Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie M. No harm intended in any way. I am just lucky to dabble with them.

WARNING: This story contains drama, blush-worthy cursing, and lots of mature situations.

Chapter Title: Ghosts of Broken Hearts

Chapter Song: "Come Back Down" by Lifehouse

Bella's POV:

"Want anything?" Edward asked. He and I were at the gas station we usually stopped at whenever we drove home to Forks. Alice and Jasper had driven up last night so they could have an extra night with Emmett and Rose since they'd flown in yesterday afternoon. I wasn't in any mood to think of Emmett right now so I focused on Edward's question instead.

I wasn't ready to actually speak to him, though, so I only shook my head "no". Honestly, I wasn't ready for any of this stuff but that seemed to always be how things went. At least I had some control over whether or not I spoke.

"If you change your mind, let me know," he said as he got out of the Suburban.

I waited until his door had been closed a few seconds before turning in my seat to watch him walk into the store. I couldn't trust him and I couldn't tell if he was genuinely excited about the babies or pretending out of obligation. I only knew he'd asked a shite-load of questions when we'd been in Dr. Bennett's office early this morning. I wanted to believe in him; I wanted to think of things the way he seemed to, that it was just one lie. But that lie … It was the lie. He'd promised he loved me and would always be around but that wasn't a promise he could really keep when he'd made it—and he'd known that! He'd known something was really wrong with him. I understood mistakes. Hell, I was queen of mistakes. But none of mine had ever purposefully put anyone's life in danger. None of mine had been outright lies. And if he didn't see a problem with lying about a life or death matter, what would keep him from lying about everything else?

On top of trying to figure out what to believe from him, Edward was acting like this was all so perfect, such a generous twist of fate. He gave no thought at all to what broken families did to kids. For that matter, he didn't seem to realize at all that there was a shite-ton of hurt and confusion between us. He acted like just because he said he was being honest now that it erased everything else. He saw us as one big happy family when we were nothing close to that. As excited as I'd been spending this past weekend with him, I'd also been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something else to happen to push us apart. And here it was—he was so blinded by his optimism and had no idea just how un-fine things were.

That optimism of his had led him to ask Dr. Bennett a slew of questions. I'd managed to stop trying to figure out what to believe to focus enough to know I was almost thirteen weeks pregnant; I'd be exactly thirteen on this Sunday. There were vitamins to take and foods to eat or avoid. There was even a long list of doctor appointments already scheduled for me since I was so high risk. On the plus side, all three fetuses were healthy and seemed to be developing normally. My blood pressure was fine and my glucose was fine; physically, I was really damn fine.

Emotionally … Hurting, miserable, alone … and suddenly responsible for three lives. My life was spiraling out of control and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was right or wrong or up or down. And I wanted so badly to run to Esme and tell her everything going on but I couldn't. Not tonight. Tonight was her night.

I let out a sigh as I straightened up in my seat. I'd known for a long time now that life wasn't fair but this was ridiculous. What about college? What would I do for work? I'd resigned from the coffeehouse this morning, hating that I wasn't able to give Mr. Morris more notice. I'd warned him on Tuesday that I might have to quit but I hadn't expected it to happen so fast. If Dr. Bennett hadn't been so insistent about staying off my feet as much as I could, I would have given him the time. Of course, being Mr. Morris, he had told me not to worry and that he would figure it out. He'd also told me to visit as often as I could and to stay in touch.

And what about Edward? What about his own career? He had to be itching to get out of here and start his life. I didn't want to be the thing holding him back—I didn't want for me or these babies to turn into his biggest regret. Even more than that, I didn't want to setup house with him just to have him leave after the babies were born.

No, it was best to just look at this practically with the best interest of these babies in mind. The only way to make sure they had a life free of the kinds of mistakes that had filled mine was to give them a home with two loving parents capable of providing for them in all the right ways. And that meant I couldn't get attached to them or let myself fall under the delusion that I could keep them. And Edward wasn't any more equipped to be a single parent than I was so he wasn't going to be able to keep them either, no matter how optimistic he might be. I would love them in the best way I could—by getting them here safely and then finding them the best home possible.

But for the rest of this day, I was going to make myself focus only on Carlisle and Esme. They had done so much for me, always managing to be around when I needed them most. This was their night and I was going to focus only on them.

I jumped at the sound of Edward's door opening and watched him set a grocery bag on his seat. He gave me a smile before closing his door again and walking off to put gas in the vehicle. I couldn't help the sudden curiosity that gripped me and I leaned across the console to peek into his bag. There were two bottles of water … a Nestle crunch bar which was my usual snack … and a bag of crunchy Cheetos—he never could resist getting them. He never had lacked in the ability to take care of physical needs. It was the emotional ones that seemed to boggle his mind and fall short of his grasp.

Looking at the bottles of water made me realize I was thirsty so I took one out of the bag and opened it up. I was busy sipping at it when Edward climbed back into the vehicle.

"There's a crunch bar in there for you too," he said as he set the bag on the floorboard near my feet.

"Thanks. Not hungry."

"Well it's yours if you want it later."

