(Yes, she's sick. She's she's getting worse, but we will not publish her dying. So please calm down. Keep reading)
Chapter 10
Waking up tangled with her wife and kids would always be the happiest time of day for Quinn. She burrowed in the warm nest, breathing the clean scent of their son's hair with a smile as she let the warmth soak all the way down into her bones. She didn't open her eyes, just laid there with her arm draped over her son and resting on her wife's arm as she held their daughter and listened to the quiet rhythms of their breathing. It was times like this that felt like forever was in reach and she carefully saved them, storing them away like precious gems.
She didn't want to wake up and face the day, but she blinked her eyes open only to smile when she saw Santana looking back at her. The slightly sleep tousled, quiet love in that woman's eyes would always be worth opening her eyes for. "Hi, baby," she whispered, slipping her fingers into her wife's and squeezing gently. "How'd you sleep?"
"As well as can be expected," Santana whispered, the tell tale roughness in her voice alluding to the fact she was crying during her waking moments. "How about you?"
"As well as can be expected," Quinn replied, keeping her voice soft to avoid waking the children and leaning over to kiss her wife softly, "but I woke up here with you, so I feel better now." She offered Santana the soft, lopsided smile that she only showed the other woman, "I'm not going anywhere, baby. Would it make you feel better to look at the donor profiles today? I can bring the laptop in here so you can cuddle with our kids while we look if you want."
"That sounds nice." Santana smiled softly as she smoothed down Grace's hair. "Since I'm Grace's pillow right now." She smiled as she saw Chien reach out for his sister in his sleep.
"You're kind of amazingly comfy like that," she teased, leaning in to kiss her again with a little smirk. "I'll be right back."
Crawling carefully out of bed and watching as Chien whimpered softly at the loss of her warmth at his back and cuddled closer into Santana in his sleep, she smiled at Santana and left the room. Padding down the hall to the computer room, she picked up the laptop from its dock and paused to jot a little note to her wife about how much she loved her and slipping it into the pencil drawer where she knew Santana would find it. Smiling, she slipped back down the hall to the bedroom and climbed back into bed.
"See? Not long at all," she whispered with a wink as she opened the laptop and started booting it up.
"Yeah, you're quick." Santana teased, "now come back here and cuddle."
Quinn laughed softly and snuggled into Santana's side having crawled into the other side of the bed to not disturb Chien as he was cuddling into his momma's side. The laptop open on her stomach lit her features with a soft glow as she rested her head on Santana's shoulder. "I like this," she whispered, rolling her head to glance up at Santana with a soft smile as the donor bank's site loaded up, "being here with you and them like this."
"Me too." She smiled, "Feels right."
"Mmm." Quinn murmured softly, logging onto the site that she'd purchased a membership to when Santana had told her she wanted to start towards their baby as soon as the adoption of Grace and Chien were finalized. "Okay, so," she typed a couple of things into fields, blushing slightly and not looking at Santana in fear of being teased as she spoke, "you can think this is entirely ridiculous if you want, but I want a Puerto Rician donor. I want someone who looks as much like you as possible."
She smiled, "Maybe he'll be half black too."
"Maybe," Quinn smiled up at her, snuggling close as she keyed in things they wanted. "You never know after all. Can you imagine what a kid made up of me and you would look like? Doubtless they'd be a little hell on wheels from their momma," she teased, squeezing Santana's hand.
"Of course, since you are quite the trouble maker." Santana smirked as she kissed her wife's cheek. "What are we looking for in sperm?"
Quinn laughed, "I was referring to you. goof. But smart and athletic, like us at least."
"I like that." She said, "You are quite the trouble maker though, Q." She smiled, "It's why I love you."
"Hey, since when am I the trouble maker?" Quinn teased, "You're the one that always got us into trouble!"
"This is very true." She smiled, "but you like it."
"love it," she corrected, leaning in to kiss her. "That's why I married you. Now come on, we've got babies to make here."
"Babies?" Chien asked, blinking groggily as he rested his chin on Santana's chest, peering over Grace's back.
"Mmmhm," Santana said as she ran a hand through his hair. "We're looking up people to help us make a baby."
He rubbed his eyes with a sleepy yawn, "Oh? For Mea's baby? I get to help?"
"That's right, sweetie," Quinn smiled over at him, loving being able to share the moment with her entire family - even if Grace was still sleeping in Santana's arms.
"Good," he mumbled, "Rosa didn't get to pick. It's better to pick." He leaned up and kissed Santana's cheek, "Hi, Momma. Time to pick who helps make Mea's baby now, right?"
"Who's Rosa, buddy?" Santana asked softly as she helped him crawl over Grace and settle between them. She remembered back to her own child that she aborted all those years ago, that she didn't get to choose who it belonged to; so she knew her son was right. Picking was better.
"Baby-Grace's momma," he replied absently, watching what Quinn was doing as she scrolled through the list of potential donors. "She was bigger than me a little, but she went to sleep after Baby-Grace was borned and the bad men took her away."
"Oh." Santana said, "I'm sure she'd be happy you took care of Grace for her." She said as she rubbed his back.
He shrugged, "She was nice to me. I'm sad she didn't get to meet Baby-Grace or you and Mea."
Quinn bit her lip as she listened to Chien's story, "Me too, sweetie. Here, let's look at some pictures and then tomorrow we can go and light a candle at church for Rosa, okay?"
