Who's To Say?

Chapter 50

Remus found the Hufflepuff witch with some of her friends hanging right around the school's entrance, likely enjoying the last effects of the sun before autumn fully set in.

"'Lo, Abby," he greeted.

"Remus! Hi!," she replied happily, smiling, "Why does it seem like I haven't seen you in ages?"

"It has been a while… can we walk?"

"Of course."

Abigail alerted her friends and then the two set off, walking toward Hagrid's hut.

"So it has been some time since we've spoken, right?" she inquired.

"Er, yeah. It has," he affirmed, glancing at the witch. About the time Mary had confessed her feelings for him, which had been a few weeks prior.

"How've you been, then?"

"Um, I've been better, truthfully."

"Well that's no good. I've been busy like mad, or at least that's the way it feels! Classes and homework and friends- seventh year, right?" Abigail commented.

"Yeah, r-right." Remus said, noticing how she had glossed right over his proclamation.

"And then Jeremy's been vying for time with me ever since term started-"

"Jeremy? Irving?"

"Yes, my Housemate," she stated, stopping and peering at him.

"You've been spending time with Irving?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"Well, not loads, but some…"

Remus sighed and looked away, his brow still creased. Had she even noticed he had been absent these past few weeks?

"Abby, how do you see me? What am I to you?" he questioned.

"Oh! Er. I!...," Abigail began after a moment, appearing thrown, "Well, I f-first fancied you when we were in fourth year."

"Okay. But now?"

"I… I'm not sure, Remus. I still have feelings for you, but… they seem to come and go. They came back in sixth year so I thought I'd do something about them, and you responded, or I reckoned you did. We didn't really speak over summer, though, and I haven't seen much of you so far seventh year."

"I suppose you're right," the Gryffindor conceded, feeling suddenly downtrodden, "If that bothered you, though, you could've come to me and told me."

"I've been busy, like I mentioned. And you didn't seem too interested yourself, so... I guess I wasn't sure." Abigail responded. Remus frowned, understanding he had just as much blame as she did.

"Yeah," he mumbled. It was silent for an elongated period while she studied him and he stared at the grass.

"Remus, you're such a genuinely good bloke! I don't know if we're some kind of complicated friends o-or what, but does it matter so much? Maybe we don't need a definition or time restraints; we always seem to drift back to each other at some point," the witch reasoned.

"It matters to me, Abby. What would I do during the period when your feelings have gone? Wait around until they come back? What if they eventually don't? I can't let myself be a backup option, a choice that's always there when all else fails. That's just a guaranteed way to get hurt." Remus replied.

"Oh, I don't mean it like that, to hurt you!"

"I know you don't, and I'm glad you were honest with me. I just need someone to know exactly how they feel about me… I deserve that much. You deserve a lot as well and I don't think I'd be able to give it to you."

"Remus, this is hard," Abigail frowned, "Especially because I don't want things to be strained between us."

"I don't either. That's why I'm making this all the easier for you, by giving you a way out!" he noted, meaning it as a breezy joke yet still managing to feel dejected inside.

The conversation with Abigail had not gone as expected. Remus had not anticipated he would feel rejected or self-conscious because of the talk but he did. Hearing Abigail say her feelings for him came and went, and witnessing her nonchalance about his position in her life, had been a blow to him. The two had not known each other well enough it seemed, and probably had not tried to move to a more personal level. Remus wanted to speak to his friends about what had happened so after an hour and a half of stewing in the prefects' lounge he went to locate them. (He said goodbye to the few prefects whom had been in there with him).

It was late afternoon and he did not know where they might be so Remus checked the Map after discovering that none of them were in Gryffindor's common room. Frank was also missing but he had told his dorm mates the previous night that he was going to have a picnic with Alice this day, to which Sirius had replied:

"Longbottom, you make me sick with this phenomenal boyfriend act you have going."

Remus saw that Peter and Sirius were together on top of the Astronomy tower so he proceeded to join them. When he arrived he saw the pair was painting the stone architecture in different colors and looked caught upon seeing him.

