AN: I want to thank you all for the lovely reviews you have left for me. And I love your suggestions for future plotlines! You're continued support has really astounded me. I'm sorry about not being able to respond back to the surplus of reviews I've been getting; please know that they certainly make my day! I promise that I will try harder to address all your questions and comments in the future.
I truly appreciate your patience as I've worked on getting these chapters out to you. As you can see, they are starting to get longer as I am beginning to feel more comfortable writing in each character's point of views. Bella's chapter was starting to get too lengthy, so I've continued it here. I promise…she fully awakes in this one! :) So thanks again for sticking with me…..ENJOY!
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
BELLA'S POV
I got fewer visitors that evening, which was refreshing. It seemed that my so called 'posse' called it a night…I can't say that I minded. Today's events had provided me with a surplus of information; It certainly was too much for my injured brain to handle right now, so I appreciated the solitude so I could try and work out my thoughts.
First, I decided that I was in agreement with Edward; we have a lot of issues that need to be addressed. These issues would set the tone for what the future may hold. And despite my lack of trust for him, I knew things were going to have to change now that he had been introduced to his son. Regardless if he wanted to be a father or not, having your own flesh and blood brought before your very eyes changes things. It was now up to Edward to decided how much of a father he wants to be.
Second, Edward is upset with me and my decision to keep him out of his son's life. He is more than entitled to those feelings; they are understandable because I kept a major secret from him. While I felt like it was the right decision at the time, it seems that it has now come back to bite me in the ass. There is no going back now. All I could do was try my best to explain the situation at hand from my point of view, and hope that he could understand what I had gone through all those years ago. Regardless of his feelings of resentment for me, I am fully to blame for this situation, not Tony. He may not forgive me; I had betrayed him in the worse way, but he can't blame Tony for my decision. Tony is the innocent party, and he is still innocent in the sense that he hasn't put together who Edward is in relation to him. Based on the stories my son has shared with me, it seems that Edward has come around to the idea that he is a father, and that is all I can ask of him at the moment.
Third, while the primary people involved are my son and his father, I have to recognize that this situation is grander than just the three of us. Esme made it clear that the Cullens were going to be a permanent fixture in Tony's life. I wasn't sure what that meant exactly for us, but I knew our family dynamic was in for a rude awakening. Tony now had Aunts and Uncles (ones that were actually related to him), and another set of grandparents. And while this pleased me, I was worried with how attached Tony had become to them in such a short time. I could only hope he wouldn't be too affected by the Cullen's pending departure. How do you explain that it wouldn't be a good-bye, just a see you later to a four year old?
My silent haven was interrupted when the door to my room swung open and smacked against the wall, making a startling noise. Due to the lack of light shining into the room, I knew it was still relatively early. I'd venture a guess that not many people would appreciate the loud noise at this hour. I wondered who could be so careless, but wasn't surprised when the red-headed nurse appeared in my limited vision. She was breathing rather heavy, her inhales practically echoing against the bare white walls of the room. What was her problem?, I wondered.
"So I was accurate before Is-a-bell-a," she snarled, drawing out the syllables of my name. "Dr. Denali was pleased with my findings, which earned me to the chance to escape for awhile. And guess what? I found myself Mr. Schmexy; it didn't take long. Fork's population is lacking in attractive species. Obviously he was drawn to me. I mean, who could resist this package. You know what I'm saying?"
Actually, I don't, I thought to myself; I could barely see anything due to my limited vision. Considering the fact she was rather full of herself, it led me to believe that maybe she was exaggerating. I mean, her horrific attitude alone must sour any trace of physical beauty she had to offer. But who am I to compare? Next to me, she's probably Playmate of the Month. Most men only appreciate a nice piece of ass, not someone you could bring home to Mom.
I felt Victoria place her hands on my body to begin her assessment. The task at hand didn't deter her outward dialogue. "Anyways, I saw him eyeing me up and down; that lustful look made my insides boil. I practically had to fan myself so I wouldn't combust right there and then. He didn't approach me, but I think it was because he was surrounded by his family. They probably wouldn't appreciate him leaving them behind to fuck me; it would come off as insensitive considering someone close to them was in here somewhere. Nonetheless, I stayed on the floor, hoping that he'd come find me when he got a chance."
