Days settle back into a quiet pattern for a few months. Thor has ideas and opportunities he wants to share with Loki, particularly the new treaty with Jotunheim, but Sif convinces him to hold off, to simply allow Loki the quiet space to love Jane and their growing baby. Seeing the wisdom in her words, and her threats to end him if he doesn't heed her, he puts his ideas aside.
Jane is six months pregnant when Thor knocks on the door, a gift in hand. Loki hesitantly admits him to the outer rooms.
He points to the ladderback chair, "Sit. I will get Jane."
"Father said he had the cradle delivered."
"It is in the inner room. But you will stay here."
Thor nods.
Loki returns to the bedroom where Jane is sorting through simple baby gowns on the bed, "Thor has arrived."
"Oh. What does he want?"
"It appears he brings a gift."
"OK. I'll be out in just a sec." She sets a pile of clothes on the toy chest at the foot of the bed.
"I'd rather wait for you."
She smiles, "Still not comfortable with him?"
"No. Nor might I ever be."
"I know." She abandons the rest of the clothes and takes his hand, walking with him to the outer room, her other arm resting on her bump.
Thor rises as they enter, "I apologise for not sending an announcement in advance. Sif is close to delivering our own baby and insisted that I not wait for when you might decide to accept me as a guest. Shall we sit?"
Jane nods and Loki pulls a chair for her across from Thor; he is too nervous to sit, "My lady. Please."
"Thank you." She sits, as does Thor. He glances at Loki, hovering protectively behind Jane's shoulder, and nods. Loki nods back.
"Do not fear, Loki. I mean you no harm. Nor should I ever again. I have been thinking of family as I wait for my own child. I cannot help but wish to restore what we once had." Loki opens his mouth to protest, but Thor holds up a hand, "I understand. It may never happen. I have done you great wrongs. But I will still hope that you might some day forgive me."
"Perhaps. But perhaps not."
He extends the box, "Might I offer you both a gift? Well wishes for your child?"
Jane accepts it, "Of course. How is Sif?"
"In a foul mood. She is in her last weeks, perhaps even days, and she is well ready to feel lighter on her feet."
Jane pulls the ribbon from the box and opens it, "Oh, this lace is lovely..." She holds up an infant gown that glimmers in the light, "But it doesn't feel delicate- what's it made of? It's so soft." She hands it to Loki. He gently caresses the fabric.
"Do you recognise it's texture?"
"Yes...and yet, no."
"I spoke to Father and he made a few contacts...it is from Jotunheim. Angrbotha found a woman willing to trade for it. I did not know their people made such fine lace from the threads spun by the giant spiders living deep underground. But they do. And they make these beautiful gowns for the children of their nobility. Angrbotha says you would have worn one similar when you were first born."
"You brought...oh my, Thor. This is a precious gift indeed."
"I did not offend?"
"No. Not at all. Thank you."
There are two other items in the box; Jane lifts out the smaller, wrapped in silk, and hands it to Loki, "You get to unwrap this one."
He drapes the gown over his arm and pulls the fabric away from a little silver spoon with a looped handle, "Is there a story to this, too?"
Thor nods, "It was the one gifted to Mother's mother when she was pregnant. And then Grandmother gave it to Mother when you were brought home. It is only fitting that she then give it to you."
Loki presses it to his heart and nods. Jane lifts the final gift from the box and pulls the silk from around a very old gilded book written in a language she cannot understand.
"I don't read this language yet... Can you tell me what it is?"
Thor points to the cover, "It says 'Tales of the Glories of Jotunheim' in their writing. It was in Father's personal collection. He told me I might want it so I could learn stories to tell your little one. I read it, copied down my favourites, and thought that perhaps the child's father ought to be able to tell stories of both his people, not just of Asgard."
Jane opens the cover and gently turns the beautifully illuminated pages, "This is really old, isn't it?"
"Very. Father estimated it had been in the library since before Bor fought the Dark Elves."
"Wow."
"Indeed."
