Sollux felt light headed. He honestly felt as though he was holding his breath for way too long, when, in reality, he couldn't have taken and swallowed any bigger gulps of air. Eridan had this affect on him when he kissed his body the way that Eridan was kissing him right now.
Sollux tipped his head back into the crisp, white pillows, taking in as much air as he could so that he could at least attempt to catch his breath. His fingers glided slowly through Eridan's hair, grasping and tugging on those blonde locks in every attempt to press Eridan's lips further against his lower stomach. The heat of Eridan's breath as it soaked through Sollux's skin was an addicting feeling, and he couldn't help but to want more as he arched his back slowly and allowed his abdomen to rise against Eridan's mouth.
He let out a heavy breath, hoping ever so much that Eridan would continue with those lovely kisses and that skilled tongue of his just a little bit lower. The very thought made Sollux groan in anticipation, his body rolling up and then falling back down with Eridan's mouth. The Aquarius hadn't even gotten the chance to appease his boyfriend, though, as Sollux's phone buzzed loudly on the glass stand that sat right next to their King sized bed.
Sollux nearly jumped, entirely lack of any composure while Eridan was undressing him and tracing his curves with his tongue. He opened his bi-colored eyes and tilted his head to the side, looking up at his phone as it began to bounce across the glass. Eridan was too engulfed in the moment to even guess who it was, not caring too much either. His hands slowly slid up Sollux's sides, sliding over his ears and into the sides of his chocolate hair as he moved his body upwards, dragging it along Sollux's in a painfully slow fashion.
"Ignore it," he breathed, pressing a slow kiss to Sollux's lips. This kiss was followed by another, then another, then another as he inhaled deeply and pressed his hips hard into Sollux's. Meanwhile, Sollux had just barely managed to catch his phone as it fell off of the glass table, blinking away the lust that had clouded his vision as he took in the caller ID.
"I can't," Sollux murmured, blinking rapidly again as he tried to regain his composure. Eridan fought back with this unwelcome answer in the best way that he knew how, slowly sliding right back down Sollux's body, trailing kisses along the way.
His actions were as slow as his previous ones, his lips pressing meaningfully against Sollux's chest. His fingers slid their way up Sollux's thighs, slight pressure applied by his fingertips. Each kiss was administered tongue first, soon to be followed by Eridan's lips. Sollux's lips parted, eyes rolling shut as he gripped hard to his phone, his other fingers curling into Eridan's shoulder.
"Eri. Wait," he pleaded, pulling Eridan back up until they were eye level, smiling a barely-there smile as he pressed his lips to the Aquarius's. He focused on not getting lost in the kiss, though it was hard as Eridan tilted his face in attempts to deepen their contact. Sollux definitely cut it close by waiting until the last buzz, unlocking his phone quickly bringing it to his ear.
"Uh, yeah, hey," he managed, speaking out of the corner of his mouth as Eridan was busy still pressing kisses to it. He slid his hand up Eridan's ribs, concentrating solely on the way that his fingers dipped then rose as they glided over each defined curve.
"Sollux fucking Captor! How dare you fucking just ditch fucking everything and leave to go fuck your boyfriend down at the fucking bottom of the fucking country!" Karkat yelled, claiming every opportunity he could to include the word fuck in his scolding. Sollux found that ironic, considering his current situation...
"K-" he couldn't even make it to the second K, Eridan's fingertips finding their way to the sensitive skin where the inside of Sollux's thigh curved up to meet the rest of his body. His breath had cut him short, his moan thankfully swallowed by Eridan's most recent kiss.
"You know, I think that the worst part about it is that you didn't even have the decency to maybe tell me. I had to find out from Nepeta, who was watching your ugly boyfriend's ugly cat in your ugly apartment!"
"Ugly?" Eridan exclaimed in offense, eyebrows furrowing as he looked up from their kisses. Sollux shook his head, leaning up and away from the phone. He took Eridan's earlobe between his teeth before pressing a kiss there and whispering to him.
"You are definitely not ugly," he assured, tongue tracing the shell of Eridan's ear. "Keep going. Don't stop. Please."
