Disclaimer: I'm stealing Shakespeare's lines again muwhahahahaha...oh and then there is my shameless use of the Tin Man universe and its characters, but that's such a minor thing, you don't mind that I don't own it, right?
Author's Note: You may thank Canadian Thanksgiving for this quick update – I got to study, finish assignments and procrastinate for three whole uninterrupted days. Helped that there was no turkey dinner for me, alas, but there was great beef stew and I intend to bake a pie tomorrow, so I'm good. Just a thought, but why is it that there are no holidays for the purpose of eating a great deal of beef? We always seem to go after the turkeys, we need a beef day.
...
Azkadellia did consider, in the far, far distant part of her mind that wasn't preoccupied with performing mental happy dances, that this might not be the best time to disturb the Consort with requests for hands in marriage. Something about the first sun still being in the midst of rising and the fact that her Othersider was bleeding...Lord Fastidium had actually had the nerve to nick Gulch's neck with his dagger while flailing about at the agony the cop's strange mace had induced. And the chest wound...rational thought was abruptly squashed by a wave of giddy bliss as the policeman shifted his grip on her hand and squeezed. Az liked the way their fingers now interlocked and he was smiling down at her and everything was so wonderful, how could daddy not be delighted with the news?
"This had better be important," Ahamo growled sleepily as Gulch prodded him into consciousness a short while later. Perhaps not the gentlest awakening ever, but far superior to anyone else's that day, and the eldest princess had never actually gone to bed in the first place. "Gulch?" the Consort queried fuzzily as he rolled over and squinted up at them, "What...Are we under attack?" he hissed, sitting up hastily as he caught sight of the cop's wounds.
"Incidental duel damage," Gulch told him reassuringly, waving it off, "nothing important."
"Nothing important?" Ahamo fired back testily, "You haul me out of bed – the second sun hasn't even risen – for nothing important."
The cop huffed, "I didn't say...oh never mind, I'm making a botch of this. Here, take this, sir, I figure you're going to need it."
"Sir?" the Consort repeated, staring at beer Gulch had handed him in bewilderment, "why are you...oh God!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening in sudden comprehension, "You can't be serious!"
"Oh really, daddy, is that your only response..." Azkadellia began in exasperation.
"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't," her Othersider said at the same time.
"Absolutely not!" Ahamo bellowed, slamming the beer down on the bedside table and cutting them both off, "I forbid it! No way am I letting my daughter marry some cop the storms dragged in," he bit out, swinging a leg off the bed in preparation to stand.
"Dear," the Queen interjected hastily, "you aren't wearing anything..."
Gulch's hand slammed down on the edge of the sliding bedding, locking it in place before it slipped far enough to give the eldest princess a view no daughter wanted of her father. The move brought the policeman, blushing either from anger or embarrassment, face to face, if not eye to eye, with the equally red-faced Consort.
"I'm not having it," Ahamo snarled, "If you think I'm entrusting my eldest daughter, after all she's been through, to you, you've got another thing coming."
"Daddy!"
"Yes, because cop's are known to be so unreliable, unlike carnies who are completely trustworthy," Gulch fired back sarcastically.
"Says the cop who made her absolutely miserable for weeks with his drunken blundering," the Consort hissed. The Othersider flinched.
"Daddy!"
"That won't happen again," Gulch rumbled through gritted teeth, "I'll take care..."
"I know it won't happen again," Ahamo interrupted acidly, "because you are going back to the Otherside right-"
"AHAMO!"
Consort and guard commander froze in shock while the eldest princess took a moment to wonder how mommy managed to look so regal wrapped on nothing but a bed sheet.
"Dearest, would you be so kind as to look, really look, at your daughter for a minute," the Queen instructed, drawing her husband's attention to where Azkadellia stood wrapped around Officer Gulch's free arm, glaring back at them mulishly. 'Mine', her posture stated far more clearly than if she'd tattooed 'Property of Azkadellia' on his forehead. Shame that would mar his face, maybe on his shoulder...
"See anything familiar?" the Queen asked gently.
The anger faded from the Consort's face as his expression became lost in a jumble of conflicting emotion. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, finally he managed to utter in a pained voice, "Must it be a cop? I mean, there are so many other men to choose from, younger men who aren't cops..."
"Oh yes, because there are just so many men just falling over themselves to court me," Azkadellia cut in sceptically.
"Certainly seemed like it to me," Gulch grumbled.
Az huffed, "They weren't interested in me, just the throne, besides it wouldn't matter if they were because...wait, were you jealous?" she demanded, acutely interested.
"No, I just find pushing people into ponds to be relaxing," he replied dryly, "Actually," he added reflectively, "it kind of was."
"Hmmm," the eldest princess hummed happily, smiling up at him.
