Over a year had passed since Sideswipe last saw his brother. But with Sunstreaker back, he had been so sure that things could go back to how they were supposed to be. The two had been separated for long times before, usually because of events that were out of their control. Sunny staying away even longer after his debt had been taken care of was an oddity that didn't help with the ever-present uncomfortable tingling sensation that was an indication of them being apart. But upon Sunstreaker's return, his brother was sullen and more hostile than usual and conversations with him were far from enjoyable. He wasn't accustomed to his twin closing down and shutting him out, either internally or externally, and that both aggravated and grieved him.
Fortunately that didn't last long. But long enough for Sideswipe to become suspicious of the circumstances leading up to his brother's more abhorrent behavior. But with the violent greeting that he had gotten from his brother, and finding Sunstreaker had returned alone and his human charges no where in sight, Alexis not brought back as Sunny had vowed, he didn't have to work hard to figure out his twin's agitation.
Months passed that didn't alter very much from their usual routine. Although he, the Autobots and the humans had accomplished more than he would have believed in such a time. Even Sunny, although he didn't voice it out loud, was impressed with their accomplishment, probably more from the idea of being free of the cumbersome humans.
A new planet had been found for the humans. Alexis' own research used to find the uninhabited world that had long been abandoned by its once powerful and mysterious inhabitants. The planet had enough resources for the humans to survive, but not enough to entice the Decepticons.
This was the very day that it would be decided whether the planet was adequate for the humans, or the months of research and testing was all a waste.
The humans were gathered on the table of the conference room. Soft conversations emanated from all around. The screens came alive in the room. The faces of other human survivors on other ships took up all the space on the monitors.
The discussion lasted two hours. Graphs and projections were looked over, tests reanalysed. The planet's climate shifted more than Earth's had and that fact seemed to hold many back from agreeing to the world.
Just when Sides was sure what the answer was going to be, a vote was taken. And that was when preparations were made for the humans to depart the Autobot's ship to their newly chosen homeworld.
Josh was in a good mood. Now that a planet had been chosen, the male felt it was a good opportunity as any for him to join his sister. Sideswipe knew a lot of what had occurred to Alexis in all the time she was away. His spark still compressed every time he thought of her being with another, choosing another. He just put that reaction down to his attraction for the female that hadn't concluded nicely and felt unresolved.
Sides had tried to talk to talk to Alexis and get her to respond. Finally, he had gotten a message from her.
I know you regret what you said, but that doesn't alter my decision. I'm sorry that I allowed things to evolve as they did between us. Know that I was genuinely attracted to you, and that I don't regret the time we spent together. Please stop contacting me. It's not like I meant anything to you, not really.
Be well, Alexis
From them on, since he was not allowed to visit the fighting barge, it was only through his brother and Josh that he got news of the female. He still tried to contact her. But he stopped altogether when news of her nuptials came to him. Sunstreaker had laughed about it, but there was something in his brother's optics that didn't feel right and that made what he felt from his brother through their link, what he had felt for some time, alight for a bold moment before dulling to a small, hardly perceptible twinge that disappeared completely.
He didn't hear from his brother for a while after that. Not until he returned to their ship, the Intrepid. Sideswipe didn't mean to inquire about the female so soon. Sideswipe meant to slip it in as if it hardly mattered. When his brother hit him, their bond opened and stretched, allowing Sideswipe a short glimmer of understanding that left him astounded, frazzled and filled with resentment.
"You said she wasn't for us," Sideswipe said firmly, digits lightly passing over the crack of a bruise under his left optic. The two could fight and get violent with one another, but they usually made sure not to leave physical reminders of their altercations. Both were far too aware of their good looks to allow anything to damage their well-maintained exteriors.
Sunny scowled and their link began to fade. His brother expertly reined in his emotions to hide the diminished state of their connection.
"Stop talking," Sunny responded bitterly through their bond. "And stop this insufferable jealousy. She is a human. Nothing that is worthy of such lingering thoughts. Really, brother. How weak you must be to still..."
"How weak I must be? You like her. You want her," Side's interrupted. "Why didn't I see it sooner?"
