Content warning: lemon, m/f
Angina/Symphony
Chapter 55
The Missing Heart of Las Noches
I relinquish to your powers
From your grasp I just can't hide
Missed the danger
I had to conquer
You make me feel alive.
They say I have to be aware
That one day you won't let me go
(I'll drown, you'll take me down)
I need you, Aquarius
Enchanted, I will have to stay.
-Aquarius, Within Temptation
Rei's eyes opened, and she stretched. Every muscle in her body felt strained. Almost immediately she felt bruising soreness between her legs, and deep inside her as well.
She had slept with him.
She had slept with Aizen Sousuke, and it had been utterly, indescribably, blissfully wonderful.
Rei remembered with a mixture of amusement and scorn what her mother had had to say about sex. Amane Julia had said on more than one occasion that Rei's heart condition was a blessing in disguise, keeping her away from the attentions of boys and men. She had said that sex was something shameful and dirty when done outside of marriage.
Rei was glad Sousuke had proved her mother a liar. Although that wasn't entirely correct. She and Sousuke hadn't done anything as common, or mundane, as have sex.
Her Lord Aizen had made love to her, lovemaking that was as perfect and exquisite and beautiful as he was. He had taken her to heaven and back.
No, that was wrong. Even lying here, sleepy and more than a little tired from the night before, she still felt as if she were floating on a cloud in heaven.
Rei could still feel the aftermath of it. She felt sore and achy, and very tender between her legs, and she could see the raised red bite mark on her right breast near her nipple. She saw the stark darkness of a blood spot on the sheets next to her thigh, and realised her virginity was well and truly gone.
You…pleased me thoroughly.
The memory, along with the thought that she, Amane Rei, had managed to please someone much older and many times more experienced than her in bed, gave her a thrill of delight.
The sheets still carried the warmth of his body where he'd been lying next to her.
Where was he, exactly?
Rei started, fully awake, only realising later that she could see light coming out from underneath the bathroom door adjoining to his bedroom. She could feel his reiatsu too, the strength and power of it encompassing her own even through the door. That made her stretch like a cat, sighing as she did it.
There was something restricting her left arm. Rei looked down, and blinked. It was an armband with a wooden badge on it, some sort of insignia. It took her a few moments to recognise the kanji, the lily-of-the-valley carved just below it.
'The Gotei 13. The Fifth Division,' she whispered to herself.
Rei was confused, to say the least. Then the bathroom door opened, and a tingle of heat went through her. Rei sat up against the pillow, the sheets falling away from her body. She was expecting to see her Sousuke, perhaps - hopefully - naked again with that sharp dancing smile on his face.
What she saw was the man with glasses, the dead man in her dream, very much alive. Rei started, seeing the almost-apologetic look on his kind schoolteacher's face, pulling the bed sheets over herself hurriedly. Then she looked closer, catching the familiarity in his face.
The eyes flashed behind the square-framed spectacles, dancing in amusement. The man smiled. He was obviously about to shower. The lower half of his body was covered with a white towel wrapped around his waist, starting just below his hipbones and ending just above his knees.
Sousuke's legs were just as Rei remembered them, long and muscular. She sighed in appreciation, her body forgetting its soreness.
'Good morning, my dear.' Sousuke laughed, probably at the way Rei knew she was undressing him with her eyes. 'Did you sleep well?'
'Yes, thank you,' she replied.
'Aren't you going to ask me about the badge on your arm, Renata?' Sousuke leaned against the frame of the bathroom door, hair haloed from behind. 'I'm sure you're curious as to what it is.'
Rei raised her left arm. 'I know what it is,' she said. 'It's the lieutenant's insignia for the Fifth Division of the Gotei 13. Your old division.' She narrowed her eyes at him. 'But I'm hardly your subordinate.'
'Hardly.' Sousuke raised an eyebrow. 'And I can assure you that I am hardly in need of glasses. In fact, I have perfect vision. This -' he gestured to his drastically changed appearance - 'is how I chose to appear during my time as a Gotei captain.'
'Interesting,' Rei noted. 'But a little out of left field.'
The wicked smile appeared on his face. It should have been incongruous beneath the glasses and deceptively kindly expression. Instead, it excited Rei, the face of a wolf in sheep's clothing - her wolf in sheep's clothing.
'I decided that we would spend this morning furthering your education, my dear.' Rei looked down, noticing that the sheets had fallen away from her again, and felt heat shiver through her at the look on his face. 'I will admit I am being slightly selfish, in beginning with this - shall we call it an indulgence? - of mine.' Sousuke smirked. The glasses did nothing to conceal the sharp hungry look in his eyes, and there was certainly nothing innocent about the way he licked his lips as he looked over her body. 'May I ask that you call me Aizen-taicho from this point forward?'