I kept looking at the bottle cap I was rubbing against my knee and for a moment I wished with everything in me that it was one of those lamps where genies came out. The crazy part was that I wouldn't wish for something practical like winning the lottery to afford these babies. My wish would be to know if I could trust Edward. The sad part, the one that made me want to cry, was that if it was just me I would take the plunge. I would risk him lying to me all over again just to have him back for a little while because I was that in love with him. Hell, I had been on my way to doing that already this past weekend. But now … Now I was pregnant and now I had to make the best choice and that wasn't necessarily the one I wanted. I had to protect these babies, from me and from him.

While we waited for our turn to pull onto the highway, a yellow Bug passed us by and I immediately thought of Alice. She had wanted me to ride up with her to give us time to talk since I'd been a complete bore during our shopping trip on Wednesday afternoon. I think she'd only accepted my silence during our dress hunt because she'd been so sure she'd have me cornered in her car for the drive to Forks. But since I had the doctor's appointment and wasn't ready to tell her about it, I was stuck riding with Edward instead. And also there was his whole thing about wanting to be at every appointment. I'd tried to tell him a few times he wasn't obligated to me or these babies but he wasn't listening. Stupid honorable to a fault side of him. And the part that sucks the most is that as soon as he feels he's done his duty, he'll go off to start his life and his career, leaving us all behind.

Not long after we'd gotten back on the road, my eyes started to get heavy and hard to keep open. I'd been sleeping on my own since Monday night, trying to get a handle on the insane twist my life had taken, but there was more tossing and turning going on than sleeping. I kept having this really odd dream about weird sounds and smells, but the worst part was that I kept feeling like I'd had it before at some point. It always started off with warm rays of sunshine glinting off of something silver colored, making me to lift a hand to shield my eyes. Then there would be the sound of a small bell tinkling close enough to hear but not to see the source. It was followed by a laugh that was both high-pitched and small—a laugh that reminded me of Aaron for some crazy reason. The next sensation was of something soft touching my cheek, followed by a smell like no other filling my nose. It made my heart race and filled me with both an overwhelming happiness and a longing so deep I wanted to cry. I always woke up at that point, feeling disoriented and lonely. I had no idea what the hell the dream was supposed to be about or why I kept having it; I only knew I could never get back to sleep after having that stupid dream. As much as I didn't want to have that dream again, I was badly in need of sleep. I would just have to hope my overactive mind would be nice to my tired body and let me drift off dreamlessly.

I ended up sleeping through most of the rest of the ride, waking up just outside of Forks. I wasn't sure if I'd been too tired to dream or if it had been the proximity of Edward that had me relaxing enough to really rest. It was scary and beyond confusing that no matter how messed up things were with us my body would relax and feel comforted when he was near. No matter what the reason was, I was really glad for my nap. I felt a lot better physically and I knew I'd need the energy with the night ahead of me … Alice in party-mode, the actual party itself, being around Emmett, and keeping a smile on my face all through the party. It was going to be one long ass night.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," Edward said when I finished yawning and stretching. "We're almost to Forks. Alice sent a text earlier informing me that you will be disappearing with her the moment we get to the house."

I didn't respond; it wasn't like her declaration was a shock or anything.

"Am I going to be allowed near you at the party tonight?" he asked, sounding both petulant and hurt at the same time.

"If you want to, I guess you can. But there's honestly no obligation for you to be anywhere near me."

"It's doesn't have anything do with obligation, Bella. It's because I love you. And before this weekend is over, I'll figure out how to prove that to you."

I had a few replies for him but since none of them were helpful and all were laced with anger, I chose to keep my mouth shut and it smartly listened. The last thing either of us needed was for my mouth to take off and say things that left Edward no choice but to hate me for being a bitch. I shook my head at my own self, wondering how I could be so hurt by him and yet still want to protect him. There were some definite screws loose in my head and I wondered if I would ever figure out how to fix them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Bella!" Esme greeted, wrapping me up in a fierce hug. "I have missed you so much."

I smiled against her shoulder, hugging her back just as tight. "We saw each other a week ago."

"Hush and be happy you were missed."

"I am, Esme. I always am with you."

She pulled back and took my face into her hands, studying me closely. "Are you okay? You sound upset?"

I forced my fake smile to widen. "I'm good. Just excited for the party tonight. Twenty-five years with Carlisle is a lot to celebrate."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm just not fully awake yet. I slept on the ride up."

"I bet you're hungry as well. Go into the kitchen and fix yourself some lunch. I made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy for lunch per Emmett's request and there's plenty left."

"Oh man, that sounds good," I practically moaned.

Esme chuckled and kissed my cheek soundly before letting go of my face. "Go and eat. I'll let Edward know where you've disappeared to."

I smiled and headed off into the kitchen without argument, my stomach rolling and groaning in anticipation of Esme's cooking. I found the meatloaf in the oven and the potatoes and gravy on the stove and fixed myself a massive plate of food.

I'd just sat down at the table with my food and drink when Edward walked in with Jasper. I wasn't paying much attention to them until I heard Emmett's name mentioned.

"He must be sick to have left all of this," Edward said, busy making a plate of his own.

Jasper snorted and shook his head. "Ed, man, that's the second tray of meatloaf that you're taking from. Emmett spent almost more time talking about how much he missed your mom's cooking than he did eating it and he still packed away almost a whole tray by himself."

