The Starr Chronicles
To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You'll see what's next! Enjoy the new chapter!
To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked that scene with J. Jonah Jameson's office. I thought that would be funny. Duncan getting attacked by a mob of spider monkeys? I like that idea. Thanks! Enjoy the new chapter!
To Chiomon: Hey there, Chiomon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, to be fair, in the comics, JJ used the Daily Bugle to promote civil rights and to condemn organized crime. It's true! However, the Bugle's claim to fame is trashing Spidey. Enjoy the new chapter!
To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Dude, am I that predictable? Well, JJ is not quite as torturable as Duncan or Kelly. Jameson has used the Bugle to support some good stuff in the comics. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for a new chapter of "Apokolips Deferred"!
To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! JJ's funny. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!
To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ" and I loved it! No surprise that the Hellfire Club is up to something! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok!"
Disclaimer: "I'd rather choose death."
Chapter 50: Of Mutants and Rockstars!
New York City
Lance and Todd wheeled their cart back into where they had found it. It turns out that the two boys had borrowed a real janitor's cart, and loaded their tools of the trade on it.
"That was a fun little prank, Mr. Tolensky." Lance said to the amphibian-like mutant in an even voice with a smirk.
"Oh yes. Quite enjoyable indeed, Mr. Alvers." Todd agreed in the same kind of voice. A janitor peeked around a corner.
"BABY!" He squealed, jumping on his cart. He started hugging the cart with a big grin on his face. "I'm sorry I left you alone for that agonizing half-hour! I missed you so much! I know you missed me! I promise you, I will never leave you on your own again!" The janitor hummed happily. Todd and Lance watched this with 'This-guy-is-on-drugs' looks on their faces.
"That's not right. That's…really not right." Lance shook his head.
"No kidding, yo." Todd agreed. "And I thought you pining over Kitty was pathetic."
"HEY!"
Cleveland, Ohio
"Kid Razor, I presume?" Storm asked. The young man removed his red sunglasses with the rectangular frames and black-and-white checkerboard lenses, and hung them on the front of his shirt. The face of the superpowered teenage rock guitarist formed a cocky smirk. The rainbow-colored energy field that surrounded Razor's body still was sheathed around him like a multi-colored aura.
"Kid 'Rock 'n' Roll' Razor is the name, babe. Rock 'n' Roll is the game." Razor smirked. He looked Storm over. "Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Tina Turner, babe?"
"Oh my God, man! It's Kid Razor! We're seeing him up close! This is awesome, dude!" One of the metalheads said to the other, with a big grin on his face. The other metalhead looked at Storm.
"Yeah, Razor's got a point! From this angle, you do look a little like Tina Turner, lady." The second metalhead grinned. Storm rolled her eyes.
"Oh brother…"
"Aw, no! Not him!" The Pinball Wizard moaned.
"Well, the Pinball Wizard is at it again." Razor smirked. "What's the story, you psycho Roger Daltrey-wannabe?"
"Go away, Kid Razor! I'm trying to promote the joys of pinball here!" The Pinball Wizard snapped. Razor groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
"It may just be the Kid of Rock, but the Kid of Rock thinks that you have issues. You got major troubles when it comes to pinball, pal."
"Does he alvays refer to himself in ze third person?" Kurt whispered to Sam. The human cannonball shrugged.
"You got me." Sam shrugged. "I don't really know Razor that well."
"Like, he's really weird." Kitty blinked. "That outfit is like, so totally out of style, for sure!" Kid Razor's superhuman hearing allowed him to pick up the remark. Razor turned to Kitty and smirked at her.
"Really? The Kid of Rock's out of style?" Razor smirked.
"Oh God." The Pinball Wizard groaned in frustration. He sat down on the ground, pulled out a book from his robes, and began to read. "Good thing I brought a book with me. My horoscope told me that I was going to need it." Razor crossed his arms and smirked at the brown-haired mutant girl.
"You think the Kid of Rock is out of style?" Razor smirked at Kitty. "To be honest…coming from a Valley Girl-wannabe like you…the Kid of Rock considers it a huge compliment. I never cared what the fashionistas think of the Kid of Rock, anyway."
"Jean, let's get a peek inside his mind." Scott whispered to the redhead. The telepath nodded and tried to get inside the blond super-rocker's head.
"Uhn…" Jean grunted. She tried to enter Razor's mind, but… "I got Bon Jovi now running in my head!" Razor noticed and smirked.