Eridan's eyes fell half lidded once again at this response, unable to deny Sollux anytime that the Gemini begged him. He leaned down, pressing his lips heavily to Sollux's neck. Sollux tilted his head back, giving the Aquarius more room to work as Eridan took Sollux's own skin between his teeth and began to bite him longingly. Sollux swallowed, dampening his dry throat.
"KK, please tell me that this phone call is important," he rasped, his free hand sliding over Eridan's ribs and around to his back, fingers gliding up his spine and into the back of his hair.
"What the hell are you even doing, running a fucking marathon? Why are you talking like that?" Sollux's best friend snarled, his patience obviously worn and just about to snap.
Sollux parted his lips, though no reply came for Karkat. Instead, he merely gasped as Eridan's teeth broke Sollux's skin, forcing a quick jolt of pain up Sollux's neck. God, he hated that he loved how that felt. His hips rose up and into Eridan's, the bare contact there forcing Sollux's eyes shut once again. Eridan, meanwhile, was busy sucking away the blood that he had drawn from Sollux's neck, moaning into Sollux's skin. Sollux's fingers curled in the back of Eridan's hair, tugging there once again against his growing pleasure.
Oh, right; Karkat. Maybe he shouldn't have answered this phone call after all. If it really was important and he hadn't answered it, though, that would have been unfortunate. Then again, if it wasn't important, and he was simply delaying his pending pleasure by taking a meaningless phone call, he would be even more bothered. Either way, he need to let Karkat know what was up.
"Karkat, I'm currently writhing in desire under my naked boyfriend. Can I call you back?" he informed, immediately drawing a laugh from Eridan that made Sollux also smile. He tilted away from the phone again, pressing his lips up into his boyfriend's as they both struggled to keep from laughing out loud. It wasn't so much a kiss, really, as it was Sollux pressing his parted smile against Eridan's own. He got lost in the feeling either way.
"Yeah? Well, last night I was writhing in desire under Dave Strider. So, believe it or not, I'd kind of like to talk to you about some things."
Sollux's eyes shot open.
"What?!" he exclaimed loudly, shooting straight up with widened eyes.
If he had known that his head was about to collide with Eridan's, he wouldn't have pursued as stupid of an action as he just had. They both groaned in exclamation, hands flying up to cover aching foreheads as pain exploded through their skulls. Yeah, that fucking hurt.
"Ouch! Damn it, Sol!" Eridan whined, sliding off of Sollux and gripping at the curve of his forehead. Sollux's own hand covered the top of his face, though the pain was the least of his concern.
"Oh, so now I've got your fucking attention?"
"Holy shit, KK, are you serious? How the hell did that even happen?" Sollux exclaimed, eyes still wide in awe as he stared off into space.
Eridan, meanwhile, had rolled his eyes, not amused in the least. He grabbed a handful of sheets, gripping them around his waist as he slid out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Sollux, meanwhile, remained in bed with only a portion of the sheets draped over his lower half. He concentrated on his conversation as Karkat groaned in frustration.
"I don't know. I wasn't even drunk! I was just-Look, I don't know about a lot of things, Sollux. I don't know how I'm feeling right now, or what I'm feeling right now. I don't even know how I was feeling last night! I cant get a grip on my emotions because my confusion is clouding every fucking thing. I hate it, man. I hate that I feel this way," he rambled, voice going in and out as he probably shook his head and flailed his hands through the air.
"Feel what way?" Sollux asked, fingers curling into the blanket absentmindedly. It was silent on the other end for a while.
"I liked it, Sollux. I liked it, and that disgusts me," he admitted, making Sollux sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose before massaging one of his temples.
"You're upset because it was Dave, Karkat, I get it-"
"No, Sollux. I'm upset because I don't want to be gay."
Sollux's eyes widened, the response hitting him like a ton of bricks. Karkat was so accepting, Sollux never would have guessed that he would ever have a problem with something like his sexuality. He understood that it could be confusing at first, but he didn't understand how Karkat could view it as such a negative thing. There was nothing wrong with feeling, and it's certainly not something that anyone should be judged on or criticized about. No one should have to feel shame for feeling things that they can't control.
"Oh," he said, a bit dumbfounded.
"Don't get me wrong, Sollux, I have no problem with you being gay! I just-I don't want that to be me."
"I'm not gay, Karkat."
