Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was
Chapter 55: The Timey-Wimey of it all
A/N: We rejoin the Torchwood team several days after Jack left to go with the Doctor, an hour after Ianto gets the disturbing phone call and email from Chapter 44. Enjoy!
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IAANTOOOO!
Ianto staggered and dropped the papers in his hand, looking around the Hub frantically. "Jack?" he whispered.
"You OK, mate?" Owen asked, coming up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder.
Ianto shook himself and bent to gather the papers from the floor, glad none of them had landed in the pool of water at the base of the tower sculpture. "I thought I heard Jack," he replied, running his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture.
"It's been five days, and, as far as I know, he hasn't come back," Owen said. "Maybe you're hearing an echo of him? You know, one of those psychic things. He's lived here a long time, like, over a hundred years. The place is probably imbued with his psychic energy."
"True, but he hasn't been calling my name for much longer than a year."
"Ah, well, you're on your own about that, then," Owen answered. He paused. "You doing OK with him being gone?" he asked awkwardly.
"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Ianto snapped, suddenly angry. "I was just the part-time shag, after all. Isn't that what you called me? I'll survive." Ianto turned away towards the coffee machine. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have coffee to brew."
Owen stared after him in shock for a moment before going off to throw himself on the couch by the cog wheel door. They hadn't decided what to do about the conference room that had been destroyed when the Rift opened, and were using the couch area as a temporary meeting place, though they'd brought in a larger table they could all sit at rather than the coffee table.
Once everyone arrived and was seated with their preferred coffee, Ianto passed out copies of the email and associated files he'd gotten the hour before. "So, as you can see, whoever this is wants us to go to the Himalayas because Jack is there," he said, settling into his usual seat to Jack's right. Only, Jack was gone and Jack's seat was empty. He sighed sadly.
"It looks like a trap," Owen mumbled, slurping noisily on his coffee, his earlier tiff with Ianto forgotten.
"That's what I was thinking," Ianto muttered.
"I've managed to trace the email to Saxon's office," Tosh declared. "You've worked with him before, haven't you, Ianto? Why would he try to hide himself from us?"
"Busy with the election, I imagine," Ianto answered. "Though it does seem a bit suspicious."
"Well, I say we go," Gwen declared. Three stunned pairs of eyes turned to look at her. "What? It's what Jack would do, isn't it? He's always charging off into traps and such."
"Yes, but he usually does some planning, doesn't he?" Owen interjected.
"He didn't at the Beacons," Gwen argued.
"Well, we were about to be eaten by cannibals, weren't we?" Tosh pointed out. "We didn't have our car, and what else was he supposed to tell us to do?"
"So we'll go to the Himalayas," Gwen said again.
Ianto stared at the folder in front of him, tuning out the conversation as the others argued back and forth about following Saxon's orders. Ianto decided he didn't care about the outcome and would do whatever the group decided.
Who do I want to lead? he asked himself. I don't want the responsibility. I don't think Gwen deserves it, though if she's loud enough the others might just cave and let her be leader so they don't have to hear her argue about it. I'm not sure I can trust Owen with everything Jack has had to do with this place. I have three letters. Three letters for three different leaders.
I know Jack wants me to lead, but I don't think any of them will listen to me. They don't respect me or my opinions. I'm just the Teaboy. The General Support Officer who doubles as the Archivist, who shags the boss on the side. I'm not a leader. Hell, Owen still thinks I'm only here because I shagged Jack throughout most of my suspension.
I don't want to be a leader. I want to support the leader. I want to support Jack.
I want Jack. I want him back. I miss him. I miss so many things about him. The little looks and touches and comments throughout the day. The way he'd moan when he tasted the first coffee of the morning. How good it felt to have him pounding into me when I needed a rough fuck. His bright megawatt smile. Almost as much as that small smile he gives me sometimes when he's being especially caring. Those few times I got to wake up with him still in bed, feeling safe because I knew he was there. My nightmares weren't as bad when I was with him.
God, why did he have to leave?
