My apologies for the extreme lateness of this chapter! Things happened, and I didn't update. It was quite rude of me...


Chapter Fifty-One: Until My Dying Day

It truly did seem to be over. Shinta was on the ground, unmoving, either dead or out of the action for the present moment.

Amity stared at Gevanni, unsure whether she should thank him, or be annoyed with him for acting impulsively.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"He was gonna shoot you," Gevanni said. There was a strained, tight note in his voice, and that worried Amity.

"Gevanni," Amity said, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Gevanni said, "I'm fine, really, I just…"

The dark-haired man broke off suddenly, pain evident on his face.

"Gevanni?" Amity asked, a terrible suspicion growing in her mind.

"I heard four shots… Gevanni fired three…"

There was a thud, and Amity looked back at Gevanni, to see the dark-haired SPK agent on his knees, gasping.

"Gevanni!" Amity exclaimed, "If you have been shot, the natural thing to do is to notify me, so that I can call an…"

"There's no reason… For an ambulance…" Gevanni wheezed, "I know where he hit me."

"You will not die!" Amity shouted, "Rester! Mogi! Someone! Call an ambulance, this instant!"

"Already done," she heard Mogi say.

"Matsuda's… Gonna need the ambulance…" Gevanni said, "Might be able… Save him… Since… Not fatal hit… I think…?"

"We are going to save you too," Amity said, a desperate tone creeping into her voice, "Just… Stay still, and you will be fine."

"Not gonna be fine…" Gevanni gasped, "Sorry…"

Amity knelt in front of the dark-haired man. From that position, she could see the dark stain spreading across his shirt front.

"We need to apply pressure to the wound," Amity said, "Stay still."

"Amity…" Gevanni said quietly, "Too late."

"I will not fail you again!" Amity insisted, "Gevanni, you are not allowed to die! That is an order!"

Gevanni coughed, and, to Amity's horror, his hand came away from his mouth covered in blood.

"Sorry…" Gevanni said, "I really would have kept in touch, if we'd all have survived… But, hey, at least…"

It was getting harder for him to breathe, that much was obvious. There was blood on his hands, on his shirt, and there was no more time.

"…At least I… Saved your life..."

And then, with a very slight, pained smile, Gevanni lost consciousness. A few moments later, as Amity tried desperately to stop the bleeding, he ceased to breathe altogether.


It seemed to take a lifetime before Mogi managed to untie Sayu, and it took even longer before he allowed her to move. By that time, the room was silent, other than the sound of someone sobbing quietly.

Sayu barely registered it at the time, barely realized that it was Amity crying. Afterwards, she wondered how she could have missed that realization. But all she could think of, all she could remember, was the stupid, ridiculous thing that Matsuda had done. All she could think of was the expression on his face when Shinta shot him. He was hurt, and in pain, and scared… And yet, he didn't seem to be completely unhappy with his fate. He almost seemed…happy…to have it end that way.

"Is this my fault?" Sayu thought, "If I hadn't yelled at him, would he have been so stupid? Probably-this is Matsuda, after all. But at least he wouldn't… He wouldn't… He wouldn't have thought I hated him."

When Mogi finally let her go, Sayu ran over to Matsuda. Aizawa was kneeling next to the younger man, who did not appear to be breathing.

"He's not… He can't be…" Sayu gasped, running up behind Aizawa.

"He's not dead yet," Aizawa said grimly, "But if that blasted ambulance doesn't hurry up and get here, he will be."

"No, he can't!" Sayu shrieked, suddenly hysterical, "He can't die! If he dies, then he'll never know… He'll never know I'm sorry…"

Aizawa stood up, and put a hand on her shoulder.

"He knew you didn't mean it. That kid acts like an idiot… But he knew you never meant to hurt him."

"No, I did mean to hurt him," Sayu sobbed, "I wanted him to feel hurt, because he lied to me! He lied to me! He told me my brother was killed by Kira, not that he was Kira! And that made me so angry… Because I trusted him."

She paused, realizing something.