"Okay, seriously, Sollux? I don't want to get into this with you-"
"Yeah, seriously, Karkat, I'm not gay!" Sollux snapped back, glancing up to see a look of slight surprise on Eridan's face. It was obvious that he was lost in the current conversation.
The Aquarius crossed the room and walked over to the bed, lowering himself next to Sollux. He pulled the sheets that were around his waist over his legs as he sat down, placing a hand on one of Sollux's exposed knees. He tilted his head and looked at Sollux curiously, blinking as the conversation continued.
"For someone who claims that sexuality isn't that big of a deal to him, you sure are quick to correct me."
"I'm correcting you because you're insisting upon me a fact that is wrong, Karkat. I think that if anyone would know if I was gay or not, it would be me."
"Or Eridan," Karkat suggested in a snicker. Sollux furrowed his eyebrows.
"Don't sit here and insult me when you're the one that called me for help, KK."
"Oh, so now being gay is in insult? Is that what you're saying? That I was insulting you by comparing you to your boyfriend?"
"Fuck, yes, alright? Yes, calling me gay insults me! Honestly, I'm offended every time that someone suggests it when they see me with Eridan. In fact, I'm fucking sick of it. I'm not fucking gay, Karkat!" Sollux snapped in anger.
Eridan's hand immediately was yanked away from Sollux's knee. His blue eyes had widened and his lips had parted, hurt masking his features as he looked at Sollux in disbelief. Sollux looked over at him as he removed his hand, guilt washing away his anger on his own features.
"Oh, no. Oh, Eridan, I didn't mean-"
"Oh, shit. Is Eridan still there? Sollux, I didn't mean to-" Karkat began, unable to finish out of his own guilt. He himself could only imagine how Eridan was feeling right now.
The Aquarius, meanwhile, had turned away from Sollux and had begun to rise out of bed. Sollux was quick to lean forward.
"No, Eridan. Please, don't," he began, grabbing Eridan's hand to keep him from leaving his side. Thankfully, Eridan had paused. Though he didn't look back at Sollux, he returned to his place on the bed. Sollux looked at him sadly a moment before returning to his call.
"Can I call you back later, KK?" he asked softly. Karkat sighed.
"Yeah, Sollux. I'm sorry, though. I didn't mean to be such an asshole. I'm just confused," he apologized, making Sollux sigh as well.
"I know, and I'm sorry too. We can talk through things later, alright?"
"Yeah. Later."
Sollux hung up the phone, tossing it on the bed behind him as he scooted closer to Eridan. He slid his now free fingers onto Eridan's shoulder, his other fingers still wrapped around Eridan's hand. They sat there in silence a moment as Sollux's gaze traveled over Eridan and his features. God damn it.
"Eridan?" he said quietly. When he was met with no reply, he scooted closer once again, hand sliding slightly down his back. "Eri?"
"What?" Eridan replied, voice barely above a whisper. Sollux looked at him, biting his lip gently.
"I love you," he assured softly. Eridan tensed.
"Even though I'm gay?"
Sollux's gaze fell, as did his head. He gently rested his forehead on Eridan's shoulder, his hand still running up and down Eridan's back. This fucking sucked. He hated making Eridan feel like shit, and he couldn't help but to think that he was really fucking good at it.
"I don't care that you're gay."
"But you care if you are? You're insulted by the very thought that you could be like me? Offended by it?" Eridan snapped, though it was obvious that he was much more hurt than he was angry.
"The only thing that offends me is that people think that they can look at me and determine who I am entirely. I'm holding hands with a guy, so I must be homosexual, right?"
"And what's wrong with bein' a homosexual, Sol?"
"Nothing," Sollux assured, uncurling his fingers from Eridan's and wrapping his arms around Eridan's body. "Absolutely nothing. Homosexuality isn't my problem. My problem is that people are so fucking judgmental on something as simple as sexuality. Nobody looks at me and assumes that I'm a Gemini with a snicker and a roll of their eyes, but it's such a big deal with sexuality when, in all seriousness, we can't help who we love just as much as we can't help what month we're born into. Do you get it? I'm not offended when people title me as gay. I'm offended when people think that they can title me at all."