"Okay Mae." Chien nodded and rested his head on Quinn's shoulder before his eyes roamed over the page. "How choose?" He asked as he looked to his mom's. "Lots of pictures."
"There are. I guess we look for someone like me? Who could look like me and maybe has some characteristics like me?" Santana offered.
He nodded, looking at the pictures intently. After a bit, he tapped on the screen. "Him? Kinda looks like you, Momma. His hair's like yours. It looks soft."
"Cute nose like your momma's too," Quinn teased, kissing the top of his head. "But his face is too round, see? Look how big his chin is."
"Big chin." Chien nodded, "Too big for baby, Momma. No pick him." He said as he looked at the screen again. "Momma likes animals, do the person like animals?"
"I don't know, let's see if it says," Quinn mused softly, scrolling down to the relevant section of the new profile Chien showed interest in. "Hmm, I'm not sure. It says he likes fishing and hiking though. Maybe he likes animals too."
"He's kinda pretty for a boy." Chien commented, "Skin looks soft like Momma and he had nice happy looking eyes." Chien smiled, "Not scary looking."
"That's good. Don't want a scary little baby do we?" Santana remarked as she ran her hand up and down Grace's back. "Grace also sleeps like no one I've every met," she smiled at the girl who was still dead asleep.
Grace murmured quietly in her sleep, snuggling a little closer with a sleepy "Momma". Quinn laughed softly, "That's because you've never been introduced to yourself. She sleeps like her Momma does," she teased, "only kisses and scary things wake her up."
Chien grinned, "Kisses are better for wake ups than scary things. I like waking Baby-Grace and Momma up with cheek kisses."
"Let's not wake the little cranky pants up." Santana smiled and hugged her daughter. "How goes the baby picking, Che?"
"Not picking the baby Momma," Chien made a face at his mom, "picking a good man to give Doctor Kelly stuff to help iMea/i make the baby."
Quinn laughed, leaning over to kiss Santana. "He's got a point, love," she teased.
"This is true." She smiled, "Any good choices?" she looked over, "Like anyone?"
"I like him," Chien pointed at the man on the screen. "He looks like Momma but as a boy and he likes outside stuff like Momma does. And he's not sick at all." He pointed at all the check boxes in the no part of the medical history list for his family. "So makes good healthy baby like Baby-Grace."
"Hmm," Quinn murmured softly, "He's small for a guy too. Only five seven. And athletic... what do you think, baby?"
"I think if you and Chien approve, we have ourselves a donor." She smiled and kissed her wife, "What do you think? Wanna carry his baby, chosen by Chien, but really my baby?"
"iOur/i baby," she corrected, smiling up at Santana and snuggling into her. She wrapped an arm around Chien and hugged him. "All of ours. The way it should be."
"I like it." She smiled. grace raised her sleep mussed head and blinked her dark eyes.
"Baby?" she said groggily, her little fist coming up to rub her eyes and look around. "Awake?"
"Hi, Baby-Grace," Chien whispered, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "We picked who's gonna help Mea make a baby. Wanna see?"
Quinn just smiled indulgently and let him turn the laptop so Grace could see the man smillng on the screen. "It'll be a while before there's a baby, Gracie, but your momma and I want to give you and Chien a little brother or sister."
"More." She smiled, "Brother." She tapped her fist to her mouth and nodded, "Baby." She said before nuzzling Santana's neck, "Momma. Warms."
"Alright my little baby monkey." Santana laughed, "You're a sleepy girl today."
"Sleeps," she nodded with a happy smile. "Love."
Quinn laughed, "I think someone got worn out by all the excitement earlier. We should probably get up though. She needs to do her evening exercises and I bet Jack would like to play with his favorite boy, hmm, Chien?"
"Okay," Chien smiled and got up and stretched, "I get up." He got out of the bed and padded to the bathroom. Santana pressed kissed to her daughter's head and tickled her until she wiggled into Quinn's arms.
"Mae! Momma! Tickles!" Grace giggled, snuggling into Quinn.
"Yes, she gave you lots of tickles, baby," Quinn smiled, picking her up and setting her carefully on the floor after a hug. "Show Momma what you've been practicing with Che and me, okay baby?"
Grace looked up at her with a happy smile, crawling around to Santana's side of the bed and pulling herself up to stand shakily, tightly gripping the edge of the bed. "Momma!" she laughed, smacking the bed and waving at Santana with one hand while the other held on to the blankets. "Momma!"
"Well look at you, my big girl!" Santana exclaimed, "You stood up and crawled, i'm so proud of you." Santana exclaimed as she picked her up and hugged her and kissed her face. "I love you so much."
"Love," Grace laughed, holding onto Santana's face and kissing her back, "Love!"
Quinn watched with a soft smile, "She's been working hard to do that. She's not quite up to walking yet, but her and Chien are working on it together. She's gonna be a little terror when she starts running."
"Terror!" Grace chortled, leaning in to blow a wet raspberry on Santana's cheek with a grin.
"ewwww..." Santana joked, "Baby slobber!" She smiled and rolled out of bed and held Grace. "I think we should have pizza for dinner... What do you think, Quinn?"
