Cloaked in darkness and shadow, Malick adjusts the folds of his cloak, removing his mask and concealing the weapons strapped to his belt. His boots click against the tiled floor, echoing loudly in the cavernous hall of Whiterun's library.
He tries to ignore the stiffness in his legs from being crouched atop the roof of Jorrvaskr Hall for the past two hours.
He had planned on attending the funeral only for Diamond. He had a little hesitation in thinking it wasn't his place, and it wasn't his business. But there was nothing wrong with attending specifically for the purpose of supporting Diamond.
He watched through the whole ceremony: the gathered speech of the members of the Circle, through the villagers leaving contribution and respects. All the while he kept his eyes on Diamond – watching her gait, her movements. It was the same as every other person who mourns the loss of a loved one.
She looked so beautiful, so powerful and full of strength in her armor with her weapons strapped to her back. Just as she was when he was watching her all those years ago. Whether it is all a skillful façade to hide her pain, he doesn't know, but he also doesn't doubt she is showing her true self. Diamond was the embodiment of strength, of power.
Though, he was surprised to find Princess Nassari Telivani walking towards the hall, with Libitania behind her. The two were dressed in mourning clothes, Libitania keeping her head low. Diamond must've invited her, and still, he only watched closer when the two mounted the forge to Kodlak's dais. He watched as the princess knelt before the dais and honored Kodlak, and he expected Libitania to do the same. She did.
But what he didn't expect was to hear Libitania sing. Her lament caught everyone off guard, and the air itself seemed to still as she sang. The words so full of sorrow and anger and rage. Not just something brought upon by the death of the Harbinger, but years and years of built up anger, a forever amount of suffering entombed in a hollow heart.
It wasn't in any language he knew, and he knew everything, as did Libitania. But this song was something that had him walking towards the library of Whiterun after he watched the brief moment exchanged between her and Diamond. A small exchange of expression, but between it, words that only they understood.
Even now, an hour later, the song is still fresh in his mind and he can't stop the chill that goes up his spine when its words echo through his mind.
Libitania was hiding something, again – a secret she kept so locked up that only the horror and shattering loss of her beloved home and servants could have made her slip in such a way. Her body is a patchwork of scars; he'd seen it with his own eyes. But these scars might go deeper: the pain of losing so many loved ones, and the different, but perhaps just as agonizing, loss of Diamond.
So the more he could discover about her, the better chance Diamond stands of being prepared when the secret comes to light. Because he will be damned if Diamond becomes broken again through the ache and pain of deception.
Removing his hood, he treks deeper into the library, attempting to look for the head librarian, usually seated in the little office tucked into one of the walls of the library. But he wasn't there, and so he managed to find an apprentice. A young woman, no older than fifteen, who immediately started gawking and nervously stuttering the moment Malick called her attention. He could've sworn her eyes bulged out of her head, and her tongue rolled all the way to the floor.
Malick could only smile. His beauty was only a mere weapon of his natural-born arsenal. A face that has earned him more women in a month than some courtesans hope to gain in a year. A face that he has used for both pleasure and deception. "I have a question for you, My Lady."
The apprentice, with her wine-red hair braided into pigtails, and her turquoise eyes sparkling, preens at the honorific, and Malick tries his best to look uninterested.
"If I wanted to look up funeral dirges – laments – from other kingdoms, where would be the best place to look?" While Libitania might've been born here in Skyrim, her origin was Imperial. So there's a chance she might've visited or have become more than familiar with the culture of Cyrodill. Especially when he heard she used to keep a multitude of Chorrolian stallions.
The apprentice gives him a confused look, and says, "What a dreadful topic."
Malick shrugs and takes a shot in the dark. "A friend of mine is from the Imperial City, and his mother recently died. So I'd like to honor him by learning one of their songs."
The girl smiles impishly and twirls her hair. "That's quite amiable of you. You must have a wondrous voice."
Malick almost snorts at the idea of him singing. Out of everything he could do, singing wasn't one of them. "Are there any books where those songs might be?"
"Hmm," the apprentice hums while walking down the main steps. "Well, most of the songs were never written down. And why would they be?"
