56.

i'm going to hold him to that 'completely'

believe me i am

hold him to it and crush him to it and…

yeah

i'm going to

because i want it too

it and the rest

to be only and completely and forever his

and for him to be mine

mine only

mine completely

mine forever

MINE

not hers

like she wanted

and he didn't

and told her he didn't

like he once told me

sort of

though less cruelly i think maybe

but more too i know

completely it was and completely i know it

and felt it

feel it still

and hear it

still...

You don't belong in my world, Bella.

This is the last time you'll ever see me.

It will be like I never existed. I promise.

even though none of it is true now

and i've heard other things

Almost as much as I only and completely and forever want you to be.

PERFECT for me.

perfect for him

him who wants the honor

of defending

and avenging

the wrongs done against

and the ones that were supposed to be done to

the ones that he thought had

before he knew the reason for

and that i could still be his

reason for living

instead of his reason for dying

like he planned

a stupid and wrong plan

but not only

like hers…

just because she was no part of any of his

and he told her so

Edward wants to defend me…

choose death for me…

a world where she doesn't exist

so that he can for me always

only and completely and forever

and so that i can for him

so maybe we can talk about it

or maybe we don't even need to

because maybe i've already decided

that whatever honor he wants…

he can have "Well, I can't promise to just stand there and watch…"

i really can't

not with my hostility variety issues

and my Cranky Newborn Bella Syndrome diagnosis

"But if you want the honor… really and truly want it…"

"I do, Bella."

"Because you really and truly want me…"

"Forever, Bella. I really and truly do."

"And completely, right? Like, COMPLETELY? Like–"

"I know what completely means, Bella. I promise you I do. And yes... COMPLETELY."

FTW!

"After you… SAY… I do. Of course. To me."

ugh

of course

his other plan

which maybe is a little uuuchgh too

maybe

just a little

but i won't tell him that

not now anyway

because he's already getting his other

way "Then I'll try to give it to you. The honor, I mean. Of killing her. I wouldn't have to try to give you anything else… I mean–"

"I know what you mean, Bella."

he really and truly does

his smile tells me

and that he…

and it…

and all…

is all mine

"Okay, Mr. Chivalrous…

"Lets go…

"Because I can't wait another second to watch you defend my honor. And have yours..."

because i think doing that…

if i can focus...

will be almost as good as that pie i've been dying for

and that that skank Tanya will...

DIE for

..tq..

sorry about yesterday... I couldn't focus on anything.