"I think that sounds greasy, kind of gross, very fattening and otherwise absolutely perfect," she grinned. "I think I'd rather make it than order though. Unless you want to go pick it up? Or do you think everyone's up to going out? We could rent a movie or go see one if you want."
"I think we can make it here, that way it's not to crunchy for the kids." Santana said as she shifted Grace on her hip. "I'm in need of fattening today... I don't really wanna watch my weight right now."
"Mmm, I like the sound of that, but I'm adding a salad to the menu anyway," Quinn teased, kissing her nose. "Too much fat and grease without greens and we're both gonna be up all night with heartburn. But how would you feel about some strawberry shortcake for dessert after? I can make the shortcakes if you'll slice and sugar the strawberries while the pizza dough is rising."
"Sounds tasty." Santana smiled and watched at Grace clapped.
"yummy, Yummy!" she exclaimed, her little hands clapping together as Chien came out. "Che-Che. Tasty! Berrys!"
"We having berrys?" He asked as he cocked his head to the side.
"Strawberries," Quinn explained, ruffling his hair. "With shortcake for dessert. Do you want to help me make pizza tonight?"
"Yes, please." He smiled, "But... Mae... cheese makes my tummy hurts." he pouted, "I can still have?"
"We'll make you a special Chien only pizza with no cheese, how about that?" Quinn asked, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "We can fold it in half and make a special pocket pizza with your favorite toppings just for you."
"Still yummy like Baby-Grace's pizza?" He asked, "cause I like yummy better than no yummy." he pouted and looked at his mom.
"Still yummy," she nodded, smiling at him as she took his hand to head down to the kitchen. "Just no cheese. If you want cheese, we can put a little in, but only a little so you don't get sick from it, okay?"
"Okay... I like that." he smiled and bounced after her as she headed to go make dinner.
Santana laid with Grace and Chien in their bed. They were cuddled up together under the blankets and listening to their mom read them a story before bed.
"Momma?" Grace said softly as she cuddled with her stuffed bunny. "Love. Lots?"
"Of course I love you lots, baby." She smiled and kissed her daughter's head, "You're my daughter and son." Chien smiled and cuddled his sister.
"We go play with Pony tomorrow, Momma?" He asked softly as he let a yawn slip out. "Mae has lots of work and I teach Baby-Grace to know colors."
"Want to have class outside? We can do that." She smiled and kissed him. "Now, lets get you two to dream land."
"Not tired, Momma," Chien tried hiding his yawn but failed. "Can I stay up with you and Mea?"
"Sorry little man," Santana said softly, "Need to recharge your batteries by sleeping. You need to help me keep up with Energizer Bunny-Grace."
He laughed and cuddled with his sister who was already mostly asleep. "Bunny-Grace," he yawned, "I like it. She's my little bunny, Momma."
"Mmhm." She smiled, "Little bunny Gracie. Hopping through the forest..." She sang softly, once she finished she leaned over and gently kissed both of their heads. "Te amo. I love you so much." She whispered and carefully got out of bed and tucked them in before turning on their night light.
"'Night, Momma," he mumbled softly, already well on his way to sleep as she shut the door behind them.
"Sweet dreams." she whispered before pulling the door mostly closed and heading down the hall. She flopped down on the couch and sighed, "Gremlins are asleep." she called to her wife.
Quinn came in from where she'd been cleaning up in the kitchen, drying her hands on the towel as she smirked at her wife. "You look happy," she commented, tossing the towel at the laundry hamper and dropping down on the couch next to her wife, slipping an arm behind her back. "Being a mom suits you."
"I like it." She smiled, "I used to take care of the kids when I was Che's age and younger too." She said, "I like them. They exhaust me but they are so amazing."
"Well, I love them," Quinn teased, kissing her cheek, "and aren't kids supposed to exhaust their parents? God, isn't it amazing that we're actually parents?" She rested her head on Santana's shoulder, hugging her close. "I'm glad we got here, San."
"Me too." she said softly, "We have kids who have toys all over, who pee the bed, and wake us up at all hours." Santana smiled, "To thinks it's only been six months."
Quinn laughed. "Wait until our baby is here," she whispered, "you think we're not sleeping inow/i?"
"This is true." she smiled, "Maybe me, Chien and Grace and the baby can wake up hungry or with night terrors at the same time." she half joked.
"More like you'll all just wake me up one after the other," she teased, turning her head to press a gentle kiss to the corner of Santana's jaw. "Good thing I love all of you more than anything else in this world."
Santana smiled and kissed her wife. "Since you get to be the baby factory for a few months I can handle the getting up with him or her in the night. It's not like I can sleep a full night anyway."
"No way am I letting you do that all by yourself," Quinn smirked. "Besides, I'm sure I can find ways to keep iyou/i up at night if it comes to it," she added, nipping at her earlobe.
"Tease," Santana whimpered as she let her hand slid down to Quinn's ass. "You would try, despite the fact our children would be scarred for life to walk in on us screwing."
Quinn laughed, "Our door has a lock on it from when it was Cindy and Becca's room. Just because we never use it doesn't mean we can't, but we'll have to unlock it before we sleep so the kids won't freak out."
Santana thought for a moment, "and remember to put clothing back on." She reminded her wife. "Remember that time in college? Then when I moved in..." She smirked.