"Surely scholars in Cyrodill recorded some of them. The Imperial City has the greatest library in all of Tamriel." Malick counters.
"That they do," the apprentice says, a twinge of sorrow in her words. "But I don't think anyone ever bothered to write down their dirges. At least, not in a way that could have made it here."
"What about in other languages? My friend from Cyrodill mentioned something about a dirge he once heard sung in another tongue – though he never learned what it was."
The apprentice strokes the end of one of her braids. "Another language? Everyone in Cyrodill speaks the common tongue. No one's spoken a different language there for thousands of years."
They appeared to be walking deeper into the library, Malick assuming she's trying to keep his company for as long as she can. "So there are no dirges in Cyrodill that are sung in a different language?"
"No," she says, drawing out the word as she ponders. "But I once heard that in the high courts of the Snow Elves, when the nobility died, they sang their laments in the Ancient Falmer Language."
Malick's blood freezes and he almost trips, but he manages to keep walking and says, "Would these songs have been known by everyone – not just the nobility?"
"Oh, no," the apprentice says, only half-listening as she recites whatever history is in her head. "Those songs were sacred to the court. Only those of noble blood ever learned or sang them. They were taught and sung in secret, their dead buried by the light of the moon, when no other ears cold hear them. At least, that's what rumors claimed. I'll admit to my own morbid curiosity in that I'd hoped to hear them all those years ago, but by the time of the slaughter had ended upon the Snow Elven kind, there was no one left in those noble houses to sing them."
No one, except . . .
"Thank you." Malick gets out, then quickly turns away, walking towards the exit. The apprentice calls after him, recommending he comes back in anytime he likes, but Malick doesn't bother to reply.
How? How is that possible she knew songs sacred to a long extinct court? Erelia Glendeylin was supposed to be the only living Snow Elf alive. Unless . . .
Could Libitania be in contact with the lost queen herself?
He was sure as hell that the Guild had no kind of resources, no matter how extensive that they could find another Snow Elf. Gods, if Libitania was in league with Erelia . . . if she somehow managed to get into contact, and has seen the Lost Queen for herself
Erelia was a part of the nobility who had been executed by the Nords. Her family and friends had been murdered.
Slaughtered.
Regardless of what the results could be, if Erelia ever took up the mantle she had lost, if Erelia ever got to her feet . . .
Then she could become a powerhouse – potentially capable of standing against Ulfric Stormcloak and the Imperial Army. Gods, with the combination of Princess Nassari Telivani, Queen Erelia Glendeylin, and Libitania Desidenius, there is a horror neither man nor gods could possibly stand against.
Sitting at the edge of the pier, the skirts of her dress blooming around her, the tips of Libitania's toes just touch the water as she swings her legs back and forth. Towering high above her, the Eldergleam tree glimmers in the moonlight, and butterflies and birds chirp happily within the Sanctuary.
With the blackness of the dress concealing her in the shadows of the night, Libitania was able to slip easily through the trees, avoid bandits and make her way towards a place that both she and Diamond knew about. They used to play there all the time when they were kids.
When she arrived, the moonlight was shimmering on the water as it is now, rippling slightly with autumn leaves floating onto the top and swarming around her, all landing around her; as if her mourning and sorrows repelled even them.
Libitania remembers when she and Diamond were younger, when she introduced Diamond to this place, it was around the spring. The trees would've been pink with flowers, lily pads floating atop the surface with white flowers, the water flowing smoothly from down the mountains.
They used to build their own little forts, they made their little hut home in a small outcropping of rocks that stretches back enough to hide food, some extra money, even clothes. Why they put it all there, they don't know. It just, felt fun. They were young, wild, and free to travel around with little to no parental supervision.
But, as she expected, by the time she came here tonight after Kodalk's funeral, everything was already gone. Probably taken by some bandits or hunters, or some vagrants. She didn't care; once both of them were at the age of sixteen, they barely had time to come here anymore. The clothes didn't fit, and the coins were mere chump change, the food rotten.
They would swim here in the summers, hunt in the fall. This place holds more than a special place in both of their hearts. Diamond probably doesn't even remember this place until she actually finds it. That is if she bothers to come.
