Title: This Brilliant Dance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Author's note: The beginning of this chapter takes place at Roswell High School at the same time that Michael is in Judge Hawthorne's chambers. So no one knows whether or not Michael's been granted emancipation yet.
Chapter Fifty-One: Never Let Go
"So, have you figured out a good time to go shopping? I was thinking maybe tomorrow."
Tess turned as the annoyingly high-pitched voice cut across the conversation she was having with Trudy. Pam was standing behind her, a wide smile on her face. Trudy shot a sidelong glance at Tess, who hesitated a moment before replying to Pam, "I don't know about tomorrow…"
"You aren't backing out, are you?" Pam asked with false disappointment. "I was so looking forward to going shopping, I have no new clothes."
Tess glanced down at Pam's low cut tank top, dark genes, and expensive shoes. She remembered suddenly that Pam's father owned some big company… real estate, maybe, or a chain of stores? Hotels? Motels? Supermarkets? She couldn't quite recall exactly what it was, but their family was one of the wealthiest in Roswell.
"I'm sure you can find someone else to go shopping with you," Tess replied icily. "If no one will do it willingly, then you could always pay them."
Pam flushed and spat, "I don't have to buy friends."
"Of course you don't," Tess murmured sarcastically. She turned and started talking to Trudy again, completely ignoring Pam.
"Well, at least I don't have to depend on sympathy to get the teachers to like me."
Tess turned around and gave Pam a hard stare, her eyes narrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked in a dangerously low voice.
Pam bit her lip, realizing she had implied something she shouldn't have. She didn't particularly want to get into this discussion in the middle of the hallway, and so she said quickly, deferentially, "Nothing."
But Tess wouldn't let the subject drop. "Why do you think I use sympathy to get teachers to like me?" she pressed angrily. She placed her hands firmly on her hips and glared at Pam, and the other girl seemed to shrink slightly under her furious stare.
But Tess' confrontational stance also stung Pam enough for her to reply, "Well, given your history… you know, with the Hardings… everyone always feels so sorry for you…" She gave Tess a sly smile.
The argument would have turned nasty, and it would have done it quickly, but Trudy, realizing that both girls were stepping into dangerous territory, cut into the conversation. "You know, I'm not free to go shopping tomorrow afternoon, but what about today after school?"
Pam turned to Trudy with a look of relief on her face, but Tess glared at her friends and snapped, "Trudy!"
Trudy shrugged and leveled Tess a stare. She didn't want to start an argument here, not with Pam. Although she didn't like her, Pam was still dating Kyle, and that meant that she wasn't someone either Tess or Trudy could just blow off. Kyle was part of their group, and so by default, Pam was as well.
Tess sighed and acquiesced to the silent plea in Trudy's eyes. "Today after school is fine."
"Wonderful," Pam breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll see you in the parking lot at the end of the day then." She turned and walked away, silently thanking God that Trudy had intervened.
Tess watched Pam walk away, then turned around to say something to Trudy. She paused, however, when she caught sight of Ms. Topolski, standing at the far end of the hall. The guidance counselor was also watching Pam disappear, and Tess couldn't help but wonder if she had been eavesdropping on the conversation.
Unbidden, the paranoia from last night rose in her chest again.
She pushed the worry away, but made a mental note to discuss this with Max at some point.
She and Trudy walked away, and she wondered vaguely what time it was, and if Michael had been granted emancipation.
"What class do you have now?" Liz asked as she caught up with Max and placed a hand on his arm to stop him.
Max turned and looked down at her. "History," he replied. He glanced at his watch. "It's in ten minutes. Why?"
"I need to talk to you," Liz explained. Max raised an eyebrow and gave her a look that said quite clearly that he had other things besides her insecurities to worry about and couldn't this wait? But Liz reminded herself of her conversation with Alex and squared her shoulder's determinedly. "It will only take a few minutes."