"Poor Amanda," she giggled, fingers slipping under the hem of Santana's shirt to tease at her stomach. "I don't think that boyfriend lasted a week though he sure didn't seem to mind. iI/i minded the way he was staring at your tits though. Those are imine/i," she growled softly in Santana's ear.
"Which is funny because I only wore your sweatshirt 99% of the time." Santana smiled, "He just liked gay ladies in the next bed."
"Yeah, he was an ass. I was glad she kicked him out," she ran her tongue lightly along the line of her lover's jaw, "especially after he tried suggesting a foursome when you came back from class." She laughed softly, "I think I almost broke his jaw."
"That was sexy." Santana shivered as her hand moved up to stroke the skin under Quinn's ear.
Quinn slid an arm under Santana's legs and pulled her into a bridal carry. "As sexy as me carrying my wife to bed and taking the time to show her just how very, very much I love her right now?" she asked as she stood, smiling down at the girl in her arms.
"Your ear has always been your fuck me button," she smirked as she pressed kisses down her wife's neck. "How are you going to show me?"
"You're the only one who's ever going to get to press that button too," Quinn murmured, heading down the hall from the living room to their bedroom. "I'm going to lie you down in our bed," she began, toeing their door shut and fumbling the lock on while trying not to drop Santana, "then I'm going to take your clothes off piece by piece while kissing every inch of exposed skin."
"I like the sound of that." She said as she kissed and nipped the side of the girl's neck. "Then what."
"Then," she continued with a smirk, lying Santana down on the bed, "I'll take my own clothes off and let you see all of me. Everything but my wedding ring. Because I belong to you and that never comes off."
Santana laid down and watched her wife, "I think that we should undress at the same time," she whispered, "that way we can touch each other first."
Quinn looked at her for a moment with a slow smile. "Whatever you want to do, San. As long as I get to make love to you, I don't mind how it starts."
"Take off your clothes, Q." Santana husked before pulling off her top then pushing down her pants.
She swallowed, watching her wife for a moment before fumbling at her clothing. It always astonished her how easily Santana would come to her after her past even after all of their years together. The fact that she trusted her - iloved/i her - that much always made her breath catch slightly. She pulled down the zipper of her dress and let it slide down her arms and off her body. Stepping out of the puddle of cloth in just her sheer bra and panties - clothing more for Santana to see than her average items - she smirked at her lover.
"Like what you see, baby?" she asked softly, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. She'd changed her undergarments while Santana had been busy getting the kids ready for bed and she wasn't entirely sure how interested Santana would be. "I'm all yours."
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she whispered. "Come here."
Quinn crawled up onto the bed, making her way to her wife without any haste to her movements. She wanted to memorize the moment, seal away how the woman she loved looked in that moment with the rest of her memories of her. When her hand brushed against Santana's ankle, she leaned down and kissed her skin. Feather-light brushes of lips and occasional tongue traced her path up from ankle to knee to thigh. Hazel eyes darkened with want watched her lover's face as she moved, lips curled in a smile at the reaction she was getting from her teasingly gentle exploration.
"Are you okay?" she asked, smirking as she slid her tongue out to slide along the crease of one hip.
"Tickles." She breathed, "But... it's good." She let her eyes fall half shut, "Please." she whispered and arched her back when Quinn kissed over one of her scars.
"I love you," Quinn whispered, her lips brushing over Santana's skin with each word as she slid a little higher. She pressed gentle kisses and flicks of her tongue over the scars that marred her wife's flesh, "Let me show you how much, baby." Her hands slid gently over tanned hips and sides. "God, you're so beautiful, Santana... you take my breath away every time I see you."
"I love you too." She whimpered, her hand coming down to tangle with Quinn's. "I love you so much." Her breathing quickened as she arched her hips up, begging for attention from her lover.
Quinn wasn't in any rush. She mapped Santana's body with tender kisses, tasting the salt of her skin with little flicks of her tongue. Her hands smoothed over hips and stomach, but carefully avoided her core. She nipped playfully at Santana's breasts, tugging down her bra and avoiding being too rough, experience letting her know the line between too rough and just firm enough. She smiled as her lips curled around a dark nipple, sucking gently as she pulled her bra away.
Santana writhed as her lover sucked gently at her. "Please," Santana whispered, "you... God, no one will ever make me feel like this."
"Good," she whispered, breathing over a saliva moistened nipple with a smirk. "Because you're the only one I'll ever touch like this." Her hands drifted up to stroke and tease her breasts as she nibbled and kissed her way up to Santana's neck. She let her body rest over her wife's, matching her body to hers, the roughness of her lacy bra scratching slightly against sensitive skin. "Take the rest off me," she breathed, using a free hand to urge one of Santana's hands to the strap of her bra.
Santana deftly flicked the clasp of the woman's bra. "Mine," she whispered as she pressed hands across Quinn's back. "Only mine."
"Forever," Quinn agreed softly, sucking gently on the pulse beating rapidly under Santana's skin. She used her free hand to slide her bra away, letting their breasts press against each other. "God, I love you," she whispered, as she moved up to join their lips and nibble gently on her lover's lower lip. She could feel the slick wetness of her arousal soaking through her panties and slicking her thighs and she didn't doubt Santana could feel it too as she pressed against her.
The smaller woman whimpered and kissed her lover hard as she cupped her breast. "You're beautiful."