After Kodlak's funeral, she thought she would feel, lighter. She killed Zusa, the women truly responsible for his death, she went to the funeral to pay her respects, and anything left from here, it's none of her business. She did everything she could.
So why does she still feel this way? These intense feelings of sadness, and anger, and hurt.
Stupid. How stupid she was to make such a vow to Kodlak. A stupid, pitiful vow that is worth as much as mud when there were so many beloved, strong and capable warriors to avenge Kodlak and carry on his legacy of the Companions.
Libitania takes a deep breath, calming her growing anger. She's just fatigued; exhausted from so much loss, tried some nights of no sleep.
Her dreams are getting worse. More vivid. And this time, she can feel the familiarity of a bow on her hands, people shouting her name.
What is she to do? She thought she could confide to Kodlak, but just as quickly he is gone from her.
Libitania curses Zusa's name to the highest order. Even in death she manages to ruin Libitania's life. Had Zusa, in killing Kodlak, also killed Libitania's chance of finding answers?
No. She knew what she had to do. She knew for the longest time – she just never had the courage to face it.
The sound of a twig breaking makes Libitania twitch her head to the left. She smiles at the familiar gait of feet on dry leaves.
"I didn't think you would come." She mumbles quietly.
Diamond has been following the trail for about twenty minutes now. Wherever Libitania is leading her, it's far enough for only their ears to hear. Diamond keeps finding more and more gold coins, by now she's collected nearly two hundred worth.
It didn't click in her head until she bypasses a familiar cairn, and she saw a red mountain flower tucked in between one of the rocks. The clue from Libby, and then a fresh breeze kicked up, and the smell of purified water tickles her senses.
She half-expected the flower to be rotten by now, reduced to an old brown with petals at its base, but no, the flower has remained as beautiful as before. Either through magicka, or because someone had the heart to replace it once the old one died.
Rounding a wall of rock, Diamond sighs when she finds the entrance to Eldergleam Sanctuary. This place is a cave located a fair distance away from Whiterun. It is considered a holy place in Skyrim, sacred to the goddess Kynareth. It's one of the most beautiful places in Skyrim. Libitania having found it while they were heading towards the city, and a vicious rainstorm made them take shelter.
Squeezing her way through the entrance, she inhales and sighs with pleasure as the air suddenly becomes filled with the perfume of wild flowers and purified water. Even with the cold of winter now over, summer is barely penetrating through the cold, but this sanctuary is still as lively as it would be in spring. Waterfalls flow from above down into the cave, and the Eldergleam itself towers high above on the hill atop, it's roots blocking the pathway to her trunk.
Diamond walks along the pathway, looking around, taking in the sight of the wondrous sanctuary, where war and famine seem like nothing but a distant memory. Log steps are half-buried in dirt, and the wood of a bridge creaks under her feet. She treks up the hill, butterflies and birds flying past her, rabbits scurrying past her feet.
She comes to a stop, inhaling stiffly as she beholds Libby sitting at the edge of a pier leading into the natural oasis. Still in her mourning clothes, her circlet and veil have been cast aside, already claimed by a couple of rabbits cuddled together in a small pile of fur, and a squirrel taking bits of it up to its nest.
Diamond carefully approaches, fidgeting with her hands. The skirts of Libby's dress are pooling behind her, spilling over the side of the pier, just barely touching the surface of the oasis. Her feet hits a twig, and Libby half-turns to her, indicating she heard her footsteps. She could've sworn she saw Libby slightly smile before turning back to the oasis and says, "I didn't think you would come."
Diamond doesn't say anything. She doesn't really know what to say. Maybe she might've when she was on her way, but being here now, seeing Libby like this . . . what words could possibly fic the rift between them? After everything she did, and after everything Libby did, are they too different to fix?
So she can only walk up next to Libby, who conveniently left enough space for Diamond to sit. Carefully she removes her weapons before sitting down next to her. Her feet are an inch above the water, dangling and slowly swaying.
