An: Renee confronts James

Chapter fifty five: She's still my mother


Bella, September, 2011…

The cool evening breeze hit me as I laughed at something Jasper said. We were out on the edge of the Whitlock property where he had taken me on our date by the big oak tree. The picnic basket was set aside and the food was all gone. We still had a little something to drink, but I was mostly enjoying having his head lounging on my leg, which he had told me to let him know when it cramped up. He didn't want me in any discomfort.

I didn't care about my leg cramping up at the moment. He would massage it. I cared more about how peaceful and carefree he looked as he told me silly jokes, making me laugh while I snacked on the potato chips I'd just opened.

"I'm gonna choke if you tell me one more joke while I'm eating," I warned lightheartedly. He looked up at me and smiled.

"I'm mighty sorry, ma'am," he drawled.

"Do you know what it does to me when you talk like that?"

He smirked and then drawled again, "Like what?"

"Like that," I imitated him as he rose up to his knees and began drawing closer to me. "Back off, buddy. I know that look. You aren't getting any out here. Besides, we promised Zafrina since her rules weren't working."

Zafrina figured out that Jasper and I were disobeying her strict rules on strenuous activity. She wasn't pleased, to say the least and immediately guilt us into promising to behave since my pregnancy was drawing to a close.

"I made a promise I have no intention of breaking, Bella," he said as he drew close to my lips. "Besides, she never said anything about kissing you senseless."

"Now that I don't mind," I said as I pulled him into a heated kiss until our little girl decided to interrupt when she kicked me. "Ow!" I groaned and backed off to rub my belly.

Jasper chuckled and placed his hand over mine while he spoke to her. "Come on, my little darlin', give your mama a break."

I felt a lighter kick and then she stopped. "She stopped," I looked up at his smiling face and said.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered and then kissed me before moving down to my belly. He lifted my shirt and kissed my swollen stomach. "I love you too, my little darlin'."

He pulled my shirt down and settled back in his previous position; lying down beside me with his head resting on the side of my leg. I returned my hand to his hair, caressing it. "Why were you so nervous this morning and why are we out here?"

"We're enjoying the evening together."

"I know and I love the idea of it. But why you were so nervous about asking to come out here?"

I thought Jasper was adorable when he approached me this morning with the idea of us coming out here this evening.

"Well…" He started and then stopped to mumble something to himself.

"What?"

He sighed and sat up. He looked like he wanted to say something but he kept starting, then mumbling, and shutting up before he could get it out.

"Jasper…just spit it out!" I laughed at him. What was going on? What did he want to say?

He looked stunned at my outburst, but he laughed it off. "I think I needed that. Thanks."

"Good, now what do you want to say?"

He sighed and then smiled the most beautiful, breathtaking smile. "I wanted to say…"

I nodded and gestured for him to go on.

He laughed again. "You act like your dad."

Charlie had left a few days ago. It was a good visit. We spent as much time as we could together, getting to know one another. Jasper was so accommodating and kind. He made sure Charlie and I had chances to talk and have as much fun together as Zafrina would allow. But Jasper's head nearly exploded when he caught me showing Charlie my horse, Mystery. He nearly had a fit. He thought it was too dangerous. Charlie gave him a look and Jasper shut up and looked scolded. It was too fun to see. Charlie and Sue got along too. I suppose a few emails and calls were in their future.

"How do I act like him?"

"He told me to just spit it out when I was stumbling all over the place before I asked him for your…"

"Asked for my what?" As soon as I asked the question, it hit me. Oh my God. Was Jasper about to say what I thought he was about to ask?

Suddenly, he pulled me into a kiss that lit me afire. And when we parted, we both panted as he stared deep into my eyes and said with all the love he could muster, "I love you, Isabella Swan."

"I love you too."

He sat back on his heels and said, "When Charlie was here, I asked him something very important after I told him the truth about how I acted when…I lost it." He chuckled nervously.

I stayed as quiet as possible. This moment was too unbelievable to me. Was it really happening?

