Mr. Fix-It
Chapter 55
Stephanie laughed at the scene in the living room. Ranger and the boys were racing their remote controlled cars around the living room , under the dining room table, around the breakfast bar, crossing the finish line by the Christmas tree. Mia and Kayla were contentedly playing with the big blue doll house. Barney had been chasing the little cars through the house.
The back door opened with Frank and Ellen Plum coming into the dining room.
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Daddy, Mom," kissing them. "Where's Grandma?"
"We left her at the house. Her and Stanley came back to the house at 6 O'clock this morning after your wedding. I don't want to know why she's wearing a wide grin," Frank explained.
Ellen continued, "He was asleep on the couch and Grandma on her bed. Valerie is on her way from Albert's parent's, but we wanted to stop here."
They brought gifts into the living room where a race was in progress.
"Ranger, are those your toys out there?"
"Yeah, Frank, " grinning from ear to ear..
Mia and Kayla opened their presents. They got Disney nightgowns with all the princesses on them.
'We can wear these to see Mickey Mouse," Mia was hopping around with it in front of her.
In a second package, each got a Littlest Pet Shop play set.
Stephanie's parent's got Ranger a basketball for his hoop. Stephanie got a blue Fleece hoodie. Bobby and Lester got sports trivia books.
Stephanie handed her father a package and one for her mother. Frank was popping the batteries in his remote controlled Buick and Ellen was gushing over the antique soup tureen Stephanie had bought in Avon-by-the-Sea.
Bobby and Lester were leaving with Tiger to see Melody and Samantha and meet each girl's parents. The four of them would be coming later to the Plum's to eat.
Ranger handed Frank an envelope where he pulled out two Disney World passes.
"We're leaving on Wednesday for Disney , then spend New Year's in my house in Miami. I booked a private plane so Barney can fly with us. Are you coming?"
Frank looked at Ellen as she was looking at him, "I've never been on a private plane, Frank."
"Either have I, but, there is a first time for everything. Thanks. I guess we're going to see Mickey Mouse," Mia and Kayla jumped up on his lap. "We have something we wanted to tell you before Valerie get's here."
"What, Daddy?"
"Your mother and I have been talking and we have decided to move here permanently. This house is easier to take care of for us. We aren't getting any younger. Everything is basically on one floor.'
"I have an eat-in-kitchen and dishwasher. And the woman who lives next door has a catering business and I'm going to work for her part-time since I love to cook."
"Are you sure, Daddy? You've lived in Trenton all your life."
"We like Point Pleasant and you're here, Pumpkin. And, Trenton is only 90 minutes away. Uncle Joe and I will meet halfway for lunch. He and Marie will come up to visit. I know a security company that maybe I can get a part-time job."
"I could always use monitor help, Frank."
"We going to offer to let Valerie, Albert, and the girls live in our house. Maybe they can rent their house or sell it. Albert is not the swiftest lawyer and girl number four is on the way in about another month."
"I understand, Daddy. You do want you want."
The back door opened with Tank and a very Santa looking Lula.
"Merry Christmas, Married Man," shaking Ranger's hand 'I like your presents Santa left you."
"I like them, too. I can't wait for the warm weather."
"Merry Christmas, Tank. Merry Christmas, Lula," Stephanie said as she hugged them.
Lula was wearing a Santa hat. Removing her coat revealed a red tunic with fur cuffs and collar over red spandex leggings and black boots. In rhinestones, her top read 'Santa's Baby'. Tank had a red long sleeved t-shirt over his cargos that read 'Santa'.
"How was your Christmas so far, Lula?" Ranger asked chuckling at their outfits.
"It was special, Batman. My Santa was very good to me."
Tank was sporting a grin as wide as the Delaware River.
Lula held patted Tank's cheek and there on her finger was a diamond engagement ring.
Stephanie squealed, "I'm so happy for you!"
They were hugging each other.
Frank and Ellen congratulated them as they were heading to their house. Valerie would be arriving soon. Ellen came out of the kitchen with a bottle of Grandpa's wine under each arm. "I'm taking some of this. I may need re-enforcements with Mother, Stanley, and Valerie all under one roof. Can you bring some more?"
Stephanie and Ranger looked at each other remembering Thanksgiving.
'Sure, Ellen."
"Ranger, bring your car. We can race in the driveway," his father-in-law said by the door waiting for his wife.
"Tank, Lula, are you still coming for dinner?"
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Plum. We're looking forward to your wonderful cooking," Tank told her.
Lula and Tank gave Mia and Kayla bright blue spandex tops with their names in rhinestones. They had a set of three collector plates for Stephanie and Ranger. One with Batman, one with Wonder Woman, and the third had all the Super Friends.
"When the family room is finished, we can hang these in there by the Juke Box. Thank you."
Tank loved his radio controlled Hummer. Stephanie picked out a hot pink nightie with matching panties and slippers for Lula.
"My Tankie will enjoy this," Lula was holding it up shaking it in front of them.
"Do you think you can handle things next week while Stephanie, the girls, Barney, and I go to Florida? Bobby and Lester will oversee everything up here so we can official open after we get back."
"Mommy and Daddy are taking us to see Mickey Mouse," Kayla was telling Tank and Lula.
Tank gave Ranger an eyebrow, "Mommy and Daddy, huh."
Ranger had a grin on his face, "Yes. We're taking a family vacation."
Lula was pointing to her curls, "Can I have a pair of those Minnie Mouse ears?"
"I think we can do that, Lula?" Stephanie agreed.
