Author Note - Thank you for all the follows/faves and reviews. Enjoy the chapter.
We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain.
'I know I didn't ask before but…' Miranda hesitated as she walked into the room. 'Do you think the Chief was right to not pick me for Chief resident?'
Grace looked up with a spoonful of yoghurt in her mouth. 'Wha' you meem?'
Miranda rolled her eyes. 'In his position, what would you have done?'
'Not picked you.' Grace said after swallowing the yoghurt. 'Being Chief resident is more admin than medicine. You'd lose forty percent of your OR time. So no, if I was Chief, I wouldn't have picked you because you are too good to waste at a desk.'
'That's what he said.' Miranda said as she sat on Grace's bed. 'The other day when he finally had me cornered.'
Grace shrugged. 'It's why I'd only do Chief as a stand in. Too much paperwork, not enough cutting. Plus, it kills whatever little social life you might have now.' She smiled at her friend. 'You'd miss your baby too much. Dammit!' She threw down the small packet of biscuits she'd got to go with her hot chocolate.
'Here, give me that.' Miranda took the packet and opened it for her. As she handed it back, Miranda caught Grace's trembling hand. 'You need to have the surgery.'
'Not until I know he'll be okay.' Grace said quietly. 'They're getting better. I think, maybe a few months.'
'Will you still be here then?' Miranda asked bluntly. ''Cause I've seen your films.'
Grace sighed and shrugged again. 'I'll be here. I won't allow myself not to be.'
Miranda just shook her head and stood up. 'I know you're stubborn, but even you can't keep from dying if your brain gives up.'
'Watch me.' Grace said with a smile, making her friend leave with a chuckle.
Grace puzzled to find Tyler walking in with her lunch tray balanced on top of a waffle maker. 'Er…you shouldn't have?'
'I got it off Yang.' Tyler said with a chuckle. 'But it won't fit in my locker, I was wondering if I could leave it here until I finish?'
'Sure, sure.' Grace waved a hand towards the set of drawers in the corner of the room. 'Why does Yang have a waffle maker, and why's she giving it away?'
'Wedding present.' Tyler explained. 'She turned up this morning with ton of different things. Doctor Stevens is determined to get the mix master thing.'
Grace snorted and started picking at her food. 'Of course she is. Oh, could you open that window a little, I couldn't do it and it's a little warm today.'
Tyler nodded and opened the window for her. 'Let me know if you need anything else, I'm working here today.'
'A good day today then.' Grace said with a smile as he left.
'What kind of woman do you think I could marry and be happy with?'
Grace choked on her drink when Mark appeared at her door with this question on his lips. 'What?'
Mark handed her a tissue. 'There's this burns guy. Says he wishes he'd stopped being a bachelor, stopped playing the field so much. I just wondered what kind of person you think I'd be happy with. Permanently. You know me best.'
'Well, uh…' Grace floundered for a moment. 'I suppose, you'd need someone with a strong personality, that wouldn't that wouldn't let you be an ass all the time. But someone who realises that being an ass is part of your personality and knows where the line is. Someone who can go tit for tat with you easily and knows how to get you to be more than you show most people. Someone…determined and intelligent, with a sense of humour to match yours.'
Mark considered that for a moment and then grabbed his pager as it beeped. 'Got to go. So basically when I want to settle down, I need to find someone like you,' he said with a grin as he left.
'Yeah,' Grace said as her heart ached. 'Someone like me.'
Grace was just laid on her bed, watching the rain fall down the window when Tyler turned up again, in his street clothes this time.
'Doctor Mason?' He asked when he walked around the bed to grab his waffle maker. 'You alright?'
'Do you think…' Grace asked slowly. 'That maybe, I should stop loving him?'
Tyler was clearly surprised. 'Doctor Sloan? What makes you ask?'
'I don't think he'll ever love me the way I want…the way I need him to.'
'My brother loved a girl from the time he was fourteen.' Tyler said as he shifted the box in his arms. 'He never once went on a date with anyone. They were really good friends, not as close as you and Doctor Sloan but still close. And he was happy just being the friend she wanted.
'When they were twenty two, in college, they were involved in a car accident. She was hurt worse than him, so he stayed at her bedside. And one day he was worried she would die without him ever telling her the truth, so he told her, even though she was unconscious. When she woke up later, she told him she heard him and she had thought he didn't see her that way, which is why she dated other people. They've been married fifteen years and they've got four kids.'
Grace smiled at the romantic story. 'That's beautiful. But I don't see…'
Tyler interrupted her. 'Can you picture yourself with anyone else? Can you even think up a list of personality traits that doesn't match Doctor Sloan?'
'No,' Grace said after a moment.
'Neither could my brother.' Tyler said with a shrug. 'He told me once, that even if he'd been left alone, even if she'd married someone else, he would have been happy just being part of her life. Even without her loving him back.' He smiled at her and left the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
