Chapter 53- National Adoption Month

All the students were pretty hardened to most of the random holidays they were being forced to celebrate. But nothing… NOTHING could have prepared them for what they were about to face.

"Happy National Adoption Month everyone!" Kurenai cheered excitedly as all the students gathered round.

"I want to announce straight away that I object to this holiday!" Naruto said.

"Your complaint will be noted and evaluated later." Kakashi said.

"What's the point of evaluating it later?" asked Naruto. "The holiday will be over before you evaluate!"

"And that is the point." Kakashi said, patting his padawan on the head.

"Now, to make this holiday work, we're going to hand out these papers and we would like you fill them out in the most honest and truthful way possible." Asuma said as he handed each student, save Naruto, Neji and Sasuke, a piece of paper and a pencil.

"A questionnaire all about our family life?" Shikamaru said with a raised eyebrow.

"Be totally truthful!" Asuma warned.

"And what exactly are we supposed to do?" Neji said, referring to himself, Naruto and Sasuke of course.

"You get to hang out with me!" said Gai as he grabbed the three aforementioned students and ran off to the closest theme park.

"That's not fair!" complained Kiba. "Just because they don't have parents they get to go to a theme park…"

"Kiba…" Hinata said, legitimately feeling bad for him.

"May I inquire as to the point of these questionnaires?" Sakura asked, raising her hand.

"Hm…" the three remaining teachers looked at each other.

"The others would greatly discourage me from revealing this information to you at this present time—" Asuma began.

"No, we don't really care." Kurenai shrugged.

"I care." Said Kakashi.

"Well too bad." Said Kurenai.

"Well, KAKASHI would greatly discourage me from revealing this information to you at this present time." Asuma corrected himself.

"I was just kidding before. I don't REALLY care." Said Kakashi, and he came awfully close to chuckling.

"Well… MAYBE Gai would greatly discourage me from revealing this information to you at this present time." Asuma decided.

He looked at the other two who approved.

"So," Asuma clapped his hands together. "Where to begin?"

"Essentially, we're testing each of your family's compatibility with those other three." Kakashi said.

"I WAS GOING TO SAY IT!" cried Asuma

"You weren't saying it fast enough." Kakashi said.

"And why are we testing compatibility?" Lee questioned.

"Because over the next three days, each of your families are going to get a chance to adopt either Neji, Sasuke or Naruto for one fun filled day!" said Kurenai.

"Uh…" said the remaining nine students in a very unintelligent fashion.

"Do they know about this?" Chouji whispered in a very concerned tone.

The teachers only laughed and then cleared their throats.

"OH don't be silly!" said Asuma. "Now hurry and finish your questionnaires so we can get to the sorting!"

Everyone looked at each other uneasily and hesitantly continued with their questionnaires until they were totally complete. The teachers collected the papers and began reading them carefully.

"Shino…" said Kurenai. "In response to 'daily family activities', your wrote, 'No'. 'No' is not a response to this question."

"I meant to write 'none' but my pen ran out of ink." Shino said.

"Oohhh…" said Kurenai with a nod.

"Tenten!" said Asuma. "I didn't know you had five sisters. And I also didn't know you actually had a house and had parents! And I also didn't know that your last name is—"

"There's a lot people don't know about me, okay?" Tenten interrupted.

"Well," said Kakashi. "After extensive deliberation and even a little looking underneath the underneath on my part…"

"Kakashi, I looked underneath the underneath too." Kurenai reminded.

"Oh yes, that's right." Said Kakashi. "Kurenai and I both looked underneath the underneath but Asuma didn't."

"I TRIED!" whined Asuma.

"Get on with it!" said an impatient person who hasn't gotten to say something yet.

"We have decided who gets to adopt who." Kakashi said. "Each family will have one day with their appointed person, and three families get one person. Does everyone understand?"

"Just tell us who we got!" yelled another angry person who hasn't said anything yet.

"All right…" said Kurenai. "Naruto's most compatible families are… Hinata, Shikamaru and Shino!"

Everyone paused.

"Wait…" said Shikamaru. "Did you say 'most compatible' or most 'incompatible'?"

"Most compatible." Said Kurenai.