When Stephanie, Ranger, and the girls parked the XL7 at the Plum's followed by Tank and Lula, Frank was in the driveway playing with his car.
"I'm warning you. You're entering at your own risk?"
"Why Daddy?"
"Your sister is cranky. Now, she's not happy were moving, but she's pushing us out because she can't wait to move into our house. Edna and Stanley have been making out on the sofa. Your mother had some wine. It's going to be a Christmas dinner to remember I can tell."
Ranger was chuckling beside Stephanie, "Babe, I can't wait for these crazy family dinners."
"Ranger, I feel a food fight coming on. We haven't got to the part yet that Valerie wasn't here for the wedding last night."
They all walked into the mad house called The Plum's. Mary Alice was galloping about the house. Grandma and Stanley were kissing on the couch and never stopped when everyone filed into the house. Stephanie heard her mother and sister discussing something loudly.
"Hi, Mom. Valerie."
"Oh, it's my sister who gets married and doesn't invite me," turning around to Stephanie and Ranger.
Ranger commented, "Wow," seeing the very large round stomach of Valerie's.
"Valerie, I knew you had plans to spend it with Albert's family. I didn't want you to change your plans."
"Babe, " kissing her, "I'm going to go play with your father."
Ellen was pouring herself another glass of wine, "Ranger, I really love this house. And, you know why I love i?."
"Why?" Ranger said with trepidation.
"I love this dishwasher," raising her glass to it.
Ranger looked at Stephanie and she mouthed "food fight" back to him. He shook his head and went out to find Frank and Tank.
"White Girl, don't your Granny come up for air. Her and her little guy are sucking tonsils in there. I didn't know them little people could go that long without air."
"Mother and Stanley have been going at it for over three hours," Ellen explained.
"OHhhhhhhhhhhh Stanleeeeeeeeey" was heard coming from the living room.
Stephanie's Mother gulped down her wine and just picked up the bottle taking a swig.
"I hope there are no children in there," Stephanie said peeking into the living room.
Baby Lisa came toddling over holding something up for Valerie. Lula took it from her chubby fingers.
"Oh, these are good ones. A glow in the dark extra pleasure condom," Lula was waving around the packet.
Ellen waved her hand, "Mother ordered some so she and Stanley practice safe sex. Let's put the food on the table."
The girls were eating at the breakfast bar in the kitchen were it was safe.
The food was going around the table. Everyone, all fourteen, were seated around the table. Lester, Bobby, and their girlfriends had arrived shortly before dinner. Of course, Grandma was sitting beside Stephanie so she could attempt to keep her Grandmother out of trouble.
"Stephanie, your Grandmother and I enjoyed your wedding last night. Thank you for inviting me," Stanley said around Grandma Mazur.
"You're welcome, Stanley."
"You surprised us, Baby Granddaughter."
"You, you invited," Valerie muttered through her anger, "the little person, but not your own sister!"
Grandma spoke up, "We didn't even miss you."
"You old lady, what do you know?" Valerie whipped a buttered roll at Grandma.
Stanley held up his knife and batted it back across the table hitting Albert in the head, "That is your Grandmother. You need to show some respect."
"Babe, I'm not halfway done yet and the food is flying."
"Just wait."
"RESPECT! She's nothing but a geriatric sex pot!" throwing the roll back. It went between Grandma and Stanley hitting the wall. Barney got it.
Whipping a green bean across the table and landing on Valerie's plate, "So, every time you get it, you get pregnant."
"Frank, how is your ham?" Ellen yelled down the long table.
"Wonderful, Ellen."
"Mrs. Plum, your dinner is wonderful," Tank complimented.
"Thank you, Tank."
"At least I'm not shriveled like you," whipping mash potatoes across the table hitting Grandma's forehead. "Since your moving, Mother, what am I going to do?"
"I'm not acting like a spoiled brat, Valerie," flinging a fork of sweet potatoes and hitting her in the nose.
Valerie was raising her arm to throw the sweet potatoes back when Frank pounded his fist on the table.
"This is MY house, Valerie! We have company. I would like to enjoy my Christmas dinner. Quit your belly aching and shut up. If you weren't pregnant, I'd have Albert spank your ass because you deserve it! Stephanie's wedding was a joyous occasion. It was quiet, elegant, and special. We didn't have to listen to your mouth. Sit down and EAT!"
"You can't talk to me like that!" Valerie stood up and pounded her fist.
No sooner than she did that, Valerie clutched her stomach, "Augh! Albert the baby is coming. My water broke!"
"Not on my carpet I hope. I got it cleaned," Ellen informed everyone.
"My baby is coming! I don't care about your frickin' carpet, Mother! Albert do something!"
"Ok, Cuddle Umpkins." Albert looked at Valerie, swayed slightly, and fainted in his chair, sliding to the floor.
Everyone at the table was looking at Bobby.
"I don't know how to deliver a baby! Call 9-1-1!" Bobby yelled.
Melody open her cell phone, "The fire station is two blocks over. We'll get them here."
Samantha had Valerie by her arm walking her into the living room, "Are you having contractions?"
Valerie screamed, "Yessssss!"
"Ok, Point Pleasant has a small medical center. They'll get you there."
"Don't let her mess up my recliner!" Frank yelled towards the living room as he was finishing his apple pie. "Damn, I guess we have to the hospital. The paramedics can put Albert in the back, too."
Albert was still laying on the floor. No one had moved him.
"We don't have normal holiday meals with your family, Babe."
"Never. You could probably get an annulment, you know."
"No way! And miss out on these family get togethers."