"The man has a bottomless pit instead of a stomach."

"That's Em for ya," Jasper replied, sounding much closer. I looked up and was met with his smiling face as he sat down next to me. "Hey, Darlin'. Got enough to eat there?"

"Shut it," I said with a real smile.

Jasper leaned back in his chair and mimicked zipping his lips closed, which made me laugh. "There we go, Bells. Now I've gotten you to smile and laugh. You'll need that later for when Ali gets a hold of you. She's been running through a long list of ideas on what to do with your hair to make it look perfect with that dress you girls picked out for you."

"Oh joy," I said sarcastically.

"Don't worry. Rosalie's planning to run interference for you by pretending she can't do a thing with her hair."

"Really? Normally Rose loves to sit back and make fun while I get tortured."

"Well I had a chat with my cousin and convinced her it would be in everyone's best interest if she helped me occupy and somewhat calm my wild woman."

"Oh come on, Jasper, you can do better," Esme said, appearing suddenly and taking the seat on the other side of me. "Let's be honest and call my daughter exactly what she is … A party monster."

I had to slap both hands over my mouth to keep the food inside of it while I shook with suppressed laughter and fought back tears. I always loved it when Esme reminded us that behind that awesome motherly exterior of hers was just a normal woman with a great sense of humor.

"Edward, bring Bella some napkins, please, son," she instructed as she smiled and rubbed my back to calm me.

I was pretty close to being calm when Edward sat down across from me and set a bunch of napkins onto the table. "Have her drink some water slowly or she'll get hiccups," he said, giving me a smile before digging into his food.

Once I'd made sure no food had escaped my lips and I'd drunk some water, I looked up at Esme. "I love it when you're the one to out your kids for their behavior."

"Yes, well, I think we could all benefit from my three lovely offspring behaving much more like mature adults than silly children," she replied.

"I agree with that all the way," Jasper stated with a big grin. "Alice flitting around here like the world's going to end if any little decoration isn't just perfect. Makes my head spin whenever I think about our wedding."

Esme's smile widened. "I'd suggest hiring a wedding planner but every one of us at this table knows Alice would drive the poor dear to quitting with her micro-management style."

I snorted a couple times and then just let go and laughed out loud. The words "micro-management style" just didn't even begin to encompass the feisty, furious, freakish cyclone of terror that Alice became when she had a project in front of her. It wasn't like she meant to be a holy terror when she planned something, it was just that she couldn't stand the idea of disappointing her intended victim … er, recipient. She just wanted the person of honor to really feel honored and to be a hundred percent happy with the festivities. It might have seemed crazy and odd to anyone outside of this family but we all knew it was Alice's ultimate sign of love and commitment to us.

"Sweetheart, you have to let the rest of us in on the joke," Esme ordered as she patted my hand softly.

"It's not a joke really," I said as I looked between her and Jasper. "I was just thinking how parties are Alice's big sign of love. She doesn't become the party monster just to be in control of the details. She does it to make it an amazing time for those she loves."

"That's absolutely correct," Esme agreed. "Each of you has your own unique way of showing love. Our dear Bella here teases and gets us all laughing. Alice plans parties. Jasper cooks comfort foods. Rosalie gives hugs. Emmett attempts to be sweet. Carlisle says the words while hugging …" She paused and her eyes looked dreamy as she thought of her husband. She suddenly shook herself and giggled softly. "Where was I? Oh, yes! Edward." She turned her head and the two of them locked eyes with each other. "You, my boy, are the worst."

"What?" he cried, his eyes wide with shock. "I always tell you I love you."

"Oh, yes, you tell me now. Before, you would check to make sure no one was in earshot and whisper it into my ear, afraid Emmett would catch you and call you a momma's boy. And so what if you were? He is too. He just shows it differently, giving me a soft hug rather than a bear hug."

Edward sat up straighter in his chair, puffing out his chest and smirking at his mother. He pulled in a breath and then in the loudest voice I'd ever heard him use, he proudly said, "I love you, Mom."

Esme and Jasper both laughed openly while I grinned into my plate, spearing another mouthful of meatloaf with my fork and happily sliding it between my lips. It wasn't hard to have a good appetite when I had Esme's cooking in front of me and the amazing woman herself beside me. And also, it was nice to see her giving Edward crap.

"Yes, that's now. And lovely to see," Esme stated, reaching over and ruffling Edward's short hair. "Hopefully you will hold onto the confidence you've found within yourself."

"I will," he replied. "I've got a really good reason to," he added. I knew he was looking at me as he said those words because I could feel his eyes on me. It was a familiar sensation that made me warm and cold in equal measure—warm because no one else had ever looked at me the way he did and cold because it didn't mean anything anymore. He could look at me all he wanted but what good did it do either of us? I had no idea what was the truth or a lie with him, and no idea if it was from having been hurt so bad or being so afraid to make the wrong choice.

And yet, as scared as I was, there was something about hearing him speak that way that made a "what if" sneak in and spark in my heart—What if he meant it? What if for once in my life, something could go right and I could have my very own happily ever after like Esme talked about every so often? What if he wasn't doing things out of obligation? What if we could figure out the truth from the lies and be parents together?

