Chapter 53


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Five weeks later...

At the grill near Casey's office, she and Olivia sat in a booth enjoying lunch as Olivia was ending a call.

"Nick, it's fine okay? Casey filled in...yes I'm sure." She laughed heartily at something he said. "Okay...I'll see you at home tonight...I love you too."

"I still can't believe I got to see the babies in person," Casey said as she rubbed Olivia's belly. "Did you know you have two babies in here?"

"Yes, and so did you."

"Yeah, but to see them up close and personal. God, it's amazing!"

"Casey, are you thinking about maybe having one?" Olivia asked as she swallowed her mouthful of food.

"No! ...God, no! ...I don't know, maybe one day, but definitely not now." She said and ate a forkful of pasta.

"Well, a bit of advice, don't wait too long once you're sure..." Suddenly the babies began kicking and Olivia smoothed over her belly with both hands, as she looked down. One of which was newly freed from the cast that had held it the last few weeks.

"They must be kicking again."

"Like crazy...feel!" She took Casey's hand and placed it on her belly. Casey smiled when she felt them moving and looked at Olivia.

"You seem so at peace."

"I am. In spite of you-know-who. But it's hard not to be with all of this happening. We have our daughter, my husband and I are more in love than ever, and we just moved into our dream home and on top of all that, we have these perfect little miracles coming soon. I just; I dreamed of this life but…"

"I know," Casey said, remembering all-too-well the days when, for years, Olivia wanted nothing more than to be with her partner. It was a miracle when, after he left that Olivia ended up falling in love with Nick because Casey thought for sure that they were just sex like many other men had been over the years.

"It's amazing what can happen when you're not looking for it." She said as her phone rang. "Yeah, Captain? ...okay, I'll be there in ten. We gotta go."

"Which case?"

"Waxman."

"Oh boy!"


Five weeks and he hadn't made a move as far as Olivia and Nick. He was planning his next ones carefully, especially now that he had another to take revenge on.

"¡Dios mío! ¿Que le pasó a tu Cara?" Caesarea cried and jumped to inspect Manny as he was brought into the general visiting room. She had worried all night waiting to see him, and now finally, she was here and quickly sorry that she had come.

There were cuts to his head. Both of his eyes were blacked, with a litany of other damage to his beautiful face. Here it was, just under a month away from being Christmas, and it was bad enough that he was in here, although he deserved it. But he didn't deserve to be beaten, even if he did bring it on himself. And when she saw him, it nearly killed her.

"I got into a fight." Manny offered, flatly. No explanation as he took her hand in his. But Caesarea already knew.

"No touching!" The guard shouted to her from the wall of the large room that was full of inmates and their families. Manny dropped his hand and she reluctantly took hers away, staring at him teary-eyed for a long moment before they sat.

"I was gonna ask how you're holding up in here, but I really don't have to."

"Does it matter, ma?"

"Yes, it matters" She whispered. "You think it's easy for me to come here and see you like this? Because it's not!"

"That's funny, cuz you didn't seem too concerned when you were urging me to come back!"

"Because you had to answer for what you'd done. Do you think that means that I don't still love you with every ounce of my heart?"

"If you did, then you'd believe me when I say, I didn't do anything!"

"Stop it!"

"Mam-"

"No! What is wrong with you? Did nothing I said to you a few weeks ago get through? Manny, you can't keep going like this! And bringing Zara into it; what did you think would happen?"

"So you know?"

"I warned you that you were gonna go far!" She said angrily, in a muted voice. Although she wanted nothing more than to yell at him. "Tell me that you didn't do this; that you didn't put Zara in the middle of this, Manny, you promised!

"Oh, so, you're on his side?"

"Listen to you! You still think this is about choosing sides? Manny, baby, you're drowning and you can't even see it!"

"I'm not drowning."

"Really? You've put your niece-"

"She is not my niece."

"You put your niece in between all of this insanity, all because you want to avoid a rape charge? What if they had taken you seriously?"

"She is not my niece, she's my daughter!"

"She is not your daughter! Have you ever claimed her? Ever even told anybody that she was yours? No, because you didn't want her! You let your brother take responsibility for your actions all these years and you never said a thing. So don't you come with this now, because it's bullshit! No quieres a Zara, quieres lo que crees que Puede Hacer por ti, y te lo digo, Manny, se detiene!"

"So what if I do want what she can do for me?! I'm sitting here, faced with a rape that I'm innocent of, and all you can do is-"

"Where did I go wrong with you?"

"I think you should go!"

"Manny-"

"...and don't come back." He said and got up, walking out through the prisoners exit and leaving Caesarea in tears.

Five weeks ago, he thought he had a mother who loved him… His own mother. But what did he really expect from her?