"Defacing school property?" smirked the prefect.

"Improving," corrected Sirius, smiling some, "Gonna report us? Detention maybe?"

"I'll leave that for the Head Boy, let him dole out punishment and see how it feels."

"Well he's with the Head Girl right now so we can continue!" Peter said, returning to the task at hand.

"Yeah, he skipped out on us to be with darling Lily but he'll resurface for dinner." Sirius explained. Ir was silent as Remus leaned against the stone and watched them work.

"You gonna help?" Peter wondered. Remus smiled briefly and shook his head.

"So… are things better since yesterday?" Sirius questioned carefully, thinking they had to be since he was interacting with them once more.

"I don't know…" the Lupin boy answered honestly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Peter proposed.

"Not yet. But I did speak to Abby earlier today and that was… eye opening."

"Well tell us about it- while you help us redecorate. It'll be soothing." Sirius instructed, a mischievous grin on his face.

James and Lily were not present at dinner later and missed it completely, something that did not sit well with Sirius, It was evident he was quite annoyed.

"He said he'd be back by dinner and he wasn't. We were planning to talk to him about Moony's talk with Holland!" he mentioned grumpily.

The couple walked into the common room at 7:45PM and its year was loosely knit together except for Dorcas whom had gone to spend some time with Alex Farrell after the meal. Lily was rapidly hailed by her female companions and James approached his roommates with a vibrant disposition.

"How was your picnic, Frank?" the captain asked, grinning.

"Practically perfect! Alice really liked it." Frank responded, appearing pleased.

"It is a good idea."

"Prongs, we'd better not see you out there with Lily next weekend." Peter advised. They laughed, or most of them did.

"What happened to you showing back up for dinner? Forgot where the Great Hall is?" Sirius remarked. James chuckled and then plopped down next to him on the sofa.

"We just lost time! Went to the kitchens a bit after seven when we realized we'd missed it. It was only Lily's second time being down there… she enjoyed herself and you know how the elves are," he reported.

"She's been to the kitchens before?" Remus inquired.

"In fifth year, with her wanky ex Priatt. And he only knew from us!," James then gave a start and looked at his friend, as though finally registering his presence, "Hello Remus! All right?"

"Just lost time, huh?" snorted Frank, knowingly. The Head Boy's grin widened and he peered at the girls absorbed in their own conversation before replying.

"Yeah, there was a considerable amount of kissing going on so that was to blame. But in my mind we had to make up for the week, during which there was a lot of talking and not enough snogging! And I'm always an advocate for snogs, especially now that it's with Lily Evans! I didn't want to leave the Head Room but she made me; claimed we needed food and a chance to breathe," The other boys were smiling, "I just can't keep my lips away from hers! It's still so new, being with her…"

"You have to hold yourself back, don't you?" laughed Peter.

"Okay, okay! You snogged Lily to death but you missed Remus' troubles with Holland!" Sirius remarked, pointing at him.

"Troubles?" James pondered, peering at the boy in question.

"Not troubles-" Remus commenced unsuccessfully.

"She turned him down." Sirius attested.

"What?" uttered James in a surprised tone.

"She didn't turn-" the prefect started again, pointlessly.

"So Peter and I were helping him out with it, waiting to include you." Sirius stated.

"Moony, what happened?" James inquired after a moment, frowning slightly.

"Er, it… it's not that big of a deal." Remus mentioned, wondering how he had so rapidly become the topic of discussion.

Professor Maron, the Astronomy instructor, discovered the colorful tower top on Sunday morning and alerted the headmaster. In turn, Dumbledore sent a message to James and Lily informing them of the discovery and their task of unearthing the culprit(s), if possible. He remarked that Professor Maron's upset by the defamation had caused him to become involved and thereby reach out to the Heads, who would have more time and be much better equipped to "solve the mystery." Dumbledore was also letting them decide on a punishment for the perpetrator(s) which James was looking forward to delegating.

