Windows of the Soul: Part Fifty-Three

Too late at night, no comment. Enjoy, I guess.


Actually, this is a rather strange situation…

I suppose I should be social, though.

"You know, this is a rather strange situation," I said quietly, glancing at Natsuki. "Especially for my family."

"Really? It seems like a normal activity to me," Natsuki replied, looking around thoughtfully.

"That's rather the point, you see," I said teasingly. "We never exactly made a habit of doing normal things together, or at least, not in this. We went to temples from time to time, as I've said before, and other areas of historical interest. But it was never a matter of spending time together for its own sake."

"Because of your father?" Natsuki asked, frowning. "That's very typical of him."

I shrugged slightly. "Well, it's also because of my mother, after all. I'm not really complaining, just making an observation."

"I see. And if you had the choice, would you have enjoyed doing things like this more often?" Natsuki asked. "That's different again, right?"

"You're right, of course. And I might have enjoyed that, but it can't be helped. And I didn't really think of it at the time, either." I frowned. "I suppose what I'm saying is I'm surprised and interested in what we're doing now."

Natsuki chuckled. "That figures, if only for you. Like I said, it's normal, isn't it? I've never really done it either, but it's normal."

"I suppose so," I admitted. "But it still interests me, all the same. How about you?"

"Not really," Natsuki replied casually, stretching. "Well, maybe just a little."

"That's very honest of you. Isn't it normal to flatter my opinions a little more with your reply, too?" I asked playfully.

"Would I ever lie to you?" Natsuki asked, just as innocently.

"No, I suppose not," I conceded. "It's one of the more equivocal points of your character. But it's also rather charming, so I can't complain."

"Only a pretty girl could say that," Natsuki quipped, smirking at me.

"Is that so?" I asked. "I hadn't really thought about it…"

"Where should we go?" Mai asked loudly, looking back at us.

"Under a tree or some other shade would be good, for preference," I suggested instantly. "It's a hot day."

"Honestly, this is really the first time you've been out in several days," Natsuki said reproachfully. "Afraid of ruining your complexion or something?"

"I'm just showing proper concern," I remarked, adjusting the set of my hat with my free hand.

"One of those trees isn't a bad idea," Saaya agreed.

"Hmm. Trees would be good," Mikoto added, with a tone of finality. "They'll provide more cover against the sun."

"Alright, point established," Mai said. "Unless anyone complains I'm planning to avoid the benches, though. They're all taken anyway, and there's not much space. Is that fine?"

"We'll leave it to you," Otousama said crisply, almost without looking. His own gaze travelled over the park with his typical, abnormal focus. I wonder what he was looking for.

"Then let's go," Mai said. "You have the blankets, right, boys?"

"You know what, I don't," Tate said. "I'm already carrying all this, so Shiho took them from me."

"There's no need to do that," Mai said. "You should just let him carry everything, right?"

"I really don't care either way," Shiho muttered, with her characteristic glare.

"Well, if you insist."

"That reminds me, actually," Natsuki said suddenly, glancing sharply at me. "Are you actually carrying anything?"

I shook my head. "Not really, no."

"And you didn't do any cooking, either!" Natsuki grumbled, pouting. "Why are you the only one not doing any work again?"

"I wouldn't venture to speculate," I said lightly. "But I'm happy to carry something if you like."

"Not really. I'm just curious, because somehow, you're never the one doing work." Natsuki folded her arms. "One day you're doing to teach me that Zen art of yours. I could use it."

"I really don't think it's anything so grand," I began weakly.

"Natsuki, Shizuru-can is one of our very kind hosts, so she's off the hook," Mai said, waving a finger. "I told you that before, didn't I?"

"I know that, but it's not like she does much either," Natsuki groused.

"Well, that's right, and in any case there's no need to go so far," I said reasonably. "As I said, I'm fine with anything Natsuki wants me to do."

"I'm sure of that," Reito remarked from behind us. "But Natsuki-san has a point. There are plenty of other ways we can thank them."

"Then we can do them too," Mai said decisively. "And it's not like you're even carrying very much, Natsuki. Or, in fact, anything."

"I helped in the kitchen, though," Natsuki complained.

"So did I," Tate remarked. "That didn't help me, damnit."

"You don't count," Natsuki remarked, with luxurious disdain.

"Why does everyone bully me?" Tate demanded. "You guys are all evil!"

I touched her shoulder briefly, smiling. "You shouldn't tease him, Natsuki."

"Who said anything about teasing?" Natsuki asked, turning her head away briefly and trying not to smile.