"Fine," Max relented. He followed Liz as she guided him through the crowded hallway towards the eraser room. She stepped inside, and he followed, closing the door behind him. she squinted in the darkness of the tiny room and almost choked on the chalk dust in the air.
Max rubbed his hands over his forearms wearily and glanced at his watch again. He hadn't heard from Michael or his father yet, and he couldn't help but worry.
Liz, oblivious to Max's thoughts, said slowly, "I want to talk to you about what happened this weekend."
"Liz, if this is about the fact that I didn't tell you right away…"
"It's not," Liz interrupted. She licked her dry lips and then sighed and continued, "Well, it sort of is. It's just…" Suddenly she had absolutely no idea how to start this conversation. How could she demand that Max tell her what he thought of her and where they stood in their relationship? How could she ask him for explanations of his feelings and actions? It was so blunt and awkward and…
"Liz," Max cut across her thoughts, "whatever it is, just say it. I don't really have time to stand here in silence." His words were cold, and Liz bristled.
"What is wrong with you?" she spat.
"What's wrong with me?" Max demanded incredulously. "What is wrong with you? You're the one getting all upset about me not running to you the moment I found out that something was wrong. Honestly, Liz, Michael was in the hospital. I had other things on my mind!"
"I know!" Liz replied, frustrated. "I'm not saying I should have been the first person you called. I just… I'm your girlfriend, Max. I'm part of this group. You have to include me!"
"I am including you," Max defended himself. "I told you my secret, didn't I?"
Liz stepped back as though she had been slapped, and her back pressed up against the shelves behind her. She stared at Max for a moment, an unreadable look on her face, then asked in a quiet voice, "Is that all I am to you? Just one more person that knows your secret?"
"No, of course not," Max replied, shaking his head.
"Then what am I, Max?" Liz demanded. "You tell me you love me and we have a wonderful time at Homecoming, then you can barely be civil to me when I stop by your house the next morning. You insist that I'm part of the group and should be included, and then you order me to remain in Roswell while you go to Marathon after my best friend. What am I, Max? Do you even know?"
Max didn't say anything, just looked at the floor in silence. Liz ran a hand through her hair and studied his averted gaze. Then she shrugged, turned, and walked out of the eraser room.
After Liz had gone, Max slumped back against the wall. Liz had asked a very good question, what was she? He thought she was his girlfriend. He knew he loved her. But somehow their relationship kept running into problems. Everything would be absolutely wonderful, and then… and then it would hit a bump in the road.
It was his fault. All the bumps were alien related so they were all his fault. But they also weren't things he could completely control. He didn't ask for this, and he certainly didn't want it, but he was who he was, and he couldn't change that.
Not to mention, Michael was probably never going to speak to him again. The taciturn alien still harbored quite a bit of anger that Max had tricked him instead of just lending him his car. One more ruined relationship to attempt to fix.
It wasn't fair to Liz. He shouldn't have been that abrupt and cold with her. He knew that. But right now he wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to do.
He loved her. She deserved a boyfriend who would always be able to respect her and talk to her and treat her like more than just another person who knew his secret.
Dr. Drake was dead. Ms. Topolski was FBI. Somewhere out there was an alien killer who had now killed twice, maybe three times. If Ms. Topolski continued talking to Sheriff Valenti, it would only be a matter of time before he broke out of Tess' mind-warp.
Life was too complicated, too dangerous, too stressful.
He loved Liz.
He didn't want to let go of her. But he also wasn't sure that it was fair to her for him to keep holding on.
Maria felt a hand on her arm and spun around. She stared in surprise at Michael, who had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. "Michael!" She lowered her voice and asked curiously, "What happened?"
Michael smiled grimly. "I'm free."
Maria grinned and nodded. "That's great," she said quickly. She stared up at Michael and thought about her previous conversation with Sean.
Wait until you fall in love for the first time. Wait until you experience what we experienced. Then you'll understand. That kind of love… you don't let of it. Not if you can help it.
