Thanks to ArainaHaldthin, Cartlin, Maia2, Bloop, TimeLady945, no-MY name's Anonymous, Tsukiau, Vamp-Fledging, Ms. Jynesis, Angelpaint07, Daku-DarkNess316, articwolfgirl347, Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl, STARSCREAM RULEZ, doesthatmakemepokey, Warrior-Maid-of-the-Shadows, thestralrider, Kai Maciel, Sandy-wmd, vkeithley, Yaraslava Rada, Ynath Esrith, Like it Random, NatheRiver, Myth Princess, Lavendary, SoulMore, BlackRaven64, YellowWomanontheBrink, LokilovesNutella, Hiddleslover, Aruyn, hello, Smiley and Bombshell1701 for their reviews.

Thanks to my wonderful beta, Artificial Life Creator

...

Pepper knocked on Loki's door and waited for an invitation before entering.

"You're here, thank the Nine!" Loki flopped over in relief with the soft sound of crumpling paper. "My swim bag's by the door."

"That can't be a very comfortable blanket," observed Pepper as she sat on the floor.

Loki lifted his head from the stack of Robert Munch books he had spread around him, "Oh, I seem to be making myself at home."

"Would your mother say, "Oh Loki, I'm so happy you're feeling more yourself", or would she be awfully impressed with this blanket of picture books?"

"I'll err on the side of caution and ask that we go to the pool. Now, preferably."

"Are you sure you don't want a debriefing from your mother?"

"I don't plan on running around in the buff, so no."

"Her meeting with Fury won't last long; you're sure you don't want to wait?"

Loki heaved himself upright with a dark look. "Pepper, I have been sitting in this room for five hours. Not only do I believe Robert Munch is explaining nuclear physics in code but in fact I'm well on my way to concluding a logical argument for how he is doing it."

"You're bored."

"I passed bored on my third read-through." He sighed. "Even if I were not, I believe that you and I, at least, have gotten past the embarrassment of me requiring aid in virtually everything I do. Besides, what is the point of a routine if one does not adhere to it?"

"Can you walk, or shall I carry you?"

"I'd rather walk, but Dr Banner would 'freak out' if I did. He thinks I'm pushing myself too hard."

"You're really getting earth vernacular down, aren't you?"

"I'm good with words." He frowned for a moment as Pepper picked up him and then the swim bag by the door. Once they were in the elevator going down the five floors to the swimming pool, Loki spoke again. "Pepper, the scar on my arm – that used to be on my arm..."

"Yes?"

"Does my mother know?"

Pepper studied the little demigod. "I don't know."

"She probably does."

"Probably." Pepper hesitated, and then added gently, "Is that such a bad thing? She can't help if you don't let her know you need help."

"I don't-" Loki started, and then stopped. "I'm afraid of hurting her. I don't always know when I need help, either."

"I'm pretty sure that your mother is stronger than you think."

Loki frowned. "I know that she's strong. But... I've already hurt her so much, Pepper. If she knew why I did it... it would break her heart again. I wish-"

The elevator stopped. The doors dinged open to admit Tony. Pepper was a little disappointed. Her conversation with Loki would have to wait, but she doubted that it would actually continue.

"'Ey Pepper, where're you going?" Tony asked with distracted interest as he tapped on a tablet.

"Swimming," Pepper replied.

And suddenly the tablet was as boring as paperwork. A sly grin crossed his face. "Are you wearing your swimming suit under your clothes?"

Loki made a small, disgusted noise. "I'm right here!"

Tony rose and eyebrow. "After those text messages you sent out, you're too shy to handle an innocent – well, sort of innocent – question?" he turned back to Pepper. "Is it that blue one I bought you for your birthday?"

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed, blushing furiously as she realised which one he was referring to. "Stop!"

"Of course, my favourite is that pink one-"

"I'm going to interrupt you right there, Mr Stark, since you have once again seemed to have forgotten that I am here," Loki said quickly. He shook his head, looking both amused and a little disgusted. "I would say that this all seems mildly inappropriate, but I get the feeling that there is nothing mild about it."

"Nope," Tony said with a smirk, which dropped quickly when he saw the look on Pepper's face. "There's nothing inappropriate at all is what I meant. It's all completely innocent. Depending on how you define innocent..."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Tony."

"You're smiling though. You think I'm adorable."

"I also think aye-ayes are adorable."

"Will you two stop flirting already?" Loki interrupted.

Tony shrugged. "Are we making up uncomfortable, Lokster?"

"Don't call me that."

"But it's so cute. Just like-"

"I am not cute!" Loki exclaimed, glaring in the most adorable manner at Tony.

Tony laughed and looked back at his tablet. "Nope. Not cute at all. Lokster."