Silence between them; the only sounds being those of the late night birds, the water flowing through the sanctuary. A butterfly floats towards them, delicately landing on Libby's scared knuckles. It's a beautiful butterfly – white with small spots of yellow on its wings.
It flaps it wings gently, crawling here and there on her hand. Diamond watches and listens as she hears Libby draw a shaky breath as she lifts her hand closer to her face. The moonlight pooling into the sanctuary casts panes of light and shadow along her beautiful face. Her other hand carefully lights, and her finger strokes the wing of the white butterfly. After another stroke, the little critter lifts from her hand, tentatively touches the tip of her nose, and then swoops up high towards the Eldergleam tree.
Diamond looks to Libby, surprised to see tears streaming down her cheeks. Libby wipes them away and gently speaks, "We used to play here all the time."
The Companion can only look at her friend. This wasn't a conversation where she needed to speak.
"I remember when we first arrived, you were so stupid." Libby chuckles sadly. Diamond gives a half smile. "You ran right across the bridge and fell face first into the water because you slipped."
Diamond's smile grows wider, though still laced with sadness, but compassion. And her shoulders even shake from the chuckle that compresses her chest.
"Then there was another time I tried teaching you some magicka – aw, I can't remember what it was – but when you tried it, you made the plant grow so fast you got tangled in them." Libby giggles again, or rather, some king of a giggle mixed with a sob. More tears drip from her chin. She sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her wrist.
Diamond remembers all of what Libby is talking about. They used to come here so many times, she was disappointed in herself for not remembering. It's quite possible that some of their best memories are here in this Sanctuary. Entombed with the light of life, the cleanliness of the air. Memories as pure as this sanctuary deserved to be here. And they will forever stay here.
"I will not ask for your forgiveness." Libby then says, her voice barely above a whisper. Diamond looks to her. "Because what I've done, is truly unforgiveable. I've been so lost in anger and hatred for so many years. And then this goofy, stupid, uneducated kid comes along –" Diamond chuckles, familiar with the taunt and mockery among friends. "– and suddenly, I find her stealing what was left of my heart. But now, it seems that I've lost you forever."
Without realizing, Diamond scoots herself closer to Libby, the skirts of her dress now touching her hip. She shivers at the sight of the thick scar trailing vertically across Libby's eye. A scar that she inflicted.
"I'm sorry Diamond. Please understand that." Libby whimpers. Libby looks to her, her emerald eyes gleaming, the gold sparkling like the moonlight on the water. "I am so, so sorry. For everything. I know I shouldn't have lied to you – you were the greatest friend I've ever had."
Tears run over and down that scar. Diamond looks at the scar, a pang of guilt in her chest. When she had given that scar to Libby - her best friend - she wasn't thinking. She was so consumed with rage over what she thought Libby had done, all she could think about was ending her life. But now, now Libby almost wears that scar like a badge, a symbol of what she had endured.
It's admirable, but it's also rather annoying, because she has to admit: Libby looks pretty good with it.
"I've been lying and running for so long that I have forgotten what it means to stand and fight. To be truthful and to actually let someone into my life. But then again, perhaps I thought that my life was too complicated and dangerous that I thought I was protecting you more by keeping it from you."
Another stiffness of breath, and a deep inhale for control. Diamond knew she is speaking far past her lie of just being in the Faceless. There's something deeper in her life, something that could fall under the same category of her mother, possibly. Maybe, the secrets belong to that of her mother. Diamond knew what had befallen her father, knew what he did and how he operated. But her mother . . .
"But, after everything we've been through, I only realize now I was running from what I couldn't face. And now, as much as it pains me to say it, the Libitania you knew has died. She had died a long time ago."
So had Diamond. They were mere children compared to what they are now. Warriors scared and aged with loss, betrayal and anger.
"I thought I knew what loss was, but after losing you . . ."
Diamond almost chokes at how Libby is taking the blame for this. Diamond admits, she's the one who turned her back against Libby. She's surprised Libby is still even bothering to talk to her now even after what Diamond said to her, and what she did.
"Now I think realize the pain that you endured; what I did to you that night on the Emperor's ship. I didn't know I had caused such loss for you. And you have to know that I did everything I could. Please know that." Libby's voice hitches and she covers her mouth, choking on sobs.