No. It was better to be realistic. Better not to get attached. Better not to hope. In the end, it was better to minimize the pain as much as possible.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The women of the family were gathered in Esme's bedroom, working to put the final touches on our outfits before we descended the stairs and joined the party that was just getting started downstairs.

Alice had already helped me out and declared me beautiful so I was sitting in Esme's reading chair with my feet propped up on the matching ottoman, watching Rosalie and Alice fuss over Esme. The girls had listened to every one of her wishes so far, starting with her makeup being light and understated. The only area they had given emphasis were her eyes, using false lashes to give them pop and make the green stand out more than usual. They had curled Esme's long hair into big loose curls and it had brought out the deep natural reds hiding in her chestnut hair. They were working to pin back just a bit of the hair in front to keep it away from her face and draping over her shoulders. I had only caught a brief glance at her dress on the hanger so I was excited to see her stand up and get the full effect.

Of course, being excited and nervous in equal measure meant I had been visiting the bathroom a lot today and now it was time for another trip. I headed into Esme's adjoining bathroom to take care of business, trying not to let my mind think of the real reason I was peeing and puking and eating so much lately. This was Esme and Carlisle's night—if I kept telling myself that, then I would make it through this night and my mind could ask all the questions it wanted tomorrow.

After taking care of my needs, I stood in front of the large framed mirror over the double vanity to make sure my dress was sitting right on me. I really liked my outfit tonight and felt it was perfect for this really special occasion. Being here tonight, being a part of celebrating Esme and Carlisle's history together—that meant the world to me.

I smoothed the beautiful red dress over my left hip and then adjusted the loose pleating hanging down in front. The red was a true red, a color I rarely ever wore because I normally hated how it looked with my pale skin. But this dress was different and just felt right on me. The top was bunched over my breasts with a small silver broach sitting right between. There was a thin strap that started at the broach and then went up and separated to wrap around my neck but didn't really support anything. And those loose pleats I was adjusting started at the base of the broach and went down to where the dress split and flared just above my knees. Alice had covered the tip of my heart tattoo in makeup so it wasn't visible and then she'd found a beautiful shawl to cover up the tattoo on my back shoulder. I didn't have to worry about my neck tattoo at all since my hair was now long enough to cover it up.

All of my turning to check myself out made the lights glint off my necklace and I looked down at it as I cupped it in my palm. My boxing gloves. I'd never taken them off but I'd been wearing them under my shirts instead of out in the open. I kept waiting to feel like the bad ass I had been when Edward had given this to me, but the more I looked for that woman inside of me, the less I found of her. It made me angry—angry with Edward and myself that I should lose that ability to be tough and to take the world's shit with barely a batted eyelash.

"Stop it. There is plenty of time for that shit tomorrow," I warned my reflection. "This night belongs to Esme and Carlisle and you will smile and you will be polite and you will have fun whether you like it or not."

Feeling sufficiently scolded and pep-talked, I slipped my shawl back around my shoulders and opened the bathroom door. Just as I stepped into the bedroom, Esme stood up at the vanity and turned around, giving me my first real look at her tonight.

Esme was … Esme was stunning, breathtaking, glamorous, mesmerizing … There just weren't enough adjectives to use for her. Looking at her had me thinking of old Hollywood when the women were true classy ladies and less was so much more. Her dress was a deep emerald green that matched her eyes and made them sparkle. The bodice was a sweetheart wrap style and there was an olive layer of fabric that seemed bent back, as if the inside of the dress was being revealed without actually showing anything. The piece ended at the empire waist and met up with the diamond shaped broach that adorned the waist area. From there, the dress flowed softly toward the floor with two more of those olive colored fabric reveals on her left side. If Carlisle didn't forget the room around him upon seeing her, then he was a damn fool.

"What do you think, Bella?" she asked with a huge smile on her face.

"I think Carlisle won't be aware there's a party going on in his house. His eyes and his mind are only going to be for you," I said, meaning every word.

"Just like his heart, Mom," Alice added with a big grin.

My best friend was dressed in a strapless black mini with a simple silver and crystal broach at the empire waist and gathers down to the wide hem before the fabric flared out just a little. The only jewelry she wore tonight was her engagement ring, and her shoes were a pair of silver sandals. The simplicity of her outfit was what made it look so perfect on her. The fact that she had chosen such a low-key outfit spoke volumes about the kind of woman she was—she wanted all of the attention to be on her mom and dad tonight. Just when I thought I understood how much I loved my best friend, she showed me another reason to have such huge love for a small woman.

"Twenty-five years," Rosalie stated, finishing up with a low whistle. "Esme, please tell me you've lasted this long because they act more like men and less like boys as they age."

Rose was dressed really similar to Alice tonight, going with a simple black dress that hugged her body and accentuated her many curves. There was a large, square, silver and crystal broach at the empire waist and that silver was mimicked on the heels of her black pumps.

Esme laughed loudly and my eyes immediately moved from Rose to her. "Only in some instances does that hold true, my dear. And since you are the young woman my Emmett was lucky enough to fall for, I'm afraid you'll have a longer wait than most."