She moaned into Santana's touch, sliding her tongue against her lips asking for entrance as she slid her hands up to caress and stroke her breasts. Shifting her hips, she slid a thigh between Santana's legs and pressed against her core. "Tell me how you want me, baby," she gasped softly as her own sensitive core ground into her lover's thigh, slicking it with her want. "Tell me how you want to be touched tonight..."
"Anything." Santana whispered, "I just need to feel you... Please." She rocked against Quinn's thigh, "Can... can you use your mouth? I have.. I have those plastic things."
"Do you want me to use them?" she asked curiously, nipping at Santana's ear and tweaking a nipple with her thumb and forefinger, "I'm okay right now. No sores, no bleeding." She wanted to forget for a little while that Santana was sick. She nibbled at the corner of her jaw, just wanting to be with her wife like a normal couple for once.
"Y-you sure?" she whispered, "What... what if it's different now that I'm sicker?" she whispered, "I still don't want to risk hurting you."
"Baby, look at me," Quinn whispered, reaching up to stroke her face, "do you think I wouldn't have read the studies? That I haven't done the research? You're my life and this illness effects both of us. I'm careful. I get checked. The risk is low enough to let me give you this without a barrier. Baby, I want you to feel ime/i, not a piece of latex."
After a few moments of thought, Santana nodded. "Okay." She whispered. "I love you so much."
"You're my life, Santana Lopez," she breathed, kissing Santana and trying to show her how very much she was loved as she slid her body against her. Her nipples slid against Santana's as she moved, making her whimper and moan into her lover's mouth as she kissed her.
"Make love to me," she whispered, her hand coming up to stroke Quinn's cheek.
Quinn pulled away with a smile, moving slowly back down along Santana's body. Her lips caressed her breasts and her tongue teased her nipples as she slid further down. Scars were bathed with loving kisses and gentle caresses as she moved ever closer to her lover's core. "I love you, Santana," she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her mound as she carefully slid her panties over her hips and off her body, "and I'll spend the rest of my life making love to you in every possible way I can."
"I love you so much, " Santana whimpered, her hips rising up to give her lover the hint that she wanted to be touched. "Please, Quinn... I can't wait."
She smiled softly and carefully slid her hands down over the crease of Santana's hips as she spread her legs wider. "Neither can I," she breathed, taking in the heady scent of her wife's arousal.
Parting the woman's folds with her thumbs, she carefully leaned and brushed the tip of her tongue through the slight moisture of her arousal and whimpered at the taste. Santana never was copious in her arousal, but Quinn loved that about her. She loved how she could turn her on at all after the abuse she'd suffered. Rolling her eyes up to watch Santana, she flicked the tip of her tongue over her clit.
Silently, Santana's jaw dropped and her head rolled back. This wasn't something that was normal in their love making on Santana's end. She could spend hours between Quinn's legs, but her lover only got the chance once in awhile. Santana hated that she couldn't give this part of herself to Quinn all the time but they reserved it for special times, or times where it just felt right to have that intimate of a connection. "Quinn." Santana breathed softly.
She swallowed softly as she lowered herself closer to her lover's body. She loved being able to touch her like this. To take her in her mouth and give her pleasure with her body. She wrapped her lips around the hard nub of Santana's clit and suckled gently. She loved being able to taste her and feel her body tremble because of her touch.
Soft whimpers of pleasure came from Santana's lips as Quinn touched her. One of her hands came up and gently stroked her own breast as Quinn's mouth coaxed her body to release.
Quinn reached up and took one of her hands, guiding it to her head and encouraging her to direct her. Her eyes fell closed as she moaned into her wife's body, flicking her tongue over the tip of the bundle of nerves captured in her mouth. Her teeth teased with gentle pressure as she suckled, her hands stroking up to cover Santana's neglected breast, teasing the nipple with gentle pinches and tugs.
Gently, Santana positioned her wife's head. She drew her knees up, spreading her legs wider for her lover's lips to continue the work that was slowly driving her insane. "B-baby," She whispered, her body rolling in frequent shivers as a result to the attention on her sensitive nerve.
She moved her hand to continue spreading Santana as she moved to lick her body between her entrance and her clit. At her breast, she pinched the nipple and tugged gently, rolling it between her fingers. She wanted to taste her, to feel inside her with her tongue, but she still remembered how Santana had reacted when she'd been inside of her the first time and so she waited for permission though the tip of her tongue briefly flicked around her entrance.
"Not... not without protection." Santana whimpered, her mind almost too far gone to even care about the safety rules that she had put in place for her lover. "Just... do what you were doing..." She begged, needing release.
Quinn sighed softly in regret, but moved to take Santana's clit back into her mouth. She dragged her teeth lightly over it, flicking with her tongue as she reached up around to squeeze her lover's ass as she sucked her. She wasn't surprised her attempt had been refused, but it just reminded her again that Santana was sick when she wanted to forget. Trying to push it from her mind she focused on how Santana was reacting to her lips, teeth and tongue as she played with her clit.
"I'm... I'm sorry." She whimpered, her body arching up. "I love you, please keep going."
"Don't be sorry," she pulled away long enough to whisper, her breath cold over Santana's sensitive clit. "It's okay and I love you. Just enjoy this, baby."