"Oh." Said Shikamaru. "I want to see your reasoning for that."

"How's it feel to want?" snapped Kurenai.

"That doesn't make any sense." Said Shino. "Your reasoning is flawed and illogical."

"You don't even know what our reasoning is." Said Asuma.

"Well, if your reasoning involves putting Naruto in my household because you think he is compatible with my father and me, then surely your reasoning is flawed and illogical." Shino deducted.

"Haha…maybe your mom will come back from the grocery store too!" said Kiba.

Shino turned around and punched Kiba in the face.

"Ow!" whined Kiba. "But… that didn't really hurt as much as it used to when you had a cast on!"

"I think that Kiba would be more compatible with Naruto…" Hinata confessed.

"Yeah." Said Kiba. "Yet…he's spending the day with my two teammates. How strange."

"Oh!" Sakura said suddenly. "I might have Sasuke staying an entire day at my house!"

"Way to turn the situation around and make it about yourself!" said Ino.

"You're just jealous because I'll definitely get to adopt Sasuke!" said Sakura.

"Do you all want to fight about it or do you want us to finish announcing?" said Kakashi, looking annoyed.

"Announce!" said everyone.

"The people who get to spend time with Sasuke are…" said Asuma, pausing for the dramatic effect. "Chouji, Lee and Ino!"

"YES!" cheered Ino. "In your face, but especially your big forehead!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sakura yelled as she dropped to her knees like Darth Vader like she should have done in the Halloween chapter.

"Which means Tenten, Sakura and Kiba adopt Neji." Shikamaru said. "Yes. I think you guys picked these randomly and just had us fill out the questionnaires because you're psychotic."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" said the teachers.

"What's not true?" said Shikamaru. "The psychotic bit or the picking the names randomly?"

"Both of them!" said Asuma.

"Does anyone want to trade Neji for anyone else in the world?" Kiba asked.

"If you guys thought about it for one second, obviously Naruto would get Chouji, Lee and Kiba," Shikamaru went on and on. "And Sasuke would get Hinata, Ino and Sakura while Neji has Shino, Tenten and—" he paused a moment. "Wait… then I'D be stuck with Neji…"

"Our word is FINAL!" said Kurenai adamantly.

"I don't want to adopt Neji!" complained Kiba.

"Let's clarify something right now." Said Kakashi. "YOU are not adopting Neji. Your MOTHER is adopting Neji. Likewise with everyone else. You personally are not adopting these people. You are not becoming their parent. You are becoming their sibling."

"Even worse!" whined Kiba.

"Ino, do you want to trade Neji for Sasuke?" Sakura pleaded.

"No way!" Ino laughed.

"It was worth a shot…" Sakura whined.

"AND NO TRADING!" screamed Asuma.

"Now, as we speak, Gai is explaining the set up to our orphan friends and soon they shall return and the fun will start tomorrow morning!" said Kurenai.

"Does anyone have any preference to who goes first?" Kakashi asked.

"ME FIRST!" shrieked Ino.

"Okay, Ino will adopt Sasuke first." Said Kakashi. "What about Neji and Naruto?"

"Well, I'll take Neji first since the other two seem to despise him so much." Tenten offered.

"And…Naruto?" Kakashi led.

Shino, Hinata and Shikamaru looked at each other.

"Shino volunteers." Said Shikamaru.

"No." said Shino.

"That's good enough." Kakashi decided.

"Okay!" said Asuma. "So tomorrow morning Sasuke will go with Ino, Neji will go with Tenten and Naruto will go with Shino!"

"No." Shino said in a slightly elevated tone.

"Don't worry, Shino." Said Kiba. "After one day, it'll all be over! And then you can go back to being the only child!"

"No one understands me." Shino said.

"I understand you, Shino." Said Kiba.

"No you don't." Shino raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes I do." Kiba said.

"Fine. Whatever." Shino said since he didn't feel like arguing anymore.

"So, students, even though you SHOULD be training for the Chuunin Exam…" Kurenai said randomly. "There will be no training for today or the next three days so you can concentrate all your time on making your brand new sibling feel at home and happy!"

With that, the teachers ran away as fast as they could while giggling maniacally.