Loki pulls a chair beside Jane and sits, "Thor, you have outdone yourself. I never expected such thoughtfulness."
"Sif said you might not want these things, as they are reminders you are not one of us. But I thought that they would instead be a bridge- a way for me to try to tell you that you are and to embrace that of you which we have never properly loved."
"Sif was wrong." Loki has not yet put down the spoon. Jane slips the gown from his arm and folds it, setting it back in the box. She hands him the book.
"Have you ever seen it?" Thor asks.
"No. I did not know it was there."
"You did not seek to read every volume on his shelves in your time as Odin?"
"I did not have time to read every volume. That does not mean I did not try. But I also ignored the books I thought were mere children's tales. Doing so, I missed this."
"Well now you may spend as much time as you wish with it. It is yours."
"Thor, thank you. But I am a bit overwhelmed by this generosity and you will forgive me if I do not know what to say."
Thor nods, "Then I will leave so you might sort your thoughts. Good day, Loki. Jane."
"Bye, Thor. And thank you. These are beautiful gifts."
Thor bows to them both and leaves the room. Loki opens his hand and stares at the little silver spoon.
"What're you thinking?"
"I wish I had not forsaken her. I wish she was still my mother."
"Why can't she be?"
"Because I told her she wasn't."
"And? If she's out there somewhere, don't you think the dead listen to us? Tell her what you feel."
"No. I am not ready to accept Odin as my father."
"I don't really get this paired parents thing. People divorced and remarry all the time in Midgard. Your mom is still your mom. Your dad is still your dad. Well, if that's how you all want it. And sometimes you get more moms and dads. But losing one parent doesn't mean you have to lose the other. How has Asgard not figured this out?"
"Asgard may have, but...I think this is my problem, not theirs. She asked if Odin was not my father, was she also not my mother? The implications were clear- one cannot go without the other. And that is how they were. So when I stepped away from him, I did also from her, willingly or no."
"But you don't have to stay that way. Loki...you're clutching the spoon to your chest like it's a missing part of your soul. I saw how you touched the sling Odin sent. This is something you really need to face."
Loki stares at the spoon a moment, then stands abruptly, dropping it to the floor. Without saying anything more, he walks briskly to the inner rooms. She can hear the bedroom door shut behind him. She sighs and picks up the spoon.
"Loki, damn it, just admit you miss her!" she calls, frustrated. She gathers Thor's gifts and goes to the dressing room. She hangs up the gown from Jotunheim beside the christening gown from her own mother.
There is a drawer in Loki's dressing table that he rarely opens around her, but she has caught him staring into when he thought he was alone. She opens it now. Its contents aren't new to her. They are little trinkets, things from his youth. She knows the stories they hold must have to do with his family. She wraps the silk around the little spoon and nestles it amongst them.
She knocks on the bedroom door, "Loki? Honey...please. Can I come in?" There is no answer, so she pushes it open. He is on the bed, folding little clothes. She places the book on his nightstand and sits beside him. "I'm sorry I pushed you. I just...I'm going to be Mom soon. I don't want your feelings for your own mother to make this weird."
He sighs, "You don't need to apologise, Jane. You're right."
"What can I do to help?"
He takes her hand, "Come with me tonight. To the gardens. Sit in the quiet under the flowering trees and let me talk to her."
"OK. Are you going to join us for supper?"
"Can we stay here instead?"
"Of course. If that's what you need, that's what we'll do."
"Darcy and Fandral will not be disappointed?"
"No. They know things are kinda weird right now with the pregnant ladies. Sif's grumpy as hell and I cry at the drop of a hat. They expect I won't be there and Sif will disown Thor at least once a day."
He smirks and nuzzles against her, "Glad to know I am not the only one with such an inclination."
She kisses him and the tension melts from his body, his hands drifting over her belly, her breasts, around to her back, and down around her thighs. She sighs and falls back on the bed, pulling him with her. He smiles, kissing her nose. She giggles. They cuddle together, the baby clothes forgotten, as they kiss and caress.