In addition to finding out the Astronomy Tower had been defiled that day (for which the red head greatly believed was the act of a Gryffindor), Alice told Lily she wanted to speak to her privately after lunch. Lily consented readily and the two girls relocated to the library after the meal, leaving James to exuberantly interrogate people in the common room about the Astronomy Tower while his friends watched in amusement. The witches sat at a table in the very back of the library so they could speak more freely and reduce the chance of Pince confronting them, but they spoke quietly nonetheless.

"So… I've noticed something and it involves you." Alice began after they had been there for 20 minutes. She looked both concerned and nervous as she played with her quill.

"What?" Lily inquired. She had stopped writing and was gazing at the blonde.

"This past week- it's seemed as though Dorcas has been… ignoring you."

There was silence. A wave of heat passed over Lily and she stared down at her parchment, mouth open. Someone had realized….

"Has she?" Alice wondered, the concern still apparent on her countenance. The Head Girl nodded deftly and then looked up again.

"Yes," she near whispered.

"But why? What's going on?"

The tears then came, and Lily cursed herself for their unexpected arrival. Not now! What could she say? She could not tell Alice the truth; Dorcas might hate her even more if Lily told her business! Well, she's in love with James and wants no part of me now that we're dating! But Lily wanted Alice to know something, tired of being alone in this and hoping that it could perhaps be resolved with intervention from another party.

"You have to ask her, talk to her," Lily notified, wiping the few tears away with her hand, "I don't want to say because I feel that it's her place. But that night she wanted to talk to me? It hasn't been the same since."

"Oh, Lily, I will. I will. Marlene is worried too. I just can't imagine what her reason is to shut you out!" Alice said, holding her friend's hand across the table.

"I don't want this to last for long. I don't want it to damage our friendship but I don't know what I can do."

"I can't- we won't let it, whatever it is. We've all been close for years! We'll talk to Dorcas tonight."

"People will always have their secrets," the red head noted, offering a watery smile. Alice shook her head, frowning.

"Tonight. Don't fret," she promised.

Everyone sat together at dinner, Dorcas unwavering in her Lily/James snubbing although she appeared to be in a good mood. (She had no problem speaking and laughing with the other Marauders and Frank). The Head Girl was nervous and eager about her roommates speaking to the Meadowes girl and did her best to not keep peering at her. How could such a small person be so intimidating? Alice privately asked Dorcas if she would talk to her in their room at 9 o'clock and the latter easily agreed, unaware that Marlene was going to already be there by that time, waiting for them.

When it came time, the girls were in the common room completing homework with Frank and Peter. Mary was with Lily, Remus, James and Sirius in another part of the room working on homework as well.

"Let's go then, Waite," Dorcas alerted, "It's nine."

"As, yes." Both witches stood up and the boys looked at them curiously.

"Leaving?" Peter questioned.

"Just for a bit. We'll be back so don't worry over our things." Alice told them.

"Right." Frank acknowledged.

"Let's go with the others 'til then," they heard Peter say as they walked for the staircase.

Dorcas spoke about how quickly September had passed while they made their way to the dormitory, and when they arrived they saw Marlene sitting at the desk, a book propped up on its surface.

"Back from Bruce, I see." Dorcas stated, going to her bed.

"Uh, yes." Marlene responded, turning to face them. She had been with her boyfriend before returning to the tower at ten until nine.

"So what's up Alice?"

Both purebloods exchanged uneasy glances before an answer was given.

"Well… we've noticed a, a distance between you and Lily lately."

Dorcas stared at Alice without blinking. Her face gave away nothing.

"A distance," she repeated at last.

"Yes. Marlene and I think things have shifted between you two for some reason and we're concerned, truthfully." Alice explained. Marlene nodded hurriedly but the Chaser shook her head and scoffed.

"You wanted to talk, Marlene is back at a convenient time... I get it now. This was all planned! This is an ambush." Dorcas commented.

"No, of course not Dorcas!" the McKinnon girl countered.

"Lily put you up to this?"

