Much like the title says this chapter is told through a series of letters to Hana. I don't know how I managed this but probably because it was made of eight or so letters I was able to write each segment in my little breaks. It's the most effective way to show time passing. Also...tissue warning. I am so sorry, but tissue warning. I cried writing this.

Dear Hana,

It's been weeks since you left, and just now I am getting the chance to write to you. Well, something of a chance, I am supposed to be working, and Thorin is watching, so this letter is being written in secret. Whenever the king glances my way, I pull the records overtop, so forgive me if the words are a little smudged. We are rebuilding Dale, and it is no easy feat. The work is constant, and just when you think there cannot be anymore structural damage to a building, you find yet another crack in the ceiling or a shaken foundation. By the end of the day, my head is numb from thinking of ways to fix everything, and I imagine Thorin's must feel ten times worse. There are upsides though. We have reached another agreement with the people of Laketown, and given them ownership of Dale as their new home. It will work well. Their labours with us will be paid for (they need some monetary foundation again), and in the future they will serve as excellent trade partners with us. I do hope the building goes smoothly, right now there is still a chill in the air, being only early spring in the mountainside, and there I swear the workers must feel like wooden figures, because that's how stiff with cold I feel when we rush over to Dale to check buildings and progress.

Of course, the cold does not seep within our lovely mountain. My home is warm and welcoming and a very good sight at the end of the day. There were times I thought I'd be wanting more people around, having spent most of life surrounded by everyone, but I think I like having just Fili and I perfectly well. I'm never lonely with him, or even when I have the home to myself, taking up the desk, because it will be just a few hours until he's back. I like our busy days, and fast-paced mornings. We finally got used to living in a home with someone else and now our morning schedules don't interrupt each other, and we can move around one another with ease. But most of all, I love the evenings, when we finally have the time to breathe and put blasted records (like the one I keep having to cover this letter with) aside, and just be together. Sometimes Kili and Tauriel will come by, but most nights it will be just us, and I couldn't be happier.

Sincerely, Rue

Ps. The weather will be good enough for winter traveling by the end of the week, according to Balin, and Bilbo has decided to finally make his way back to the Shire. I shall miss him.

/

Dear Hana,

Thank you and Ander for coming for another brief visit to Erebor again, for Kili and Tauriel's wedding ceremony. I think it was lovely, especially since we managed to plan it all out in the span of a fortnight, what with the circumstances. I also wish to thank you Hana for being so understanding of the situation, and keeping hidden the secret of Tauriel's delicate condition. Kili and her are so happy though, that I cannot even think of what society views as good form and bad. Tauriel explained to me yesterday that elves view the topic a little differently though. Intimate relationships and marriages are essentially the same to them. In her views, she and Kili have been married in all but name for months that means. Kili was planning to ask her to marry him officially anyways. They did all the right things, just a little out of order it appears.

Of course, this detail did not make Thorin any happier. Kili decided to tell him on his own. He received a harsh lecture that was an hour in length. I saw Thorin after the whole thing, and his face was wearing such a dark scowl, it must have been awful. But Kili walked out smiling. Thorin had said he had to do the right thing and marry Tauriel. Which was exactly what Kili wanted to do, and Thorin knew it too. So it's not even a punishment, it's more like a reward. This, naturally, made Thorin all the grumpier.

The elves were in better spirit for the occasion I think. Most of them had been soldiers of Tauriel's, but Thranduil and Legolas (the King and Prince of Mirkwood) came as well. Thranduil regarded the whole affair diplomatically enough. Though he and Thorin spoke very little, they did tolerate each other and met on good terms. Hana, if I may say so, I think Prince Legolas suspected Tauriel's state. Of course, he did not say anything. He merely watched the ceremony, and met Tauriel as though they had never parted. I think he did harbour feelings for her, but because of that he wants her to be happy. There is no doubting she is happy with Kili. He may not approve, but he allowed it, and even spoke evenly with Kili, and nodded respectively when that brother-in-law of mine promised he'd take excellent care of the elf maid that is now my sister-in-law.