After her last sentence, there was a long pause in the story. I couldn't help but wonder why she was sharing this information with me. Usually she came in and out, keeping the conversations to a minimum. It actually seemed that she preferred to talk to herself than to me. Although, she was pretty much talking to herself now due to my lack of responses. I couldn't help but wonder if she had girlfriends or someone other than me to gossip with? I must be her last resort, I surrendered.
"I wondered who he was here to see. I mean, I asked him earlier when I saw him down in the cafeteria. He said it was his girlfriend, but I have a knack for reading people; I could see it in his eyes that he was lying. He was just trying to get me to back off. I admit, I did come on rather strong which probably wasn't what he needed with all he's going through at the moment. And based on the looks he was giving me this afternoon, oooh….he definitely didn't have a girlfriend. Or at least didn't have one that was serious."
I felt Vicky's hands move from my wrist to my head; she must be changing the bandages. I prepared myself for the discomfort of having the gauze removed, because it often adhered to my forehead due to the dried blood. However, I wasn't prepared for the bandage to be ripped off of my head, and with an unnecessary amount of force; I felt like she took my skin off with the gauze. If I could scream bloody murder, I would have. In fact, I swear some noise did come out, causing her to fake coddle me.
"Aww…did that hurt ma'am? I figured you'd be used to the dressings by now." Under her breathe, I heard her mumbled what sounded like "stupid bitch." What the hell did I do to deserve this treatment? And hwo was this woman a nurse? She had absolutely no bedside manner at all.
Usually, after the gauze is removed, the nurses wipe around the incision, removing the sticky residue the medical tape leaves behind. But Vicky continued doing a half-ass job, throwing fresh gauze on my forehead. The new gauze felt course rubbing against the cut. Water seriously would have helped ease the discomfort, but of course Vicky wasn't interested in making me feel comfortable. I would have to endure until the next nurse changed it. Hopefully, the next changing wouldn't be with this lady.
"As I was saying, Moaning Murtle," she snarled, letting my new nickname register in my mind. "I decided to do some recon work to see who this mysterious woman was. Imagine my surprise when I saw his family coming in and out of your room."
She took her palm, pressing the gauze down so it rested parallel to my forehead. There was no room for air to circulate and heal the incision. I tried not to think about the pain that was emitting from this harsh contact. I know I have a low tolerance for pain, but this might even be worse than the heavy feeling in the back of my head that seemed to have made itself comfortable while I was in this state. I kept trying to moan and get someone's attention, but Victoria didn't let up her palm's pressure. She must have thought I was moaning in relation to this new piece of information she revealed.
"That's what I said, you're room chica. I had to laugh at that one. Why would all these beautiful people associate with you? You definitely don't fit in with them. It must be embarrassing for you to go out in public with them. I deduced that you must be their charity case; the person they surround themselves with to make them feel superior. Poor plain Jane," she cooed.
Finally easing her palm off my forehead, the nurse came closer, as if she were going to tell me a secret. "And then it clicked. Mr. Shmexy is yours. Or should I saw was yours. No wonder you can't keep your man; with your appearance, I would be looking elsewhere as well."
Man? I don't have a man in my….Ohh. She must be referring to Edward. If I could smack my head, I would be muttering 'of course' to myself. I should have realized the Greek God she was referring to was him. In all the time that I've know Edward, he's always managed to turn the heads of the female population. And when he releases his charm, there is nothing that can be done for the poor unsuspecting females. Hook, line, sinker.
"Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that things are going to be different when you wake up. I refuse to share him with you. You are not someone who is on par with me…with him…with us. Once I show him all the pleasures I can offer him, your ass will be kicked to the curb in no time. I'll even bet on it because I never lose missy. And it would be a joke if I lost to you." After her threat, Victoria's voice became lighter, as if she were deliberating to herself.
"I wonder what excuse he'll give for dumping your ass. Obviously you'll know the truth thanks to me, but I doubt he'd give you that courteously. Let's see…what excuses do they use in those crazy soap operas? Maybe you'll be too different of a person after you wake up, and he won't love you anymore. Maybe you'll have amnesia, and won't know who he is. Of course, I'll offer my shoulder for him to cry on. Or, maybe he'll tell you he met someone else 'while you were sleeping', like that Bullock movie."