The touch of Jasper's hands holding mine told me it was, but I still couldn't believe it as he stared into my eyes with a smile and said, "After Charlie threatened me within an inch of my life if I ever cause anything like that to happen again, I asked him for your hand in marriage…" I moved to speak, to tell Jasper 'yes' before he could say anything else, but he thought I was about to remind him of the current situation. "I know. I know James hasn't signed the papers yet, but I want to marry you. I asked Charlie and he said yes. So here goes…" He sighed and then began, "Isabella Swan, you are by far the most beautiful and courageous woman I have ever met. In my eyes, there is none like you. And no one I have ever loved more. I have been lost, but with you, I am found. Because of you, I feel grounded. I feel meant for this life filled with love and hope. I love the possibility of a future with you by my side. I want to show you off to the world as my one and only lady."

We both chuckled as Jasper let go of one of my hand to pull a small black box from his pocket. My heart stuttered in beats as he placed it into my open palm and opened it. The wondrous diamond engagement glittered like Jasper's eyes in sunlight and tears pooled in mine.

"Do I even want to know how much carats this is?" I tried to joke.

"Don't ask." He laughed. Then he grew serious. "I know I should wait. But I can't. I know your fingers are a little swollen. We'll put the ring down until you can wear it, but these words…I want to say them to you before I explode."

We both laugh.

"This ring is the beginning." He gestured to the ring in the box in my shaky palm. He took the box and set it down beside us. "It is a token of my love and appreciation for you. Everything you do unravels and amazes me. I love the way you love my family and accept them. I love how your natural beauty transcends. It's not only on the outside, but internally as well. You have a strong and loving heart. I love that you love and accept my friends. I know some of them drive you crazy and you might want to clobber them…"

"Edward."

We laughed. "Yeah, but I love how you accept him and Peter and Emmett. I'm happy you and Tanya are friends. It's amazing to see how taken she is with you. She knows about the ring. She can't wait to talk you about it. But, most of all, I love how you love me."

Tears streamed down my face as he spoke. He stopped and wiped some of them away as I sobbed from the happiness I felt. I have never dreamed of someone proposing to me. But now I know what it was supposed to feel and sound like. The man I never dared to dream about was right here, pledging his love to me. "You brought me back, Bella," he said. "Maybe you don't understand, but sometimes…"

"I understand," I told him and I did. Everyone saw Jasper as this great guy, but he carried a lot on his shoulders. It was a burden I was more than willing to help him with. "I see you. All of you and I love you so much."

"Thank you," Jasper whispered as his eyes filled with tears. "Because of you I'm learning not to see myself not only as the guy who still misses the father he lost. The boy who his mom's ex kidnapped and tortured. With you, I feel like a man worthy of everything good in life. You make me feel like a kid again sometimes. I can't help but smile when I'm around you. I will forever be in your gratitude for not abandoning me when I was at my lowest." I gripped his hand and cried as he talked. "I'm happier because of you, Bella. I can share things with you I don't want to tell anyone else. I can laugh or cry in front of you without fearing you seeing me as weak. I love your body."

I laughed at him because I knew this was coming at some point. But I was reveling in it nonetheless. "I suppose you're going to say you love having sex with me."

"I do!" He laughed. It was deep and throaty and it did things to me. He will always be able to make my body sing for him. "To be connected with you so intimately is remarkable and otherworldly. I adore it. Your sounds drive me crazy. I love the feel of your body on mine."

I laughed again, admiring his honesty. "I don't think you could've proposed to me in front of a crowd."

"I wouldn't have cared what they 're the only person who needs tounderstand these words," he said defiantly.

He was right. I don't care if he did this in privacy or in front of a whole crowd. All that mattered was how I felt about his words. Yeah, I would've blushed, but in the end, this was about him and me. These were his words. This was about us. "Bella, to be inside of you is to be in heaven. I want to spend the rest of my days exploring the treasure that is you. I want everything with you. Will you make me the happiest man alive by promising to be mine? Will you marry me?"

I was a blubbering mess. Tears flowed freely down my face, clouding my vision, but I knew what I wanted to say after I accepted.

Jasper allowed me to cry. And when I finally found my voice, I said with all the joy I felt, "Yes! I'll marry you."