Now we will simply have to wait for our extended family to grow again…

Sincerely, Rue

/

Dear Hana,

I received word from Bilbo at long last. You will not believe what he said in his letter. The day he arrived back in the Shire everyone was surprised to see him, because he had been gone for long…and they had thought he had died! Bilbo had to hurry over to his house (Bag End he calls it, and it sounds as wonderfully cozy as my home on a rainy day) because they were auctioning off his house, and all his things inside it! He returned just in time to take ownership of Bag End again. Bless that hobbit, he is so very lucky. I still can't think of how he managed to get out of so many scrapes in the Battle. Fortune must run in his family. He had to sort out a number of things and re-establish his residence, and this caused his delay in letter.

I also have been learning Khuzdel (admittedly slowly, but still) from Bifur. The dwarf has likewise learned a few words and simple phrases in the common tongue from me. Of course, it's not enough for a conversation on either of our parts, but I am determined to learn, and teach Bifur. Bofur and Bombur are so pleased, and smile every time Bifur inserts a common word into his speech. Fili laughs at me when I mispronounce words, but always corrects me kindly enough. Thorin is pestering me with picking up my progress so I may work with more papers. I always snappily reply I will learn the language when I learn it.

Progress is being made in Dale. We have officially repaired our first building. Thorin is quite proud, as are Fili and Kili. We all hope it's the first of many. This has been the boost everyone needs.

I hope things are well for you, and I hope to hear soon of how Ander's travels to the Southern tribe went when he returns. Oddly, I find myself wondering how Varis fairs as well. To answer your inquires as to Tauriel's well-being, she is doing very well. Her stomach now has the most elegant little bump to it. It's the loveliest little round bulge, and Tauriel wears it proudly. She has a good deal of energy and the two of us often exit the mountain to go hunting together. Kili is so excited to be a father, whenever he kisses Tauriel now I notice that he purposefully lays a hand over her stomach. Of course, his excitement is matched in Dis (she's looking forward to being a grandmother hugely), and Fili and I, who are excited to be an aunt and uncle.

Sincerely, Rue

/

Dear Hana,

I excuse the absence of my letters over the last while. Thorin found me writing the last one while I should have been working and gave me so much grief over it.

I wish you could visit us here my good friend. Sigrid and Tilda can always come visiting if they so please, given how our people are neighbours. But without Ander, your journey is far more extensive. I hope he is enjoying his travels, and making a lot of friends with his outgoing personality. I know you're busy helping your grandmother, Mistral, but I have a brilliant idea, if you are able to remove yourself from your colony for a time.

I believe you have met Ori, one of the scribes here in Erebor (and coincidently a member of the Company I quested with). He's recently started a project of great proportions. Apparently there is a number of old texts in different, and varied dialects he's trying to read and write about, but translating them the usual way will take him years. If you were to use your gift to help him however, I think the process would go much quicker. I insist (if you are able to) that you come to Erebor, for a period of…six weeks? That will give you and Ori ample time to work through all the books.

You need not worry about what Thorin thinks, I've already suggested it to him, and he agreed that it would be useful. We have multiple guest quarters here, so if you do stay I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable. I've already told Ori I'd be writing to you, and I quite think he supports the idea.

Of course, it won't be all work. I promise I'll be coming up with endless distractions for you and I. We'll drive Thorin made with our afternoons spent enjoying ourselves instead of working, together. I do hope you can come now, because I've made myself too excited with the idea. If you do plan to come, sent the letter on the fastest bird you have, and we'll set up a room for you. Then it will only be a short two weeks or so before you're here.

As for the update on Tauriel, which I'm sure you're most interested in, she is still doing well. You'll be able to see her soon, and view her progress for yourself with any luck. She claims she can feel the baby move now, though we cannot yet. I asked her what it felt like and she described it as though she had a little bird inside her, who was just starting to wave its wings, without knowing how to fly. Does that not sound like the sweetest sensation in the world?

I'll try to patient as I wait for your next reply.

Sincerely, Rue

/

Dear Hana,

I miss having you here. There is something good and something bad about extended visits, isn't there? You're no longer teased with having someone come and stay for a few days, but you also become so used to having their presence so when they leave…you miss them terribly. I should thank you for coming, you and Ori finished with all the texts. There is just one problem…

You were here for six weeks, yet when I asked Ori how long it took you two to work through and translate everything, he said you did so well together that you managed the enormous task in two weeks alone. But I keenly recall you'd head off to work in the library every day, even the last four weeks after you finished. Which brings about the question: what were you and Ori up to for those four weeks?