"Have you seen Isabel?" Michael asked, glancing around the hallway. "I wanted to tell her also."
Maria frowned and shook her head. Michael wasn't looking directly at her, and she wondered if he was avoiding her gaze. "Um, no, I haven't. I just saw Max, though, so…"
"No, I just wanted to talk to Isabel," Michael said quickly. He looked at Maria for a brief moment, then turned away. "Um, well… I guess I'll go look for her. See you around."
Maria nodded slowly at his awkward words and watched him walk away. The conversation had been short, but even so she could still feel the difference in the air. He was tense around her, and curt, and she wondered why. Ever since the conversation when he had told her that the kiss at Homecoming meant nothing, she had known that things would change between them. That he would change.
But she hadn't expected him to be so different.
How do you know when it is time to let go?
You don't. At least… at least you don't always know. Sometimes you can't even recognize what the end looks like because you never saw it coming.
She bit her lip. Was it time to let go? They'd never had a relationship to start with, but the attraction was there. And she… she cared about him. And she was fairly certain that he cared about her.
She didn't want to let go. But maybe she didn't have a choice.
"I want answers, Ms. Topolski. That was part of the deal," Sheriff Valenti demanded.
Ms. Topolski listened to the Sheriff's voice at the other end of the phone line and debated her response. She couldn't tell him everything. Most importantly, she couldn't tell him about Tess. He was her father, and even if it wasn't biological, he still cared about her enough to question whether or not he should be helping the FBI. But she had to tell him something.
"We believe that aliens may exist," Ms. Topolski replied bluntly.
"Who do you suspect?" Valenti asked excitedly. He was so close to finally getting his answers.
"I think you know the answer to that," Ms. Topolski replied smoothly. "Max and Isabel Evans and Michael Guerin."
Valenti's head began to pound. It was as though something was happening, some change was taking place with his mind. Memories that he hadn't really thought about it months came streaming back into his mind. Emotions, suspicions, thoughts…
In the past, he knew, those suspicions had still been there, but he hadn't really thought about them. Every time he tried to focus on one, it was disappear into the dark recesses of his mind, out of his grasp. But now they were back, and he could think about each and every one, and he couldn't help but wonder what had kept him from thinking about them before now.
"Michael!" Isabel smiled in relief as she saw him approach her. She pushed her way through the crowd and quickly hugged him. "What happened?" she whispered urgently.
"I'm free," Michael replied, echoing his earlier answer to Maria.
"Oh, thank God," Isabel breathed. She hugged him again, then stepped back. She pushed a few strands of blonde hair out of her eyes and continued, "That's great news, Michael. Have you told Max yet?"
"No, I… haven't seen him," Michael replied. "Can you tell him for me?"
Isabel frowned at Michael. "Are you avoiding him?" she asked bluntly. She knew that her brother and his best friend were going to have issues to work through, but she hoped that they would be able to see the other's point of view and move on quickly. From the grim expression that settled over Michael's face, however, she knew it was going to be a while before they were reconciled.
"I just haven't seen him yet," Michael replied. Then he gripped Isabel by the arm and lead her out of the middle of the hallway and into a shadowed corner. A few other students gave surprised looks at Michael's actions, but Michael waited until they had walked away, then turned to Isabel.
"What is it?" Isabel asked in an undertone, suddenly worried.
Michael reached into his backpack and pulled out a file. He pressed it into Isabel's hands and said, "I found this in Ms. Topolski's apartment. Hold on to it for me, okay?"
Isabel glanced down at the file and noted that it was labeled 'Atherton.' She didn't understand what the significance of it could be, because Ms. Topolski could not know anything more about Atherton than they did. But she did as Michael requested, and shoved it into her backpack, burying it between two notebooks.
"Have you told Max or Tess that you have it?" she asked.
Michael shook his head. "I haven't really had a chance to look through it yet, so I don't know how important it is. But Ms. Topolski's going to have an eye on me now, seeing as she… well, this is all her fault, so…"
"What do you mean?" Isabel cut in, confused.
