I own nothing.

Ring, ring.

"Hello?"

"Shhhhh!!!!!"

"FINALLY! Where are you?"

"Hiding."

"From who?"

"Alice."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"It's April Fool's Day."

"Oh, come on, Jake, she isn't going to do anything."

"Yes, she is."

"You and all the guys are over reacting."

"Really? All of the guys?"

"Well, Bella and Edward have decided to skip April Fool's Day this year and hide all day in their room, but other than that, all the guys are hiding."

"I have every right to hide."

Alice (intercom) Jacob Black, please report to the kitchen, Jacob Black.

Jake No, this is it… GOOD BYE CRUEL WORLD!!!!

Jasper(intercom) Alice, do you really have to annoy everybody in the intercom?

Alice(intercom) Yes. Hay, I FOUND YOU!!!

Jasper(intercom)Yeah, that's great. How did you fix it anyway?

Alice(intercom) Fix what?

Jasper(intercom) The intercom system.

Alice(intercom) Oh, that. Edward didn't break it, he just unplugged it.

Edward DON'T SAY IT, JASPER!!!!

Nessie Well, I see two people who finally decided to show their faces today.

Jasper (intercom) I wasn't going to say it!

Emmett THE INTERCOM'S WORKING!!!!

Rosalie No, it isn't.

Emmett Really?

Rosalie No, not really.

Emmett(intercom) GIVE ME THE MIC!!!

Alice(intercom) NEVER!!!!

Emmett(intercom) Clean up on isle three.

Bella (intercom) OH MY GOD!!! DO YOU TWO EVER THINK OF GIVING US A MOMENTS PEACE!?!?

Alice (intercom) No.

Emmett(intercom) Would you like fries with that?

Bella(intercom) Emmett, go annoy Rose or something.

Emmett(intercom) ROSE!!!

Rosalie Thanks, Bella.

Bella(intercom) No problem. Alice you have to chill out with this April Fool's thing.

Alice(intercom) I wasn't going to do anything. I just take a laugh in watching them being scarred out of their wits.

Bella(intercom) So you weren't going to do anything?

Alice(intercom) Nope.

Bella(intercom) You do realize they just heard you, right?

Alice(intercom) Damn.

Jake So we don't have to be afraid of our own shadows now!!

Nessie No, you don't have to be afraid of your own shadow now.

Jake I'm so happy, I think I'll eat a cookie.

Ropes snapping.

Jake Not again.

Edward I thought you said you would never trust a cookie again.

Alice(intercom) APRIL FOOL'S MORON!!!

Bella (intercom) I would like all TNT to be put in the back yard so I can make this intercom system explode.

Emmett Check under the couch.

Jake Will someone let me down?

Everyone in the house No.

Rosalie Alice, if you get the goose feathers, I'll get the boiling pit of tar.

Alice Okay.

Jake Wait, no! I LIKE BEING UNTARRED AND UNFEATHERED!!!

Alice A little to the left.

Rosalie Right there?

Alice Perfect.

Nessie I'll be there in five minutes to save your skin, Jake.

Jake Thanks.

Hangs up.