Becsy Lexi: Alyssa is actually the name I had in this chapter (it was written in that first month or so of the story). For some reason it worked really well in this chapter, but not the last one (I blame my mind's unwillingness to compromise and change the middle name) and since I had always just been planning on calling the baby Allie, I switched it over to Allison. You know what they say though, great minds think alike.
Bob: I think all good/normal times in DA are just the calm before the storm. There is always something around the bend for them.
AN: Many thanks to Maria who soothed my fears about having Max be overdone in the 'in pain area' and the hormonal aspect which this chapter deals with. That being said let me point out she had to confirm and elaborate on my previous knowledge of post-childbirth time (which is pretty decently limited) the only thing even more limited than that is how babies actually behave. So I apologize in advance for all my boo boos.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Chapter 53
A Foreign World
-o-o-o-o-o-
She groaned once more as she started to shoot up. She wasn't this stupid, she really should have figured it out after the first half a dozen times that moving wasn't quite as pleasant as it had been a day ago.
"Is she okay?" Max asked to Logan who had already shot out of bed and dashed around to her side where their daughter was now crying for only the second time in her short life.
"Shhshhh," Logan was murmuring to their daughter, trying to comfort her as he carefully scooped her into is arms. "I think so," he said as her crying took a hiccupping break, "probably hungry. Trudy said to try to feed her as soon as she woke up."
"Oh," Max had a vague memory of that in the middle of her euphoric high after her daughter's birth shortly before she crashed from exhaustion. God they were beautiful together, she thought as Logan smiled over at her and started the short walk back to the bed.
"Hey let's go to Mommy," he cooed to Allison, who still didn't appear to know if she wanted to be crying or not.
She pushed herself up in order to take her daughter. She couldn't help but smile seeing the scrunched up red face, wondering how exactly she'd managed to grow more beautiful in less than 2 hours. "Hey Allie, you hungry?" she asked as she stroked one of the angry red cheeks.
"You know I think Trudy said to come get her so she could help," Logan said from his position next to them on the bed, his finger wrapped tightly in their daughter's hand, not at all making any effort to actually move.
" Logan," Max began with a tilt of her head, "woman have been feeding their kids since…well the start of the world."
"You haven't," he pointed out.
She just gave him a look, she'd never seen a cat need to learn how to nurse, it was just natural right? Baby to nipple?
How exactly to get baby to nipple?
"Uh," a quick shake of her head.
"Need some help?"
She shook her head; she had this under control, just hard to think clearly with all the crying. One hand tentatively left her daughter to seek out the buttons of her shirt.
It was clumsy and with each failed attempt, each second longer, Allie's cries seemed to increase in intensity as her eyes and head, even limbs desperately moved seeking out something to ease this unknown feeling. Max knew the feeling well herself.
"Max, let me help you," Logan moved closer.
"No," she snapped, "I can do this." She had to be able to do this. It was the most basic of things.
Her shirt finally fell open and she tugged it to the side. She moved the baby closer towards the intended target, but she just continued to cry.
"Come on," Max found herself cooing softly to the beet red infant, an almost non-existent bounce meant to sooth her she shifted her.
"Uh," Logan began and Max's eyes shot up to him, seeing him filled with an worry she hadn't really seen before, different than even seeing her in labor. Worry for his child, a child she knew he loved even more now that he had before. "The book said you should tease your nipple in her mouth to get her to latch on," there was no flush to his cheeks from embarrassment.
There was on Max's though, well if not flush than shock. Why hadn't she remembered that? "Right," she nodded.
It was awkward, trying to twist the baby into the proper position.
"Do you-"
"No," once more she cut him off quickly. Baby. Nipple. Shouldn't be so hard. Her hands suddenly seemed awkward and clumsy though, and despite her best attempts Allie seemed completely oblivious to the nipple, no idea she was supposed to latch on to the thing being brushed against and into her mouth as Max tried to softly talk her into it, which resulted in begging rather quickly.
Max looked up, this time not able to mask the fear, once more catching worry in his eyes.
"You're stressed," he said suddenly appearing to be calm, he wasn't though, she could still see it in his eyes. He sat down next to her and stroked their daughter's head. "Sure you're not part canine? Cause maybe then she's picking up on your fear," he smiled.
She gave a watery smile back.
"Come on," he nodded, "try to relax." His free hand moved from wrapped around her to gently caressing her back. His lips pressed softly against the exposed shoulder from where the shirt had fallen to the side.
"She hates me," Max choked out in and buried herself into his shoulder and tears suddenly spilled out of her eyes.
"No she doesn't," Logan promised into her hair.
A quick nod, "She knows what I was going to do. What I almost did."
"You didn't though Max, you gave her life, she loves you."
As quickly as she turned to him, she turned away and turned her gaze back downwards.
Logan was undeterred and his soft voice switched between both females without pause, his hand moved away from the top of their daughter's head to help guide her in the right direction.
"Shh Max," he soothed as the tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes in another downpour, "it's okay, takes some time all the books say it does. She's not going to starve in a matter of minutes." Kisses to her shoulder, cheek, head, scattered in between those words.
"Just like your momma when you're hungry aren't you?" A smile, "Loud." Soft encouragements to her to eat.
Somewhere in-between all that Max realized that her trembles had started to lessen, she hadn't even been aware of them beginning.
A quick knock.
"Come in," Logan gently called out.
Max looked up, it was Zack.
"Hey I heard her crying, everything alright?" He gave a brief nod down, but never looking at Allie, after walking in and his eyes automatically seeking out the source of the noise, which was right by Max's breast.
"Where's Trudy?" Logan's voice was authoritative, a man used to being in charge.
"She had to run Sage into town, said she'd be back in ten to fifteen." He nodded, worry too in his eyes, "Should be back by now. Want me to go track her down?"
Logan's head shook, "No-"
"Oww," Max said automatically and her eyes shot away from theirs back down to the suddenly quieted infant. She smiled seeing Allie's mouth now doing the busy work of feeding, a weird new noise suddenly filling the room and a new sensation coursing through Max.
Max gave a relieved smile and the tears started to pour out again.
"What'd I tell you," Logan said softly into her ear as she relaxed against him, no longer holding herself so tightly, "just like her momma." His lips teased up.
She smiled and nodded, "Just look at her go."
It was sometime later that Max finally looked up and realized her brother had disappeared out of the room without even a word.
Okay like normal no idea if you liked or hated it so let me know. Thanks for reading everyone!
Side note (if anyone cares): That whole "She hates me" thing was originally going to be said to Zack not Logan and it was going to be more drawn out (get a real out of the ordinary Max), but then it suddenly didn't fit the chapter, so it that felt extra choppy there I apologize.