Rosalie smiled wide and wrapped her arms tight around Esme. "You always make me feel like you want my happiness whether it comes from Em or not. That's such an odd and amazing quality in a mom and I love that so much about you."

Esme smiled as she let go of Rosalie and looked around the room at the three of us. "You all know that I love my husband and my family with all of my heart. As unconditional as that love is, I am not blind to their antics and flaws." She paused and put her arm around Alice, drawing her closer. "I want happiness for you and your brothers with everything in me, Alice. But I also want that for the people you love and bring into this home. If I see my child making his or her partner sad, I will speak up for that partner because that is exactly what I would want someone to do for me."

"Beauty, brains, and a no-nonsense view of parenting. Esme, I so wanna be you when I grow up," Rosalie said.

"Me too," I blurted out.

"Me three," Alice added with a giggle.

Esme waved her hands at us and once we were all locked in a group hug, she said, "Well if all three of my girls want to be mothers, then I am sure to be one very happy grandmother." With everyone laughing, I hoped she missed the nervous tinge to my own laughter.

"Alright, Mom. I think we've kept the men waiting long enough," Alice declared.

Esme and Rose agreed with her so after one last glance in the vanity mirror for each of us, we opened the door to head down and join the party. I'd hoped the men would be busy chatting with guests, but the four of them were standing around near the bottom of the stairs.

Alice practically flitted down the last few steps to get to Jasper, letting out a lilting laugh as she tossed herself into his arms. I heard his much deeper laugh as he spun her around once and then gently set her on her feet. Now that he didn't have Ali wrapped around him, I could see he was wearing a gray suit that made him look taller than ever. The shirt and tie beneath were white and there were tiny sliver flecks in the tie that matched Alice's broach and shoes. He had never looked more like the southern gentleman I knew him to be, just like I knew his outfit was all Alice. She had a knack for bringing out the inner beauty of a person through clothing.

Rosalie was smirking and rolling her eyes at her cousin and friend as she made her way down the stairs and went over to stand in Emmett's wide arms. He gave her such a sweet and adoring look that I had a hard time not pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming it up.

After hugging her close for a minute, Rose moved to the side so he would be able to see his mom after I got out of the way. The big man was dressed in a charcoal gray suit with an off-white shirt that held light gray stripes. His tie held diagonal stripes of varying shades of gray with a splash of light purple for color. He looked amazing and more grown-up than I'd ever seen him. I was so shocked at seeing him this way that I managed to return his smile and nod.

Knowing everyone was watching me, I wanted to go ahead and stand beside Edward to avoid questions, but he was standing next to Emmett and I just couldn't make my feet move in that direction. So I went over to Alice and Jasper and hoped it seemed I was so excited to comment on his suit that I just hadn't noticed Edward.

Of course, there was no way in hell I hadn't noticed Edward. He was dressed in the same color suit as Emmett but with a white shirt and deep blue tie. He looked amazing standing there next to his brother, the two of them actually looking a little like twins for a change. But then again, I tended to think Edward looked great no matter what he was wearing. It wasn't the clothes that made him sexy to me—it was those expressive green eyes of his and the sweetness in his heart. I wanted to believe so much that the charm and the romance and the overall rightness of him had never been an act, had never been a way to hide his heart condition. But it was impossible not to question it, not when so many other large and small things had ended up being ways to hide his condition. The sad part was that he mistakenly thought I was holding his past lies against him—he didn't understand at all that it was the future lies that terrified me.

But I didn't want to think about those things right now so I moved my eyes away from him to get a look at Carlisle. The man of honor tonight was dressed in a proper black tux with a matching black bowtie over a white dress shirt with large black buttons. He looked regal and debonair, another perfect throwback to a time when life seemed simpler even if it wasn't.

Watching the absolute awe in Carlisle's expression as Esme took her place at his side was nothing short of inspiring. There was real, deep love in this world and it was right here in front of me, bundled up in these two amazing people. In that moment, my smile was as real as the happy tears sliding from my eyes. I loved them both so damn much and seeing them so happy and in love made the world right for just a little bit. I wiped up my eyes and laughed under my breath at my own self; with my hormones already kicking my ass so early on, I would be a complete disaster by the time I got to the end of this pregnancy.

"Ladies, you all look so amazing tonight," Carlisle said as he looked over each of us. "I am so lucky to have such a beautiful family."

"You guys are looking pretty damn sleek yourselves," Rose announced.

"Me!" Alice cried happily. "All me."

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious," Emmett said with a deep chuckle.

"Don't give her a hard time," I said as I slung my arm around her shoulders. "She's worked really hard to make this party amazing and this is how she shows her nervousness."

"Alice, sweetheart, there really is no need to be nervous. This party could be an absolute disaster, but as long as your mother and I have our family with us, there's no way we could be happier," Carlisle promised her.

A round of "aw" went around with some laughter and then Esme declared it time to mingle with the guests. With a big smile on her face, Alice grabbed a hold of Jasper's hand and darted off into the thick of the crowd. Esme and Carlisle walked away arm-in-arm and laughing over their daughter's exuberance with Emmett and Rosalie tagging along behind them.

And that left Edward and me.