She said she wasn't choosing sides, but she obviously chose him! Still, he couldn't worry about that. He had to get through his time here and worry about them when he got out. And he would get out. His lawyer was working on an airtight defense for him. And though he hated to make Olivia look as bad as he was going to, he had to look out for himself. In the end, he'd make her understand. But first, he needed Amanda!


On the other side of town that afternoon, Amanda sat in a diner, stirring a cup of hot chocolate that she was slowly sipping from as she waited for her guest. A waitress came by and asked her if she was ready to order, and although she wanted to wait for her company, she was starving and told the waitress to bring her a blueberry muffin. When the waitress walked off, she looked at her watch again; five after twelve. She hated when people were late. It was her one pet peeve, and she wasn't in the mood for it. Not today. Not when everything came down to this meeting that she had put off for far too long.

God damn him! She thought again, for probably the tenth time that morning. He wanted her to come and see him, and he'dpractically begged her while he apologized again.

Was she crazy? Apparently so, though she'd been apprehensive the whole time she was on the phone. This was, if true, the final nail in the proverbial coffin of Manny. It would prove that she hadn't known Manny, like so many others before she fell for him. And Amanda knew that it would kill her, and even still she didn't know exactly what she would do. Manny had already made it clear to her weeks ago that she was nothing more than a prop to him, so why was she even entertaining going back? Maybe it's because she thought about it, and he didn't actually admit to doing anything to Olivia.

Could it be that perhaps she was too quick to judge? Maybe it was just the emotions of the case that put him on edge and made him say the things he said. She had to know.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Amanda? ...oh, that's right, you're out of your friggin mind!" She said as she teared up and quickly wiped her eyes and just sat there, staring at the people outside the window that were going by, and she saw a young couple kissing at the corner. She longed to feel what that woman was feeling. The truth was, she'd never felt for any man the way she did Emmanuel. Sure, there had been instances of love, or what she thought was love…

"What do you feel for him?" She asked herself, having a sudden moment of clarity. "You barely knew the guy, and here you are, turning your life upside down for him, and for what? A guy with a nice smile and a big dick who swears he's innocent?" No. It had to be more, and on the off-chance that this was just a big mistake if she could in any way salvage this, she was going to try. And she sat in the booth and checked her watch again just as the blonde woman walked in.

She saw her, tall with giant boobs that hardly fit into her coat, and hair piled high on her head. The woman stood in the doorway and looked around the diner before she saw Amanda waving to her, and she made her way over to the booth.

"Lynn?" Amanda asked.

"Hey," Lynn said and took a seat, facing Amanda in the booth.

"Thank you for coming," Amanda said, just as the waitress came back with her muffin. "Can I get you anything, sweetheart?"

"No, just coffee, thanks," Lynn said to the waitress, before turning back to Amanda. "What exactly are you hoping to gain here?"

"Straight to the point."

"Well, we pretty much; thank you." She told the waitress who had come back and poured her a steaming cup of coffee. "We pretty much gave our introductions over the phone. I know what you want, so, no sense in beating around the bush." She said while she reached for the sugar.

"Good enough." Amanda agreed as she popped a huge piece of muffin in her mouth.

"I know that you want to talk to me about what happened."

Amanda finished chewing, then took a large sip of her cocoa. "That day in the hospital; what happened?"

Lynn sipped her coffee, nodding before she spoke. "You mean the day that I decided to throw my entire career away? I wish every day that I could go back and never have taken his money!"

"When you say, 'him', you mean…"

"Who else? Emmanuel Amaro. The thing is, I knew what he was doing to that woman, the second he offered me money to leave the room, but I took it anyway and kept my mouth closed. God...his own fucking sister-in-law!"

"What exactly...what exactly did he do?"

"I didn't see it blow for blow, but I know it was bad. When her husband asked me to check her out later that day; she had marks on her breasts, like someone had bitten them, and down below…" She said as tears filled her eyes. "There was some bleeding; damage was done to her vaginal cavity that hadn't been there, fresh little tears and traces of seminal fluid… But I just ignored that because her husband was there and I knew it would be over for me…God, I should've said something. And I know it doesn't make a difference now, but tell your friend I'm sorry. I'm just glad that Manny is in jail getting what's coming to him!"

Amanda pushed her plate away, looking like she'd just lost her appetite and fought hard not to vomit, fighting even harder not to cry as she spoke. "And...you're sure about this?"

"Honey, I got no reason to lie. Hell, it's a wonder that I'm not in jail… but Manny screwed me. And I suppose I'm as much at fault, but I lost my nursing license." She said then looked at her watch. "Are we done here? I have an interview to get to."

"Yeah...um...thank you for coming."