"Not at all! It was our idea!," Alice interjected, stepping forward, "I told her I noticed you two weren't speaking. She only confirmed it, said nothing has been the same since that night you two talked." Dorcas shook her head again, crossing her arms and looking angry.

"What did she tell you?" she asked.

"Nothing, just that we had to talk to you about it. She said it wasn't her place," reported Alice.

"Now she wants to be considerate; how noble of her!"

"What happened, Dorcas? We don't want you two fighting. We're all close, all good friends." Marlene implored.

"No one's fighting," Dorcas responded smartly, arms still folded, "I'm just not bothering with her."

"But why?"

"Lily's hurt over it!" Alice supplied beseechingly.

"Oh, good- she can know what it's like!" the Chaser observed.

"Dorcas-"

"You said we're all close, good friends. If we really are then why did no one tell me about Lily and James? That they snogged twice. Twice! That she fancied him? Not one of you. I found out when the rest of the school did." Her eyes were unforgiving and the pair peered at one another, crestfallen. They had nothing to say to this.

"She left it up to me to tell you what happened… well I chose not to tell you, just like you lot didn't tell me. We're even. And if this is going to be too much of a problem for everyone to handle then I have a solution: I will not bother with any of you! Since I'm creating the distance and making you worried, over her, might I add, I will remove myself from the problem. You'll be able to find me hanging with my teammates from this point on." Dorcas proclaimed. She then swiftly walked to the door.

"We care about you just as much!" Marlene insisted. However, she received no answer and a second later it was only the purebloods in the room.

"Merlin, no!" Alice uttered in a sad, frustrated voice, putting a hand to her head.

"We've made it worse! We pushed her away!"

"What is going on?"

The two witches had to deliver the bad news to Lily and they did it when it was time to retire for the night. Mary was in the shower and Dorcas was rooted downstairs, interacting with Housemates whom were still loitering around.

"How'd it go?" she anxiously inquired.

"It was a disaster." Alice relayed, looking upset.

"What?" Lily's face visibly fell from disappointment.

"She refused to tell us the reason but she didn't deny she was ignoring you. She also cut herself off from the rest of us; she won't be interacting with any of us." Marlene explained somberly.

"God," the Head Girl said in a helpless tone. Alice nodded.

"Yes. She was quite hurt that she was the only one to not know about you and James, though- that came out. I reckon that's a large part of whatever's going on," the blonde offered.

Lily hugged herself, anguish now beginning to show on her countenance. What was it going to take in order to make any leeway in this situation? Was it even possible? What was going to happen?

"I can't believe it's like this," she choked out, "I should be excited about this new relationship with James and instead I'm worried sick I've lost a best friend."

"No, Lily, don't say that! You haven't lost her! That's not going to happen!," Marlene countered, placing a hand on the red head's shoulder, "It won't stay like this. It will change!"

"Yes. This will get resolved somehow! Our friendship with each other is too important." Alice added. Lily looked at them dejectedly and nodded slowly, hoping to the high heavens they were right. She did not want to lose another close friend for a second time at Hogwarts.

Monday was the last day of September. Dorcas kept true to her word and began including Alice and Marlene in her snubbing, choosing Monday to begin the change of eating all her meals with her teammates or the sixth year Gryffindors. The three witches picked their brains for a way to re-engage the Chaser but it was extremely difficult as she refused to utter more than two words to them. On Tuesday evening Mary approached them all about their fifth dorm mate during Quidditch practice.

"All right. So I've noticed Dorcas has not been herself for over a week but now it seems she's not speaking to any of you." Mary stated matter of factly, brow furrowed. The girls sat in the common room surrounded by homework, per usual, positioned in a small circle on the carpet.

"She'll talk to me although it's definitely changed, but it's like you three are invisible to her. What's the problem?" she continued.

"Yes, Mary, yes! She is ignoring us. And she has been acting much differently." Alice confirmed, exhaling.

"Why?"

Lily looked at Marlene and Alice before explaining:

"She's been like this, with me anyway, since that night she asked me to talk. D'you remember? Alice and Marlene noticed and when they went to her about it on Sunday she got angry and shut them out as well."