Of course, I don't mean to pry, and you don't have to answer if you don't wish to. I loved having you here and delighting in our adventures and feeling the baby kick within Tauriel. I'm happy Ander has returned, and that Varis is doing well, and running her forces expertly to maintain her leadership of the Southern tribe.

Here we have had a bit of a set back in the reconstruction. It turns out the roof of one the largest halls is simply too cracked and unstable to be repaired so we will have to begin from scratch. So we've begun the slow dismantling of it, stone by stone, ever careful to avoid a collapse.

Thank goodness my evenings still have peace and serenity. Fili and I always curl up beside our hearth like we did the day before we were married, even though we have places to sit now besides the floor. It's so wonderfully warm in front of good fire. I know you'll probably blush when you read this but one time we didn't even care to make it over to our bedroom and simply kissed and tossed and turned and curled up in the blankets in front of our fire and actually fell asleep like that at the end of our evening.

As for Tauriel, she is feeling a little tired as of late, though maybe that's to be expected. I swear she is the most beautiful pregnant woman to walk the earth. I've heard of women with child glowing, but sometimes I swear I can literally see a light emitting from her. Her stomach grows a little every day, and every day Kili works a little more on a cradle.

Tauriel's beginning to feel a little anxious I suppose. She says in the time since you left the baby has not been kicking as often. I believe she's just gotten used to the feeling of the little thing stepping on her ribs, and is too occupied with the increased work load. Kili is telling her to rest if she feels like it.

I fear it may be a long time again before I write you, with all that needs to be done.

Until the next time, Rue

/

Dear Hana,

I'm worried. Tauriel and Kili's child has gone more still. The kicks are few and far between. I know that this happens at some stage of pregnancy but this is too soon. Tauriel spends most of the day resting, doing what is probably best for the baby. With any luck, this will pass.

/

Dear Hana,

The baby has stopped kicking altogether now. I don't know what to say or do. Tauriel looks worried, but she tries to keep calm, for Kili's sake, for the baby's sake.

/

Dear Hana,

I'm sorry I could not write to you for so long, and I'm sorry that I must write you now, with awful news. Last night, Tauriel's water broke and her labour began, far too early. Fili and I were woken by Kili in the young hours of the morning, very tired at first, but then we both snapped awake hearing the news. I went straight to Tauriel's side, while Fili waited outside the room with his brother.

I tried to keep her calm, and wiped across her brow with a cool cloth through the night. We had a very capable midwife with us. We tried to be happy and excited Hana. We truly did. But we were all worried. It was too soon. It too fast.

Tauriel braved the pain well for the first few hours. But later on, you could tell it had worn her thin. Dis and I held her hand and wiped at her brow and collarbone with a cold cloth, and spoke encouragingly. We could only wait and hope and try to keep her as comfortable as possible.

It took hours for her body to finally be ready. Tauriel had tired herself out, and Kili had paced a trench into the hall. The midwife checked her over again and told her it was time. Tauriel was exhausted, blinking blearily over her stomach at the midwife and struggling up to a better position, pausing as another contraction ripped through her and wincing.

It was painful simply witnessing the trial of delivering the infant. I held tightly to Tauriel's hand, which was crushing mine, and prayed for the baby's sake.

Hana…it was so small.

All infants are small, but this one, this dear little one…Hana he was too small. The little boy looked like he should still be growing within her womb still.

At first there was only silence. Horrible silence. Then…the child cried. It lived. The sound was feeble and quiet, but it was there. We all cried. Then we handed him over to his mother, cleaning him off, and called in Oin to check the baby over, and Kili to see his son.

I waited outside Hana. I waited for Oin and I looked him straight in the eye and silently demanded the truth. Oin's face said it all. It is simply too small, too underdeveloped. It won't live through the night.

No one is holding the baby, save Tauriel, and Kili, who always returns the infant to her after a moment. They all must know it in their hearts. If Tauriel is going to be mother for only a night then she will hold her child the entire time. I came to write you now because I can't stand it. I can't stand seeing their faces and hearing the baby cry, and Tauriel soothing it and her and Kili looking down at it lovingly as if it's the only thing in the world to them, because it won't be able to survive, and it simply isn't fair.