Getting up the following morning and going to work felt like a chore that Amanda just didn't want to do. But still, after taking the rest of the day off yesterday so that she could cry and lick her wounds in private. She knew that she had to get up and face the world today. So in spite of wanting to stay in bed, and soothe her broken heart, she got up, took a shower and got dressed.

"Fuck him!" She told herself, repeating it like a mantra. It would take some time; she knew this. But she would get over him. And as she sat in the kitchen area, sipping her coffee, she thought about her options and quickly decided that it was too much to think about this early. She had so many decisions, so much soul searching to do...

"Stop it, Amanda." She said as she jumped down off the counter and dumped her coffee mug in the sink and left the kitchen area as her cell rang. She lifted it from the end table in the living room, shocked speechless that it was a call from Rikers Island.

Standing there, frozen, and staring at the phone. She wondered what she should do. She even contemplated ignoring the call for a second. She'd told Manny weeks ago that she needed time to think and even still, he'd called her almost every week. But now, knowing what she knows... She even had her finger on red, but somehow, it slid its way over to green, and before she knew it, the phone was no longer ringing, and she stood, not knowing what to do next when suddenly, Manny's voice came through the phone.

"Amanda...baby, are you there?" He asked while Amanda stood in her living room and quietly sat down on her couch.

Hang up. Please! Just hang up! She said in her head. She couldn't do this right now. Sure, it had only been five and a half weeks, but those five weeks nearly destroyed her, and honestly, she wasn't sure that they didn't. She didn't need this. Not this morning. Not today. Not this week. Hell, not ever! Her heart couldn't handle this, so why did she find herself doing the opposite of what she knew she should be doing, which was hanging up the phone?

"Amanda-"

"I can't talk to you; not now." It came out so broken, so painful sounding.

"Look, I know you said that you needed time…"

"And I meant it!" She sounded way harsher than she meant to, but her mind had been spinning for the last two weeks. And now, hearing his voice for the first time since she found out everything that Lynn had to say yesterday…

"I know, I just...Amanda, baby, I'm miserable without you!"

Ever since she told herself that there had to be some reason for it. That maybe Lynn was just trying to set him up but who was she kidding? It was like Lynn had told her, she didn't have a reason to lie. And almost as if she'd suddenly had a revelation, she knew what she needed to do.

"Manny…" Was she doing the wrong thing? She thought as she fought the tears that made their way to the surface, but she wouldn't cry them. No matter how much he could hear them in her voice. And as much as she hated it, she needed this. "I um…" She said with tears in her eyes. Don't cry! You can't let him hear that. You can't let him know how much he's hurt you...how much he's… "I need to see you."

Gotcha! He said, oh-so-happily in his head as he smiled. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that." He faked a few tears and made sure she heard them. Performance of your life, Manny; don't fuck it up! He warned himself.

"I'll uh, ill see you soon." She said quietly, then hung up her phone in tears. She quickly dried her eyes before she went about getting her things together, and thinking what a mess she'd made.


At the Sixteenth, the squad was around the table trying to piece together a case when Olivia returned from the bathroom.

"Sorry about that...again." She apologized as she approached to board, her hands on her back to relieve some of the pressure she was experiencing. Now at almost six months, the babies had grown considerably, and baby B seemed to favor nestling near her spine, while baby A preferred a spot on her bladder.

"Don't apologize, Liv. It's okay." Munch said as Fin came back from the fax machine Meanwhile, Munch put his hand on her back and held her hand while he helped her sit down.

"Munch, I don't need to sit-"

"Don't argue either. And drink your smoothie!" He said as he moved the cup closer to her. She rolled her eyes, playfully and picked up the cup, taking a sip from the straw before she spoke.

"Where were we?"

We got a lead on Romy James." Fin said as he passed the fax around to everyone.

"He had a record in Tennessee for elder abuse?" Olivia seemed shocked, reading the sheet she was just handed.

"Not just abuse, but he got convicted back then for cooking meth!" Fin said.

"I don't get it; how did this guy come here and get a job in old folks home?" Liv said. "I mean, somebody obviously failed on background checks."

"There was none," Munch said, looking at the laptop, just as Nick entered the squad room. "Hey, look who's here!" He said cheerfully. Olivia quickly turned around in time to see him walking towards her.

"Nick!"

"Hey, babe." He said and kissed her, rubbing her stomach. "Hey, guys."

"What are you doing here?"

"I missed you. And since I had a minute, I thought I'd come and make sure you're alright."

"I'm glad you did."

"You got a minute?" He asked as she got up and he followed her into the interview room. Once inside, she locked the door and he closed the blinds before he took her in his arms and delivered a smoldering kiss. Carrying on until he felt the twins kick against his stomach.

"Hey, a moment?" He said playfully to her stomach as he put his hands over it to feel the babies. "I can't believe that a month ago I couldn't even feel them moving and now they're kicking!"