Eridan listened, taking all of what Sollux said to heart before releasing a heavy sigh. He finally leaned back into Sollux's hold, his own arms reaching up and sliding over Sollux's. Sollux lifted his head and looked over Eridan's face as Eridan spoke.
"I'm sorry, Sol. I've just been through enough when it comes to bein' judged on my sexuality. Trust me; growin' up as a gay made-man hasn't exactly been easy. It's not much more accepted now than it was back when the Mafia was big," he admitted, receiving an understanding nod from Sollux.
"I can see mob guys being pretty judgmental."
"You have absolutely no fuckin' clue, Sol. My dad absolutely flipped holy fuckin' shit when I finally came out. He was so afraid of what the other guys would want to do to me, not for what I'd done, but because I was a homosexual. Reputation is extremely important in this business, and mine was definitely judged and ruined in some eyes because of who I was attracted to."
"What about Cronus?" Sollux asked, immediately gaining a sad laugh from Eridan.
"Cronus? First of all, Cronus isn't gay. I don't even know if Cronus knows what he wants. Second, no one really respected Cronus to begin with. If he ever came out, it really wouldn't be that big a' deal. The only thing it would cause would be some serious shit on my dad for havin' two fags for sons," he explained, a sad bitterness dripping from his voice.
"Anyways, Sol, how did we even get on this fuckin' subject? What were you and Kar talkin' about?" Eridan finally asked, shifting his body and turning towards Sollux as Sollux pulled his arms away from Eridan's body. Sollux ran his hand through his messy hair in a stressful manner.
"He slept with Dave, and now he's afraid that he's gay," he explained, met with a snicker from Eridan.
"Kissin' a man or touchin' a man doesn't make you gay," he informed sharply, as if Sollux had just insulted him. Sollux furrowed his eyebrows curiously.
That wasn't exactly the reaction that Sollux was expecting. If anything, he expected Eridan to be surprised or excited about Dave and Karkat. Eridan was just like that when it came to relationships. Instead, he looked offended, and somewhat pissed off.
Sollux swallowed. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn't know how to say it. They weren't on thin ice anymore, but it could easily get that way again. Nevertheless, Sollux couldn't deny his curiosity any longer than he already had, and that hadn't even been too long.
"Tell me about you and Cronus."
Eridan immediately looked at him in horror. His blue eyes were wide, lips parted. It was obvious that he was wrecking his brain in attempts for a quick and smooth reply, but that opportunity had come and gone within seconds. Sollux just stared at him as he stammered.
"I hav-ve no idea w-what you m-mean, Sol. I told you already, nothin' happened betw-ween-I mean, there w-was nothin' that-"
"Eridan, you don't have to be afraid to tell me," he assured, laying his hand back on Eridan's shoulder. In reality, his insides were shaking.
The Ampora quickly bit his lip, eyes darting back and forth between Sollux's in search of any sign of judgement from his boyfriend. When none arose, the tension from his body was released and his shoulders fell. He looked away from the Gemini, squeezing his eyes shut as his hands formed into fists.
"I'v-ve nev-ver been more ashamed a' anythin' in my life, Sol..."
Oh, God.
Sollux had to look away from his boyfriend. Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ. He knew that something had happened between Eridan and his brother, but now that it had been confirmed, he was in complete disbelief. Holy Lord in heaven above. How, though? How could they seriously...?
"Were you two, like...? Like, were you a...?" Sollux began looking back over at Eridan awkwardly. Eridan blushed deeply.
"W-what? No, Sol, w-we nev-ver like, dated, or anythin," he explained, cheeks burning red. Sollux swallowed again.
"Um. Did you-"
"I nev-ver slept w-with him, Sol," Eridan said quickly, quick to look away from his boyfriend. Sollux nodded just as quickly.
"Good, good."
You couldn't cut the tension in the air with a chainsaw. Both of them sat there in the midst of complete and utter awkwardness, not at all sure what to say. This was just-Yeah, wow. After a while, Eridan groaned and fell back into the bed, arms above his head.
"It w-was more just experimentin' than anythin'," he explained, though Sollux wasn't sure how much more he wanted to hear. He sat there for a moment, twiddling his thumbs.
"Experimenting?" he prodded softly, eyes glued to his hands. Eridan bit his lip.
