Tired... so... tired......
i was up till like... 4 this morning worrying over GCSE's and coursework... im in my final year of high school you see, and everything is getting on top of me, I have business coursework to do (50 pgs) biology coursework (15pgs) Spanish to revise (i have an oral exam tomorrow) and then the god damn stupid teachers put me on an AS course for Culture and Communication.
My life sucks. Yep.
But, you guys reviewing actually does make my day, so keep it coming! ... please?
enjoy anyways.
I was in love with Takashi Morinozuka.
And I was sure Kyouya knew.
He'd been pissed all week. He'd snapped at Tamaki and made him cry, like, more than usual. He'd added two million yen to Haruhi's debt. He'd separated the twins for a week in club so they were miserable. He hadn't paid for Honey's sweets, so he was in a mood. And he'd basically ignored Takashi or treated him like a piece of shit.
He'd also docked me to dog. He made me do all the tasks for the club. Set up, wash up, bring tea, clear away cups. I wasn't to talk to the guests or the hosts unless I was spoken to, and even then I was to give minimal answers and the go about my jobs.
It was enough to make me want to quit altogether. I think that was the idea.
I put up with being treated like the lowest form of slave for three and a half days, then I just about snapped.
"Saori. You didn't clean up after Tamaki's table." Kyouya snapped, jotting something down in his book and then shooting an icy glare at me.
"Didn't I? I'm sure I cleaned it up." I said in the nicest fake voice I could manage, only slightly grinding my teeth together.
"No, you didn't. You can clean up tonight after club."
"Sorry, I can't. My grandmother wants me to get home as soon as possible."
"You'll have to clean very quickly."
I shot a look over to him. He looked like he normally did, very smug, with a sardonic smirk. But the former friendliness he'd shown me had disappeared, and in it's stead was a cruel, horrid person, who treated me like shit.
"No. I can't."
"It's your job. Or should I just ask you to leave the host club?"
"Oh, for fucksake!Kyouya, we need to talk." I shouted, finally losing my rag with him.
"I have better things to do." he snapped, taking a step towards me and looking rather menacing.
"Like hell you do. Come on." I strode towards him, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the back room. I threw a glance over my shoulder and saw everyone else looking rather shocked, but Takashi was stood beside Honey, hands balled into fists and he looked about ready to punch Kyouya.
After what seemed like ages, we got into the back room, had shut the door and were standing facing each other. He had his arms crossed and looked pretty damn mean, while I had mine buried in my pockets so I wouldn't feel tempted to hit him.
"Kyouya, what's up with you?" I asked in a low voice, trying not to raise it because he would probably get angry too.
"You know what my problem is Saori." he snapped.
"What? I'm not actually sure what I did wrong." I mumbled, looking him in the eye for any trace of human emotion.
"You played me. You always knew you were going to end up with him, didn't you?"
I stared at him for a moment. He looked kind of broken, like a real teenage boy who had had his hopes built up and then smashed down. But that was no excuse for implying I was the kind of girl who toyed around.
"Actually Kyouya, I didn't. I didn't know how I really felt about him, than we just kind of clicked. I'm sorry if I upset you... but I didn't do it intentionally."
He scoffed "of course you didn't."
"I didn't!" I'd taken several steps towards him, and was now face to face with him. "I really didn't..."
Surprisingly, I felt tears prick my eyes, and I angrily swiped at one that fell down my cheek with the back of my hand to get rid of it.
He looked me in the eye, and sighed. His expression softened and he then took hold of my hand... it didn't feel as comfortable as when Takashi held my hand, but it didn't feel wrong either.
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know me liking him would upset you like this." I mumbled, watching as he played with my fingers, turning my hands over then back, entwining his hand with mine.
"I guess I'm sorry too... I've been an ass haven't I?" he let out a half hearted chuckle, then shook his head.
"Kinda... but I've not exactly been brilliant."
