"Is it really necessary?"

"There's really no other way?"

"How is this not barbaric?"

"Are others out there killing over territory and supplies?"

Nicole didn't hold back. She asked every question that had crossed her mind as she sat alone in the bath uncoiling the thoughts that had made home to her mind over the course of the last half day. She had been okay with Negan's initial revelation of killing a man who was endangering women and children; though now that she had seen him in action with her own eyes and more men had been killed it wasn't so simple.

Negan had responded to every question with patience, diligence and honesty.

"Yes, it's become necessary."

"No, I've tried other ways."

"It is barbaric, I'll give you that shit." He had nodded adamantly as he spoke. "But the rest of those people we've taken in and given jobs, food and shelter."

"It's a civil war out there. Everyone is getting more desperate for supplies. We cannot let them just waltz in and take ours."

Nicole tried to mentally take in the world for what it was currently - not for what it used to be. She knew it was only human nature to fight for food; to fight for survival. She couldn't deny that each supply run grew more despairing and difficult. For the hours they put out there on the streets and in the woods, the rewards were become fewer and fewer. Soon, she knew people would become even more desperate and would go for great lengths to survive.

All in all she understood it, but she simultaneously couldn't help but think there was some other way. Beating a man to death the way Negan had in front of his people was certainly a way to get people to fall in line out of fear, but she didn't know how loyal those followers would truly be after processing what had happened to their friend - regardless of how sleazy that friend was.

"I don't enjoy doing this to people," Negan stared across the darkened room at Nicole across a small coffee table that separated two parallel couches. "If no one wanted to attack us I wouldn't fuckin' dream of it. I want to rebuild society, Nicole."

She sighed, partially satisfied from his justification but unable to ignore her own conscience. "I know." Nicole could see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he was being honest.

"Do you?"

"Yes." She responded right away, nodding once at him as she did. "I just..." Nicole swallowed hard, not exactly knowing what she wanted to say. Her head understood but her heart couldn't fully allow her to commit to Negan's acts.

"Nicole." Negan stared across at her until her eyes met his. "I'm not going to try to sit here and sway you to think like I think. If you don't agree with it I can't promise I'll never do it again... but itis a last resort. I didn't want you to see me do that shit, and I didn't want to fuckin' lie to you about it either. This world is like constantly being stuck between a rock and a hard place... a really hard fuckin' place. I'm adapting the best way I know how - the only way I know how." He leaned forward, placing his forearms onto his knees and ran a hand across his beard, "I may not be doing shit right. I may be all wrong about this and it kind of worries me a bit that I'm able to do that shit as easily as I can... but I'm going to do whatever I have to do to protect this place. If people leave us the fuck alone then I won't get a drop of fuckin' blood on my hands."

"What if we didn't join you?" Nicole asked, "What if Simon fought back against you that night on the street. Would you have killed someone from our group?"

"No." Negan answered before the last word fully escaped her lips.

"Why?"

"Because of you," he admitted, "I would never have done that to you... and shit I like Simon." Negan managed a half smile, but quickly let it fade, "I'd rather you didn't know-"

"I want to know everything."

"Why?" Negan shook his head.

"Because I want to make my own decisions about things based on the truth... the whole truth."

"And nothing but the truth?" He smirked, purposely ending her sentence in a light jest that made her flash a fleeting half grin.

"Yes." Nicole nodded more seriously now. "I want to know everything."

Negan nodded subtly and then looked back at her. "If you don't approve of this shit... and I can see you don't-"

"It's not that-"

He held up a hand, "Let me finish... please." When Nicole nodded, Negan went on. "If you don't approve I'm not going to try to fuckin' persuade you to see my way. I can tell you why I do what I do but I can't make you see shit through my eyes... and as much as I do hope you can understand, I don't want you to fuckin' resent me for trying to force you to see shit my way."

Nicole swallowed hard and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked around the room for a moment. She knew he was being honest, and as much of a problem as she still had with his actions she couldn't deny the faith in his claims. The world outside was a battle ground, and she was sure the danger level was increasing outside of the walls and fences they were so fortunate to sit behind; to sleep behind.

"I know our safety isn't free," Nicole told him, finding his eyes with her own again. "I'm not judging you."

"I don't feel judged."

"Thank you."

"For...?"

"Thinking of me," Nicole explained, "And not wanting to persuade me into one thing or another." She let out a breath, "I trust your judgment, Negan. I want to survive in this world side-by-side with you... and Simon... and everyone else."

"Good," Negan said, "Because I fuckin' need you."

She raised her eyebrows almost lazily and rested her fist beneath her chin as she leaned forward. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He nodded and held her stare. "Do I still have you?"

"I'm the one that wanted you to stay here tonight, right?" Nicole managed a small smile. "I'd be here laying awake half the night if you'd have gone to the satellite building."

Negan let out a sigh. "I know."

"I'm glad you stayed."

"So am I..." He smirked, "But this was hardly a fuckin' fight."

Nicole smiled a little wider. "It might spark some future serious talks though. Isn't that worse, especially for a man?"

Negan shrugged and smiled. "I don't mind a good fight because it usually leads to some great make up sex... so yeah, fucking and fighting are a little more comfortable for me than a serious talk." He chuckled when Nicole finally let out a brief laugh. "But I can see how tired you fuckin' are tonight... and I can see you're still a little mad at me."

"I'm not mad," she told him but gave a nod, "But I am tired."

Negan continued to hold a half smile. "You want to go to bed?"

Nicole nodded and he stood up first, rounding the small table and held a hand out to help her up to her feet. She smiled and then laughed when he picked her up and brought her to the bed, leaving a kiss on her lips as he set her down.

"Get comfortable. Go to sleep." Negan smiled, tossing the covers aside so Nicole could get under them and then tucked her in as he continued to hover above her on the side of the bed. "I'm going to wash up and then I'll join you."

"Okay." She rested her hand over his on top of the comforter and held his eye contact again until he leaned down and kissed her again.

Negan winked and removed his jacket, tossing it toward the couches where they had just been sitting. "I love ya, honey." He half-smiled again. "Thanks."