"You can't put it off any longer if you are going to make it there by Monday." Rachel has been a trooper putting up with my foul moods.

The first night he was gone I got drunk, shit faced, stop the world from moving, vomiting behind the dumpster kind of drunk. The next night I kept my drinking at home and got drunk, really really drunk, like ugly cry, a million voicemails left, passing out clutching the shirt he left in my place on the pillow his head had laid on the first time we made love kind of drunk.

The next few days I ranted and yelled. I punched the couch and I smashed the remote against the wall.

By the end of the week I was at work, sober and loathing life. Rachel has been sitting staring at me as I stare out the door urging me to get on the road. I had a lot of miles to cover, miles that I don't want to travel.

"If I only had a clue. If he would only turn on his fucking phone." I rub my tired eyes, they feel like I slept face first on the beach with them open.

"Jasper had no ideas?" I shake my head.

"He said that he didn't, all he knew was he took a couple weeks off at both school and the bar. He said he didn't even talk to him, he just got the voice mail."

"Emmett, all you can do is go and do what you need to do." Her hand squeezes my shoulder and I put mine on top of hers.

"I know Rach, but I was just hoping... if I could only explain..." kissing her hand I stand, knowing I have to leave.

"Ok, well thank you for everything." she smiles sadly and nods.

"So are you sure about everything? You don't have to you know after all of this..."

"I am sure."

The miles pass with pain for the first day, the second day I am numb, numb is good. Numb will help me focus on work and work alone. I should get into town in another few hours. It should have taken another half day but before I got numb I got pissed and when I get pissed I tend to floor it. I caught myself more then once approaching 100 mph. It really felt good to have the anger, but it felt better when I felt nothing.

Pulling into my new job, I take it in. Generic, just like a million other shops all over the country. Looking around I see across the street, the view I will be seeing for the next two week, an insurance place, perfect. This wouldn't work if there were neon signs and rowdy crowds to remind me.

A few days in and I am in a groove, even fake friendly. Not that it would matter if I didn't the tough guys expect it and the bimbos think it's hot. The girls flirt, the guys flirt, I ignore them all. I just want to keep my head down and get my work done. I'm not looking for anything I left my heart a few thousand miles up the coast, and that is where it is gonna stay.

I don't think I could even get it up if I tried. So I ignore them, all of them, I don't even tell the women I don't go that way.

"We're heading out to the bars tonight. You in?" Marc the shop owner has been trying to get me to go out with his buddies all week. I just haven't felt it.

"Sure, what the hell." I relent, hell it is better then sitting in my rooms not watching tv.

"Great, maybe we can find you a piece to get your ass smiling again." he laughs out and slaps my back.

"Not a chance" I growl out.

Laughing harder "You sure about that, I think it could do you some good."

"It's the last thing that will do me some good."

They tried, all of them, the guys from the shop, the girls in the bar. I didn't bother to correct any of them. And from then on I worked and went home. I did my time, I counted the minutes on the clock, I passed my nights with infomercials and bland beer. I called every night, it went to voice. I called every morning, it went to voice.

I packed up my gun, I packed up my saddlebags I collected my nice fat check and hit the road.