No, I know why he had to leave. He needed answers. I know he needed answers, but why did he have to stay away? Why hasn't he come back yet? The Doctor has a bloody time machine! He could get Jack back within five minutes of leaving, couldn't he, so we wouldn't even know he was gone? Bloody Doctor. Stupid bloody Doctor, tempting him away from us.
But we betrayed him. I betrayed him. Why would he come back after I did that? After I almost ended it because of a stupid kiss? Am I really that shallow? Am I really that hung up on it? He's a flirt! I know that. I'm OK with that. But did he really have to kiss the blighter? Fall in love with him?
Jack, you showed me that night that you remembered just about every significant place or event we've had together. You remembered when our first kiss was, and invited me to dinner that same night a year later, even after we'd just had a rough patch and I was sure you'd forget. But you remembered, and you got me that car, and you let me shag you until dawn…
You care about me. I know you do! But you can't say it, and I wish you could, and if you do come back, I'll tell you that I don't care that you can't say it as long as we keep doing what we're doing. And I won't tell you how I feel because I know you don't want to hear it, but I'll do everything I can to make you feel loved and needed. Because I need you, too, Jack. I need you. You balance me. You gave my life meaning when all I had was darkness. I can't lose that again.
"Ianto, anything you can think of?" Owen asked, breaking into his thoughts. Ianto jerked slightly.
"I'm sorry. What was the question?"
"I said, does Jack have any files on yetis or the Himalayas or Saxon that you know about? And what do the Archives tell us?"
"Oh, um, no. His Saxon file is quite small, and includes a few crude drawings he did while on the phone with him, but not much beyond the info on Saxon's website and transcripts of phone conversations they've had. He disliked the man, and didn't hold much store by his opinions." Ianto paused, thinking. "There's nothing about the Himalayas in the Archives, that I've seen, and that includes what I saw when I was back at London. That was only a small fraction of what they had, however, and most of that data is lost, so there might be something I've just never seen. As for yetis, I'm not sure. I'd have to do some research and cross-referencing."
"You didn't do it before you called us in?" Gwen asked, annoyance coloring her tone.
"No, I was too busy making the coffee I knew you'd want at this hour and trying to find the procedures for picking a new director," Ianto replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Easy there, mate," Owen said, making a soothing motion. "We know you've been doing your best. Did you find anything about who's in charge next?"
Ianto took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Here goes nothing, he thought, standing. I'm glad I'm so good at forging Jack's signature. He picked up the folder in front of him, extracted the single sheet of paper and began reading.
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To: All Torchwood Staff
From: Captain Jack Harkness
SUCCESSION OF COMMAND OF TORCHWOOD THREE, CARDIFF
In the event of my absence from Torchwood (while not on a mission) or incapacitation due to medical/alien means for greater than one (1) month, the following steps will be taken:
1. Dr. Owen Harper is hereby promoted to Medical Director and Director of Field Operations.
2. Ms. Toshiko Sato is hereby promoted to Director of Technology, Science and Research.
3. Mr. Ianto Jones is hereby promoted to Head Archivist and Liaison to the Government and UNIT, as well as Special Liaison to the Crown.
4. Ms. Gwen Cooper remains as a full-time Field Agent and Police Liaison.
Should it be necessary to hire and train new field agents, medical/technical staff or support officers, a panel of Mr. Jones and Dr. Harper will evaluate and vet all potential employees.
As Special Liaison to the Crown, Mr. Jones has the final authority on matters of Torchwood Policy and inter-agency communications.
Signed,
Captain Jack Harkness
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Owen snatched the letter from Ianto's hands as soon as he finished reading it. He proceeded to re-read the letter, muttering as he went along. Then he passed it to Tosh.
"So who's in charge?" Gwen asked as she read it over Tosh's shoulder.
"I don't think he appointed anyone," Ianto answered. "We each have our specialties, and Owen's in charge of fieldwork and I'm in charge of talking to the government and Crown."
"You think you're up for that?" Owen wondered. "Talking to the Crown, I mean."
"I've met the Queen with Jack a few times."
"Really?" Tosh asked. "What's she like?"