"I love you, Bella." He kissed me amidst my tears.

"I love you too. There is so much I want to say." I cried and he held me until I was calm enough to repeat the words dancing around in my mind aloud.

I moved away and took his hands in mine. I looked deep into his eyes and began. "It's unbelievable and incredible that you exist and you love me. You told me how my love has transformed you, but Jasper, you've healed me." A single tear ran down his face and I wiped it away. "I felt like I survived and persevered because you were out here…waiting for me. You are my future. You should have been my past, but I'm happy you're my present. I know how to love because of you. Yes, Garrett showed me the way, but you, you've taught me everything I know in the time since I've met you up until this very moment. Life couldn't be sweeter." More tears pooled into his eyes. "Thank you, Jasper. You have my heart. You are my soul. Because of you…I am free."

The kiss he pulled me in was enough to topple us over, but he didn't let us fall. And right there, under the beautiful sunset, I accepted my future with open arms and an open mind.

Renee, September, 2011…

I didn't want to go over there. James insisted he needed to talk to me and I suppose it couldn't hurt. I had a few things to say to him as well. Starting with, he needed to sign the divorce papers Bella's lawyers had sent. This had to end. My daughter was happy in Henderson. James no longer had a place in her life. He needed to cut all ties.

For the first time in my life, I was putting my daughter's needs ahead of mine, even if I would never benefit from it. I had done her wrong. It was unforgivable. I understood that now.

I pulled my car to a stop in James' driveway and got out. For some strange reason, the moment I stepped out of the car, I felt like I shouldn't be here. There was this odd presence of danger in my consciousness. I had never felt anything like it before. It was so overwhelming.

I staggered back, like a drunk, bumping into my car door. I held onto the roof of my Mercedes for balance, shaking my head a little, as I tried to rid myself of this strong feeling. A shiver ran through me, and again, I felt like I should leave.

No, this was stupid. I had to get this done. After today, I wouldn't be turning to this house. I will go in there, convince him to sign the divorce papers and have him out of Bella's life for good.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. As I opened them, I sighed and turned in the direction of James' front door, ready to walk toward it.

I almost screamed when I saw him. I couldn't be seeing what I thought I was seeing. This was a result of me not eating properly for the last few days. It has finally taken a toll on me. I wasn't seeing him. I remembered him vividly from the visits I made to Bella's dorm while she was in college to find him there. Or from the parties, Bella asked him to attend with her to ward off unwanted attention. It was him. As clear as day. Though he looked like a shadow. Bella's dead friend was standing in-between James' front door and me.

"What do you want?" I asked foolishly. This was a hallucination. I was speaking to a figment of my imagination. As soon as I left James', I was going to get myself something hearty to eat. I'm sick of the stupid diets I was always on. There were messing with my head.

He said something as I stepped closer. Imagination or not. I was curious. "No!" It sounded strong as he said it, yet, so far away. It was almost like an echo.

"What? What are you trying to say?"

"Go!" he echoed strongly again. His beautiful face looked frantic. "Don't! Go back. Go away! Don't come back!"

"No," I whispered then spoke strongly. "I won't return here after this. But I'm here to help Bella now."

Garrett seemed to shake his head in defeat. What was the matter? I was helping my daughter for once in my petty life. "I'm here to help her." I looked deep into his mesmerizing eyes and told him. He looked sad and I closed my eyes from the pity I saw there.

When I re-opened them, Garrett was gone.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand over my crème suit while promising myself that hearty meal as soon as I was through with James. As I made my way to the door, the weird sense of impending danger crept up again, but I pushed it aside.

After two knocks, James pulled the door open. He gave me a smile that didn't reach his slightly glazed over eyes. He looked…high or drunk. Oh shit. This was just what I needed. Perhaps, I should come back when he was sober enough to comprehend what I was about to say. It was obvious he had been drinking.

"Maybe I should come back," I said. I doubt he would remember anything if we discussed what I wanted to talk about right now. I mean, he was the one who called me. But if he was inebriated, this wouldn't make any sense.