#

In a small, dark room on the Helicarrier, two heads crouched in front of a trio of glowing monitors. On the special ultra-HD screens, they could see Captain Steve Rodgers passing in a meeting room, while the alien queen of Asgard sat watching him with a bemused expression.

"Agent, where are you? Show's about to start!" hissed Agent (Two). A moment later, she said to Agent (One), "She'll be here in two with popcorn."

Agent One rubbed his ear with a scowl. "Yea, I heard. Turn your earwig down you goof."

"Turn your earwig down you goof," Agent Two muttered but tapped the headset anyway.

"He looks nervous, eh?"

"The Captain? Seriously. I kinda wanna give him some Xanax or something."

"Like it'd work. Think he kinda lost that card when he should've been getting all comfy 'n the like with the chain of command. Anyway, he wouldn't take it. All too sci-fi and shiny for him," Agent Three said sadly, making the others jump as she handed them bags of microwaved popcorn.

Agent Two shoved her over.

"Ow! No, 'shiny' like 'high tech' and 'everything chrome'! 'Course he likes stuff that isn't boring."

Agent Two didn't look convinced.

Agent One turned to the screens. "I think we missed something."

"She said he looked nervous, he said he was fine," said Agent Three.

The Agents Three fell into the silence of crunching popcorn as they waited for something exciting to happen. But nothing exciting was happening.

"Why are they here again?" whispered Agent Two.

"Fury called in the Captain, and the Queen requested that she meet him, apparently she was so polite that Cap couldn't possibly say no," explained Agent Three, and Agent One punched her shoulder.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"Being smug and insulting Captain America."

"Any idea what the meeting's about?" interrupted Agent Two.

"Something about the crazy horned guy who tried to blow up the Helicarrier. He's on the mend from a bug that kept him contained," Agent Three responded, rubbing her shoulder.

"I didn't think those guys could get sick," Agent Two asked, offering hand sanitizer to the other agents.

Agent One accepted it. "Should we get vaccines or something?"

Agent Three shushed them as the Captain opened his mouth, but then he started pacing again without speaking and they all let out a collective sigh of disappointment.

"So now they're trying to figure out what to do with Horns?" asked Agent Two, stealing a handful of popcorn from Agent Three.

Agent Three didn't notice. "Yeah, the Avenger-jury's been out for hours."

"Ya know, if you'd have said "closeted away" I'd have asked if they were in somewhere like this," giggled Agent Two, patting the wall.

"You kidding? You can barely get the Captain in here, let alone the six of 'em," said Agent One.

They pondered that for a moment.

"I think we need to gain weight," said Agent Two

Agent Three scoffed. "You, maybe. Me? Not a chance."

"Good thing the Director's not there," continued Agent One.

"In a closest?" the other two asked.

"At Stark Tower."

"Is he coming in as a consultant?" asked Agent Two.

"That's Stark's job," said Agent Three.

"Wouldn't the Director have ideas?"

"Ideas that wouldn't sit well with the team I bet," said Agent Three. "Except Barton."

"Speaking of Barton, what happened to him, anyway?" Agent Two wiggled her butt to get more comfy. "He used to be a lot of fun but ever since Horns and New York he's like this brooding, angst-ridden Bourne Legacy kinda guy."

"Have you even seen Bourne Legacy?" Agent Three asked.

"No."

"You should. I've got it on Blue-ray, maybe we can-"

"Do you two not know what happened?" Agent One interrupted. "That Loki guy totally messed up Barton's head. And then he killed Coulson, and Coulson's the one that brought Barton into SHEILD. Plus he was the only decent father-figure the guy had... he was abused pretty bad by his own dad, and apparently saw his little sister murdered when she was three."

"How do you know that?" Agent Three asked. "I don't even know that."

"Haven't you ever read his file?"

"We're allowed to read their files?"

"... Hey look, Fury's just come in." Agent One stuffed a bunch of popcorn into his mouth.

And he had. Agent Maria Hill followed two steps behind and nodded a greeting to the Captain.

"Is Rogers sweating?" Agent Three whispered gleefully, and earned a punch in the arm from Agent One.

"He didn't dress up!" Agent Two said indignantly, and then: "Does Fury even own anything besides that leather trench coat?"

"Captain," Fury acknowledged, and the agents fell silent as the Director then turned to the Queen. "I am director Nick Fury of S.H.E.I.L.D. Welcome to Earth."

"Thor has spoken most highly of you, Director. I am Frigga, Queen of Asgard and mother to Thor and Loki," Frigga replied, extending her hand, which Fury shook.

"WHOA!" said Agent Three and they were suddenly sitting far back from the monitors. "She totally just schooled him! 'Delicately' reminding him of the connection between 'queen of a place a bazillion times more powerful than yours' and 'Loki is my kid you jerk' in one move, awe-some!"