He walked right up to me and took my hand, his green eyes silently asking me to turn for him. I went along with it, reasoning there was no point in refusing and it would look suspicious if I did.

Once I was facing him again, he gave me that huge blinding smile that I'd only ever seen him give to me. "You look so amazing, Angel."

"Um … thanks," I replied, hating that my face was turning red enough to match my dress. He hadn't taken his eyes off of me yet and the awe in his green eyes was a bit much to stand still under, especially when I didn't know if it was real.

He leaned in and for a second I was both worried and elated that he was going to kiss me. But he only put his lips at my ear and whispered into it. "You're showing just a little but I think it's only because I know what I'm looking at. The fabric draping down hides it well from everyone else. But I honestly can't wait until you're not hiding it."

Before I could say anything, my name was being called and I was being turned around to face my dad and getting squished in a hug. I laughed as I hugged him back. "Dad, what are you doing being all touchy feely?"

He pulled his head back to look at me but didn't relax his arms at all. "I haven't seen you in months and I missed my little girl."

"He's telling the absolute truth," Sue said from beside me.

I laughed a little as I pulled away from my dad to give her a hug. "Hi, Sue. It's great to see you."

"And you. I have to admit, though. I'm a little overwhelmed by this party. I feel underdressed."

"Oh please don't feel that way," I told her. "This is just Alice's idea of elegance, but I promise you that Esme and Carlisle are more interested in the company than the clothing."

"Spoken just like Esme herself," my dad said with a little laugh. He seemed to finally notice Edward was standing there because he reached out and clapped a hand onto his shoulder. "Hey, Edward. How are you, son?"

"Doing well, Sir," Edward replied with a smile.

"How's the weightlifting going?"

"Benching eighty with ease. Though Emmett says that's a pansy number and not to talk to him until I can do one-sixty."

My dad laughed and clapped Edward on the shoulder again. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought I was looking at two buddies instead of my dad and my … my whatever the hell Edward was to me at the moment.

"You know, I tried that Deadliest Warrior show you told me about and it wasn't half bad," my dad said.

"Which episode did you see?" Edward asked.

Sue put her hand on my arm and gave it a little squeeze. "Come on, Bella. Keep me from feeling like a stranger while these two talk television."

I let her lead me away before pouncing on her. "What was that? Since when does Dad like Edward? Why are they acting like they talk to each other? What the hell is going on?"

Sue chuckled and gave me a one-armed hug. "They've been talking on the phone since Edward got out of the hospital. They found some things in common and your dad seems to really like him."

"Great," I said with a fake smile and fake enthusiasm.

"Bella, get yourself over here," Rose called, waving me over. "Don't hog Sue all to yourself."

I smiled for real as we crossed the room and came to stand with Rose, her mom, and a few other women. Rose took over at that point, introducing all of us and letting us know what we had in common with each other. I wondered if this was a glimpse of what she did back in Boston with her clients and decided she was damn good at it. The woman could charm a room full of the grumpiest bastards in under five minutes with her silver tongue.

For the next hour, I hung out with Rose and mingled with the guests. I'd been worried at first that we would end up heading toward Emmett and Edward, but we always seemed to turn and head in a new direction when we got near them. I didn't know if it was on purpose or not—I just knew I really appreciated it.

All of a sudden, Alice started tapping the end of a fork against her raised glass, getting the room to quiet down and of course getting all eyes on her little figure. She was flanked on the left by Emmett with Edward standing at her right. The guys held silver boxes wrapped with sparkly silver bows.

"What are they doing?" I whispered to Rose.

"A toast for their parents. Alice has been practicing on me through Skype for most of the week."

"Why didn't she practice with me?" I asked, trying hard to hide the hurt I felt.

Rose snorted and hugged me against her side, not fooled for a second. "Don't pout, Bells. I was merely the stand-in for you since you were working all week. Had you been around, you would have heard it. And heard it. And heard it again."

Before I could respond, Alice's voice carried out across the room. "Thank you all for coming here tonight to celebrate our parents' twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with them. It should be no surprise that my brothers decided I should be the spokesperson for the three of us. I am the most vocal, after all."

She paused and did a little dip, looking as regal as any princess ever had and getting a laugh from the crowd. She smiled wide and then continued on with her toast. "My brothers and I spent some time together just marveling at what an amazing accomplishment twenty-five years of marriage is today. While we each love our significant other deeply, our young age limits our imagination, makes it hard to picture ourselves twenty-five years down the road. But we each want that. We look at our parents and we know we are seeing the real deal. We are seeing a love that can stand the test of time and patience and boneheaded decisions by their children."

Though she didn't call him out by name, those of us who knew about Edward's heart looked at him. For his part, he stood stoically beside his sister, looking only at his parents.

"Our parents made it through my father's medical school studies and intern rotations," Alice continued. "So many long nights and going days at a time without seeing each other. They made it through a first apartment that was literally one room and a year of surviving on sandwiches and soup. They made it through my mother losing her first design commission and then gaining two right behind it that were bigger than the first. They made it through an unexpected pregnancy and the birth of twin boys, along with the trials that come with being new parents. And by the time they added me to the family, they were well on their way to becoming the best parents in the world, though I may be slightly biased in that opinion.