"We could always do something different on the way back," Reito suggested. "That would be more reasonable, no?"

"I'll think about it, but it really isn't that important," Mai returned. "Just as long as it gets carried here safely."

I looked thoughtfully back at my parents, who were talking quietly to each other. Undoubtedly about an interesting story or an anecdote. I can't afford to be so paranoid as to find any other meaning in it. Spouses are allowed to talk.

Mikoto caught my eye and nodded purposefully, still walking with a giant parasol shouldered like a rifle. I think she took Reito a bit too seriously, after all.

"What's up? Under the weather?" Natsuki teased.

"Ara. No, just thinking a little," I replied. "I was a little worried about Okasama, but it looks like she'll be fine."

"You know, I'm inclined to agree with her," Natsuki said, facing forwards again. "She can look after herself, right? You all can."

"That's certainly true," I said. "But she's not entirely independent, either. One has to think about it."

"You always think too much anyway."

We ended up beneath a tree, predictably enough. I was very scrupulous about sitting on the blanket, of course. White really stains. And Natsuki wasn't, of course. Her clothes probably stain too but that's never really stopped her before, after all. Everyone else sat around us, with Okasama holding court under the shadows of the tree itself. Saaya and Otousama sat on either side of her, adding to that effect, but I think it was Mikoto standing over her as an honour guard that made it most striking. Like her brother, she has hidden depths, though just what those depths are hiding differ between the two of them.

Her vigilance was also like the proverbial elephant, at least insofar as no one was quite sure how to broach the subject. Mai busied herself with the food and avoided the problem altogether, while Reito looked as if this was perfectly normal. As more of us sat down, though, it became harder not to say something. Perhaps I should…

"Aren't you going to sit down, Mikoto-chan?" Okasama asked pleasantly.

Without any hesitation. I still have a long way to go.

"That could be dangerous," Mikoto said briefly.

"It's fine, Mikoto," Reito said easily. "You can sit down for now."

"Okay." Mikoto stuck her parasol into the ground with one hand, then jumped over the blanket, landing deftly next to her brother. "I'll keep watching, though."

Shiho snorted. "Just calm down and eat, already. I worked hard on that, so you should appreciate it."

"Shiho made food?" Mikoto asked curiously.

"Yes, I did. Well, some of it, anyway."

"Hmm." Mikoto leaned closer, staring at the other girl's face. "That's pretty amazing. I like people who can make food!"

"It's not a big deal or anything," Shiho muttered, looking away.

"Seriously," Natsuki suggested. "I did some, too, but not really. Just think of it as Mai's food."

"That's not true," Mai said reproachfully. "You all worked hard."

"With mixed results," Natsuki added casually. "You don't need to flatter me or anything."

"Speak for yourself, I don't mind being flattered," Tate said. "That stuff wasn't easy."

"The experience certainly seems to have traumatised you," Reito teased.

"I'm sure we'd like to hear all about it," I added, smiling pleasantly. "It would add colour to the whole experience."

"As if we'd let you," Natsuki warned. "This is going to be classified information, forever."

"My, now I'm really interested…"

"Please have no expectations," Shiho said, in her best tired look.

"Well, we can always ask the cook later," Reito said thoughtfully. "There's no need to make much of a fuss now. Truth will out, as it were."

"Of course," I said pleasantly.

"Honestly, do we have to talk about this?" Natsuki asked irritably.

"Hmm. Tangentially, Shizuru, did I ever tell you about my experiments with cooking?" Okasama asked politely.

"Not that I recall," I replied, smiling. "But that sounds interesting, even though I think I can guess the outcome…"

"It was long before you were born, when for various reasons circumstances befitted that. Partly because she wasn't sure what a housewife should do." Saaya smiled. "But after a few weeks, she left everything to me, of course."

"That's not fair," Okasama protested. "We all agreed that was best, after all."

"Quite. That was the admission I was trying to avoid, actually…"

"Those were certainly interesting days," Otousama said philosophically. "But that's all rather besides the point. Instead of talking of food, shall we just eat, instead?"

"I was waiting for someone to say that," Mai said. "In any case, we've got plenty, so eat up."

I looked at the food arrayed before us, both traditional and western. Appropriate enough for my family. Plus there were, apparently, mayonnaise sandwiches. I carefully said nothing about that, going for something safer-looking. "Well, to dwell on this one more time, you've all worked hard, haven't you? Thank you."

"This is nothing," Mai said sincerely.

