If you're reading this? Thank you.


18. Black


"Rei."

You blink out of your doze, curious. Kai stares at you with no expression in particular. You stare back. He starts to turn away, gesturing for you to follow. You run through The Catalog at the back of your head- today is not a special day, as far as you can recall. You didn't agree to take a walk earlier. He'd made no indication that the two of you needed to talk. The hotel room is quiet and still, disturbed only by the dull hum of the air conditioner.

"Let's go," he says.

You leave the couch and follow Kai out of the door and down the dark hall, silent, just like him. You hadn't realized it was so late. The silence around you is the sort that makes you forget someone could ever speak above a whisper, how any movement could possibly be louder than a rustle, the padding of feet down abandoned halls. You wonder where Kai is taking you. You've done the same thing to him on a few occasions, knowing you can depend on Kai to be there when you need to think things through. He's quiet when you need him to be, and sensible when your own head is spinning.

The two of you step into the elevator. You wince at the bright illumination that spills from the parted doors.

You follow Kai inside and watch as he presses a button, then grimace as the machine abruptly lurches upwards, leaving your stomach behind. He smirks at you, and you narrow your eyes at him, fighting a smile.

The elevator halts to a stop. Outside the elevator doors is an unlit and desolate hall, and you barely have time to wonder about this before Kai strides out and over to a window, which he pushes open. You follow him, frowning a little because you're confused. Is he planning to jump? You're about to voice your opinion of this, but then you see the fire escape. He turns his head back to smirk at you in the darkness before climbing out onto the small metal landing. You roll your eyes, but his warped idea of a joke leaves a smile tugging at your lips.

It's warm outside, the air close and damp.

A short climb later you're on the roof with him, standing on a barren stretch of concrete peppered with vents that hunch like old gargoyles in the dark.

You can just barely see the beach half a mile out, but the smell of saltwater is strong and sharp, carried by a heady breeze. The sky is thick with clouds, moonlight just barely filtering through. You can see the ocean. It rolls out into the night like an endless plane of glass. You gaze out for a time, transfixed.

A small movement catches your eye. Kai has shifted- he's leaning against one of the vents, arms crossed, absently staring at the sky. You frown at him, wondering.

"Bad dreams?" you call.

Your voice sounds too loud in your own ears. It's ridiculous, you know, but you wonder if maybe you should have whispered. Kai looks to you with a start, frowns, and shrugs. You weave between several vents to stand in front him, concerned.

"Tell me about it?"

He stares at you, and you pray to all the gods you can think of he doesn't realize what the intensity of his stare is doing to you. For a long moment it feels as if there's something between your body and his, something strong, growing stronger, something like electricity, and if you reached out to touch it you'd be shocked but you want to anyway-

He shakes his head, severing the connection.

"Bad dreams," he repeats, avoiding your eyes now. "Bad thoughts. I don't know."

He looks out over the ocean with an expression you can't quite place. It makes you uneasy.

You lean against the vent beside him, flippantly ignoring his you've-invaded-my-personal-space glare. You offer a smile.

The glare falters and breaks. Kai sighs, the sound heavy with the undertone of some new resignation.

"Rei?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not sorry."

He leans forward and kisses you. You know logically it has to be a kiss, but it's got to be something more, because time shatters and pieces itself back together, rushing past, blurring everything, leaving you breathless, scared, disoriented. You pull back. Breathe. Breathe.

He doesn't move. His eyes are closed. You bring a hand to his cheek and let it touch, to reassure him, to let you know this is really happening.

"Slower," you whisper, and then your lips are pressing against his.

Crimson eyes snap open in surprise, but a languid lick across his bottom lip eases them shut again.


Memorizing lines and fragile things, writing backwards, gnitirw sdrawkcab. -SHQ