Uncanny New Mutants

Chapter 53: Do You Feel Lucky?- Part 1

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- 'So… Humans have easily injured knees… My race will find this information very useful indeed! Muhuhahahaha!'- Morbo the News Monster (Futurama)


The Xavier Institute For Higher Learning-

The Russian mutant known as Illyana Rasputin was in her bedroom preparing for a date she was going on with Doug Ramsey. Illyana's best friend Kitty Pryde was also in the room with her. Illyana and Kitty had hardly spent any time together since the blonde young woman had come back from the dead, and how better to get to know another again than helping a friend prepare for a date?

'Oh, God, I'm so nervous…' Illyana exhaled anxiously. 'I've never even been on a date before. Not even in the old days.'

'Hey, sit down and compose yourself, 'Yana.' Kitty advised her friend. 'It's not like it's the end of the world. Hey, it's only a date with Doug.'

'That's why I'm worried.' Illyana responded. 'What if something goes wrong? Something always goes wrong whenever the X-Men go out on dates.'

'That isn't true.' Kitty countered. 'Why, the last time Piotr and I went on a date…'

'You were kidnapped by Arcade.' Illyana finished for her friend.

'Yeah, you're right.' Kitty shook her head sadly. 'You're doomed.'


Elsewhere-

A short distance away, in another bedroom in the Institute, Doug Ramsey was preparing for the date as well. He was accompanied by the techno-organic alien known as Warlock. Just like Illyana and Kitty, Doug and Warlock had been best friends once upon a time. They also had little time to catch up since the former had returned. The fact that Warlock was now married with children cut back on their hanging out time.

'Lock, can I ask you something personal?' Doug looked at his alien friend as he put on his finest shoes.

'Sure, go ahead.' Warlock nodded. 'You can ask me anything.'

'Is me being back awkward for you and Rahne?' Doug enquired. 'I mean, what with our history together and all.'

'If it was awkward, I wouldn't be here helping you prepare, would I?' Warlock pointed out. 'Besides, Rahne's a married woman now. That isn't something that you take lightly.'

'Do you think Illyana will like this shirt?' Doug asked as he showed his old friend the clothes he was wearing. 'I mean, I'm not exactly the most fashion conscious person, but this does seem pretty stylish, right?'

'Buddy, Illyana would be happy if you were wearing a potato sack.' Warlock explained. 'Stop worrying so much, everything will be fine.'

'Famous last words.' Doug sighed heavily as he picked up his coat on the way to the door. 'Well, it's now or never…'


Downstairs-

Doug and Warlock were standing in the main hallway of the mansion as they waited for Illyana to finish getting ready.

'Geez, Ill never understand why it takes women so long to get ready for a night out.' The blond translator fidgeted nervously.

'That's another one of life's little mysteries, my friend.' Warlock gave his friend a gentle pat on the back.

Doug and Warlock both turned around as they heard somebody walking down the stairs behind them. It was Kitty.

'Illyana's just fixing her hair, Dougie…' The X-Woman known as Shadowcat reported. 'She shouldn't be much longer.'

Doug leant back nervously as Kitty turned serious.

'If you put one finger wrong with Illyana, then I will beat you to death with a shovel.'

Doug just blinked at Kitty in confusion. The brunette young woman's face then turned back to normal.

'Okay, a casual warning is nobody's friend.'

'No kidding.' Warlock grimaced.

Thankfully, Doug was spared any more embarrassment as Illyana made her way down the stairs. Doug's mouth fell open at the sight. The blonde mutant girl was dressed in a slinky black dress and had her golden locks piled atop her head.

'Wow… You're… I mean… Wow.' Doug stammered.

'I can translate drooling man talk.' Kitty smiled at the Russian mutant. 'I think what Doug is saying is that you look wonderful.'

Doug finally managed to remember how to talk as he offered Illyana his arm.

'Are you ready to go?' He asked.

'As ready as I'll ever be.' Illyana nodded.

'Here, take my coat…' Doug offered as he put his coat around his date's shoulders. 'It's cold out.'