Rei smiled, stepping out of bed. She was standing across the room from him, completely naked except the lieutenant's insignia on her arm. 'As long as at some point,' she said, returning his smirk, 'you let me be on top.'
'But of course, my dear. It would be my pleasure.' Sousuke extended an arm, beckoning her forward with the dark smile still on his face. 'Now - I have need of my lieutenant. Will you attend me in the bathroom?'
Rei bowed, watching his eyes linger on her legs. 'Yes, Aizen-taicho,' she replied, in the lowered, demure voice she imagined Hinamori Momo would have used. She heard his chuckle as she followed him into the lit room, felt him press her against the cool white wall almost instantly. The air was clouded with steam, the shower running hot less than a metre away from them.
Sousuke paused for a moment to look down at her, eyes no less beautiful through his glasses. He smiled that kindly smile, then his mouth was on hers. He was kissing her hard, tongue dominating hers into submission, and Rei gave way to him. Her knees weakened, and she was grateful he was holding her there by the shoulders. She knew she was trembling at the knowledge of what was coming. It was anticipation and longing and the barest hint of nervousness, all rolled into one.
Sousuke stopped the kiss. 'You seem alarmed, Amane-fukutaicho. Did I startle you?'
Rei caught her breath. 'Captain,' she murmured, letting a little hesitancy creep into her voice. 'I - don't think this is appropriate.'
Sousuke kissed her forehead, almost tenderly. 'Oh, Amane-chan. I know I don't frighten you.' Rei could hear the dark sense of dominance in his voice, and shivered with anticipation. 'I know very well that you don't mean - or want - to push me away.'
Rei licked her lower lip, watching his eyes move to her mouth and feeling her own perverse sense of domination with it. 'When did you know?' she asked, fabricating fear this time. 'Will you have me thrown out of your division?'
'I've always known. You've made it very obvious, Amane-fukutaicho. And you are very much correct.' Sousuke moved his head down, breathing against her neck. 'Desiring your captain is definitely not appropriate for a seated officer.'
'What are you going to do to me?'
'I think you know very well what I'm going to do to you.' Sousuke laughed, the hand on her right shoulder moving down her body. His fingers were between her legs again, moving slowly at first. Rei let out a long, loud, pleased groan. 'I've never done this before, Aizen-taicho,' she gasped, hearing him laugh again at that. 'Will it h-hurt?'
'As much as you want it to, Amane-chan.' Sousuke's mouth, warm and harsh and bruising, was kissing her throat now. Rei could feel the tip of his tongue, tracing the unsaid profanities in her mouth on the surface of her easily broken skin.
Fuck me, she thought, feeling the dark thrill that accompanied the words. Fuck me, Aizen-taicho.
Rei wondered with brief amusement whether Hinamori Momo, who by all accounts had adored her superior, had ever thought those same words. Then all thought, and amusement with it, was gone. His fingers moved in and out of her, and Rei felt herself growing hot and aroused. She arched her back against the wall, wanting him inside her already.
Sousuke was kissing her breasts, moving from one to the other and then back again. His silver tongue danced over her skin, licking over her collarbone and then her left nipple. He kept teasing her with his fingers, making Rei jerk her hips forward and cry out. 'Aizen-taicho -'
'I think that's enough waiting, don't you?' Sousuke laughed. He lifted her, pressing her to his chest again, glasses misted up with the steam in the room. The muscles in Rei's body no longer felt tired but instead alive and tingling with anticipation, need even. Her face was buried in his bare shoulder, and she kissed it, daring to nip the skin with her teeth.
Sousuke stepped into the shower, under the stream of hot water, the towel still around his waist. He set her down, kissing her only briefly before speaking again. 'Undress your captain,' he told her.
Rei took the opportunity to tease him, trailing her fingers down the wet skin of his chest. She marvelled again at his beauty, wondered how his lieutenant had been able to resist throwing herself at him. As her fingertips explored the muscles in his abdomen, circling his navel, she felt momentarily undeserving. Even in his captain's disguise, he was a god. But then she saw the impatient desire in his face and eyes, heard the huskiness in his voice when he spoke.
'Amane-fukutaicho. I gave you an order.'
Rei didn't hesitate obeying any longer. The towel offered little resistance to her hands. It fell away, and she took in Sousuke's nakedness with her eyes.
Rei could remember seeing him undressed for the first time, feeling herself flush with shyness and wonder. He had looked almost mythical, silhouetted in moonlight, not quite real.