"Seriously, it isn't," Natsuki said briefly, grabbing one of her own special sandwiches and taking a satisfied bite.

"Hmm. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Reito remarked, looking up at the sky. "Does anyone else remember the last time?"

"I remember, I remember!" Mikoto said through a mouthful of something. She swallowed. "There was a lot of food, and everyone else too!"

"In order of priority," Natsuki quipped quietly. I tried not to smile.

"That really was a while ago, wasn't it?" Mai asked.

"There were a lot more people there, though. Wasn't Suzushiro-san there as well?" I asked innocently.

"I take it you mean that one," Otousama said with distaste.

"There was only one Suzushiro at my school, remember?" I said.

"Ha. One too many," he added with characteristic bluntness.

"You know our Haruka Suzushiro?" Reito asked curiously. It's good to see that he doesn't know everything about me.

"Somewhat. The family are friends of our family," Otousama said, making that sound like a euphemism for lice.

"Now, dear, Suzushiro-chan is a perfectly decent, upstanding girl," Okasama said reproachfully. "You shouldn't bring her into your little feud."

"It's not a feud. Nothing so dramatic," Otousama said dismissively. "In any case, I was just curious. That's all."

Something tapped me on the leg. When I looked down, I saw Natsuki, who was already lying down outright. "Pass me another sandwich?"

I chuckled. "You've made yourself comfortable."

"I quite liked Suzushiro-san, myself," Reito said pleasantly. "She was a very able subordinate, wouldn't you say, Shizuru-san?"

"Hmm?" I blinked, looking up. "I suppose so, yes. She went too far from time to time, but she was, at the very least, energetic."

"There you go again," Mai said. "You three should just play nice, already. It's all a bit silly really, isn't it?"

"We're not intending to be nasty," I said easily. "If I come across that way, though, I apologise."

"This just sounds like human resources work," Otousama said.

Haruka is someone I remember occasionally. To be frank, I'd have preferred to fight her rather than Yukino. But she was never honest with herself, either, so I'm not sure whether the outcome would have been any different. I still wouldn't have the excuse of genuine self-defence.

"So you weren't lying about the family thing," Natsuki mused from her prone position. "Well, I believed you anyway. Rich people form a hive mind, everyone knows that."

"Of course," I said amicably, passing her a sandwich. "Here."

"Thanks." Natsuki took it. "Well, I don't disagree. Anyone who ever missed lessons wouldn't, of course… and before you say it, whether I deserved it or not doesn't matter at all."

"Well, I can't speak for Shizuru-san, but personally, I'm recalling her rather nostalgically," Reito remarked. "Her presence always made life more interesting for everyone. I had a soft spot for Yukino-san, as well."

"Well, she was pretty cute," Tate said wryly. "If you like glasses."

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I suspect that wasn't my sense," Reito said, waving a hand. "She has the sense of being someone who should be protected… or would be like that, if it wasn't for Haruka."

"Hmm. Yukino. I remember," Okasama said decisively. "The very mousy girl, right?"

"That's probably the one, yes," Reito remarked.

"I've met her once or twice. A charming, polite girl, and quite the foil for Suzushiro-chan. So they're still friends?" Okasama smiled. "It's good when people can stay together over the years, though new friends are fine too."

"Yep. What are those two doing, anyway?" Mai asked thoughtfully. "I haven't heard in a while…"

"I'm not sure," Reito said. "Perhaps spending time at Suzushiro-san's house?"

"Ara, Ara. Those two do remind me of our two, after all. Don't you think, Saaya?"

"I was thinking much the same," Saaya quipped, leaning on her hand and glancing at me. "It's a little worrying, our families have too many parallels as it is."

Natsuki sighed. "Another sandwich, please? I'm not listening, by the way."

"Not a bad approach to take, perhaps," I said.

"Yep. You should try it, too." She grinned at me. "This is pretty comfortable."

"Hmm," I said, mock thoughtful. "But if I do that too, who brings you sandwiches?"

"It would be good if they were here, too, though," Mikoto said. "Haruka loves playing tag! And Takumi and Akira, too! And Akane and Chie and Aoi and Nao and-"

Reito coughed. "I don't think we have enough room."

"We do. I counted." Mikoto grinned. "I'm not asking, though. That would be rude, right?"

"Mikoto, do you want some sushi?" Mai asked. "I made some of your favourite."

"Really?" she asked, head shooting round.

"Yep. Here. Eat up."

"She gets all that to herself?" Tate complained. "I'm not so lucky…"

"Oh, stop whining. If you were worried, you should have made yourself something nice."