"Could you... think about giving it another shot? Friendship I mean, there's no way I have a chance at anything else. But I want to forget about being a complete dick... start again."
"That's a very interesting notion." I giggled.
"Maybe, but could you?" he asked, now staring at me.
"Course I could."
I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, and he tentatively hugged me back.
"Thank you Kyouya." I said, pulling away from him and giving him a bright smile.
Perhaps I wouldn't be dog anymore.
* * *
Everyone had been shocked by the sudden change in mood with both me and Kyouya. Of course, they all knew that me and Takashi were kind of unofficially an item, but they all kept that to themselves. If the guests found out Takashi and me were a thing, they wouldn't want to come. Think about it this way, they gave him their hearts and adoration, then he threw it back at them and went off with little ol' me.
Yeah, I is a man stealer, teehee.
Takashi and Kyouya even (kind of) had a truce. They were friendlier to one another, and they didn't seem to get as possessive over me as they had done a while back.
But as March passed, along with April and half of May, my mood deteriorated.
May was the month in which my dad died.
I'd told Takashi or course, so he'd know what the matter was if I suddenly seemed to lose it and break down, as I had done in the past. Kyouya knew through his research, but as he was kind of my best male friend, I'd told him to keep him updated.
I'm not sure the others figured it out, because Tamaki still called himself my 'daddy', no matter how much I begged him not to. Kyouya had taken to having the twins beat him every time he did it, but it still didn't sink in.
Haruhi was about the only one who recognized my mood a week before I even really showed it.
Dad had died on May 20th, Haruhi picked up my varied mood swings about May 11th.
I'd been sat by the window staring out at the sky (it was a clear day by the way, only a few clouds up there) when she'd come over to me on her own and handed me a tissue. I took it, but asked her what it was for. I'd been crying and hadn't even noticed.
It was just things like that. Honey and Takashi were next to pick up on my moods, so even when I tried to seclude myself, they'd find a way to get to me, and while Takashi would pull me into his lap and let me cry into his shoulder, Honey would give me Usa Chan, to which I would just hold onto until my cries subsided.
I only really snapped on the 19th.
We were going over the plans for next weeks club. Tamaki insisted on Alice in Wonderland for one of the costume days.
"It's going to be wonderful!" he cried, whirling Haruhi around and looking too much like a little boy for me to even take him seriously.
"Of course. Have you even considered how much it's going to cost for the costumes? And who will play what parts?" drawled Kyouya from the chair opposite me and Takashi. I was leaning against him now, staring off into space. Takashi was stroking my hair.
He'd been doing his best to take care of me, but I hadn't spoken to anyone all day. I was scared if I opened my mouth, all that would come out is random unintelligible words that I would choke out through tears.
"Well, I'll be the mad hatter, and you can be the queen Kyouya! The twins can be Cheshire cats, and Mori sempai can be a knight, and Honey sempai can be the white rabbit!"
"Yes, and what about the girls?"
"Um, well Haruhi can be Alice!" he grinned.
"And what about Saori?"
I cocked my head at the mention of my name, slowly, I turned to look at them all.
"Saori... Saori can be the mouse!"
He grinned at me while releasing Haruhi and taking a step towards me.
"Brilliant... I'm a mouse." I croaked. I didn't know how horse my voice had sounded because I hadn't really talked all that much. Tamaki heard my croaky voice and instantly morphed into 'loving father mode'.
"Saori, is something wrong?" he asked, crouching in front of me.
I shook my head, I could feel the lump in my throat and knew I was close to tears.
"Talk to me, please, tell daddy what's wrong!"
I snapped my head up to meet his eyes.
"You're not my dad." I whispered.
"But, but I am daddy! Mommy, tell Saori I'm daddy!"
"I'm not having anything to do with this conversation." inserted Kyouya, looking away quickly.
"But, but I am daddy! Saori, don't get upset with me okay, I'm just trying to be a loving parent is all!"
"But you are not my dad." I whispered again, but the cracks in my voice were obvious.