"Okay," Mary started, "Makes sense now. But why is she treating you lot this way? What's the reason?"

"Dorcas was upset because she felt we were taking Lily's side and ambushing her, but we just wanted to know what had happened! She wouldn't tell us," relayed Marlene.

"I know very well why she started ignoring me but I can't say. It's… it's not my place to reveal that." Lily attested, frowning heavily. Mary gazed around at all of them.

"And you know Dorcas: when she is determined about something, nothing stops her. She could very well keep this up for the rest of seventh year." Alice remarked. There was brief silence.

"I'll talk to her," the Macdonald girl claimed. Her friends looked surprised.

"What if she shuts you out too? Then she'll avoid every one of us!" Marlene mentioned.

"She can try. But I'll get something out of her. You can't disown your friends just like that, without talking!"

The other three appeared unsure but also notably relieved and grateful, especially the Head Girl.

"Well, how is it going with Remus? Has anything changed?" Lily questioned tentatively. Mary sighed.

"He's friendly again, which is good, but still somewhat distant. He hasn't even alluded to what I told him about my feelings. I get more discouraged and confused with each day," she reported. Her roommates frowned in sympathy.

"It's been some time since you told him." Alice pointed out.

"Yes… there's nothing I can really do right now."

"Maybe I can help, then," offered Lily, "You said you'd speak to Dorcas so I can return the favor. I'm close enough to Remus to speak to him about this, about you."

"I would not be opposed to that at all!" Mary gushed, looking grateful.

"Is there anyone else we need to scheme to talk to? Are you and Bruce all right?" Alice joked, a half smile on her face. The witches laughed lightly.

The Quidditch team returned from practice a bit past 8:30PM. Dorcas went straight to the dormitory, either to shower right away or avoid interacting with anyone, while James made to look for Lily. He was accompanied by all of the Marauders and Frank, all of whom attended practice, and they followed him to where the seventh year girls were seated. The captain wore a perturbed expression as Peter and Sirius spoke avidly; Franked seemed entertained.

"Welcome back, boys!" greeted Marlene.

"Something happen on the pitch?" Lily wondered, noticing their varying demeanors.

"Er, not really. But we've gotta talk… decide something." James replied, continuing to appear conflicted. This puzzled his partner but she had not uttered a syllable before Sirius interjected.

"You're not really taking this there, are you?" he inquired. He sounded incredulous but also highly amused.

"What's going on?" asked Alice.

"Peter let slip that he and Sirius were the ones who painted the Astronomy Tower." Frank alerted.

"I'm sorry! I didn't think it really mattered!" Peter defended, hands up in surrender.

"I knew it was Gryffindor's work." Lily commented, shaking her head as her friends and Frank smiled.

"Yeah, and then Prongs here looks shocked and starts talking about Professor Dumbledore and the job he gave the Heads to find out who did it and having to report back!," Sirius added, "He made it seem like he's actually thinking about giving us a consequence!"

"It's expected, Padfoot! Dumbledore wasn't just talking for talking's sake!" James countered, turning to him.

"It wasn't even anything outrageous!"

"Are you really going to punish us?" Peter posited, frowning.

"Punish! Ha!" Sirius remarked, waving a hand. The Head Boy looked at Lily, frowning himself.

"This is what I need to talk to you about," he stated.

She nodded and stood up, moving away from the group with James as the boys joined the girls. Remus had not said a word during exchange but had seemed a bit uncomfortable.

"This is bothering you," the witch pointed out once they had separated from the others.

"Yes! And for more than one reason." James affirmed. He was still clutching his broom tightly in his right hand as though not entirely aware it was there.

"What's going on in your mind?"

"That we have to take seriously what Dumbledore tasked us with but knowing that I wasn't that concerned about the matter when he first brought it up. That it's my mates who did it and knowing that I don't want to follow through with anything because of that. Realizing I could've, and probably would've, been up there with them any year before this one! That Sirius thinks it's just a big joke and that I wouldn't dare do anything about it. And that… that I still am not totally comfortable as Head Boy, and knowing I just want to do my best. Live up to what people expect."