She took her clit back into her mouth, capturing it with her teeth just enough to tug gently. Letting go, she sealed her lips around the tender bud and sucked hard the way she did when she was trying to leave a mark. Her tongue lashed the bundle, sometimes hitting it with hard flicks, sometimes lathing it with broad strokes.
"Fuck." Santana moaned, her back arching as she tumbled over into climax.
Smirking to herself that she managed to get Santana off, Quinn continued lapping at her clit, coaxing her down. She didn't want to stop touching her. She never wanted to stop when she had permission to make love to her like this. Her tongue swirled around her clit, her eyes open and peering up at Santana for permission to continue.
She whimpered softly her body tremoring with pleasure. Quinn nibbled gently at her clit, watching her as she stroked her hands over her breasts. She wanted to give her as much pleasure as she possibly could before she was told to stop. Her fingers pinched her nipples, twisting and teasing at her breasts, releasing them to roll her palm over them.
Santana pulled her wife's hair as she crashed into another orgasm. The pull was so sharp it made Quinn yelp, breaking her attention to Santana's throbbing clit. She panted, her own body screaming for release, but she ignored it to watch Santana being overtaken by her climax. A hand slid down to gently rub the tender bud as she watched her.
The woman gasped as she shuddered and relaxed against the bed. "You... fuck." Santana whimpered, "Baby come kiss me."
Quinn crawled up her body, keeping her hand lightly cupped over her core. "Did you like that?" she whispered with a tiny smirk, leaning in to brush her lips against Santana's. She was dripping with want, painfully turned on, but she did her best to ignore it in favor of pleasing her wife.
"Very much," Santana whimpered, she kissed her lightly and snaked her hand down her lover's body. "What can I do for you to make you feel good?"
"Anything," she gasped, trembling above Santana. "Whatever you want, baby."
Santana ran her fingertip against the edge of her lover's panties. "What about if I did this?" She asked as she slid her hand to cup her lover's mound. "If I just touched you like this?" she slowly ran her thumb up and down the woman's cleft.
Quinn shook, barely managing to hold herself up. "God," she gasped, her breath coming in short pants. "If... if you want..." She was trembling, her eyes falling closed and her lower lip caught between her lips as she fought to hold herself up on her arms as Santana teased her.
The other woman smirked and moved her hand down and pushed her wife's panties down. "I love you," She whispered, her fingers running through the woman's folds, "You always drench my fingers."
"I'm always a mess, you mean," she panted out with a breathless laugh. Her eyes dragged open to look down at Santana as she swallowed and did her best to stay upright above her, her breath hitching when Santana's questing fingers hit her sensitive clit. "I love you," she gasped.
"I love when you make my hand so wet." She smirked, "You get so turned on..." Santana brought her hand up to her lips and sucked the essence off her fingers before sliding them back down to Quinn's pussy.
"Of course, I do," she gasped out, visibly shaking as she kept holding herself up. "It's... iyou/i..."
"Sit down," Santana whispered as she thrust two fingers deep inside her lover. "I'll take care of you," she reminded her as she helped Quinn move so she wasn't resting on her arms.
Quinn moaned at the sudden penetration, allowing Santana to roll her so she was lying on her back beside her. Her hands shook as she reached for Santana, needing her close. "I love you," she whispered, chest heaving as she fought to breathe past her oncoming climax.
"I love you, too." Santana whispered as she thrust her fingers into her wife. "You make me so happy."
"You're why I smile," she gasped as her back arched, mouth opening in a silent scream as Santana catapulted her over the edge, her body releasing in a wet mess over Santana's hand and the bed.
"That," Santana whispered as she peppered kisses up Quinn's neck. "That's what l like. I like when you cum all over my hand after all these years."
Quinn struggled to breathe enough to let her answer, but all she could do was tangle a hand in Santana's hair and pull her into a deep kiss. She needed her close. Needed to keep feeling her inside of her as she tightened her walls around the slim fingers penetrating her. Needed everything that reminded her of how much Santana loved her to help hold back the fear of losing this. Of losing her.
Santana kissed her back, her fingers thrusting slowly as she felt Quinn's core fluttering around her hand.
"More," she finally gasped when she pulled away, "I want to feel you, baby. Let me have more. I can take it."
"Mmm, you think so babe?" Santana smirked, "I could always get your friend from the closet." she teased before moving to suck on Quinn's pulse point.
"You first," she panted, smirking up at Santana, "if you want our helper, I'll let you take me however you want after I come from your fingers again."
"I prefer my fingers," Santana replied, as she slid in a third finger. "How's that?" she smiled, and nipped the woman's skin under her ear. "You want more?"
Quinn gasped, her legs spreading wider to try and take Santana a little deeper. She loved it when she could feel her walls being stretched by her wife and those three slim fingers did the job excellently. "P-perfect," she hissed, hips rolling up to meet each thrust. "You're," she gasped, "the only one... who'll ever have me... like this."
"Thank you," Santana whispered, her lips wrapping around the woman's earlobe. "I love you so much," she said as she thrust her fingers slowly.
Quinn whimpered and bit her lip to keep from crying out as she moved with her lover. She looked down her body to see Santana's fingers sliding in and out of her, glistening with the copious moisture of her first orgasm and her continuing arousal. "San," she whispered, watching and listening to the wet sounds of the fingers sliding in and out of her, "w-will you," she licked her lips, "God... your mouth, baby," she slid her legs wider and reached down to part herself for her lover, "please..."