"I can't, though! I'm not exactly hiding that fact!"

"Do you want some, Shiho?" Mikoto asked. "I'll share it with you."

"Me too," Reito said, stealing a piece from the box. He glanced at me, looking amused.

"Come on," Natsuki suggested. "What's wrong? Afraid you're going to offend someone?"

"Like I said, I'm more worried about the food," I replied.

"Just grab a bento and pull it over here, then."

"But that would be rude."

Natsuki snorted. "Really? But we have a precedent, at least." She pushed herself up, reaching for one of the boxes. "Well, whatever. Now you have no excuses, right?"

"This is going to stain my dress," I said.

"God forbid," Natsuki said, rolling her eyes. She fell back again herself, putting a hand behind her head. "Just try it."

I complied, somewhat less certainly. To be honest, it takes quite some composure to lie down or otherwise make yourself vulnerable around other people who aren't doing the same thing. But that's probably exactly the point Natsuki makes by doing this all the time. I'm not afraid of you… or something.

"So?" Natsuki asked, glancing sidelong at me.

"I suppose it's rather relaxing," I admitted. "Is that why you like doing this?"

"Not really. It just lets you look at a beautiful sky." Natsuki smirked, regarding me with lively green eyes. "How was that? Did it sound kinda cool?"

"Just a little," I replied, amused.

"Right? But it's kinda true, as well." Natsuki tilted her head, looking up at the sky again. "When was the last time you actually looked at the sky and the clouds? It's been a long time, for me."

"Hmm." I turned my head and looked up as well. "It's been some time. I'm more familiar with the stars, though."

"Stars don't move. Well, they do. But they're basically predictable." Natsuki frowned. "Clouds aren't, or if they are, it's so complex you might as well give up. Isn't that more interesting?"

"You're right." I paused for a moment. "Is it really okay, doing this right after eating?"

"Man, enough with the small stuff already."

I chuckled. "Ara. I'm just teasing Natsuki. Is she mad?"

"Not really," Natsuki replied. "She basically knows that there's worse to come, after all."

"Hmm. You may have a point." I looked up again. "But you aren't wrong, either. It's been a while, and it is beautiful."

"Ha. Now you go all mushy on me. Doesn't convention dictate we try and spot shapes at this point?"

"Isn't that a little vulgar?" I asked playfully.

"Not really. The clouds don't have feelings or anything." Natsuki narrowed her eyes slightly, shading them with her left hand. "Hmm. You see that one over there? It kinda looks like a ship."

"It looks more like a mass of smoke to me," I said playfully.

"Oh, don't be critical."

"And that one over there looks like Yasuhiro Nakasone riding a bike," I suggested. "He's being chased by those hippos over there."

"Somehow I don't think you're taking this very seriously," Natsuki noted dryly.

"What gives you that impression?" I asked innocently.

"I wonder." Natsuki leaned over, taking a piece of egg from the bento. I turned reflexively, watching her lips close around it. My heart skipped as she glanced at me. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," I replied without thinking.

Natsuki looked at me for a moment. "Well, it's here if you want it," she said finally.

"Maybe just a little," I said, reaching out and taking a piece of egg. I ate it slowly.

"Either way, this is a nice change of pace, if nothing else," Natsuki said. "Don't you think?"

I met her gaze for a moment, then turned away, looking up again. "This is a little dangerous, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

"Dangerous? I doubt it. We don't have too many outright enemies, most likely, so it should be fine."

"That's not what I meant," I said gently.

"Oh. Oh." I watched her out of the corner of my eye, and her eyes met mine momentarily before she looked away. Mutual schoolgirl-caught-staring, and rather embarrassing. "Not really. It's probably okay."

"I hope so," I replied, unconvinced. But I really didn't feel like arguing.

"This is normal, really," Natsuki suggested.

"Not for me," I murmured, almost to myself.

"Idiot," Natsuki said weakly. "Aren't you the one worried about this? So don't say things…"

"It's a suspicious conversation," I mused. "How counter-productive."

"Right. Let's talk about something else."

"Who would you have here?" I asked. "If you could have other people here as well?"

"Hey, unfair question. I don't know many people very well." Natsuki closed her eyes. "Actually, I feel real stupid for saying this… but I'm going with Midori. I mean, she was an idiot, but she made things more exciting. Even I have to concede that."

I smiled at that. "That's rather like you."

"What?" Natsuki demanded hotly. "You got a problem with that?"