James' response had gotten quieter with each sentence and he was peering at the carpet when he had finished speaking. Lily's heart lurched at his words; he wanted to please everyone, the poor thing!

"You're torn, which is incredibly understandable James," she began kindly, "You want to do your job but you feel uncomfortable. I think a lot of that comes from your friends, though… you feel uncomfortable doing what you need to do because they haven't truly accepted your new title. They don't see you as they would any other Head Boy. And I know you're fiercely loyal to them as they are to you, but that means they should also respect what you are now."
James peered at her, reflective.

"I know it will be hard but we should let the headmaster know. And if telling him who did it is too much at first, we can just say we caught the students responsible and will give a fitting punishment. Do… do you have something in mind? A punishment?" Lily continued.

"Well, I thought five days detention would suffice. Thought of it yesterday," he muttered.

"I think that works well. It's fitting. And you can also look at it this way: it was your friends who did it but since we're giving the detentions we have to supervise them. They can't be too sore with you because it's more time you lot get to spend together."

James was beginning to smile from her words, encouraged. She was profoundly grounding for him at times, able to tenderly and effectively remove doubt and insecurity.

"You are a lifesaver, Evans," the Chaser declared, using his left hand to take Lily's right hand and bring it to his lips in order to kiss it.

"I'm here to support you; we're partners," Lily assured, smiling sweetly from his gesture, "I'll even be the bad guy and break the news to Sirius and Peter!"

"We can both be the bad guy. I kind of want to shut Sirius up!"

The couple walked back to the other seventh years, James' grip on his broom finally have relaxed.

"So are they marked for death? Beheading at dawn, perhaps?" quipped Frank.

"Not today- that'll be reserved for the next offence," the red head answered.

"But it is going to be five days detention." James supplemented, hoping he sounded resolute as he peered at his dorm mates.

"Honestly." Sirius uttered, arms crossed. His statement was a question by nature but his flat delivery of it indicated otherwise. His best friend nodded. Peter's face fell but Sirius merely stared at James, a bored, displeased expression on his face.

"You've given your first punishment as Heads!" Alice remarked.

"Yes! A cause for celebration!" Mary joked. Laughter met her ears.

"And don't be too put out, Sirius. The detentions will be under our supervision so I'm sure you three will make them seem like anything but real detention!" revealed Lily, placing a hand on his left shoulder before going back to the girls.

"At least we have that, Padfoot." Peter acknowledged, appearing more accepting of their fate. Sirius overtly rolled his eyes and then asked:

"When do they start?"

"Monday," came simultaneous replies.

"Fine. Detention with Head Boy Potter- should be riveting."

"Everything I'm involved in is riveting." James declared, striving to dissolve the small but real tension that had manifested earlier. Sirius smirked a bit.

"Only because I'm with you 93% of the time," he retorted, arms finally unlocking. The captain grinned, recognizing his best friend's displeasure had dissipated.

"Well I'm going to start on my Astronomy homework, speaking of the Tower." Remus declared, checking his watch.

"I reckon I'll join you," Frank shrugged, "James, plan on sleeping in your Quidditch uniform, mate?" The Chaser looked down at himself.

"Oh! Right. I should probably shower," he noted.

"People in your vicinity thank you." Sirius remarked. A broom's bristles then came flying at Sirius' face and he ducked out of its path, grinning,

"We'll all go up," Peter attested. He turned to the girls quickly while the boys started for their room, the banter between them picking up, "No Dorcas with you lot again, huh? She hasn't been with you all too much in general… it's not the same, her absence."

Dorcas' four friends looked at one another, surprise overtaking them as Peter shoved his way back into his friends' playful interactions.

"I will talk to her." Mary promised.


A/N: I know this is another fairly short chapter but I didn't want to end it at an odd spot. The chapters should increase in length (a bit) starting next chapter.