"If we've needed a hug to comfort, a shoulder to cry on, or a stern voice to set us straight, our parents have been there. They give us their love, their support, and their advice on a near daily basis. They even find the time and love to be there for those we bring into our lives. We are a family in the deepest, most truest sense of the word and while I may not know what kind of person I'll be in twenty-five years, I know I'll be part of a remarkable family. Mom and Dad, we know we can never truly repay you for giving us such wonderful blessings, but we hope we can give you an idea of how much we appreciate you."

Edward and Emmett stepped forward with their boxes and handed them over to Esme and Carlisle while Alice narrated. "When my father proposed to my mother, he knew he couldn't give her the fancy wedding she deserved. Our mom promised him she only cared about sharing a life with him, but our dad loves to spoil his wife and knowing he would one day be able to do just that, he convinced her to write down a list of everything she would want at her wedding. That list has sat in an album next to their wedding picture on the courthouse steps for the past twenty-five years, put aside to put family first.

"Now, we want to put you two first. We know that quite a few things on your list were outlandish items meant to make each other laugh. But we also know some were real wants so Edward, Emmett, and I thought we would get you a couple of them. You won't find any doves in those boxes. Or a diamond tiara or a king's crown. But, Mom, you will find a pair of crystal flutes engraved with your wedding date in your box. And, Dad, your box has the nineteen-eighty-five bottle of Dom Perignon you wanted to toast your bride with twenty-five years ago."

After a lot of hugs were given from Esme and Carlisle to Alice, Emmett, and Edward, Carlisle happily popped the cork on the bottle of champagne and poured the drink into his bride's new flute. Esme's smile was so wide and her eyes so full of love as she watched him fill those flutes. As cheesy as it sounded in my head, they really were beautiful to behold.

Carlisle took his glass from Esme, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then took her free hand into his. Looking only at her, he began to speak. "This is a quote by an author unknown … Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Esme, you have left me breathless so many times in our twenty-five years of marriage and in the twenty-eight total of knowing and loving each other. Just tonight, watching you come down those stairs … Each time I feel that ache in my chest calling for a new breath, I thank my lucky stars that we met in that library so long ago. Had I not taken a wrong turn and ended up in the decorating section, I would have missed out on a lifetime of romance and wonder with you.

"This night and this anniversary mean so much to me, my lovely wife. And I have a few things I want to thank you for. First, I thank you for putting up with me and the many late nights that come with being a doctor. I thank you for our home and the happiness that has always filled it. I thank you for our three beautiful children. Most of all, I thank you for choosing to love me when I know a woman as amazing and soulful as you are could have done so much better than me."

After wiping away a few tears, sharing a few quiet laughs, and one really sweet looking kiss, Esme had a few words of her own to say. "Carlisle, sweetheart, I could have chosen someone else. I could have married a man who was home every night by six and never left a weekend outing early because he was on-call. I could have had a man who saw our children take their first steps and heard their first words in person and not on video. I could very well have chosen someone else, but I never could have chosen a man better than you. It's your heart, your need to help others that drew me to you in the first place. It's your heart that sends you racing out of here at all hours to heal a wound and help a family. And it's your heart that has never left me or our children feeling anything less than unconditionally loved for even a second.

"I thank you for putting up with me and the many paint and fabric swatches that I've forced you to view over the years. I thank you for our home and the happiness that has always filled it. I thank you for our three beautiful children. Most of all, I thank you for choosing to love me all those years ago when you hardly had time to eat or sleep. A man as driven as you are could have just turned around and went down the correct aisle that day."

"I never could have walked away from you," he promised before kissing her soundly on the lips. It was so beautiful and intimate that I found myself turning away to give them some privacy.

Rose chuckled under her breath and tugged me out of the room and into the kitchen. "I've never seen you acting so damn sentimental before, Bells. What's up with that?"

"I don't know," I said, making myself return her smile. "All this craziness with Edward probably."

Rose gave me a look I didn't recognize and then grabbed my arm again. "Let's take a walk."

We ended up heading into the backyard and walking all the way out to the edge of the trees. It was a clear night and we could see the stars and the half moon in the sky perfectly.

"Bella, I know."

I wanted to play dumb and pretend I had no clue what Rose was talking about, but I was too tired to pretend anymore. "So much for Edward keeping his mouth shut."

"It's not like that, Bella. He suspected enough to tell Emmett and get him to go home to talk to you."

My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened at her confession. "So all that apology stuff was just because I'm knocked up?"

"No," Rose stated, speaking just as firm as the grip she had on my shoulders. "I know what Emmett said to you and how much it must have hurt you. And I know that in his heart, Emmett truly loves you. He would do anything for you and die before hurting you. He had every intention of apologizing to you but Edward didn't want to wait until tonight so he told Emmett in hopes he would come home right then."

"What else don't I know? What else has been done behind my back?" I asked, trying hard not to take my anger out on Rosalie. She was standing here trying to help me out and didn't deserve my anger.

"To my knowledge, nothing else. Edward just … Bella, he felt so responsible for what Emmett said to you and he just wanted to fix it. He's having a really hard time dealing with the fact that he can't apologize enough to take your hurt away."

