Disclaimer: The main characters don't belong to me, but the rest does.

Dear Diary,

Right now, I'm feeling irrationally annoyed at poor, sweet Raoul, so I will be immature and make a numbered list of all my grievances.

Here:

1. Now that I know how - well - hormonal he is, I don't really feel comfortable with kissing him anymore. I know it sounds silly, but I feel deeply repulsed at the idea of someone wanting me like that. We'll just say I'm hormonally-challenged, or something, because I don't want to think about Freudian explanations.

2. He's jealous of Mr. Destler, and won't quit putting him down, which bothers me because I feel quite protective of the poor man. (Motherly, really.)

3. Aside from our love of Harry Potter, we have very little in common. When you ask him what kind of music he likes, he responds: "I don't know… All sorts, you know. Like, whatever's on the radio." Yikes.

4. He doesn't listen, and responds to everything I say with something completely unrelated.

5. I always feel guilty because I feel like he is more invested in the relationship than I am, and I resent him for making me feel guilty, even though it's obviously not his fault.

6. I also feel like he has no depth or substance, but that's unfair.

I could go on, but I'm starting to feel bad. He really tries! Ah, well.

Meanwhile, I'm getting on really well with Mr. Destler.

Guess what we sang today! Sorry, what? No - try again. Hmmm… Yes - that's perfectly right: The Papageno-Papagena duet from the Magic Flute! Which, despite how overdone it is, remains one of the cutest duets in existence. (Especially in the Ingmar Bergman film version.)

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa…"

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa…"

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!"

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa."

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pagena!"

"Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pageno!"

Sorry. But just… *sigh*

Then I said something enthusiastic about how much I loved music, and he sang me Schubert's "An die Musik". I wish Schubert could have heard him.

I'm going back to his apartment this weekend.

Apparently, I have my own armchair there now! I would have felt bad that he spent that much money on me, but then I realized that a home needs to be able to seat at least two people, so that it really was a necessary investment. Still, I was very touched, and I told him so.

"Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you."

"Not at all."

"But I hope you won't go on to buy a duplicate of everything in your house just for my sake!" I joked.

He laughed. "Duplicates? Of course not! As a lady, you deserve to have things in a more elegant, feminine style. You'll see - I think you'll like the armchair."

Alright, I guess I can forget what I said about necessary expense.

But back to Raoul. I need to figure out what to do!

I know I should probably break up with him, but what if my current annoyance with him is just a phase? And he's so sweet! You know what, - I think I'll give it a month, and if I'm still as unenthusiastic as I am now, I'll let him down as gently as possible. I'm sure all the freshman cheerleaders will be overjoyed.

(I heard them in the bathroom: "Raoul? He's like - so hot. But his girlfriend - what's her name - she's such a cold b****, I don't know why he puts up with her. I mean, okay, she's cute, but he could do so much better! Like, I would totally give him my V card." Oh dear…)