After a little more prodding, Victoria removed her hands from my body entirely. It seemed like the check-up was done, and I had to admit, I was more than happy to see Nurse Bitch go.
"Well Is-a-bell-a, I don't think this visit was very helpful. In fact, I noticed no change at all."
No change? How could this be? I felt like I was getting stronger and stronger as the new medicine coursed throughout my body. She must be mistaken.
"Maybe this medicine isn't working after all. I'll be sure to put that note in your file. We wouldn't want to…leave out…anything," she said. "Ta-ta for now, Is-a-bell-a," and just like her entrance, she went out with a bang.
It took me a couple of minutes before I could truly process just what happened. Her emphasis on the words 'leave out' made me believe she was doing just the opposite. She was choosing not to see any changes, and thus had nothing to document. But why would she do this? I can understand that she wants Edward, but tampering with my file is a serious offense. Someone needs to stop her, but who? I needed someone to speak on my behalf…and that someone needed to be me.
I knew that I was capable of making some sounds; I could hum a tune, and apparently moan, but nothing of value yet. I needed to work on better control of my voice. My throat felt dry due to lack of use, and was sore from the breathing tube they inserted earlier in the week. I tried swallowing several times to coat my throat with saliva, but had little success. I gave up, figuring I would just have to suffer a little bit longer.
After a quick reevaluation of my body, I found that I could now flex all my fingers and toes. This certainly was improvement; I just needed someone else to notice it. Motivated by this accomplishment, I decided to focus on my eyes. They were open, leaving me exposed to the room's elements, and yet I had no control over them. Them constantly being open had made them quite irritated. Without blinking, my eyes couldn't retrieve the moisture necessary to wash away the grim and whatever germs that permeated through the air. Trying to get both my eyes to blink at the same time proved futile. I decided that baby steps were once again needed.
Being a right-handed individual, I focused my attention on my right eye first. Despite the amount of force I was applying to my eyelid, I couldn't get it to close fully. Instead, I felt it quiver, and I felt the familiar feeling of disappointment course through my body. But I refused to give in. If at first you don't succeed, try try again, right? So I did. And then I switched to the other eye, so I could give myself a chance to rest. I didn't want to strain any of the muscles that have gone unused for so long.
I wasn't sure how long I focused on trying to blink, but I realized that the room was brighter than when Nurse Bitch had paid me her visit. Worried that too much time had passed, I gave up on the singular attempts, and focused on full-out blinking again. And finally, I made progress. My eyelids came down, and I felt the burn when my overly sensitive eyes were coated in the liquid they so desperately desired. I tried to open my eyes, and met some resistance. It seemed like my body was fighting my choice to expose them once again, but I was eventually able to coax them open. After a few more attempts, I found myself able to open and close my eyes with little trouble. I beamed for joy, excited that things were working for me.
It was time to focus in on my voice now. I figured the sounds I could make were hindered by my inability to open my mouth. Without the barrier of my lips and teeth, I felt like I would be able to verbalize what I haven't been able to while trapped in my body. I found that I had no problem pressing my lips together, despite the fact that they appeared to be somewhat swollen due to the cuts I gained in the accident. I had the desire to run my tongue across my lips to coat them, and I was shocked when I was able to comply to that wish with no hesitance at all. Now that they were moistened, I felt like they were more cooperative, and pushed out a ragged breath through my parted lips. The cool air felt good against my wet lips. I wanted to feel that again and again, so I treated myself to the pleasant sensation.
I was overjoyed when I heard the heart monitor pick up speed due to my giddiness. Yesterday when Edward stole a kiss and my heart rate sped up, I was mortified at the traitorous organ. But today, I couldn't help but beam at my hearts cooperation. It certainly made up for its mistakes! With my heart rate elevated I sat back and waited for the nurse who would have to come and check out what caused such a reaction to occur.
Before I was even able to finish that thought, I heard the door of my room open, and was pleased to not hear it slam against the wall like it had earlier. That must mean that Victoria wasn't who was visiting me now. And I was thrilled when I saw it was Olivia attending to me.