Rivulets of water trickled down his hipbones, down the inside of his thighs. Again, Rei stared with innate curiosity at his erection. She ran her fingers along his length, closing her hand around him, wondering how he had ever managed to fit inside her. His skin felt hot, the same aroused heat currently residing between her own legs.
She looked up, seeing the slow amused smile on Sousuke's handsome face. Looking directly at him, Rei licked her lips, gliding her left hand in one long swift motion along his cock. She saw him shudder, saw his eyes flash in impatience behind the water running over his glasses.
With that, he pressed her up against the wall, hands moving her legs either side of his waist. Hot water ran over Rei's back and hips, and she felt Sousuke push hard into her.
She cried out, in equal parts pain and pleasure. Even the pain wasn't a discomfort to her. Rei liked that he didn't feel the need to be gentle. She liked knowing that he was letting himself go, loved knowing that she had made him lose that last semblance of control. Sousuke pressed his mouth to hers in another one of those harsh demanding kisses. Rei knew that this time would be harder and swifter than her first, more intense.
She whimpered when he let her mouth go. 'Captain -'
Sousuke's dark laughter felt as if it were echoing, above and below her.
His darkness and her darkness were merging with one another. If it was possible, his lovemaking was even better this way than it had been the night before. Rei felt less passive in this position. She wrapped her arms around his back, one of them knotting itself in his damp hair, and anchored her thighs onto his hips. She thrust forward onto him and felt him breathe out, matching her thrust with another harder one of his own.
Her face was pressed into his neck then, and she almost forgot how to breathe. For her, who had always feared drowning above anything else, it was a miracle. Rei wanted to drown in Sousuke. As she finally came, and felt him join her, his entire body tensing with the pleasure and ecstasy of it, Rei thought that she would have been quite happy to end her life there and then.
Then she remembered that if she stopped living, she would be unable to have him in any way at all. There was no way Aizen Sousuke could exist in the afterlife in any place that wasn't heaven, and Rei sensed she wasn't likely to end up there after she died.
Rei looked up at him and giggled. The glasses were slipping down his nose, the lenses so misted up it would have been impossible for him to see through them anyway. Sousuke set her on her feet, pulling the glasses off his face and throwing them onto the bathroom floor. He smiled then, wet hair still hanging in his eyes. That made Rei want him all over again.
She unfastened her lieutenant's insignia with difficulty, letting it fall next to his glasses. Her hand skimmed his forehead, waiting for him to grant permission. Sousuke nodded and Rei pushed his hair back, that one strand falling into place to the left of his nose. He bundled her in one of the lush white towels, and began to work it over her skin, rubbing her dry. Rei giggled again as he pressed his fingers into her ribs, moving up to pay close attention to her breasts. He unwrapped her and moved to dry himself off, but Rei stopped him. She took the towel from him and moved her hands to his shoulders and neck, brushing away the droplets on his lovely flushed skin. 'Let me serve you, Aizen-taicho,' she breathed, and smiled as she looked down. She hadn't missed that he'd gotten hard again at her calling him Aizen-taicho.
'You did that rather well, my dear,' he told her. 'I must say, you - got into character - far more than Gin has ever been inclined to do.' He scooped her into his arms and lifted her, carrying her through the bathroom door.
'I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. I was playing your subordinate,' Rei responded wryly as he set her on the bed. 'That was your old insignia, wasn't it?'
'Yes. And it was Gin's after me.' Sousuke lay down next to her. Rei couldn't stop herself from kissing him, just once and lightly, on the lips. Even beautiful seemed like the wrong word for him now. He really did look like a god, naked next to her with droplets of water still frosting his hair and the bridge of his nose.
Rei thought then - suddenly and incongruously - of Amane Julia, and heard herself giggle again.
'Do I amuse you, Renata?' he asked her.
Rei shook her head. 'I was just thinking -' It seemed almost too funny to tell him then. 'About what my mother would say if she could see me now.'
Sousuke's laugh was as musical as his piano piece had been the night before. 'Tell me. What would your mother say?'
Rei smiled. 'Nothing worth paying attention to. Nothing she ever said was.'
'It astonishes me,' Sousuke said, brushing a strand of wet hair off her shoulder, 'that this woman conceived you.' He smirked. 'I take it your mother would disapprove of what I plan to spend the rest of the day doing to her daughter.'
Heat slowly flushed through Rei at that. 'Well, that depends,' she said. 'What are you planning to do to me?'
Sousuke chuckled, rolling on top of her. 'As I said before, I think you know very well what I'm going to do to you.'
Rei lay back on the bed and gave into him. Even when they made love, Sousuke's wit never abandoned him, and Rei could always find a response for anything he said to her. She wondered if it had been the same with all his partners, and then rejected the notion.