"He wanted to protect me, didn't he? He was trying to protect me from the truth, because he thought it would hurt me."

"The truth hurt him," Aizawa said, "One thing I've learned, Sayu. The people who smile the most… The people who try their best to make everybody happy… Those are the people who were hurt the most. And he really tried… He wanted you to be happy."

Aizawa turned away, and as he did, Sayu thought she might have seen a single tear run down the man's cheek.

"I'm going to wait for the ambulance," he said, "Stay with him. Please."

Sayu nodded, and as Aizawa left, she turned back and knelt next to Matsuda. After a moment, she hesitantly grasped his hand.

"His hands are so cold…"

"You can't die," she whispered, "You're not allowed to. You idiot! I really do care about you, like you care about me! Maybe…maybe I care about you in a different way than you thought I did... You always call me your best friend. But… Matsu… You are my best friend… But you're more to me. I love you… So you'd better not die, do you hear me? Don't die… Before I can tell you how sorry I am. Don't die before I can tell you I love you. Please, Matsuda… I don't want my nightmare to come true."


Aizawa had never felt time come to a standstill before, but he felt it as he waited for the ambulance to arrive. And when it finally did, along with the police and whoever else Mogi had called, only then did he turn back and reenter the building he had left.

Matsuda was gone, now, take to the hospital in the ambulance. Sayu and Mogi had gone too, as at the girl's insistence that she not be left behind to wonder about whether or not Matsuda would be all right, Mogi had volunteered to drive her.

Only Rester and Amity were left. Aizawa passed the blonde man as he entered the building, but it was not to speak to Rester that he had come. Aizawa knew-or, at least, was fairly certain-that Rester would be able to deal with the loss of Gevanni on his own. He was almost completely positive that the blonde SPK agent would prefer that.

However, Aizawa had some experience with young girls, and he knew that Amity would not be able to carry on quite so easily, now that everything was over and she no longer had to fight for her life.

He found her sobbing next to Gevanni's body. It seemed wrong for the dark-haired man to be so still, so silent, and it seemed even more wrong for Amity to be crying her heart out. Amity, who never cried, sobbing next to the body of a man Aizawa had not even known she cared about.

"Amity," Aizawa said quietly, "The police are here. They're going to take over from here. Rester and I can take their questions, or, if you'd like, Rester can take you home."

The girl did not really, but merely sobbed harder.

"You couldn't have saved him," Aizawa said, "Just like I couldn't save Ide, like Matsuda couldn't save Naoki, like…like Gevanni couldn't save Lidner. When you fight for good, Amity… People are going to die. You know that. So why… Why are you crying now?"

"He deserved to live!" Amity sobbed, "They all deserved to live! Gevanni, Lidner, Naoki… I sent them to their deaths, all of them!"

"Naoki committed suicide," Aizawa said, "You had nothing to do with it."

"I had everything to do with it!" Amity moaned, "Why am I still alive?"

"Probably because someone needs you," Aizawa said, "I have a good idea of who exactly it is… And I imagine he's waiting for you to call him."

"I cannot face him," Amity whispered, "I failed. I failed to keep them safe."

"We caught the bad guy," Aizawa said, "And because we did that, people died... I lost my best friend, Amity, for no reason. But, you know what? I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating myself because I couldn't save Ide. And you are a lot younger than I am, so the time you spend hating yourself will be a very long time for you."

"Gevanni died saving me," Amity said, "Why couldn't I have died instead?"

"Near needs you," Aizawa said, "As much as that kid annoys me, he needs you. Like Matsuda needs Sayu, Near needs you. I…may have overheard a few of your conversations. Believe me, he actually cares about you. I wouldn't like to see his reaction if you had died. Amity, if nothing else… Live for Near's sake. He might actually be a likable person if he just managed to develop some people skills. And he'll never develop those if the person he cares about the most isn't around anymore, you know."


Two chapters to go! It seems really creepy, thinking that this story is over... *it occurs to me that I may be murdered for this chapter* I'll...just be hiding...