"But all daddy wants to do is-"
"You are NOT my dad!" I yelled, standing up suddenly and knocking him over in the process, as he'd been knelt in front of me. "My dad is dead! Hiroki Yasagawa died of cancer ten years ago tomorrow! I don't want another dad, I don't need another dad! Get over yourself, and get a grip on reality! How many god damn fucking times do I have to tell you? You. Are. Not. My. Dad!"
I stormed away, walked right into the back room, slammed the door, locked it and then broke down to the floor in angry silent sobs.
* * *
General
"I... I didn't know." whispered Tamaki, very pale faced. He glanced up at the others who were looking at him, then he cast his eyes down.
"We did tell you not to call yourself 'dad' anymore. At least with Saori. But did you listen?" snapped Kyouya, on his feet and looking rather pissed off.
"I didn't... I just..." the blond boy couldn't think of what to say. He should have just stopped the first time Saori said that he wasn't her dad. He could see something wasn't quite right with her, but his emotions overtook his logical thinking and now he really had messed up.
"You just didn't think." snapped Takashi, rounding on the younger boy. "You never think and now she's locked herself in there, depressed, crying with no-one for her to even talk to."
Everyone was silent after hearing their sempai so angry, and Haruhi was the first one to speak.
"Tamaki sempai... you were away from your father for a long time right?"
"Y-yes." he whispered.
"Well, when you saw the other kids with their dads, how did you feel?"
He thought for a moment, then replied.
"I was upset, but I knew I would get to see my father sometime."
"Right. Well imagine you didn't have a dad, and all those kids did. How would you have felt then?"
"Miserable." he said, looking at the brown haired girl.
"And how do you think Saori feels?" asked Haruhi, voice gentle but stern at the same time.
"Miserable."
"Exactly. She wants her dad... you can't keep calling yourself her dad when all she wants is him."
"... I'm an idiot." sighed Tamaki.
"Hey, he finally realized." scoffed Hikaru.
"Took your sweet time about that one didn't you boss?" snickered Kaoru.
He grumbled something, and while everyone else was busy, Takashi had gone over to the door and knocked gently.
"Saori... can you hear me?" he called through.
He heard quiet sobs on the other side of the door, and that just made his heart wrench. He wanted so badly to hold her and wipe away her tears, and from where he was, he couldn't even help.
"Saori... please..."
* * *
I could hear Takashi on the other side of the door, but I really didn't want to open it. I'd pulled myself up from the floor and sat on the stool in front of the vanity they had in here. I looked like shit. My hair was a mess, my eyes were red and swollen, and there were tear stains all down my face.
There was no way I was letting anyone in here. Yet.
I stood, stifled my tears and walked into the bathroom that was right next to the room I was in.
I cleaned my face, brushed my hair through with my fingers and dried my eyes, I looked somewhat better, so I took a breath and walked back into the back room. From the sound of it, one of the twins was trying to pick the lock, but it wasn't very successful. I walked to the door, flipped the catch and opened it to see five concerned faces, one sorry one, and one very anxious one.
"Saori... I'm sorry." muttered Tamaki, rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish.
"No... I-" I started, but felt several pairs of arms wrap around me.
I saw Honey hugging me around my middle, one twin was on either side of me, and Haruhi was covering Honey and hugging me too. Which was rather strange. Kyouya smiled softly at me, while Takashi hovered nervously at the side.
Once these four had released me, he pulled me into a large, loving hug, with Kyouya holding onto one of my hands that just about escaped from his enveloping hug.
"It's okay guys..." I said, trying my hardest to hold my tears back. "I have all of you to look after me."
Takashi held me at arms length and smiled, Kyouya ruffled my hair while Tamaki patted me on the shoulder.
Sure, I was probably going to be upset for a while... but it would work out.
It always has.
crap, crap, crap, crap, crap...
I should've made a fight scene, but then Kyouya woulda been crushed... and I can't do that :(
