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SECRETS I HOLD
FIFTY-SIX
Margo took the next bus back home. Thoughts ran through her head over and over until she reached her front door. Entering seemed like entering hell or entering into a forgotten memory she wished to forget, either way she wasn't happy with what was about to happen, or whatever was going to happen.
It was a shock to see Caroline open the door and embrace Margo almost instantly. "Oh god Margo! I'm so sorry!"
"Carol I'm fine-"
"How can you be fine? I know you're not fine, please Margo."
Margo had no intention on keeping up on the conversation. "Where is he?" Her voice sounded harsh.
"He's through here." Caroline gestured to the living room and Margo pushed past. "Margo!"
It can't be him. He wouldn't be here. Anywhere but here.
Margo rushed into the living room and saw the boy she wished she didn't see. His short black hair with a long side fringe and emerald eyes. His colourful jacket and blue jeans. He sat there stroking Dog Sam who panted without a care in the world.
Right there sitting on the sofa was none other than Elliot Richardson. Her childhood friend.
Her bully.
Margo didn't say anything. Her hands clenched as she tried her hardest not to scream. Elliot turned his head and his smile was instantly gone when he caught her gaze. The two seemed to be at some sort of scare contest, none of them blinking. That was until Elliot rose slowly to fully face Margo.
"Long time no see huh?" He laughed awkwardly. That made Margo even madder. "Ok I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."
"What are you doing here?"
"Look I know your upset-"
"UPSET?" Margo screamed making everyone in the house freeze. "You think you can just show up out of nowhere and say 'Hey Margo long time no see'?"
"Well…no…"
"What do you want? To make my life hell again?"
"Margo-"
"You just want to bully me again don't you? Didn't have enough after you got expelled? I got beaten up because of you!"
"Margo please just-"
"NO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXUSE!"
Elliot went silent.
"Why? Why the fuck now? After all these years you decide to show up now!"
"I moved away. I couldn't-"
"Couldn't what? Call? Text? Write a letter?"
"Margo I didn't know what to say."
"I bet you didn't. I was trying to forget what you did. How the fuck can I do that now that I know you're here? Why did you even bother? Is it forgiveness? Is that what you want? Well guess what you're not getting it."
"Margo I just wanted to see you-"
Margo pulled up her sleeves abruptly, showing her scars. "You see that dipshit? You see all that? That's because of what you caused all those years ago! You made me feel worthless!"
"Margo…I-I…"
"Get out."
"Margo please-"
"GET OUT!"
Elliot was speechless and seemed to be on the verge of tears. Why is he crying?
"What? You gonna cry now?"
"Margo…"
Margo couldn't take it and rushed out of the room upstairs with Elliot calling after her. She ignored him, ignored the past.
Margo slammed the door behind her and tried her hardest to calm down but the memories were flooding back and she had no control over her mind.
Please no…please please please no no no no I don't want to remember! I want to forget! Make me forget!
She collapsed onto her bed and allowed her emotions to take control as she cried her heart out.
Why did this have to happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?
Her crying stopped when she felt something strange nearby. She shot her head up towards her window and gingerly moved towards it.
Standing on the pavement was the same shadow-like figure from before, its fingerless hand reaching out to Margo.
"I know what happened Margo." It replied.
"Know what?"
"About your parents. Why you can't remember. Why you were sent away. Why you forgot."
"You…know about what happened?"
"You wish to remember. Don't you?"
"More than anything."
"I can do just that Margo. I can fill that empty hole inside your head. I can clarify what happened that day. I can put you at ease."
"You can really do that?"
"Yes. All I need. Is your agreement."
Margo felt herself be pulled into reality.
"Think about it."
Why did I forget…?
"Margo. You wish to remember. I can ease you of your suffering. I can make that empty hole full again."
"There was a reason I forgot…"
"Indeed."
I can hear it in my head. How is that possible?
A knock at the door made her head twist towards it, when she looked back the figure was gone.
"Margo." Elliot. He's still here. "Please. I just need to talk to you."
I can't avoid this.
Margo opened the door revealing her crying state to Elliot. Without words he instantly pulled her into an embrace in which Margo was too weak to object and simply allowed it and cried into his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Margo…" Elliot said quietly while rubbing circles on Margo's back for comfort. "I really am. I regret it. All of it. I wanted to talk to you but I was just too scared to say something."
"If your lying-"
"I wouldn't lie. Not anymore. I'm eighteen now. I'm not a kid anymore."
"I don't see the difference."
"I never knew that…you got beaten up afterwards."
"Well I was."
"I'm sorry-"
"Stop saying that. Your lying-" She couldn't continue her sentence and cried quietly in his arms.
Elliot pulled her closer, refusing to let go. "Hey, its ok. I'm not who I was all those years ago. It's alright."
None of them knew how long they were in that position for, it felt like an eternity.
"I missed you…" Elliot whispered.
Margo didn't reply.