"Remarkably spry," Ianto answered. "She has a quick wit and enjoys flirting with Jack. Not at all her public image, which is as she likes it." He paused. "I've also met some of the other Royals, as a precaution, though they won't learn about Torchwood until they're on the throne."
Owen paused, looking up from the letter. "You know, I think this means that Teaboy's in charge," he mused.
"I don't want it," Ianto said quickly.
"Well, neither do I," Owen replied. "I'll take Field Operations, but I'm not running this whole bloody place."
"Well, we don't have to decide now, do we?" Tosh put in. "He hasn't been gone a month yet. He might come back," she added hopefully.
"So let's figure it out when we get back from the Himalayas," Gwen said. "If that's where he is, we won't have to worry about it, right?"
"You really think that's where he is?" Tosh asked.
"It's as good a place to start as any."
Ianto sighed. "I'll arrange with UNIT for transport," he muttered, standing.
***TW TW TW***
Ianto wanted to crawl down the hallway to his flat, he was so tired, but he kept himself on his feet somehow, not wanting to loose what little dignity he had left, looking the way he did after three flights and no shower for several weeks. He stood swaying in front of his door for nearly five minutes, struggling to remember where his keys were. He finally decided that he'd lost them somewhere in the Himalayas. He shuffled down the hall to his neighbor's door and knocked, leaving his bags at his own door. He was too drained to care if anything was stolen, though the possibility was unlikely. Everyone seemed to look out for each other in the building.
Sharon Barry answered quickly. "Ianto!" she exclaimed, seeing him. "Where have you been, love? We've all been worried about you."
"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have a spare key to my flat?" he asked softly, too tired to bother with the usual pleasantries and greetings. "I think Jack said once that he left one for you if there was an emergency."
"That he did, six months ago now. Come in for a spot of tea while I find it."
Within minutes, Ianto found himself sitting at Mrs. Barry's cozy kitchen table, a mug of tea in front of him. He took a grateful sip of it, glad for the warmth. She bustled around him, chatting about their other neighbors good-natured and telling him about the horrible election and how Saxon had murdered the American President before being killed by his own wife. She set a plate of biscuits in front of him and sat, holding her own tea.
"So where's Jack that he can't let you in?" she finally asked, her eyes flashing. He didn't notice the slight accusation in her tone.
"He left," Ianto blurted before he could censor himself. "I mean, he left for business, and he's not back yet."
"You don't sound so happy about that," she commented.
"Well, we got into a fight the week before he left," Ianto explained, not sure why he was opening up to her in this way but unable to stop himself because he was so tired and his usual filters weren't working. "I almost broke up with him, but he explained… and then there was this big work thing we had to do, and he was hurt."
"Oh no! Is he better?"
"Um, it was a medically induced coma," Ianto explained, thinking that was the closest he could get to the truth. "Four days later we brought him out of it, and he was doing fine, and was in the middle of apologizing to me for what happened before all of that, but then work got in the way again, and before I knew it, he was gone."
"When is he coming back?"
"I don't know. He, um, he's undercover. He can't contact us until he's back."
"How long has it been?"
"Almost a month. We've been out of town for three weeks, following a lead. Just got back." He shivered, remembering the bone-deep chill he'd had on the top of the mountain. "Bloody Himalayas," he muttered.
"That's not exactly Cardiff," she pointed out, standing to make him another mug of tea. "I didn't think you lot went much farther than London."
"No, but our work takes us strange places sometimes."
"That's what I hear." Ianto looked up in surprise. "Oh, don't give me that look. I've seen you and Jack in that bloody Torchwood behemoth he calls a car. You boys sure do like a bit of flash, don't you?"
"The director before Jack had it ordered," Ianto mumbled, embarrassed. "Apparently, it's too expensive to order a new one. I keep telling him it's too ostentatious, that we should just take off the lettering, but …"
"He loves it," she finished for him. "A flair for the dramatic, that one has."
"Yeah," Ianto said softly.
"You miss him, don't you?" she asked gently after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"More than I thought possible," he answered, staring into the empty mug in his hands. "Knowing him, being with him, it's changed me for the better. Nothing's the same without him."
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure he misses you, too."
"I like to think so," Ianto said with a sad smile.