"And you can feel them…"

"And I can feel them! ...did I tell you how much I love you?"

"For?"

"This." He said, motioning to her stomach. "I never got to experience this with Zara, I never got to be a part of this, to feel like my babies know me." His hands roamed her swell as his eyes glistened over with tears. "...I'm going through this, like you for the first time and it feels pretty damn amazing!" She kissed him, then threw her arms around him, holding him tight.

Out in the squad room, Olivia was walking Nick out.

"Leavin' already?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, my partners in the car outside. I'll see you at home tonight." Nick said to Olivia before he gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Later guys."

"Take it easy." Munch said as Nick left, and Olivia went to sit down at the table.

"So about Romy James...hey where's Amanda? Isn't she the lead on this? It's not like her to be late."


Thinking back to two weeks ago. She still couldn't get over the shock, she didn't think she ever would. How could this happen? She'd played it over and over again in her mind but she could never come to terms with it.

He said that this was all a mistake, that he'd said those things out of anger and frustration. He didn't mean them. But they'd her hurt no less, and then to find out what she'd found out yesterday.

"You are out of your mind!" She said out loud, laughing almost hysterically with tears rolling down her face. This was a mistake! She'd known it when she was talking to Manny. She'd known when she said she needed to see him, this was all a mistake! She couldn't see him and now she felt so stupid for even suggesting it.

There was suddenly a knock on her car window, scaring her out of her thoughts and making her wipe her face before rolling down the window to see the security guard standing there.

"Ma'am?"

"Its detective, actually." She said as she fumbled in her purse for her badge and showed it to him. "Detective Rollins."

"I'm so sorry, detective. Uh, do you need help with something?"

"No. I was just...just...checking my messages. I'm sorry for the holdup." She apologized and drove through.

...

She was in the private visiting room for maybe ten minutes when she saw Manny approaching from outside, through the far window and she braced herself for his entrance. But Manny had other ideas that had began as soon as she said that she needed to see him. She missed him and she couldn't deny it any longer. She wanted him, but he couldn't blame her, hell, if he were a woman, he'd want him too!

You fine ass motherfucker! He smiled and quickly wiped his face clear of it as the guard opened the door to the visitor's room and they went in.

"Detective." The guard said to Amanda as he brought Manny in and began removing his shackles. "If you need me, I'll be right outside."

Thanks, Bobby." She said as he finished and stepped outside. Manny immediately took her in his arms.

"I have missed you so much!" But when Amanda pulled away without so much as a hello, Manny got worried. "Aren't you happy to see me?" He wondered. Amanda just looked at him as she wrapped her arms around herself and walked to the other end of the room. "Amanda?"

"You lied to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I talked to Lynn; from the hospital; the nurse you bribed."

"Bribed?" He feigned to be shocked at what she was saying.

"Please don't. She told me all about how she caught you, how you took advantage of a woman who was in a coma, a coma that you put her in!"

"Amanda -"

"You raped her!" She said, unable to hold her tears.

"We're back on this again? Baby, I thought-"

"Everything she said, that you swore to me was a lie these last few weeks!"

"Baby, let me ex-"

"Get away from me… never again! I came to tell you that it's over, I don't want you, I don't want anything to do with you!"

"You bitch!"

"Goodbye, Emmanuel. I hope they throw the book at you, you sick bastard!" She said and turned to walk out the door but before she could get it open, he grabbed her by the hair from behind and wrapped his hands tightly around her neck, slamming her onto the table that was in the room.

"You think you can just walk in here and dismiss me?" He seethed, low and angry in her ear as she fought to get him off of her, but he was too strong. "I took pity on you!"

Amanda clawed at his hands, and when that didn't work, she pushed at his face, trying to scratch it as she was quickly starting to lose consciousness.

"Manny...please!" She cried as her voice gave out. But he had lost all sense and the only thing that mattered to him was taking her out of this life! Luckily, the guard caught sight of him and rushed to unlock the door after he hit the alarm.

"Let her go!" Bobby yelled and grabbed manny up around his neck with his club as the other guards ran in and started to beat Manny until he let go of Amanda. She turned over on her side, coughing and gasping for air as the guards threw Manny on the floor and cuffed him.

"Detective Rollins, are you okay?" One of the guards said as he rushed over to her, but still gasping, she let her head off the table and threw up. The rest of the guards pulled Manny up from the floor after he'd been chained, and they started to escort him out.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BITCH! ALL OF YOU!" He screamed as they took him out of the room and he could be heard screaming as he went down the hall.

"Can you stand?" Mark, the guard asked her.

"I'm alright." She said as he helped her off the table and she stumbled into his arms.

"No, you're not. You're seeing the doctor!"


TBC, and Happy New Year, everybody!