.

See? I can be a good boyfriend.

When we leave the hospital, Bella precedes to reenact the 'baby arm situation' over and over, with her own impression of me.

Let's just say she has no future career as an actress. I'd give her a 6/10 and that's being generous.

Not that I'm some acting Simon Cowell…hmm, I may be onto something there.

'I'd rather boil my head then see you act again, girl!"

If I just had the moobs and high waited trousers I'd be in!

A/N: you know what to do ;)