Sunstreaker flinched and then openly growled. "You've been too busy playing with your humans," his brother said out loud. "And don't think that I don't know how much more time you have spent with them since my... departure. A departure that is all your fault." He scowled and pushed his brother." It was your debt that caused all this." He frowned deeply and pushed at him again. "Now get out of my way. I am tired and sick of looking at you."
Sideswipe couldn't stop the thoughts that poured out of him that he never meant for his brother to pick up. But with the way that Sunny paused stiffly at the doors before continuing to his quarters, he knew that he had.
They had only been traveling for three days. They wouldn't arrive at Renth as soon as they would have if Sunny had allowed him to borrow his much faster shuttle, but they were making good enough progress.
Situated inside the small's shuttle's cockpit, he felt the doors slide open behind him. Josh settled below on the helm near an active console, careful not to linger near anything important.
"Something's happened," Josh spoke quietly, a strange lilt assaulting his usually steady vocals. His eyes were filled with liquid, heavy tears making a path down his skin. His voice was openly pained; his face white beneath his natural pallor. "Airaih... Airaih is dead," he whispered as if he couldn't believe what he was saying.
Sideswipe kept his optics on the expectant Josh. He had lived among death for too many mega-cycles, lost too many comrades. It wasn't that he had grown unfeeling toward such loss, just knew how to compartmentalize, how to detach. Josh, despite the losses his own species had witnessed, had not. He nearly smiled. Not out any form of happiness, but because his emotional wires had the tendency to crisscross, making him do things that could be perceived as callous and unthinkable, when really it was just because he didn't know how to respond or what he was supposed to feel.
"But when you last spoke to Alexis, he was better, he was recovering," Sideswipe finally found his words. For one rare instance, thinking before he spoke.
Josh blinked hard and then shook his head. He pushed his fingers roughly through his light brown hair. "Yes, but the poison," he halted momentarily, his voice strained and warbling. "The poison had a two-pronged attack method. A secondary delayed injection was released in their systems."
"Their? Is Alexis..." Sides asked, discomposure entering his mainframe that he managed to keep out of the tone of his voice.
Josh frowned, bunched up his legs toward his chest and leaned against them. "She's fine... at least physically. But she hasn't been seen since the memorial, and that was a week ago. It was Sharaih that I talked to, her niece... and..." He looked up at Sideswipe, wiping the wetness off his eyes before he scowled with self-reproach. "I should have known something was wrong when she only texted me. I should have seen that..."
Josh continued to speak, telling Sides personal things about his sister. It wasn't as if it was the first time, but this time, as Josh talked, his words so sad, his tone so soft, he felt a sense of intrusion. But that was ridiculous. Josh came to him.
When Josh stilled and became silent, the Autobot became lost in his thoughts. Now that Alexis had no attachment left on Renth, she would surely return to her brother and to the planet that had been picked for the humans, one that he would be sure to oversee as the humans adapted it to their needs with the help of the Autobots.
Alexis would get over whatever she felt for the Vildan. Alexis would move forward as everyone must. Since their separation, he had time to interact more among the humans and to identify their way of doing things. He had seen and watched the humans form relationships. Some successful, some not. But what he had learned, what he had seen, it would give him a better chance with her. His sentiment toward the female may have changed but it certainly hadn't diminished. And while he did not form connections outside his brother, maybe...
"Is there any way that we can get there sooner, Sideswipe?" Josh spoke up. "I need to be with Lex right now."
"I can shave off a day if I modify the engines, however, our return will take longer unless we..." His digits danced before him on the helm's apparatus as he imputed several adjustments with the calculations he had already made.
"Good, great." Josh grimaced, his fingers going to his temple and rubbing hard. "I am going to try to contact Lex again."
"Do you..." Sideswipe started, suddenly uneasy. "Do you think Alexis loved the Vildan?" That word was one he had examined and tried to understand. The concept of love was foreign to him, and not exactly used among Cybertronians. They had other words to indicate serious attachment. Labeling one as your mate was sufficient. Humans were so sentimental, so driven to tag and categorize every emotion and reaction.
"Yes, I believe she does," Josh let the Autobot know, his gaze sweeping over Sideswipe, his brow creasing as he stood to his feet and stretched his neck up. "Do you still..."
"I'll let you know as soon as I have made the necessary modifications on the engines. Go talk to your sister."