Santana nodded and quickly moved down to lick around her fingers before moving up and sucking on her lover's clit. "Like that?" she asked looking up as she kept thrusting her fingers.
"Yes!" she hissed, biting her lip to keep from screaming as she pressed her head back into the pillows, her back arching as she reached up to fondle and squeeze her breasts, "God, yes, baby, yes..."
A soft chuckle puffed out against Quinn's clit as Santana sucked gently. She lathed her wife's clit with the tip of her tongue before she sucked hard and twisted her fingers.
She arched her back, her legs coming up on either side of Santana's head. She only barely stopped herself from wrapping them around her and trying to pull her even closer. "C-close, baby," she gasped, pinching her nipples sharply and twisting them in an effort to use the bursts of pain to control how close she was. "So, so c-close..."
"Let go, beautiful." She smiled as she lapped at her lovers clit after sliding her tongue around her fingers once more. "Come for me, please."
She couldn't stop herself. Her hands moved to tangle in Santana's hair and hold her tight to her body as she came hard. She didn't gush like she had earlier, but there was still cum pouring from her body into Santana's mouth. She whimpered, the only sound escaping her throat a breathless mewl as her body went rigid with her climax, her fingers tightening in Santana's hair only to let up moments later as she collapsed limply into the bed.
The dark haired woman removed her fingers, licking them slowly before carefully licking up and down her lover's core and cleaning her up.
Quinn panted for breath but fumbled for her wife. "Baby," she whispered, reaching for her, "please..."
"All clean." Santana smiled as she came up and kissed her wife. "How about you catch your breath and then we shower and change the sheets before sleep."
"First, cuddles," she whispered, wrapping her arms around her wife and holding her close. "You make me feel so good, baby. Amazing..."
Santana smiled, holding her wife close. "I love touching you, watching you come undone."
"Good," Quinn whispered with a smile, cuddling in to rest her head on Santana's shoulder, "because you're the only one that will ever have that. I'm kinda glad you're not a guy even if you were healthy if you were. We would have iso/i many kids by now," she teased.
"Mmhmm," Santana smirked, "especially in grad school... I don't think we wore pants... Like ever at home."
She laughed softly, "Mmm, those were kind of amazing days though. Do you remember the time you snuck up behind me with our strap-on while I was cooking? I'd say maybe I should have known better than to cook in nothing but an apron, but it worked out pretty well for me in the end." She traced little patterns on her wife's nude body with her fingers as she spoke.
"I knew you'd enjoy that." Santana smiled, "You're kinda a secret freak."
"It's not much of a secret if you know, baby," Quinn teased. "And you like it, so what does that say about you? Hmm?"
"That I love your freakiness," she smiled and kissed her shoulder. "I can't wait to get you pregnant, Quinn." She said as she rested her hand on Quinn's stomach. "It's gonna be really hot."
Quinn smiled softly, covering Santana's hand with her own. "It'll be amazing, but this is one of the times I kinda wish you were a healthy guy." She leaned up and kissed her softly, "Because I really wish it could be iyour/i baby that I'll have growing in me and not some random guy that kinda looks like you. Yeah, I know the baby will be yours too, but... I wish it could be made from both of us."
"I know," she whispered, "but just like every gay couple, this is what we have to do."
"I know." She shrugged, "I wish the doctors didn't say the risk was too high to carry one of your eggs to term though. I was really sad when I found that out." She smiled wistfully, "Is it wrong that I used to dream about a little Santana running around someday when we were teens?"
"We have Gracie," Santana smiled, "she's a little me." She said, "I think that our baby will be awesome."
"Yeah, but," Quinn shrugged and smiled. "Never mind, you're right and our baby will be amazing. Hope I don't break your hand when its born," she teased, leaning up to kiss her.
"You can." She smiled, running a hand through Quinn's hair, "you have to push the baby out of your junk... That shit must hurt," she whispered, "but I'll adore you so much more that you are willing to do that for me."
"Oh, so I have to pop a baby out to get your full affection?" Quinn teased. "I'd do anything for you, San. You know that."
"You always have my full affection," Santana replied softly, "I'm just really proud and excited you wanna do this with me."
"I know it'll make you happy and you've wanted a baby for so long," she nuzzled at her neck, "I'm happy I can make that dream come true for you." She surprised herself with a yawn then chuckled softly, "I think we better see about that shower and changing the sheets before I fall asleep. You're too comfy, baby."
"Come on." She smiled, "We can sleep after. Go get showered as I change the sheets." She said as she headed over to the closet and grabbed a fresh set of sheets for the bed.
Quinn groaned as she rolled out of bed, stretching and grimacing as her back popped. "I'm not as young as I used to be," she moaned rubbing her back, but smirked at Santana. "Come join me in the shower when you're done, alright, babe?"
"Always." Santana smiled as she began stripping the bed of the soiled sheets and pulling new ones on. She grabbed the alternate bedspread and duvet and put them on the bed before she headed into the bathroom. She carefully slipped into the shower and replaced Quinn's hands as the blonde washed her hair. "All clean?"
"Mmmm," Quinn murmured, leaning into Santana as strong fingers massaged her scalp, "mostly, but it's always better when you help. Mind if I help you clean up?" she asked peeking out at her lover with a smirk as she ran soapy hands over tanned skin.