It's been five hours Hana. Five long hours, the infant still clinging to life, nestled in Tauriel's arms. He looks like Kili, with his hair. But his eyes…he opened them for a time... they are Tauriel's. We wait. We wait, our minds tense and endlessly hoping that the fact that it has clung this long is a good sigh. Our hearts are heavy.

Hana…our wait, with it's dreadful false hopes, has ended. The baby has died. I have comforted and been comforted, but the tears still flow from my eyes. I can't go back to the hall yet, I had to excuse myself. All I could hear was the sound of Tauriel weeping, and it drove iron nails through my heart. I ran past the forges, and Hana…

Kili was in there, with Fili and Thorin, their heads all pressed together, and their arms around each other in comfort. The forge was a mess. Tools littered the floor, papers had flown about, a table had been turned over. It must have been Kili, upset and angry with the world for taking that child away.

I can't write anymore, my hands are trembling and I can't see through tears. I must return to the hall soon, to hold onto Tauriel, Dis, Kili, everyone and cry with them.

/

Dear Hana,

We buried my little nephew today. I did not think my heart could break any more. Thorin was heavy hearted, and I believe he was thinking back to when he told Kili he had to marry Tauriel because she was expecting the child and now was thinking over the matter bitterly. I put on a brave face through my tears for Tauriel and Kili, but in the evenings I sob for them, and Fili has to hold me until I can finally stop. He looks heartbroken too. I swear he almost feels the loss as keenly as his brother does.

It nearly killed Kili to do so, but he turned the cradle into a little wooden casket. It looked so sweet Hana, I cry now just thinking of it. The sides still looked like the bars of a cradle, and all the corners were soft and sanded down, and there was a whimsical little pattern of rabbits and birds across the bottom. I've no doubt the little boy will sleep peacefully there.

I thought our days of tragedy had ended Hana. I cry realising that such is not true.

Sincerely, Rue

/

Dear Hana,

Pardon the length between letters again, I've had neither the time nor the heart to write you. Please understand. Everyone has plunged themselves into work now, to keep the thoughts of our tragedy away for a little while. If we keeps our hands busy, our minds follow and then it's easier to do something and not think of what has happened, even if it is only for an hour or so.

Dale is going through it's slow but steady reconstruction, Fili and Thorin have pitted themselves into that. Kili helps occasionally, but his first focus is Tauriel. After their child died it was becoming clear that she was developing a depression of sorts. All her energy was gone. It worsened, and he took her to Mirkwood to seek proper elvish healers. She was fading, due to her sadness.

Of course, we could not let Tauriel wither away. Nor would we dare send her to sail to the undying lands unless we had to. Thranduil offered a solution, and spared her though, but at a great price. He stripped her of her immortality. Without that Tauriel will not die from sadness, even if it pains her so. Tauriel will only live as long as we do now (give or take fifty years). The process of aging is new to her, and although we may not feel it, Tauriel does. She's adjusting alright to mortality but she and Kili still grieve for the lost child.

I feel tired. Tired and sick, and as though I could burst into tears at drop of a hat. Sometimes I'll sit down and cry when everything gets a little too much. I didn't know I could get so weepy, but I haven't suffered loss like this for so long.

There is sickness under the mountain too. It's effected anyone who is very young, very old or not as sturdy as a dwarf or healthy as an elf. Naturally, this includes myself. I am usually quite healthy, but then again, this is a dwarven flu so it's bound to be a little stronger. I've been dealing with it well enough, atop my sadness. The headaches spring up at the worst times, but the nausea is a little more predictable. Mostly when I wake up it flares, but if I take it slowly in the morning I don't often vomit. I have been able to subdue most of it with a strong cup of peppermint tea. I'm not sure how much more I can take with tragedy and work and illness.

I wish I had better news to give you. I wish I had happier news to give you.

Until I write again, Rue

Why?! I was planning to have it be all happiness, but then my friend reminded me that elves and dwarfs are very different, so it would have been likely that Tauriel and Kili would not be able to have children, despite the fact they would probably try to have a family. So, even though it broke my heart, I had to admit that was probably right. Let's use our tissues together.

Should Kili and Tauriel just live happily together for the rest of their lives or should a miracle happen? My heart says saying the second but my mind says the first is the more likely.