Michael raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you know?" he asked bitterly. "Ms. Topolski planned to have me removed from Hank's care so that I'd be forced to leave Roswell. She's the reason all this happened."
Isabel felt a hot anger fill her stomach at his words, but she forced herself not to jump to any rash decisions. "Well, she failed," Isabel pointed out, still wishing that she could do something to teach Ms. Topolski a lesson.
"Yeah…" Michael agreed. "But since it was her plan, I think it is better if I don't keep the file with me. Just in case."
Isabel shrugged. "I'll hold onto it. Don't worry about it."
"Thanks. Um…" Michael hesitated for a moment, then said slowly, "I need to ask you a really strange question."
Isabel raised an eyebrow. "Okay," she said curiously, wondering what it was about.
"Are you… have you… have you dreamt about me at all?" Michael asked finally.
Isabel stared at him in complete shock. The color rose in her cheeks, and her eyes widened slightly as she felt heat suffuse her face. Whatever questioned she had been expecting, it wasn't that.
"I guess I do sometimes," Isabel said after thinking over the question for a moment. "I dream about us, and about you and Max and Tess, and that sort of thing…"
"No, I mean… I mean about me. Just me," Michael cut her off, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other. "Like, um… the two of us. Together."
Isabel stared at him for a moment, then shook her head slowly, confusion etched into her face. "Not anymore than I dream about me and Max or me and Tess," she replied. She knew it wasn't answering the question, because she knew what Michael had really meant. But if she answered that question, if she told him the truth, everything would change. And she couldn't let that happen.
At first, after Max had healed Liz and Michael had started hanging out with Maria, she had worried that she was loosing her family. They had all broken off into pairs, Max and Liz, Michael and Maria. Even Tess was sometimes closer to Kyle than to her other family.
But then somehow, it had changed. And Michael had come back to her, and Max had come back to her, and it was the three of them again.
Except that Michael was not talking to Max.
And if she told Michael what she dreamt about at night, then their relationship would change as well. She didn't want that to happen, she didn't want to complicate things. She wanted him to stay her best friend and her family, and not become anything else. Anything else would just be too complicated.
She didn't want complicated right now.
Tess had just asked her to go shopping that afternoon, and she had agreed. That was complicated enough.
Michael met Isabel's gaze and nodded slowly. He decided not to continue that particular line of questioning because he saw something in Isabel's eyes when he had mentioned the word 'together.' Some emotion had flickered through her eyes so quickly he had barely been able to recognize it, but he had. And he knew what it was.
Isabel had just lied to him.
She had pretended not to understand the significance of the word 'together.' She had pretended not to understand his question.
She had lied.
He was dreaming about her, and she was dreaming about him.
And suddenly he wanted to get as far away from Isabel as physically possible.
Maria had stopped dead in her tracks as she listened to Michael's question. She had perfectly understood the emphasis and stress he had put on the word 'together,' and she knew what it meant.
Michael was dreaming about Isabel.
Romantically.
That was why he had gone to Homecoming with Isabel. Not to make Maria jealous, but because he actually wanted to go with Isabel. That was why he had said their kiss meant nothing. Because it actually did mean nothing.
He wanted to be with Isabel.
She didn't hear Isabel's response to Michael's question, so she didn't know if the other alien had been dreaming about Michael. But… well, Isabel had agreed to go to Homecoming with Michael, so that meant something, didn't it? And they were close… Isabel was stunning, and powerful, and his family… not to mention that they were actually the same species…
Neither Michael or Isabel had seen Maria yet, and for that she was grateful. She turned quickly, and walked away, not wanting to be anywhere near Michael at the moment.
How do you know when it is time to let go?
You don't. At least… at least you don't always know. Sometimes you can't even recognize what the end looks like because you never saw it coming.
Next Chapter: The Devil Wears Prada
Due: Sun 11/19