She knew she was unique to him now. That was what allowed her to lie in his arms, all her body's secrets exposed to him, letting him do anything and everything he wanted.
After all, his wants matched hers.
By the time she finally left his room, Rei had no concept of how much time had passed. She wondered for a moment how long it would take her to adjust to normal time again, and laughed quietly to herself.
She could smell him in her hair, on her skin, in her. Rei walked at a leisurely pace back to her room, the thought that she had lost her virginity several times over never losing its novelty.
She imagined who it would have been if she'd never met Sousuke, if it ever would have happened before she was in her thirties. Would her parents have ever let her go to university, live away from home? Would she have gone home with another student one night just to get it over with?
Whoever it was definitely wouldn't have had Sousuke's skill, his perfect body, his knowledge of what would please and frustrate her. Rei sighed. He had, after all, had over two centuries to perfect his prowess in bed.
She turned a corner, leaning to the side a little, and winced. She could feel the soreness more if she walked a certain way. In its own way, that pleased her. Sousuke had marked her body in an invisible place, claiming her as his.
Rei blushed, jerked out of her reverie by the sight of a figure in white standing not too far away from her.
The blonde woman bowed, her words muffled by the white uniform covering her nose and mouth. 'Amane-dono. I need to speak to you.'
Rei pulled her cloak more tightly about herself. 'Harribel-san,' she greeted the Third Espada, feeling more than a little self-conscious. 'I'm very sorry, but now isn't really a good time. Can I see you later?'
Whatever response she'd expected, it wasn't the one she got.
'Are you on your way to Aizen-sama?' Harribel's tone was blunt, her green eyes startlingly forward.
Rei shook her head. 'No,' she said truthfully. 'Why do you ask?'
'Come closer, Amane-dono. There's something I have to show you.' Rei hesitated before complying. Harribel raised a hand to her face, unzipping the uniform she wore. For a moment, Rei expected some sort of horrible deformity. Then she saw the mask obscuring part of the Arrancar woman's jaw, and relaxed.
'Do you see?' Harribel asked her. Rei realised she was pointing at a long, pale line on her throat. Looking closer, she realised it was a scar.
That was surprising. 'But - your Hierro,' Rei said, poising it as a question. Ichimaru had explained that to her, even though he hadn't described each Espada's powers individually.
'He is strong.'
Harribel's green eyes bored into her, and Rei felt unusually slow. There was something she was missing.
'I could have healed myself with the limited regeneration powers I had after Aizen-sama made me into an Espada. It was only a shallow cut for me, even though it would have severely injured a human.' Harribel's voice was toneless. 'He did not allow me to.'
Rei realised, with a start, what the Tres Espada was talking about.
Harribel continued speaking. 'Has he asked you already, Amane-dono? To - what do you humans call it - to have sexual intercourse with him?'
Rei felt herself reddening violently. She didn't know how to say it, didn't know what to do to get herself out of this horribly awkward situation.
'He did it to me. He was -' Harribel paused. 'Not gentle.' She looked away from Rei then.
It's as awful for her, standing there and telling me this, as it is for me to hear it, Rei thought. She understood what Harribel was trying to do, knew the risk the Arrancar woman was running, and for the first time since arriving in Las Noches, she felt pity.
'I'm very sorry,' she repeated. 'I know you're trying to help me, I do. And I appreciate it. But -'
'It's too late,' Harribel finished, expressionless again. 'You've given yourself to Aizen-sama.'
Rei nodded. 'It didn't hurt at all,' she lied. 'He was very careful with me. He was very - considerate. I think he wanted me to enjoy it.'
That part, at least, wasn't a lie.
Harribel bowed, but Rei saw her eyes. There was something like desperation in them. 'Then that - is what's important.' Her voice was low. 'Even so - you must realize you can no longer say no to him.'
With that, Rei's pity began to fade away. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a male silhouette, a crown of blue hair. Grimmjow was watching. It wasn't too hard to guess what he stood to gain from all of this, and that made her angry more than anything.
'You all think I'm stupid, don't you?' she burst out, forgetting herself. 'You think that it's only a matter of time before your Aizen-sama decides to throw me away. As far as you're concerned, my feelings are just bloody-minded stubbornness.'
Harribel didn't react to her explosion, which Rei knew hadn't just been directed at the Tres Espada. 'No, Amane-dono.' She sounded almost gentle. 'You are our leader. To us, you are anything but stupid. That's why we seek to protect you.' She turned away. 'Goodnight, Queen of Las Noches.' She disappeared in a Sonido, and Rei looked back to where she thought she'd seen Grimmjow.
He was gone.