"Oie!" Ahamo interjected hastily.
"So when are you planning on getting married," the Queen broke in, unable to contain herself any longer.
"Well," Azkadellia mused seriously, "Gulch said not tomorrow, so how about the day after?"
"Ah," the cop choked.
Winking at her future son-in-law, the Queen shook her head at her daughter. "That would be lovely, Az," she replied reasonably, "but I'm afraid we are going to need a bit more time than that to hold a proper ceremony. Where were you thinking of having it?"
"At Finaqua, of course," the eldest princess supplied readily, falling eagerly into a preliminary planning session with her mother.
"Hey," the Consort objected, "I haven't...oh forget it." Rolling his eyes in the direction of the cop who was watching the Royal Ladies warily, he muttered, "I don't suppose there's anything I can give you to make you go away?"
"I've already fought one duel this morning, kindly don't oblige me to fight a second, sir," the policeman requested urbanely, not taking his eyes off the eldest princess.
"You're not to make a habit of fighting duels!" Azkadellia decreed, breaking off her conversation with her mother in order to nip thoughts dangerous to the continued existence of her Othersider in the bud.
"Wasn't planning on it," he agreed mildly.
"Why is it that every time you call me 'sir' I feel like you are thinking of arresting me?" Ahamo's grumble interrupted.
"Guilty conscious?" the policeman suggested lightly, "Though it is a tempting idea."
The Consort glared at him. "This is why I don't like cops," he informed them.
"Annoying how they keep insisting on people abiding by the law," Gulch commented, nodding understandingly.
"You know," Ahamo growled, "I haven't given permission yet..."
"You didn't give Cain permission, either," Azkadellia interjected lest they start fighting again, "He merely asked for your blessing and threatened to elope if you withheld it."
"How do you know..." the Consort began.
"Cain threatened to elope?" Gulch demanded with the oddest expression on his face.
"Well," Az amended fairly, "actually he said DG would likely convince him to do so."
The cop's lips quivered. "She would, too," he murmured with a slight laugh, "Rope ladder," he added obscurely.
Ahamo choked. "Cain, Cain, wherefore art thou Cain?" he orated with dancing eyes.
"A carnie capable of mangling Shakespeare, who would have thought it?" the amused policeman stated with lifted brow.
"I am a man of many talents," the Consort replied humbly. Sighing, he added, "Fine, you have my blessing, if only to keep you from eloping with my daughter."
"Elope nothing," Gulch muttered as the ecstatic Azkadellia launched herself at her father, "she'd probably abduct me. Again."
Finally releasing daddy in order to give mommy a similar crushing embrace while the men exchanged an only mildly grudging handshake, Az then grabbed her Othersider's hand once more and practically danced out of the room. She was going to marry her guard commander after all and they were going to live happily ever after and...
"Well," Gulch said as they made their way down the hall, "all things considered that went pretty-Wah!" he exclaimed in surprise as the eldest princess suddenly tackled him. She probably should have chosen a better place than the top of the stairs.
"Ow," the policeman commented a few crowded moments later as he hit the bottom of the steps with Azkadellia on top of him.
"Sorry, sorry," Az apologized frantically, trying to shift her weight off the cop.
"Easy now," Gulch grunted as she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs, "Shh, it's alright," he added, wrapping a restraining arm around her shoulders, "just calm down and hold still a moment."
"Sorry," she said, subsiding against his chest, "should have warned you."
"It's alright," he replied calmly, "I imagine that's what I get for falling in love with a princess. Oof," he huffed as said princess shot upright abruptly and whipped around to face him.
"What did you say?" she gasped.
"That's what I get for falling in lo-ulp," Gulch attempted to repeat only to be interrupted as Az decided to put his lips to better use.
"I could stay like this forever," Azkadellia declared breathlessly several minutes later.
"Really?" the cop replied dazedly, "That would be wonderful but I happen to be bleeding all over your dress."
"What?" she shrieked, shooting up once more. Oh, she'd forgotten about his wounds, how could she? And she'd thrown him down the stairs. "We need to get you to Raw."
"Urgh," Gulch opined as she tried to help him up. "You know what? I think I'm just going to lie here a minute," he said, pulling her back down beside him, "I'm sure Raw will find us, he knows I've been stabbed after all."
"Are you sure?" Az inquired anxiously, he was bleeding and...
"Positive."
Chewing her lip indecisively, the eldest princess glanced up the stairs and back to her Othersider. He did look comfortable, sort of, maybe it was best not to move him. "What was the duel about anyhow?" she asked finally, deciding to trust his judgement.
Gulch hesitated a moment. "You know what," he admitted at last, "I have no idea."
Azkadellia stared at him incredulously. Of all the ridiculous...she couldn't help but laugh, it was just so him. Her Officer.
