Title: Man-Eater

Characters: Sanzo-ikkou, mentions of Kou, Homura & Gato

Timeline: Reload Manga 5, "Even a Worm-7"

Summary: Goku goes through them like meatbuns.

A/n: Goku befriends people and then beats 'em up…hmm.


"The monkey likes 'em muscular." Gojyo said, when Goku was out of hearing range and Sanzo was.

"Goku admires physical prowess." Hakkai replied. "He finds a bond with those that are strong."

"Well the kid's found himself a new playmate. This is like what…the third one?" Gojyo said puffing away on his cigarette and blowing it in Sanzo's direction, because he knew the asshole hated his brand. "I just can't understand how he makes friends outta enemies."

"He's a nice boy." Hakkai said with a smile on his face.

"There's a limit to how nice a guy can be." Gojyo dismissed, and then looked thoughtful. "So first it was Kougaiji and they were like the best of pals, until Goku took a chomp out of his royal ass, then it was Homura…who I'm not so sure was even in the "friend" category if you get my drift."

Sanzo's eye twitched.

"And now there's Gato, who's like the size of a house and shouldn't be allowed into the city without a permit and a sign that reads 'wide load coming through.' Man, I'm starting to see a trend here Hakkai." Gojyo kicked back in his chair. "I'm tellin' yuh, right after Goku defeats this poor chump he's gonna move onto somebody else. Shit, this is just the flavor of the week. Boy's a man-eater, that's what he is."

"I suppose." And Hakkai laughed, because it was rather fun to see Goku take on impossible odds and come out with victory and a friend.

"If I didn't any know better, I'd think Goku was a player."

Sanzo laughed. Out loud.

"A player with a thing for guys who start out stronger than him. The kid should really get those S&M tendencies checked out. Can't be healthy for a growing monkey."

"I think he just likes the challenge." Hakkai said around a smile.

"I'm not saying he doesn't. But did we ever consider Goku could be a masochist. I mean, just look at his track record with buddies. And I'm not even gonna get started with Sanzo and the origins of that fan of his. Probably some kinda dirty spankin-"

Sanzo glared at him.

"Ah don't feel put out bozu." Gojyo said. "I mean, Goku's got so many boyfriends, but he can only have one girlfriend. And you're so pretty Sanzo-chan, that I don't think our monkey will ever get tired of you using that 'fan' on him."

Sanzo, getting ready to go on the offensive, told Gojyo that he should be less concerned with Goku's friends, and more concerned with his own "friend" as in when he, two days from now finds a way--he'll borrow Hazel's medallion--to bring Chin Yisou back to life and releases him on a sleeping Hakkai. He'd do it. Goddamit he'd do it and he'd make Gojyo watch.

End.