"They don't bug the closets, right?" asked Agent Two.

"Cap looks really hot when he's surprised," said Agent One.

"Captain Rogers informed me as to whom you were. I have to say that it was a surprise that you would come visit our planet," Fury replied.

"Does he sound overly polite to you?" asked Agent One.

"This is fun, we should do it more often," Agent Two commented, and the other two nodded.

"I realise that my arrival has been somewhat abrupt, but given the circumstances with my son, I'm sure you'll understand. After all, a mother does not stand by idly while her child suffers."

"Score another point for the Queen!"

Fury nodded deeply. "I will need to speak with Captain Rogers alone. This is Agent Maria Hill. She can get you anything that you require."

"Of course, Director." Frigga smiled warmly at Agent Hill. "But before your meeting, I would just like to thank you on behalf of myself and my husband, Odin AllFather, King of Asgard, for the courtesy and compassion that you have extended to our sons, and the great care you have given them for their well-being on your world."

"Wow," breathed Agent Three.

"She is so cool," said Agent Two.

"Okay, seriously, that statement was totally loaded," continued Agent Three.

Agent One blinked, "Yea, you'll have to explain that. I was distracted. The Captain turned his back to the camera. And by back I mean-"

"We know what you mean."

"All I heard was the Queen talking down the Director," confessed Agent Two

"The Director's had to be cool with Loki here, right? The Queen basically said, "I know you're not keen on extending continued courtesy towards my wittle darling, and I know demands or direct threats of force would get me nowhere so there's no real possible way for me to guarantee the safety of my son, but I'll thank you for what you've done thus far and casually remind you that my son's parents are the king and queen of the most powerful, and only alien realm of which your puny civilization has encountered." She basically kept reinforcing the connection between her and Loki, making it really clear that any action against Loki has a… well, a greater an opposite reaction from Azreal."

"Asgard," murmured Agent Two.

"Right. Knew it started with an 'A'." Agent Three pulled her knees to her chest and grinned, "I wanna be a politician again."

"But she didn't say any of that, she just meant it, right?" asked Agent Twp.

"Exactly! Isn't that freaking awesome?"

"Shush. Fury's talking again," hissed Agent One.

"Thor was instrumental in protecting earth from Loki's attack," Fury answered, still polite. "We owe him out gratitude."

"Is he gonna lose the eye?" whispered Agent One.

"She's still smiling?" offered Agent Three.

"Hasn't batted an eyelash," said Agent Two.

"No wonder she's Queen!" said Agent Three. "You think she'd let me take a picture with her?

"Look at Cap. I can't tell if he's worried or enjoying this as much as we are."

"I don't think anybody could enjoy this as much as we are."

"Hill's smirking. I think she's enjoying this."

The Queen stepped up to Fury and gracefully laid her hand on his shoulder. "Thor has always felt responsible for his brother, ever since they were his children. He considers it his duty."

Fury's one eye gazed at Frigga keenly. He nodded once, acquiescing to her point. "Agent Hill, perhaps you can give Her Majesty a quick tour of the Helicarrier?"

"Yes, sir," Agent Hill responded. "If you could come with me ma'am?"

The two women left, leaving Steve alone with Fury.

"Why isn't the Captain saying anything?" whispered Agent One.

"He's waiting for the Direct-" Agent Three found a hand clapped over her mouth.

"Pitting me against the whole royal family of Asgard," Fury said, still looking at the door.. "Clever."

Agent Two cleared her throat. "No comment," she said deeply.

Fury looked back to the Captin and grinned wryly. "I like her."

#

"This is an incredible vessel," Frigga commented as Agent Hill led her down a shiny corridor.

"Thank you very much ma'am; I'll pass along your regards to the engineers," said Agent Hill. She stopped outside a non-descript door, a strange contraption that only opened for the plastic cards mortals never seemed to be without.

"What sort of duties does the second-in-command of such a vessel have?"

"I oversee the majority of the day-to-day affairs." She slid her card through the lock and the door slid open-

"THE LIGHT!"

"MY EYES!"

"Like terrifying the rookies," Agent Hill explained, her expression completely serious.

Frigga tried not to look too amused as three Agents tumbled into the hall. But what, exactly, was a rookie? Perhaps a servant of some sort?

"Get back to work!" ordered Agent Hill.

The rookies stumbled to their feet but stood staring at Frigga as though she was... well, as though she was a goddess. She smiled politely at them.

"How did you know they were there?" asked Frigga.

Agent Hill tapped her ear, "One of the communications' monitors found them during a radio sweep. They were adding commentary to your meeting with the Director."

Frigga pursed her lips, puzzled. "I am sure that made sense to you."

"Sorry. I guess I thought that with both your children here you would familiarize yourself with the local technology."