"Not really. But I'm wondering whether that's what you really think of her, that's all." I smiled. "Natsuki always rationalises things, and she doesn't like admitting that she likes people. So, I'm curious. I don't know her very well."

"That's another reason," Natsuki said, ignoring the first part. "She doesn't know you very well. But I think you'd like each other, rather more than she likes me. At least, it'd be a pretty funny mix of personalities."

"There's always that," I admitted wryly.

"Hey, wait. I still have those DVDs, don't I?"

"DVDs?" I asked, puzzled.

"Oh, nothing," Natsuki said. "It's not important." She reached over, this time taking a pickle. "How about you? Who would you like to be here?"

"Hmm." I frowned. "Maybe Haruka, after all."

"Haruka? I thought you didn't like her?"

"I don't hate her, though it's not exactly pleasant to be around her any more," I said loosely. "But I wasn't thinking of that. Rather, Reito. They'd make an amusing couple, and I owe him the attempt, at least."

"But isn't Yukino… you know?"

"Well, knowing Reito's past, he'll only help things along," I said, frowning. "Either way, it would be interesting. But, just a dream, at the end of the day."

"I guess so."

"In that case, though, I probably shouldn't do anything. I don't really have the right."

"Honestly, you talk about this stuff too much," Natsuki said. "Isn't fine to think about happier things right now?"

"Perhaps," I said. "But I have a reputation as a gloomy person to consider, now don't I?"

"And if you can say things like that, you really shouldn't worry at all," Natsuki said, taking another piece of egg. "You're basically shameless, right? That suits me just fine."

"I resent that accusation," I said wryly, meeting her eyes. "But not the good part of it."

Natsuki grinned. "Hungry?"

"A little," I admitted.

"Are you sleeping?"

I sprang about halfway up by reflex, almost banging heads with Mikoto leaning over me. She took several deft steps back, straightening slightly. "Kaichou wasn't asleep. Or did I wake her?"

"Mikoto, that's rude!" Mai said.

"But forgivable," Otousama regarded dryly, looking down at me. "You're taking a risk Kuga isn't, Shizuru."

"Sorry about that," I murmured, sitting up and putting my hands on my knees. Oh. Skirt. "You rather surprised me, that's all."

"Sorry. I was just curious," Mikoto said, returning to her place. "Do you want to play tag with us later?"

I glanced suspiciously at Reito, but he was looking as innocent as ever. "Well, I suppose so. I doubt I'll be very good, though."

Natsuki sat up, sighing. "We were looking at the clouds, Mikoto. Now you've interrupted us."

"Looking at the clouds?" Mikoto looked up. "Ooh. I see…"

"Who says modern youth are hard to please?" Otousama asked rhetorically.

Not bad, coming from Natsuki. I resisted the urge to look at Saaya. "But if that's the case, I suppose I'd better hurry up and eat some more."

"There's no rush," Shiho said. "She'll be looking up for half an hour now."

"This is also sentry duty," Mikoto said ambiguously, craning her neck.

"Don't stare at the sun, Mikoto," Mai warned.

"Did you spot any interesting-looking clouds?" Reito asked mischievously.

"One of them looked like a hippo," I said seriously.

Conveniently, Otou-sama's phone rang at that point. He stood and walked away, taking it out and answering. "Yes?"

"Honestly, at your age, Shizuru," Okasama said. "That's rather cute."

"And Natsuki, too," Mai said. "That's definitely a memory."

"Shut up," Natsuki said defensively.

"By the way, Saaya, are there any interesting clouds around?" Okasama asked.

Saaya sighed, smiling. "I was worried it would come to that. Give me a moment… but clouds are complicated."

"Don't feel obliged."

"Looking at clouds?" Shiho asked. "Just how old are you people, anyway?"

"Don't sound too offended. It'll make us feel a little silly when we're playing tag, after all," Reito said.

"That's different," Shiho said unconvincingly. "That's just to be social. It's an adult response."

"Yes, yes."

"Cloud watching, though," Tate said rhetorically. He sat back, putting his hand over Mai's. "I can see the attraction of that."

"You're just a big child too," Mai said, amusedly.

But she didn't take her hand away, either. It looks like my clumsy assistant has finally developed some smoother aspects.

I instinctively looked at Shiho out of the corner of my eye, but she'd turned her head away. "Hey, at least eat while looking at the sky," she said, tugging Mikoto's sleeve. "You want to play afterwards, right?"

"Hmm. Okay."

"I'm not going to wait around all day, you know…"

More surprising was the fact that Natsuki was staring. I nudged her. "But I'm sorry if I sounded rude earlier. It looks like looking at clouds has general approval, after all."