"Ah, the forcefield, Red." Razor smirked. "Sorry, babe. My forcefield says, 'No Entry Allowed'."
"We did not come here to fight you, Kid Razor." Storm said. Razor raised an eyebrow at Storm.
"The Kid of Rock wishes to shag you, so he'll let you speak." Razor pointed at Storm like a king pointing at a peasant.
"Man, this guy is arrogant." Scott groaned.
"You're telling me." The Pinball Wizard piped up. "Man punked out the Fantastic Four. He once called Reed Richards a joke."
"We came to investigate rumors of a mutant community in Cleveland. We are the X-Men."
"X-Men?" Razor crossed his arms. He sneered at the mutants. "The Kid of Rock is not impressed. More super-clowns from New York. Just what the Kid of Rock needs." He sneered at Scott. "What's with him? Never seen a rockstar before?"
"Uhm…well…" Scott started.
"Shut up!" Razor snapped at Scott. "Kid of Rock sees or hears you talking again, the Kid of Rock will smack you like a red-headed stepchild!" He quickly turned to Jean. "No offense. But first…" Razor looked at the Pinball Wizard. He plucked a string on his guitar and fired a rainbow-colored blast of energy at the mad pinball freak.
"WAH!" The Pinball Wizard screamed as the beam hit him in the face, knocking him into a wall, and into next year. "Mommy, I wanna go back to bed…"
"That dealt with that idiot…" Razor muttered. He turned to the X-Men. "Mutant community. No mutant communities in Cleveland…there is a district."
"A district?" Storm's jaw dropped.
"Yeah. Cleveland's known about mutants for some time." Razor shrugged nonchalantly. "The Yeager District. We call it Little Mutant-Town. It's kinda like Chinatown."
"A district? A district?" Jean asked in shock. Razor shrugged.
"Yeah. Doesn't every city have a Yeager District?" Razor grinned. "If you X-Men are so interested, come on. I'll show you." Razor got ready to take to the air again. "Follow the Kid of Ro-AIE!" The blur that earlier escaped from the X-Jet slammed hard into Razor.
"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!" Jubilation Lee squealed as she glomped tightly onto Kid Razor (A/N: Sorry Metal Dragoon! This part was too funny not to borrow).
"Who are you?" Razor blinked.
"JUBILEE!" Scott groaned. "I should've known!"
"Jubilee?" Razor blinked. He looked down at the dark-haired girl clamped on to him. "Hey! You're the loony who sends the Kid of Rock all those letters!"
"You got them?" Jubilee asked with a wide grin. Razor rolled his eyes.
"One of yours?" Razor quipped at the X-Men.
"Ha ha! You suck, Razor!" A blue-haired man in jeans and a white "Everyone sucks but me" shirt yelled at Razor from a sidewalk. The Kid of Rock glared at the man.
"Shut up Larry! No one likes you!" Razor snapped. Jubilee blasted him with fireworks.
Bayville Pet Store
Duncan walked into the pet store, a little nervous. Last time he went to a pet store, the animals attacked him. He noticed a display.
"Spider monkeys. Cool." Duncan grinned. "I just may get one." An employee walked up to the jock.
"Can I help you, sir?" The employee asked. Duncan smirked.
"Yeah, I want to buy some feeder rats for my snake." Duncan replied.
"Right this way." The employee helped Duncan find some rats. Duncan bought one, considering snakes didn't need to eat that often.
"Thanks a lot." Duncan thanked. He was just about to leave, when… "ARGH!" He got attacked by a bunch of spider monkeys that somehow escaped from their cage. "HELP ME! BAD MONKEYS! OW HELP ME MOMMY! OW! MAMA!"
Downtown Bayville
Principal Kelly was standing on a sidewalk in front of a marked crossing area, reading a newspaper. He was extremely engrossed in reading the news events. He glanced up at the crossing light. It turned green, indicating that it was safe to cross. Kelly put his head back into his paper, and started to cross the street. However, he really should've watched where he was going.
"Hey, pork prices have gone up…" Kelly mumbled. Since he wasn't watching where he was going, he walked towards an open manhole. With a scream, the hapless principal fell in. "How did I get here?" He exclaimed. He then heard noises. Growling noises. "What the…? Are those…crocodiles? Hey! Wait! What the-! Down! Nice crocs!" Thrashing was suddenly heard. "AAAAAAAGH! OW! MOMMY! HELP!"
Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men got quite a surprise! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen at the Yeager District? Who else will the X-Men meet? And will Kid Razor make Cyclops look like an idiot? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