"Yeah. I, uh. I kinda' knew that I w-was gay. I mean, just my ov-verall personality reflected it. I'v-ve alw-ways been a w-whole lot more feminine than the other guys, but I didn't know-w for sure. Cro, he, um-He told me that he could help me figure it out."
Sollux let out a silent sigh, closing his eyes. He sat there a moment before laying back with Eridan, tilting his head up and looking into the Ampora's face as the underboss spoke. He was honestly dumbfounded, but he was going to try his best not to be a complete dick about this.
"Your brother's a creep, Eri," he stated honestly. Eridan glanced away.
"I try to convince myself of that. I mean, I w-was young and goin' through a lot, but that doesn't justify that I played along w-with him. I'm tw-wenty now-w, but I still feel like I'm thirteen around him. I guess that's w-why I'm such a stubborn dick w-when he's around. I nev-ver w-want to feel like I'm inferior to him ev-er again."
"You were thirteen? Jesus Christ."
"W-well, the first time," he explained, blushing again. "I w-was thirteen the first time. The next time w-was w-when I w-was-"
He paused, looking away. Sollux couldn't help but to feel bad for his boyfriend. He obviously felt guilty and ashamed and he obviously hated talking about this.
"W-when I liked you, and you didn't like me," he said softly, forcing Sollux to still. Eridan looked back at him, an unreadable emotion in his blue eyes.
"I w-was frustrated. Emotionally, and, w-well, sexually, to be honest," he admitted, looking into Sollux's eyes.
His gaze lingered with Sollux's for a moment before he rolled onto his side, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Sollux's jaw. Sollux's eyebrows shot up, his lack of expectancy disarming him as he blinked rapidly and looked down at the Aquarius. Eridan pressed kiss after kiss to Sollux's jaw and neck, eyes falling shut as he became trapped in his memories.
"I w-wanted you so badly. So fuckin' badly, Sol, I didn't know-w w-what to do w-with myself most days. The only thing that kept me from shovin' you into the lockers and kissin' you ev-very single time I looked at you w-was our fightin'. It grew-w to the point w-where I w-wanted to hate you, just because that w-was so much easier than lov-vin' you. But I w-wanted you, Sol. I still do," he explained, hand sliding up Sollux's chest as he kissed him quickly.
His kisses soon grew desperate, inserting a sort of pity and discomfort into Sollux. He didn't know whether Eridan was kissing him and touching him like this out of fear that he might lose him some day, or just to convince himself that he was here with Sollux right now and not Cronus. Either way, Sollux couldn't handle that.
"Eridan, hey, stop," Sollux demanded, though his voice was gentle.
Although it was apparent that it was hard for Eridan to do so, he forced himself to quit it. He slowly looked up into Sollux's eyes as Sollux propped himself up on his elbows. The Gemini reached out, dragging the back of his fingers down Eridan's cheek gently. Eridan bit his lip hard.
"It's in the past, Eri. Our fighting, Cronus, your family, all of it. This is now."
"But, Sol-"
"I'm with you, in an expensive-ass hotel, completely naked and wrapped in ten-thousand dollar sheets, proclaiming my love to you like Romeo fucking Montague. We fought and we loathed each other, but that's gone. You found yourself in a confused situation with your brother, but that's gone. You did things that you regret, but that's gone now. Right now it's just us, being sappy and pathetic and like two teenage girls at a slumber party with Jonas Brothers blankets and Justin Bieber pillow covers," he informed, smiling when he drew a laugh from Eridan.
"Justin Bieber? We're not that sappy, Sol."
"We're pretty sappy, Eridan," Sollux disagreed with a laugh, leaning forward and pressing his lips to his boyfriends.
Alright, so it was a pretty interesting start to their vacation. Rich hotel room, SeaWorld, beach trip, and the pathetic spilling of their feelings. Sollux finally got to know something a couple of weeks after he'd been informed about it, which was completely new for him. Normally he had to wait months or years for secrets to be revealed.
Either way, it wasn't all bad. Sollux wasn't about to start holding anything against Eridan, even if the thing between him and Cronus did creep him out a little. And he had to admit that he was enjoying this time alone with Eridan. Maybe this vacation would be good for them.