"Hmm?" Natsuki focused her gaze on me. "Well, I'm not sure whether to feel proud or stupid, frankly."

"Feel proud," I suggested. "It's better than the rest of us feeling stupid, right?"

Otousama returned, sitting down again.

"Anything wrong, dear?" Okasama asked.

"Not particularly," Otousama said concisely. "Something came up, but a few directions fixed things."

"If you say so, then."

"What do you want to do now?" Natsuki asked, after swallowing a quick mouthful of rice.

"Best to eat, I suppose," I said. "Then, apparently, we play tag. You're playing too, by the way."

"I refuse. This is a public park, you know."

"Scared you'd lose?" I teased.

"Of course," Natsuki replied. "I'm terrified." Just a little sarcastically.

"Well, considering you suggested the cloud thing, this is only fair," I pointed out, "I went along with you on that, didn't I?"

"In the loosest sense of the word, yes," Natsuki said. "But that hardly counts. Besides, my leg is wounded, isn't it? I even have an excuse."

"Oh. You're right, of course." I frowned. "In that case, there's no choice, after all."

"Tch. I'll see how I feel." Natsuki rubbed her thigh. "To be honest, it's almost healed."

"That wound?" I asked, puzzled.

Natsuki nodded. "I was wondering about this, after your illness, but… it's probably that aspect we have in common."

"It's hard to be grateful after everything, but that's rather convenient," I said quietly.

"To be honest, I probably should have done more before," Natsuki replied, looking away. "In terms of seeing how things stand, it's important knowledge. But it always felt a little morbid to probe."

"It can't be helped," I said. "But that doesn't mean you should take any unnecessary risks, either. With this leg or at any other time."

Natsuki smirked. "You know me too well. Don't worry, though. I'm not inclined to take any big risks any more. I have more to come back to, right?"

I nodded. "That's good."

"And you as well. If you do anything like last time again, I won't forgive you for endangering yourself," Natsuki said strictly.

"That's fine, but I'm only playing tag," I said innocently. "It's really not very dangerous, Natsuki."

Natsuki chuckled. "Alright, alright. But don't take it lightly, either. You might fall over and graze your knee. It's a real risk."

"I'll bear that in mind…" I leaned back slightly, looking around. "But touching on another note, this is a little different."

"Yes?" Natsuki asked patiently.

"From the last time we did this," I said. "You know, that time, I did my best to smile. But, still, I couldn't enjoy that at all."

"I don't think many people did, but what would you expect?" Natsuki asked.

I nodded slightly. "Of curse. That's why, it's strange, because though the past hasn't changed, I'm… well, happy, this time. I suppose. Is that really okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

I caught her gaze and smiled. "You're right, of course. Never mind."

Is this really real? Should it really be allowed? Those are questions that occur to me. Natsuki and I, everyone and I together, even though they all know what I did and who I am. Well, putting my parents aside. It's strange, and it doesn't really make sense. Some of them are closer to me, and Mai in particular is more innocent than Natsuki. Even so, this seems fine. I might be naïve. But also, it might be their prerogative, after all. Whether this is forgiveness or not, they can choose how to treat me. I'm not allowed to complain, and right now, I don't have any reason to do so. So all I have is this guilt, but it's more remote.

Whenever I'm with Natsuki, it's further away now. The opposite of how things were before. That's also important.

And in the end, we ate and talked, then we played tag until we were all out of breath. Natsuki and I had to form a tag team for the express purpose of catching Mikoto, who kept using acrobatic dodges and even scissored Tate's legs out from under him in one memorable incident. We even managed to catch her, thought not before she got dangerously close to Okasama, and more importantly Otousama's revenge for his eye through a spare parasol he snatched up and held like a sword. Luckily for everyone concerned she managed to adjust her course before anything unfortunate occurred. And after that, we played other games as well, and somehow we managed in the heat of the moment to forget how old we were and how unfashionable this must have looked. That's probably due to Mikoto. Her vibrant energy is a force in itself. And her remarkably competitive streak made her the person everyone wanted to beat, too. That's also important.

I didn't too badly myself. It's been a while since I could think positively about my physical skills, such as they are. But there are worse ways for a swordswoman to spend her time than hide and seek.

And in the end, we all came back completely exhausted and talked of various things. Surprisingly, we did have more than that one thing in common, after all. And, rather than being someone who was just watching, I was with everyone this time. Part of things. And I was with Natsuki as well, of course. That's also important.

So I was happy then.