Illyana smiled in thanks and wrapped herself in the coat. It felt really warm. It smelled like it had just been washed as well. Illyana loved the smell of freshly washed clothes. The blonde mutant then took Doug's arm and allowed herself to be led outside. Once they had gone, a tearful Kitty turned to regard Warlock.

'They grow up so quickly, don't they?' Kitty sniffled. Warlock just rolled his eyes and handed Kitty a box of tissues. The young woman took one and blew her nose in a rather unwomanly fashion.

Hoooooonnnnnnk!

'Thanks.' Kitty handed back the dripping napkin.


Salem Centre- A little later-

Doug and Illyana were now walking arm-in-arm down the street. The date was going great. They had just been to see a movie and were on their way to the nearest diner for something to eat.

'Wow, the night has been great so far, Dougie.' Illyana smiled as she lay her head on her date's shoulder. 'Now I know what I was missing back in the old days. I feel pretty guilty about how I saw you. I just thought that you were a big dork.'

'Hey, we're all entitled to our opinions.' Doug shrugged. 'To tell you the truth, I used to find you pretty intimidating, what with that Darkchylde thing you had going on.'

'Yeah, I guess guys find a woman with horns, a pointy tail and cloven hooves pretty freaky.' Illyana nodded in understanding. 'There's no need to be scared now, though. I'm not the Darkchylde any more. Hell, I'm not even Magik.'

'So what are you going to call yourself?' Doug asked. 'Every superhero needs a name.'

'Well, I can't use my old codename, that's for sure.' Illyana frowned. 'I lost all my magic skills when I reverted to childhood during all that stuff with the demon invasion of New York. Now all I can do is conjure my sword. I'm not even sure if it's my Soul Sword or just a regular sword that Apocalypse gave me when he brought me back to life and made me one of his Horsemen.'

The pair stopped outside the diner that they were intending to eat inside. Doug made a move to escort Illyana inside when the whole building erupted in a giant fireball, knocking them both to the ground.

Doug got up to his feet slowly.

'Illyana, where are you? Are you okay?'

'I'm afraid that yuir wee lassie cannae hear ye, boyo.' An evil irish voice laughed. Doug watched as his attackers made themselves known. One person who was speaking to him was dressed in a black-and-red costume with a high collar and a neatly-trimmed black beard. Doug recognised him from the X-Men's files. It was Black Tom Cassidy.

Accompanying Black Tom was a man with wavy brown hair and goatee. He wearing a uniform in the same style as Black Tom Cassidy. Doug recognised him as Trevor Fitzroy, a mutant criminal from the same alternate future that Bishop originated from.

Also with Black Tom and Fitzroy were garrison Kane and Thunderbird, a former member of the Weapon-X Project with cybernetic arms, and an Apache former member X-Man who had died on their very first mission.

'What have you done with Illyana, you bastards?' Doug demanded.

'It's like ol' Tom says, kid…' Fitzroy snickered as he indicated the Irish mutant with a jerk of his thumb. 'Your little girlfriend can't hear you.'

Thunderbird pulled an unconscious Illyana up by her hair. Kane shook his head with mock sadness.

'Kid, it seems like she came down with an unfortunate case of death. Now, get out of here while you still can. Our quarrel isn't with you. Apocalypse only wanted us to take down this little traitor.'

'I'm not going anywhere.' Doug retorted angrily. 'I'm going to make you pay for what you did to Illyana!'

'Yeah, I'm sure you will.' Thunderbird snorted in derision. 'We're all quaking in our boots, squirt.'

Kane looked to his fellow Horsemen.

'Well, if the kid wants a fight, what do you guys say we give him one?' The cybernetic ally-enhanced mercenary asked.

'It barely seems fair tae fight somebody without any discernable powers.' Black Tom shrugged. 'But then, since when have I ever cared about playin' fair?'

TBC…


Next: Do You Feel Lucky?- Part 2

Will Doug be able to take on the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse all on his own? Is Illyana really dead? Tune in next time to find out…