"When I heard that beeping, I was certain that a certain green-eyed cutie had snuck in your room, Ms. Swan. What's got you in such a tizzy honey?" she inquired. By the inflection in her tone, I could tell that she thought this was a rhetorical question, or at least a question that would go unanswered. But I couldn't let that happen.
Olivia pulled my gown down a little so she could check the heart sensors attached to my body to ensure nothing had been disconnected. As she pulled her hand away, her fingers brushed against my hand that rested on the bed. Before she could relinquish the contact, I jerked my fingers up to deepen that exchange. Not expecting that reaction, I felt Olivia's hand stiffen, and I could only assume her whole body had tensed due to the contact. She placed her hand on top of mine, as if she were testing to see if I would do it again. So I complied.
"Marvelous, Miss Swan. That is simply marvelous. I would be excited too if I had achieved the same task." She apparently thought that was it, but was surprised when she saw that I could now blink.
"You're…you're awake? Ohh Miss Swan. This is wonderful news. I have to go. I have to tell everybody!" I couldn't let her leave; I needed her help, so I decided that I would try and put my voice to good use.
"Uurgh unhh. Arh urgh." Not exactly what I had attempted to get out, but it was a start.
"I…I didn't catch that. Can you try again Miss Swan? You are so close," Olivia encouraged.
It was too hard to get out the phrases I wanted to address, so I decided to focus on simple nouns that could be pieced together. "Pwain. Urt,"
"You hurt? Where are you feeling pain? Take your time, I will figure it out. I'm rather good at charades I've been told," she added, trying to lighten the mood in the room.
"Hea. Terse." Not exactly the right words, but I figured it would take some time for my speech to return to its full potential.
"Hea? Hea…do you mean head?" she asked. Then, more to herself, she stated, "That would make sense. With the blunt force to the head you experienced." Focusing her attention back on me, she asked, "How does it hurt? Do you need more pain medicine?"
"Oh. Hea. Cut. Terse."
"No? Do you mean no? If you mean no, wiggle your fingers." I was glad that her request was easy. I could manage that.
"Okay. So your head….what can I do?"
I took a deep breath, blowing the cool air again through my lips. The break was nice for my aching throat. Once I was able to compose myself, I tried again.
"Hea. Cut."
"The cut? The cut on your head? Are you experiencing a lot of pain? There might be some leftover glass in there. Or, does it itch? Would you like me to redress it? If its yes, pat your hand on the mattress."
Not exactly the cause for my discomfort, but at least she would redress Victoria's poor attempt; I slowly patted the mattress, getting use to controlling more parts of my body. I heard Olivia's form retreat over to the cabinets in the room, and then doors and drawers opening and closing. I figured she was retrieving the gauze and medical tape needed.
Back at my side, I felt her hands reach up to my forehead, and examine the gauze currently covering my injury. I heard the sound of disapproval come from her mouth. "This was not how I left it before. No wonder you're uncomfortable; and unfortunately, removing it will not be a picnic. Please, bear with me."
I heard water running, and then shut off. Listening for further clues, I couldn't help but twitch when I felt the unexpected cool compress soothe over the gauze in an attempt to loosen the material. I knew regardless of the upcoming pain, Olivia's gentle touch made all the difference.
"Hopefully that will help some. Now, on the count of three, I'm going to remove it. I want you to inhale and exhale through your nose. That will help take your mind off the impending pain. Okay, one….two…."
I didn't even hear her mutter three because the sting of the bandage ripped from my skin clouded my judgment. I felt my eyes tear up, blurring my view of the room. I started whimpering, which resulted in my heart rate to speed up again. The increased noise in the room made it hard to make out Olivia's soothing words.
"Shh, it's okay. Just relax. Breathe in and out" she said, while leaning over to blow cool air onto the wound. "I'm going to get some ice, and try and ease some of the pain." In her absence, I took the time to compose myself. Once my head was taken care of, I would have to get down to the matter at hand; Victoria's ignorance.
"Here, let's leave this wet cloth on for awhile before redressing you again. Airing out the wound should do you good"
"Ache up. Terse."
"Terse. As in abrupt? Short? That doesn't make sense." I heard Olivia pacing in the room, trying to work out the message I was trying to convey. I knew she was getting closer when I heard her begin rhyming. "Purse? Hearse? Curse? Worse? Worse! Is your pain getting worse? Is that it? Pat the bed if its yes, flex your fingers if its no."