"Why would you do that?" he said, leering at me. I felt uncomfortable and Garrett's warning was seeping into my newly cautious mind.

"You're drunk. I know you called me, but…"

"I'm not drunk," he quickly said, cutting me off. He took my hand and pulled me into the house, closing the door behind us. I jumped when it slammed shut. "I fell asleep. I was a little tired."

His eyes said drunk. I knew 'drunk' when I saw it. I wasn't in the mood. I wanted to get this over with. Perhaps, I'd talk to him about Bella and leaving her alone and then I would call and leave it in a message on his machine so he wouldn't forget.

"Fine. Whatever."

"What's wrong?" James slurred, staggering a little and then giggling to himself.

I shouldn't be here. Everything in me screamed so.

"I wanted to talk about Bella."

James' eyes snapped to mine. They were suddenly sobered up and glaring. "Her name is Marie. You said so." He practically growled it at me.

I walked further into the living room to get some distance between us as I went on. I wasn't Bella. He wouldn't use this tone with me. "I'm aware of what I said. But things have changed." I was going to rip this off like a ban aid. "The circumstances have been altered."

"How so?" James growled.

"Don't speak to me like that!"

He looked taken aback with my firm tone, but then he smirked and it was like staring at the devil himself. "Hmm! Mommy bear has some spunk to her. I know what's going on here."

"What's going on here?" I challenged. I would not be spoken to like I was a child. I was here to defend what was left of my daughter's honor to this…monster.

"Jasper got to you too."

"Excuse me?!"

"He bought you. You sold me out, Renee. You want your whore of a daughter with the highest bidder. Right now, that's Jasper Whitlock, MD and wealthy ranch owner," he rambled on before I could get a word in. "But you two idiots haven't counted on one thing."

I couldn't believe I was going to encourage this madness. But I said, "What's that?"

"You two haven't counted on how much my Marie loves me," he said with his eyes glazing over like a belligerent drunk. He stepped closer to me and I stepped back. Further into the living room I went as James moved closer to me.

"Bella…" He growled as I said the name but I continued, "She has moved on. She doesn't want this life anymore and I refuse to let her come back here so you can beat her up!"

"She's mine," he said possessively. "I can do what I want with her. If I want to teach her the lessons she deserves to learn, so what?!"

"You're insane!" I yelled at him. "I want you out of my daughter's life. I want you to use whatever ounce of dignity you have and sign those divorce papers. Let...her...go!"

He didn't say anything for a minute. It made me believe I had gotten through to him as I watched him collapse on his couch, seemingly deep in thought all of a sudden. "But she loves me," he whispered to himself. "I know she does."

I was about to leave and never come back here, but I suppose I could make sure he was okay before I go.

I moved closer to him, just a bit within reach, but it was enough for James to reach out and grab my arm, pulling me to him. He smashed his face into my stomach, holding me to him. "I miss her so much, Renee," he sobbed. "I want her back. I love her!"

I didn't believe him, but I wouldn't say so. All I wanted was for him to let me go. "Sometimes, despite how much we want things to remain the same, they have to change. You both need to move on."

What I said should have been suffice, but it wasn't what James wanted.

He started to rub my sides as he held me in a vice grip. "I have this hankering, Renee. It's for my Marie. But I can't have her."

"James, let me go," I warned.

He continued like he didn't hear me. "I must say, I'm impressed." He ran a hand down my side and then up the back of my leg, and over my bottom. "You're beautiful. I think my Marie will fare well as she ages. You already look like an older version of her. I have a lot to look forward to."

"How dare you?" I started to fight my way out of his grasp. "Let go of me!"

I slapped his head repeatedly until he let me go. I hastily started for the door when he shouted, "Where the fuck do you think you're going, you bitch?!"

He sprang off the couch and chased after me, grabbing me by the hair and yanking me back to the living room with him. I screamed and scratched his hand with my nails. He hissed and spun me around. He slapped me so hard across the face, I fell to the ground with my ears ringing.