The male nodded his head firmly and left.
"Perhaps you were given clearance then. But we cannot allow it now. You request to land has been denied. Any attempt to breech our planet's security field will be met with firm force. I do not recommend it." With that the Security Office ended the vid-link.
That was their fifth time of contacting Renth's planetary security and the fifth time they were denied. Two days had been wasted waiting for replies and trying to get clearance, two days spent of hovering in orbit around the planet getting nowhere.
Alexis' new family had rescinded their clearance, even went as far to deny communications as well.
"There is another way we can land," Sideswipe let Josh know, a smile creasing his face. He never reacted well in the face of denial. Sides had lived too long without to deny himself what he wanted. An evolved egotism perhaps, but one he blithely tolerated. "Sunny knows of..."
A beeping commenced, letting him know a message was coming through from the planet.
"It's your sister," he informed Josh, ignoring the pleasurable echo of expectation that shifted under his chassis.
"Can you put it on here... I..."
Josh didn't have to ask him twice, his eagerness showing up in his expediency of the request.
The screen came on, no image seen. Sideswipe tried to get it working. But there was nothing to see because Alexis was only allowing voice.
"Josh, Josh are you there?" Alexis voice came through the dark screen.
Josh's shoulders flinched, his body leaning closer to the terminal.
"Yeah, Lex. I'm here."
"I just found out about what my brother-in-law did. I have discussed things with him. Your clearance to land has been approved. Please come."
When they landed on the Vildan homeworld, Josh went to see his sister on his own. A vehicle came to pick him up, leaving the Autobot alone on the ship. He monitored the surrounding area.
Josh was fuming by the time he returned later that evening. Sweating and looking uncomfortable from the heated climate of the planet, he sipped a canteen of water as he cooled off inside the shuttle.
"They won't let her leave." Josh sat down near a deactivated input module on the helm, leaning heavily on his arms as he tried to regulate his strained breathing. "They believe there is a chance that Alexis may be pregnant. She isn't. If she was pregnant, she would be several months along by now. But supposedly the process of impregnation takes longer with Vildans." The male's flesh turned red; his hands started to shake with anger. "They are also trying to get Alexis to choose another husband. They say it's her duty. Can you believe it? Her husband only passed a couple of weeks ago and they already expect her to remarry."
Josh took a deep breath and spoke more calmly, "Alexis looks terrible. Like she hasn't slept or eaten in weeks. I don't think she wants to remain here. Sharaih says she hasn't left Airaih's bedroom since it happened. What should I do, Sides?"
He didn't have to think about that one. Time apart from his own sibling was a sufferance both physically and mentally. But he and Sunstreaker were twins, closer than most, bound by their shared spark. And while he knew not many would understand such intimacy, he still understood the frustration.
"She's your sister," Sideswipe said firmly, not understanding why Josh put up with such interference. He wouldn't have. "She belongs with you now. I am sure that..."
"No, Sideswipe, I meant what do I do with her? We've already lost our parents, lost all the family we had. She was happy with Airaih. I know she was. She talked of building a life with him. When Airaih was recovering, she even spoke of the possibility of children, of wanting his child. She cared for him, loved him. Wanted a future with him. And now, all because of some rogue Decepticons' traps, he is dead, and she is... she is in pain!"
Josh looked up, the fire of anger spreading through the flush of his skin. "You Autobots are really good at picking up the pieces after Decepticons attack, why can't you be better at turning the Decepticons themselves into pieces!?" By then the human's voice was strained and uncommonly loud, a blame spouting in his words that directed outward. "How many worlds are they going to be able to devastate before they are stopped?!"
"I know how to stop them," Sideswipe spoke softly, carefully, analyzing the male. "At least the ones on this planet."
"What? How? Even the Vildans can't..."
Sideswipe frowned with intolerance. Surely, Josh knew by now that he was craftier than most. "Since we have been here, I have been scanning the planet. I know where the Decepticons are and exactly what would draw them out."
"And what would that be?" Frowning, the human gulped hard, his eyes firmly placed on the Autobot.
Sideswipe's mouth lifted up smugly. His finger tapped on his gleaming chassis. "Me."
"What happened to you, Josh?" Alexis asked of her brother. The female's voice was almost unfamiliar to him, tainted by tragedy.