She was so close. I flexed my fingers, and Olivia went back to rhyming. "Not worse….then Verse? Disperse? Burse? Nurse?….NURSE! Yes or no?" I patted the bed numerous times, showing her that she got it.
"Okay, Nurse. Ache up Nurse. Did someone try to wake you up? Was it a nurse you recognized?" she asked. I patted the mattress again. "Let me go grab your chart from the nurses' station to see who the last one in your room was."
She was quick to return, however there was a frown upon her face. "The last check up was under my watch, four hours ago. Did I hurt you?" she asked. You could hear the worry in her voice. I quickly flexed my fingers to reassure her that she wasn't at fault. She let out a sigh of relief, "But then who hurt you?"
"Ick." Victoria had far too many syllables for me to get out; that would have to do.
"Ick? Was it a boy nurse? Nick? Rick? Mick?" She was spitting out names too fast. I flexed my fingers, hoping to gain her attention again.
"No? Not a boy?" I flexed my fingers again.
"Okay. We're looking for a girl? A girl named Ick. Nic..ole? Umm, Nikki. Ick…Ick. Vick. Vicky." I patted the mattress incessantly.
"Vicky. Victoria? She came to see you? She changed your bandage?" she asked. I patted the mattress to each of her questions. "And she hurt you? Why? And why didn't she write anything in your chart?"
"Mean. Ick. Aunt Ed."
"Victoria's aunt? Or Victoria wants?" I held up two fingers to show that it was the second option.
"So, Victoria wants Ed? Whose Ed?"
"Here. Fam"
"You're family is here? No, they went home, hon. Ed, Ed…as in Edward? Dr. Cullen? Victoria wants Edward. And she's taking it out on you?" There was excitement in her voice, because she could easily see the pieces coming together. I felt like a chorus of angels should be singing hallelujah once the puzzle had been solved. I felt my mouth curl up in a smile as I patted the mattress. And in response, Olivia smiled with me, sharing in the quiet celebration.
"You did it Miss Swan. You communicated. I knew you were still with us. And I applaud you for not giving up, and alerting us to the situation. Victoria's behavior is absolutely unacceptable. I will go seek her out, and call the doctor. He's due in around 7 this morning, but I have a feeling he'd like to handle this situation himself immediately."
Before she reached the door, I heard her pause, then turn around to face me. "And I will also contact the hospital's speech therapist. He can teach you different ways to communicate until you gain back the language skills that are lacking right now. We have to figure out if it is simply due to lack of use, or if it is connected to the sustained injury."
My room was once a happening spot. The door was opening and closing, administering nurses and specialists to come and see the changes for themselves. The general feeling was one of awe; no one really expected the sleeping pill to work, and yet here I was awake and on the brink of the reality I had come to miss. If I had to put a percentage on how close I was to fully waking up, as in being able to control all parts of my body, I'd say I was at a 97%. I was almost free of this; I couldn't wait!
A new voice rang out through the room, earning my attention. "Hello Ms. Swan. My name is Dr. Garrett Pepper, and I am the speech pathologist here in Forks. I've heard some good things about you and your condition, which I am pleased about. It is a great feat that you are able to communicate with us." I patted my hand on the mattress. In response, Dr. Pepper nodded his head. "Yes, Olivia explained your yes and no system. That will be very helpful going forward."
"Now I know you are an intelligent woman, a teacher I believe your file said. But the hospital requires me to explain everything to you like you were a child, so bear with me as we go through the nitty gritty, okay?" I patted the mattress again. "Wonderful," the doctor beamed.
"First and foremost, welcome back to the land of the living, Miss Swan. I can only imagine how frustrating these last few days have been. And unfortunately, things aren't exactly easy from here on out. As you've noticed with your speech, it is not at the level that you are used to. I have no doubt that you will regain your full speech, but before we get there, the basic skills must be strengthened before anything more complex can be added." I heard a chair scraping across the floor, signaling that Dr. Pepper was making himself more comfortable for this conversation. After he was settled, he continued with his spiel.