I could feel his hands on my feet. I kicked and screamed as he grabbed after me. I spotted my cell phone on the ground next to the couch and I reached for it. James sprang on me like a wild animal, swiftly pulling me away. He kicked me in the stomach then he turned me over as I lay there, groaning in pain. He climbed on top of me and backhanded me twice.

"You're just like your daughter. Always acting like you don't like it," he leered down at me as he ran a hand down my trembling body.

"Please…" I begged. "Let me go. I won't tell anyone."

"You're damn right you won't," He disgustingly agreed. "What happens in the family stays in the family. I think I'll give Marie to my father for a while when she returns. He's always wanted a go at her. Besides, he's really good at disciplining unruly wives."

I spat the blood that had pooled in my mouth in James' face. He wiped it away and moved to slap me again when I punched him in the nose. He screamed in pain and got off of me. I hope I broke it.

With him momentarily distracted, I got off the floor, ignoring the pain in my gut and tried to run for the door again.

But I was grabbed and tossed into the glass top coffee table.

I gasped in shock while James watched me in amusement as I rolled to the floor and tried to get away.

He laughed heartily. "I tell you, like daughter, like mother. Marie would do the exact thing." In my distress and pain, I remembered my daughter's tearful eyes as she begged me to help her get away from James. My God, I sent her back here? I recalled her face, reddened with anger and sadness as she poured her heart out to me at the Whitlock's. I remembered Jasper's look of disgust as he stared at me. And Maria's words, kind and forceful, as she told me to only ask for forgiveness from Bella when I truly meant it.

"I know Jasper told you lies about me. I know he has brainwashed my Marie.."

"Bella!" I shouted and he kicked me in the stomach for saying her rightful name. I know he must have broken something. Inside of me, felt…weird.

"Jasper wants what's mine. He went as far as to rape Marie and get her pregnant so he could keep her, but I will free her, Renee." My God, he was insane. "I will rip his spawn out of her, but not before I'll kill him in front of her. I'll make Marie watch the life leave her lover's eyes. Then, she'll finally see I'm the only one for her. I'll teach her the valuable lessons she needs to learn about what happens when I feel betrayed. My father will help me of course, as I said, he's always wanted a crack at her. And since, she likes to give what's mine away to complete strangers, I'll feel better keeping it in the family."

"You're all insane. I hope you rot in hell!" It hurt to shout but I had to say it.

I tried to crawl away again, but he grabbed my foot and pulled. I used my other foot to fucking kick him in the groin. He doubled over in pain and I attempted to escape again.

He tackled me in the foyer and crawled on top of me while we fought. He wrestled my hands over my head. I screamed for help, even though I doubt anyone would come to the rescue. I know these types of people. My daughter lived here for six years and no one answered her screams.

Nevertheless, I screamed for help again.

James laughed at me. He mocked me by screaming for help too.

"No one is going to help you, Renee." He sprawled his body on top of mine. I could feel his arousal and it sickened me. Again, I was reminded of what my daughter went through day and night with this beast. "I'm all you have for the however long I want to keep you. Jasper's got me under watch but I told my neighbor to report any strange cars or SUVs he sees parked up outside for too long. I let him know that my Marie has been taken by an evil guy with lots of connections and he wants a ransom I can't provide. The old fool ate up the story like the blubbering idiot he is."

My God, Jasper had men watching James and James has told his neighbor lies to get rid of them? I was such a fool. Figment of my imagination or not, this was what Garrett meant. I shouldn't have come here. I should've turned around and left after Garrett disappeared.

"So you and I are going to have lots of fun!" James said gleefully. "I don't have my Marie to play with, so you'll have to do."

I screamed for bloody murder as he got off of me and pulled me, by my ankles, back into hell.

Bella, September, 2011…

"NO!" I woke up with a start.

Jasper got up too. "Jesus, Bella, what's wrong?!"

I was staring straight ahead. It was so real. I was there, only I wasn't. Garrett was trying to help me but he couldn't. He looked so broken. He'd looked at me with defeat coloring his lovely face as he said, "I'm sorry, Bella. I tried to help."

"Bella! Bella!"

I was scaring Jasper so I turned to him, happy I could find my voice, and said, "We have to help my mother."