"Thor tried to explain to me how a toaster works. It ended with he and Loki arguing for two hours which flavour of poptart is the best, apple or blueberry. For the record, it's strawberry."

"Um, Agent Hill?" asked Agent Two.

"If this is about Captain America, go ask Fury."

"That's me!" called Agent One, waving his hand.

"We- I was wondering if Her Majesty had considered getting a flu shot, since I heard Horns- er, I mean I heard His Highness the prince had such a bad reaction to that bug that's going around…"

"Thank you for your concern, my dear," Frigga said, "but I can assure you that there is no more danger of anybody on this world to be infected with the Valdkvikindi."

"Vald whodawhadawhat?

"It's need-to-know, and you don't need to know," Agent Hill explained shortly to the rookies. "Now you three get back to work or you'll find a bug of a different sort in an entirely different place."

"It's the threats that make no sense that are the scariest," Agent Three muttered, starting up the corridor. "Bourne Legacy, my quarters at eight."

"We'll be there!" Agent Two replied, heading in the opposite way.

"You will. I hate movies that are all guns and explosions," Agent One replied, following after her.

"Sorry about that, ma'am," Agent Hill said. "Shall we continue the tour?"

"By all means, although I am not sure what could be more entertaining than that. But tell me:. What exactly is a 'bug'?"

#

"Your mother is amazing," Steve said, plunking down next to Thor in the library, where he was reading Paradise Lost. Loki was looking tiny in an overstuffed chair nearby, a book on his lap that appeared to be written in ancient Mayan hieroglyphics. His hair looked damp.

Thor raised his eyebrows. "What happened?"

"She backed Fury into a diplomatic corner. He's really impressed by her. I am, too. She was masterful!"

"Captain Rogers." There was a definite bite in Loki's voice, "You are aware that she is married, are you not?"

Steve's brows furrowed. "What? Of course I know."

Loki and Thor shared a glance, one that Steve didn't understand. Thor shut his book with a snap and narrowed his eyes at the Captain. "So you are thinking that our mother is one who would treat her marital vows as something for naught and forsake her fidelity to our father for a whirlwind affair with a mortal such as yourself?"

"What?" Steve stared at Thor as though he was speaking Norse. "No! I wasn't- I'm not- I have no interest in your mother-"

"What's this? Is Frigga, the blessed Queen of Asgard, not good enough for you?" Loki demanded.

Steve was equal part confused, embarrassed and afraid. Both Loki and Thor were glaring at him. How the heck had this started? Better yet, how could he end it?

"That's not what I'm saying. All I was saying is that she's-"

"Choose your words wisely, mortal!" Thor growled.

Steve stared at him. "What is going on here?"

Loki looked over his head. "Mother! You have returned."

Frigga walked over and sat on the armrest beside him. "Of course I have. What's wrong?"

"The Captain was just telling us how much he desires you," Loki responded promptly. Steve couldn't make his brain work enough to deny it. "I was growing afraid that he was getting... well, to use a human term, 'grabby', and that he had offended you. I am glad that he has not acted on his impulses. They are quite amorous, judging by the way he was talking."

Frigga's eyebrows rose. She surveyed Steve with interest. "Is that so?"

Steve scrambled to his feet, shaking his head. His face was growing hot. "I never said anything-"

"It's all right, Mother," Thor interrupted. "We have informed the mortal that you are loyal to the vows you took when you wedded our father."

"Of course you did," Frigga said demurely and then added, "but Odin is far away." She winked seductively at Steve with a small, sexy smile. "Does seven work for you?"

"Seven?" Steve repeated.

"You'd better go ask Stark if he's got champagne," Loki said, sounding somewhat defeated.

"Champagne?"

"Of course," Thor said, narrowing his eyes. "You must have only the best if you expect to engage in a night of passion with our mother-"

"Whoa! Stop it! There is no night of passion!" Steve's face was so hot- well, it would have come in handy when he was a Capsicle. "I didn't- I don't- I-" He took a breath. "This is all a misunderstanding!"

Thor snorted with laughter. As if it was a trigger, Frigga started giggling. Thor burst out laughing, slapping his knees. Steve stared at him first, and then at Frigga. Lastly he looked at Loki, who was still dead serious.

"What are you waiting for? Go get the champagne," Loki ordered, pointing to the door.

"I don't understand what's happening," Steve said.

Loki's face twitched, and the next second he was laughing too. The three Asgardians bumped their fists together and continued laughing so hard that they couldn't speak. Tears rolled down Thor's face. Loki would almost get himself back under control, but then look at Steve's expression and it would set him off again. Steve stared at them for a good long while, waiting for an explanation, but decided that it wasn't going to be forthcoming while they were all cracking up like they were, and so shook his head and left the library.

#

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