"It's common for a person who has traumatic brain injury to first have speech that is slow and slurred. The nurse explained that while you try to speak the words, they don't come out as clearly as you may think. My hypothesis is that you are experiencing dysarthria. That is a speech problem where the individual has difficulty forming words or speaking them because of weakness of the muscles used in speaking. Also, your tongue movements may be labored, resulting in slower dialogue."
"Still with me?" he asked. I gave him the signal that I was following him. Everything he was saying certainly made sense. "Good. Now, like I said, this disorder isn't permanent; its temporary. And with oral-motor exercises that I will provide for you, you will be able to work on your speech and swallowing problems. So are you ready for your homework?" Instead of the pat he expected, I wiggled my fingers because who likes homework?
"Oh, com'mon Miss Swan. I figured you would love homework, being a teacher and all. Or are you only interested in books? I'm sure I can find you the history of speech if you so desire. Plus, this homework will be a piece of cake. I'm sure you're son would love to help you with some of the basic skills." At the mention of my son, I was intrigued, and patted the mattress, urging him to continue.
Dr. Pepper went on to describe these "fun" exercises I could look forward to. First, I could blow bubbles, because it would help me control my breathing as well as purse my lips. Then, I could graduate to blowing on a kazoo, because it helps with vocal control as well as breathing because you have to hum and reach different pitches. I could also look forward to enjoying all drinks through a straw, which will obviously work on sucking skills, as well as pursing those lips again.
I'm sure Tony would love the tongue exercises. Ever since Uncle Jake stuck his tongue out at Tony after an argument when he was younger, it's become one of Tony's favorite copycat expressions. So he'd have no issue with working on sticking my tongue out for longer periods of time. Then there's the peanut butter exercise, which sounded pretty yummy to me. Someone applies peanut butter all over my lips, and then I do my best to lick it all off, paying special attention to the corners of my mouth where the delectable treat may creep.
After some success, I would move on to jaw exercises which will help to stimulate a new set of muscles. There's one exercise where I start with my mouth open, and then someone tries to shut my mouth by pushing on my chin. I would push against them, holding for a count of five. Another option is the chin slide, where I just shift my chin side to side without moving my head. Easy enough, I thought.
"Now, I don't want you over-doing these exercises. While they are helpful, you don't want your body to go into shock, especially after being so used to the dormant state you've been in. Baby steps, Miss Swan. So rest up, and I'll be sure to check on your progress again later today."
After Dr. Pepper left, Olivia returned with Dr. Denali in tow. They both had smiles upon their faces, and I couldn't help but share in their joy.
"So you're officially awake Miss. Swan. This is wonderful news. And who would have thought a sleeping pill could have such magically powers!" he jested. I patted the mattress to show that I agreed with him.
After checking the mobility I could now stomach, Dr. Denali spoke up. "I know that you still seem out of it, and not exactly 'awake, awake' in the normal sense. It is true; you aren't moving to the best of your ability quite yet. But you have to factor in all the pain medicine you are in. And, even though you've been resting these past six days, your body may feel like you've gotten no rest at all. The fatigue is normal, and will fade in time."
"All I can suggest is to rest, rest, rest. Enjoy these moments of solitude, and nap when you can. It's pretty much like having a newborn again. You nap when they nap. And I know for a fact that the Cullens will keep you occupied during all the visiting hours, so it's important you take advantage of the time that you've got. So, on that note, I'll let you catch some more zzz's before visiting hours start at 8."
I heard Olivia whisper something to Dr. Denali, and a muttered 'Oh yea' fell from the doctor's lips. Clearing his throat, Dr. Denali went back to addressing me. "You don't have to worry about Nurse Victoria anymore, Isabella. Her tenure here has ceased. Her behavior towards you was unacceptable, and on behalf of the entire staff here, I offer my sincerest apologies for the additional pain that she caused you."
I was feeling rather accomplished after receiving this news. I had set out to conquer my dilemmas, and I came through in the end. It gave me hope for the future. Although Dr. Pepper, and Dr. Denali both expressed that the road ahead would be bumpy, I was determined to give it my all. Like I tell my students, you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it. I would certainly have to apply that bit of advice when I take on Edward later.
And like the good doctor recommended, I closed my eyes, and enjoyed what was left of my seclusion. Only a few more hours until I would be reunited with my little boy; only a few more hours until I would feel whole once again. I couldn't wait.
