Wow. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I hope you're excited because I can barely contain my enthusiasm about the opportunity to share this with you!! There is still so much more to come and I hope you'll continue to let me know what you think! Thanks! xK

Chapter 50

A few days passed and the fleet continued on as normal. Adama had made the decision to keep following Gaeta and Starbuck's jump plots toward where Earth would hopefully be. If anything, it kept the fleet happy and safe; placated and out of reach of the cylons. Kara continued to insist that they were no closer to finding Earth now than they had been before Kobol, but Adama hoped against hope that she was wrong.

He and Laura had not yet again broached the subject of cylons and humans and their future together. Adama was happy to let that particular issue stay buried for as long as it would stay that way. But he could see the look in Laura's eyes now and then, and he knew that she could never just let it go that easily.

As for the escaped Cylon, it appeared that there was no trail left behind, and no one had yet claimed responsibility, nor any knowledge of the incident. It felt like a bad dream, one that pained Adama greatly. Someone had betrayed him and the fleet, and that someone was still out there, unpunished and potentially dangerous. It ate at him every day and every night.

This night he sat alone with Colonel Tigh in his quarters. Laura was working late and he and his XO had said barely two words to each other in the last few days.

"Why the frack did you take so long?" Tigh asked before taking a long drink of his ambrosia.

"Cottle said the tests were negative, and Laura was adamant that Sharon and Helo would not be forced," Bill said, shaking his head. He too wondered why Cottle and Laura had given up so easily.

"Well I'm happy for you Bill. But frankly I'm just glad to be free of Zareck, that would have been a disaster," Tigh said cynically.

Bill laughed. He could always count on his old friend to shed a different light on every situation. He knew that, though he would never say it, Saul was glad that he was happy, he knew what it was to lose someone so close. Bill's mind wandered over his joy and his incredible lightness and into the darker territory that had accompanied Laura's miraculous recovery. His expression fell.

"Laura had a vision, before the cure kicked in," Bill stared to explain the real reason why he had wanted to talk with Saul in private.

"Of course she did," Tigh responded stoically.

"She says that we need to make peace with cylons," Bll said evenly.

Tigh spit out the swig of ambrosia he'd just taken. "She said what?" He shouted in disbelief.

"I know," Bill said, thankful that Saul seemed to share in his reaction to the unimaginable idea.

"Make peace with the cylons?" Said said, thinking out loud. "Forget everything that they did to us, the Colonies, New Caprica, all of it?"

Bill just listened, letting the thought sink in. Tigh's mind was spinning. How could she suggest such a thing? Hadn't she been the one to tell them to run, that the war was over, that survival was the most important thing of all? How could she just forget it all?

"She asked a reasonable question, one that has been weighing on me for a long time now. What do we do if we get to Earth, and the cylons follow us there?" Bill said, trying to plot out his thoughts logically.

"Wait just a fracking minute. Peace with the cylons? Where did she come up with something like that?" Tigh broke in, still stuck on Bill's original admission.

Tigh was reeling. It didn't take long for his shock at Bill's words to begin to creep into that small place, hidden away in his conscience, where he knew his own existence was a betrayal to the fleet, to the human race, and to the Old Man himself. He was a cylon, but he could only bring himself to admit that on very rare occasions. Part of him wanted nothing more than to throw himself in the brig, or out an airlock. But the human part of him, or at least the part that felt human – the part that had lived for however many years, and experienced everything he had – that part wouldn't let him. He wanted to stay Colonel Saul Tigh.

"She's been having dreams all along; about the cylons, about Sharon and the Agethon child." Bill explained. He was only beginning to put together what it could possibly be that Laura was thinking. He wanted desperately to know where she was coming from, so that he could take her words and her visions more seriously. He loved her, he respected her, and he owed her that.

"So what, she thinks that cylons and us… that we can live…" Tigh found himself at a loss for words. This was getting close, too close for comfort. How could he talk about this with Bill? How could he, when he knew that he was a cylon, and was essentially lying to Bill with each breath he took? How could he argue, when he found himself secretly wondering if maybe Laura was right?

"Are you considering this Bill?" Saul said, breaking himself away from the hurricane of doubt and self-loathing that was building in his very soul.

"Of course not," Bill replied quickly. But he too was questioning himself. He couldn't admit it to Saul, but Laura's words were eating away at him. What if the cylons followed them to Earth? What if they never found Earth at all? And all the while he knew that this wasn't the first time that Laura had had visions, nor that they had been right. And worse, now he understood his feelings for her, he loved her and he couldn't help but want to believe in her.

"Bill the cylons aren't something to frack around with. When have they ever showed us any mercy? All we have ever known from them is war and death and destruction." Saul said, thinking aloud. "And I'm not saying that there aren't some, like Lieutenant Agethon, who are different. Hell, there may be others out there who aren't murderous bastards like the rest. But that doesn't mean we can just give up and forgive them for everything they've done."

Tigh felt good about what he'd just said. He'd obviously skirted around the issue, but at least he'd said what he really felt. The vast majority of cylons were evil. And there may be some, like Sharon and maybe even himself, that weren't so bad. Still, that didn't mean that they weren't locked in a war that would end with one civilization destroying the other.

"I agree with you Saul. But I can't help but wonder if maybe we've forgotten why we're fighting this war at all. How all of this started, it's so blurred by our emotion and by our pain," Bill said softly, taking a long drink.

"We're fighting to survive Bill. And we're fighting because those fracking toasters killed everything we ever knew back on the Colonies." Saul offered quietly.

"But before that, the first war," Bill wondered asked thoughtfully.

"They attacked us," Saul shot back indignantly. "Don't tell me you've forgotten everything we went through. We didn't do anything, and they tried to kill us all."

Bill thought for a long time before responding. "We created them."

Saul was quieted by his words. He knew Bill and he respected him, but he was having a hard time understanding where this train of thought was leading. Was Laura's influence really so great that the Old Man could forget the reason that they were fighting so easily?

"We created them, and we oppressed them, and they fought back. Whose fault is that?" Bill continued.

Tigh just stared at him speechless.

"I'm not saying that we should forget everything Saul," Bill said quickly, seeing Tigh's stunned expression. "And I'm certainly not suggesting that we listen to Laura's visions. What I am saying is that maybe we need to think a little harder about our own actions before we judge those of our enemies."

Tigh didn't respond, but instead busied himself refilling their glasses. He wasn't prepared to think about the larger scheme of things, or the future, or about right and wrong, good and evil. All he could do was continue to serve, continue to be loyal to his commander and to the fleet. It was the only thing he knew how to do, and it was all he had left. He was a cylon, he was the enemy and he hated himself for it. He hated himself so much more than he'd ever despised the cylons. Every moment of every day he only ever found himself paranoid that he was a sleeper agent and would end up being the one to betray everyone and everything he loved. He had no way to know that he was not an abomination and a harbinger of destruction, but instead a miracle.