Sideswipe was standing a distance off in front of the house, trying to appear as if his attention wasn't focused only on her. A pile of materials was neatly stacked against the wall, the house showing signs of calculated damage. The repairs from the Decepticon attack were far from through. The front of the dwelling's roof, which had obviously been ripped off, still littered the ground in thick jagged pieces.
It was dark outside except for some illumination on the ground that wound along the large garden. The one he believed was Sharaih continually shifted her gaze from the siblings and himself, her attention now more fixed on the Autobot.
Seeing Alexis after such a time and hearing her so close, it was riveting, far too pleasing, despite the circumstances. He never felt the need to move past her. Just stopped thinking about her, for the most part. With her absence, it wasn't that hard. And even as she was talked about by Josh and sometimes his brother, she became as if a story being written that he could read about or not, whatever he chose.
He should have felt out of sorts with Alexis, or a grudge from the rejection. He was entitled to that and more. But the rejection only stirred him further and enticed him more. A pressure gripped his spark as he watched the pair and listened to their conversation.
Going after the Decepticons that plagued the planet had been more fun than he had had in a while. And disabling and turning the Cons into the planet's obviously astounded security force was extremely satisfying. He never expected Josh to come along with him during that very busy week, or for the human to actually help, but Josh did. The human even managed to disable one of the Decepticons all on his own. Although the upgraded blaster the human had been issued, helped with that, as did the added aggression from what had happened to his sister.
Josh had been injured when one of the Cons tried to escape. He still had scratches on his face and light burns on his arms. Josh had hoped they would heal before seeing his sister again, but days had passed and the evidence of his involvement remained.
The young man never told his sister what he had been up to during the last week, but Sides was learning that Josh didn't tell his sister everything. The relationship the male had started with that woman another thing he had kept from Alexis.
"I'm fine, Lex. Just helped Sides with something," Josh replied, trying for evasiveness and failing utterly.
"They said an Autobot captured the last of the Decepticons. I am not so out of it that I don't know that they were talking about Sideswipe. Did you think I would be angry at you? I'm not. If you got hurt though, I would have..." her voice wavered and shut off.
Alexis stood up from the bench she had been sitting on and motioned to her Vildan companion. She was handed a satchel. Alexis then leaned over and carefully picked up a small plant that she had brought with her.
"I'm going with you, Josh." Alexis reached out and grabbed his shoulder, then his hand. "I need to be with you. I've missed you a lot. And now the thought of separating from you... I won't allow it. You're all I got left."
"I'm going too," Sharaih spoke up for the first time, gaining the attention of all there.
Sideswipe still hadn't gotten a clear look at the female. The fabric that covered her face didn't help.
"I have an obligation to continue to look after your well-being." Sharaih said to Alexis, her tone resolute. "And as it was a request by Airaih, I cannot, I will not give up this responsibility."
Josh looked to his sister for confirmation. She shook her head.
The shuttle only had one recharge compartment. On the trip there, Josh had stayed and slept in the storage hold. But now, with two females on board, Sideswipe relinquished the small quarters to Alexis and her companion.
Repairing the engines ended up being an easy enough task since the Vildans had given him the necessary components in reward for capturing the Decepticons. He found himself bored when that task was complete. He had hoped he would be seeing Alexis. But he hadn't. And now the belief that he would be able to talk to her was starting to seem a lost cause. She hadn't left the quarters provided for her. The only interaction he had was with Josh and the female Vildan when she asked for necessary food and supplies.
He took to reading the latest Autobot reports, to updating some components in his servo and repairing a sensory module that had been damaged during the altercation with the rogue Decepticons on Renth.
Finding he didn't have all the tools needed to finish the repair, he got up and headed toward the storage hold. He certainly didn't expect to see a figure sitting on the rim of the only viewport on the shuttle, or for it to be Alexis, but it was.
She had her hand pressed against the screen, her head resting against it. Her body was shifting minutely, and it wasn't until he scanned her closer that Sideswipe realized she was crying.
His frame stiffened. His circuits burned. He wanted to go to her and make her stop. Wanted to press his digit against the softness that was her back and make her forget about the misery that Vildan had caused her.
Reversing his course, he left Alexis alone.