This is, surreal. Her whole life Libby has always been the responsible one, the rock of the two, the level-headed one. And Diamond, Diamond would always confide to her, always be the child, and now . . .
"I'm sorry Diamond. I'm just so sorry."
This time, Diamond can finally see the strong Libitania crackle and crumble. Her wall crashing down and emotions flowing forth. She has seen Libby cry before, but not like this. When she cried, she only allowed a few tears before she forced herself to stiffen up.
She's never really seen Libby, sob before. It's odd to think about it now.
So Diamond scoots herself closer to Libby and wraps an arm around her shoulders. She pulls Libby in and lets her head rest on her shoulder. The water ripples and Diamond could see fish swimming towards them. Off to Libby's left Diamond watches as a small bird lands on the post at the end of the pier. It chirps and looks to Libby, cocking its head here and there before going to pull at her skirt.
Diamond is about to shoo it away, but Libby finds it and actually pets it. The bird chirps, almost sadly, before flying off.
The two of them sit together in moments of silence, letting the waterfall and birds be their music. Diamond rubs Libby's shoulders as she continually waits for her to be finished. When she is, Libby lifts herself from Diamond's shoulder and wipes her eyes. Diamond again looks to the scar on her left eye. She must've seen a healer for it to heal that quickly.
Then they just sit together, watching the water, letting squirrels and rabbits and butterflies and birds scamper and float around them. Quickly the silence becomes comforting, wrapping around the two girls like a blanket. And then . . .
"Aurora." Libby speaks.
Diamond looks to her with a confused expression. Libby looks to her, eyes still red-rimmed, but the green and gold of her eyes shining as bright as the sun.
"You once asked if I could remember my mother's name." Libby speaks softly. "It was Aurora."
Diamond is almost taken aback. Instantly, she remembers.
It was actually in this very sanctuary that Diamond had asked Libby about her mother. They were making the trek up to the Eldergleam for a picnic. The roots themselves seemed to move out of Libby's way, as if the tree herself was welcoming them.
They sat under her, the pink flower petal drifting down around them. Butterflies of all shades and all animals inhabiting the sanctuary coming up to them. The two of them feeding the animals as if they raised them. Shoveling down on some delicious food from Solitude, the girls were talking peacefully – though she can't remember what – and then Diamond asked Libby about her mother.
Immediately Libby paused her eating and set down her bowl of soup. She wipes her mouth and disclaimed she had no memory of her mother. Foolishly, Diamond perused, but Libby kept saying she has no memory. Then she shut Diamond up with the simple story: Her mother was killed when she was young, then her father, and then she was a thief.
And that's all Diamond needed to hear to realize she should not push too far, for her own safety and livability.
Diamond eyes almost water at the confession. She's never heard the slightest fact about Libby's mom, and now, to put a name to a still mysterious face. It's a still small dip in the massive pool of Libby's past, but . . . looking at it. Looking at Libby . . .
Diamond realizes she is more than willing to take the plunge into figuring out just who Libby really is. She's more than willing to start over, to see the real Libby with no secrets.
She is still her friend, and Diamond is still her friend. They have been through so much together, and apart. They are no longer the children they once were. They can still start anew.
And then she feels it – a warmth in her chest that is both familiar and foreign. Something that feels like it has been cocooned in her chest for so long, that one it has been let free, it spreads wildly through her entire body, raising the hairs on the back of her neck and spreading goose bumps across her arms.
You two share something I can't even describe. Something so pure, so strong that nothing in this world, none of its cruelty or pains can destroy it. Kodlak had once said.
And now she feels it.
The bond between them that could never be broken. A bond built of shadows and blood and tears and love. The bond between them that goes deeper than blood. It is something that could possibly never die, no matter what life throws at them. And that, is something special.
That is what unconditional love is like.
And so, Diamond sits herself closer until her thigh is touching the skirts of Libby's dress, wraps her arms around her arm around Libby's shoulder. She leans in, and when she feels Libby's shoulders shudder, Diamond sighs contently and lets her cry.