"Please," she smiled, "You know I love when you wash me."
Quinn laughed, sticking her head under the spray to rinse the soap out before pulling Santana under it with her. "I love you, you know," she grinned at her, water running over both of them, as she grabbed the shampoo and started massaging it into Santana's hair, "more every day. Even when you're away at a conference or I am, I still find new things about you to love. It's kind of amazing."
Santana smiled, "I think I'm going to stop going to to conferences." She replied softly, "I don't really wanna spend any time outside of the family anymore."
Quinn paused in washing her hair for a moment. "Are you sure?" After a second, she started scrubbing again, "Then I'm stopping too. My practice is small enough that I don't really need to be cutting edge. It's bad enough that I consult at the hospital in Burlington. There's no need for me to gone for days at a time. Especially not now that we're working on a baby."
"Only if that's what you want, Quinn." She said softly, "Maybe you only go once a year?" she asked, "I think you should still work in Burlington because I know you love it..." She smiled as Quinn massaged her head, "But I wanna be home with the kids, and I don't really need to be exposed to that much germs. Plus, kids will start school soon."
"Which is plenty of reason for me to stick around," Quinn pointed out. "I'm not sticking you with two kids iand/i our baby for a week alone, San. Just deal. The conferences don't need me and what I need from them, I can read about in the journals. Besides, what would I do if you caught a cold or something and I was out in Arizona at a conference?"
"I'd deal." She shrugged, "I don't want your job to suffer because I'm getting sicker. I'm gonna step back because I wanna be around for along time... but I don't want you to have to deal with this shit."
"All right," Quinn scowled, pulling Santana back under the spray to rinse her hair. Once she was done she shut the water off and got out, wrapping towels around both of them and pushing Santana to sit on the toilet seat. "You listen and you listen igood/i, Santana Lopez. I am your iwife/i. I ilove/i you and I have promise to spend my entire ilife/i loving you. And if you think for even one iinstant/i that I could be at all useful at a conference on the other side of the country when you're here idealing/i, you don't know me at all. I imarried/i you because I iwant/i to have to ideal with your shit/i. Because it's iimportant/i to me. Because you and our kids are more important to me than my career could ever be. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am," Santana whispered, she scowled for a minute before grumbling out a soft, "sorry."
She knelt in front of her and took her hands, squeezing gently, "Baby, you have to realize this is scary for me too. I ihave/i to be able to help however I can so I don't lose it. Because I can't ifix/i this. I can't even ifight/i it with you. Please, San... please. Don't tell me to focus on my career when I want every moment I can get with my wife."
Santana nodded slowly, "It's too much sometimes."
"And this is all I have," Quinn whispered, pulling her hands up to kiss them. "iBeing/i here and helping you take care of our family. Giving you a baby. Loving you. That's all I can do, San. I know it's not enough, but it's all I have. Please don't take it away from me."
Santana nodded, "You... you want a baby too right? You're not just doing this for me?"
She laughed, pulling Santana into a hug, "Of icourse/i I do, idiot! Do you think I'd willingly push a baby through my junk if I didn't want it too?" She pulled back and smiled at her, cupping her cheeks and brushing her lips against her wife's. "I've wanted to have a kid with you for years, baby. Yes, I was hesitant and concerned at first, but I also thought I'd have to have sex with a man to get pregnant at first. I was kinda naive."
"You were really all kinda of special." Santana smiled, "But I loved you despite and because of that." She hugged her wife tightly, "I'm sorry I can't give you a baby from me... some days I wish I kept mine from all those years ago."
"I know you do, and just for the record," Quinn teased, looking up at her, "I would have freaked the hell out if my best friend was pregnant at... what were you? Thirteen?" She traced her cheekbones with the pads of her thumbs, "But I would have tried to help you."
"Something like that." She shrugged, "Though, we have Grace who looks freakishly like me."
"That we do. And she adores her momma too," Quinn smiled up at her. "And we have Chien who is going to be the most amazing big brother to our baby. We'll be okay, San. One day at a time. We can do this."
"I know." She smiled, "Lets get dressed and go back to bed."
"Sounds like a plan. I need cuddles with my wife after the amazing, imultiple/i orgasms she gave me a little bit ago," Quinn teased with a smirk, standing and holding out her hands to help Santana to her feet.
Santana took them and headed back out into the bedroom. She pulled on some pajama pants and a tank top before flopping into bed. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Quinn. You know that right? That I would have already been dead if it wasn't for you."
Quinn slipped on a nightgown before unlocking the door and crawling into bed beside her wife. "I'm not entirely sure I would have lasted this long myself if I didn't have you," she admitted softly. "I'd be married to one of Daddy's cronies by now, probably already popped out a couple kids... Honestly, I think I might have killed myself if I had to go through that."
"Then I'm really glad we found each other." Santana smiled and cuddled into her lover. She looked over to the clock, it was nearing three am. "I'm surprised one of the kids hasn't had a nightmare yet."
"Maybe they're having a good night," Quinn suggested with a yawn, reaching over to turn the light down to dim and cuddling into her wife. "Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, I'm sure they'll be in here cuddling up by morning."
"You love it," she smiled as she let her eyes fall closed.
"Love you," she argued vaguely, falling asleep mid word.
