Sources: Great Short Poems, Paul Negri; The Tale of Genji, Murasaki Shikibu.

Chronology: "CSI: My Nanny"

Sara Teasdale, "The Kiss":

I hoped that he would love me,
And he has kissed my mouth.
But I am like a stricken bird
That cannot reach the south.

For though I know he loves me,
To-night my heart is sad;
His kiss was not so wonderful
As all the dreams I had.

"You know you really shouldn't eat that," Calleigh said pointedly about the bowl of sugared cereal that Jake regarded as appropriate breakfast food.

"I've been eating it since I was two, and it hasn't killed me yet."

"You're not two anymore. You might act like it sometimes, but you're not." Calleigh teased. She ate a bite of her own breakfast: oatmeal with fruit.

"It's more edible than what you've got."

She chuckled. After a minute of eating slowly in silence, she looked up at him. "What do you think about kids?" she asked.

Jake blinked in surprise. He dropped his spoon, leaned back, and looked at her. "Wow. Where did that come from?"

"Well, it's something I think we need to talk about, don't you?"

"Yeah, but...don't you think it's a little sudden?"

"Well, we're getting married. I don't know, when did you want to talk about it?"

"After the honeymoon, at least. I don't know. Do you want kids?"

"Maybe. Eventually," she replied.

"Why?"

Calleigh found she couldn't quite articulate her reasons. "Well...having someone to take care of, to watch growing up..."

"We can get a puppy."

She sighed in frustration.

Jake leaned forward and tried to sound conciliatory. "Okay, I know it's not the same thing. But do you really want kids, or do you just feel like you're expected to? I know how much your job means to you, and how much of your time you devote to it. Think about how much time and energy a kid would take up. I don't know about you, but I don't want to stay home to take care of it all day."

"I know it wouldn't be easy, but a lot of people manage to raise children and have a career at the same time."

"You're right," he said. "I just think it's something we should really think about carefully. Can we talk about it later?"

"Yeah. That's a good idea, I have to get to work," Calleigh said, wishing she'd never brought it up. She put her dishes in the sink, grabbed her keys, and left as quickly as she could.

It wasn't like she hadn't already given it plenty of thought. She'd decided long ago that, if she found the right man and settled down, having children was something she wanted. But obviously Jake didn't. It wasn't like it was a deal-breaker, though. She could be happy without children, and he did have a point. She tried not to let their conversation bother her.

Ise, Kokinshu 31:

Wild geese leaving the mists of spring behind them--
Is it that they prefer a blossomless land?

The case was a nanny stabbed to death in her employers' house while they were outside having a party.

Calleigh and Eric were searching the room of Jonah Lambert, one of the children the victim took care of.

"Can you imagine raising a family without any help?" she asked, still thinking about what Jake had said that morning. "I mean, you know, given the hours we work?"

"Yeah, I could. Definitely," he said without hesitation. He'd seen his parents raise four children while both working full-time jobs, and he was sure that he could find a way to manage it, given the opportunity.

Calleigh turned toward him. "Really?"

"Yeah. Why? You think I wouldn't be a good dad?"

"No; I think you'd be a great dad," she said as she examined the clothes in the closet. "I just never heard you mention having children before."

"I don't know. Maybe when I find the...right girl." Ever since he'd figured out Calleigh was engaged, Eric had been trying to avoid thinking about her romantically, but it was hard not to imagine how beautiful her children would be. He was failing completely at envisioning a "right girl" who didn't bear a strong resemblance to her.

Calleigh pressed her lips together tightly to get rid of the smile that accompanied the thought of Eric with children. His right girl would be an extraordinarily lucky woman.

The smile went away as she began to wonder if she could have been that lucky woman, if she hadn't chosen Jake.

Murasaki Shikibu:

I think to find her equal, and my sleeves
Are deep in tears as the land in morning mist.