"He's having a hard time?" I cried, trying to pull away from her.

"Hey," Rose said softly as she pulled me closer. "I know what this has done to you. I know how it's rocked you to the core and made you question every single thing about him. And I know that just the idea of trusting him again is so big and scary that it makes your heart race. Most of all, I know how gut-wrenching it is to love a man who seems to get everything wrong so much more than he gets it right. But man, when he gets it right … Bella, sweetie, if anyone can understand what you're going through, it's me."

Her description was so dead-on and her desire to help so genuine that I cracked without a single reservation and slumped into her arms, letting her hug me fully while I struggled not to cry on either of our dresses.

"Bella, I know these words aren't going to be very comforting right now, but they are the absolute truth. Things are going to work out and be okay. You have me and I know you're not ready to accept him yet, but you have Emmett. Most of all, you have Edward. He is here, ready and waiting for the smallest sign of encouragement from you to help make your life exactly what you want it to be. All you have to do is just have a spark, a tiny little flame of trust and give it up to him."

"What if he hurts me again? How can I even think about letting myself be in the position to get hurt again? That's not smart, Rosie. That's stupid and I'm not stupid."

"No, sweetie. It's not stupid. It's love. It's messy and it's complicated, but, Bella, it's oh so worth it. And it gets better and easier with time because while they don't stop making mistakes, the mistakes get smaller and less significant. And that's because they want so badly to learn, Bella. They want to love us and make us happy. They want us to want them. I would not be telling you this if I didn't absolutely believe it myself."

"But if that's true, why did he lie? Why did he leave the door open for Emmett to blame me? How can I believe anything he says?"

"Words are easy to twist, Bella. But the way he looks at you, that can't be faked."

"I still don't even understand how we got here, Rosalie. One minute, I want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole damn life. The next, I'm terrified that if I'm in the same room with him he'll drop dead of a heart attack. And then I'm being told I'm pregnant. I feel like I'm trapped and any move I make is going to be the wrong one. Trust him and get hurt again. Don't trust him and never find out if he's capable of being truthful. And the part that really gets me, is if I wasn't pregnant, I would take the risk. I would give him another chance, a chance to be the real him and be completely honest. But I am pregnant and I have to make the choice that's best for these babies and I have no idea what that is and it scares the holy shit out of me."

"You're missing something important here, Bella. You don't have to make that choice alone."

I shook my head. "If I can't trust him to be truthful and I can't trust that he's not here just out of obligation, how can I trust he would make an honest and responsible decision about these babies?"

She took me by the shoulders, making sure I was looking at her. "Bella, from the moment he woke up, all he talked about was getting back to you. He knew he'd destroyed the trust between you two and he knew he was going to have to work his ass off to prove he could be honest. And every single time anyone asked him why he wouldn't just move on, he told them it was because he loved you and knew that you loved him too. He'd just hurt you too much for you to show it. Not once did he ever talk about being obligated to fix things. He only ever talked about how much he loves you, Bella."

"If that isn't true, if that's—"

She quickly cut me off. "Sweetie, if some part of you didn't think he meant it, you wouldn't have started to let him in before finding out about the pregnancy."

"There you ladies are," Jasper called out.

We looked in the direction of his voice and found him standing on the bottom step of the deck.

"You two should get in here," he said. "Esme wants to show you girls her new glasses."

After telling Jasper we'd be in soon, Rose turned her head my way and brought her hand to my swollen stomach. "So I get to be an aunt," she said with a big smile.

"Yeah," I said with a nervous laugh. "Three times over."

Rose's blue eyes went impossibly wide. "What? Holy shit! Edward didn't say that!"

"He didn't know," I replied with a shrug. "We found out Monday afternoon. My crazy body's tendency to go haywire was in full effect and two eggs got fertilized. One is all by itself and the other two blobs are close together. Dr. Bennett says they'll probably be identical twins."

"Oh, Momma Bella. You can't even do pregnancy slow and easy," Rose teased.

I found myself smiling as I agreed with her. "Yeah. It's pretty scary, but I think I can make it through the pregnancy. Giving birth and doing what's best for them … that's going to be the hard part."

Rose's blue eyes locked onto my brown eyes. "If I were you, I would start with talking things out with the man who helped create these little miracles."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The anniversary party had been a happy, fun-filled night for everyone there—even for me. I'd been able to put aside the worries and the questions and the fears for a few hours and just enjoy being with my family. I was even able to stomach a short conversation with Emmett and Edward, though it had taken standing between Jasper and Rosalie and holding her hand in a death grip. It wasn't even that I was scared of Emmett anymore—it was just seeing the two men who had turned my world upside down standing right there. Part of me wanted to scream at them, ask them what I had done to them that was so awful to deserve how they'd treated me—lying to me and accusing me of not caring. There was another part that just wanted to sit down and cry until the hurt stopped. And then there was a third part—a part that wanted to forgive and forget and just get lost in being embraced and loved by them.

Tugging my pajamas over my freshly washed skin, Rose's words came to mind again … You have Edward. He is here, ready and waiting for the smallest sign of encouragement from you to help make your life exactly what you want it to be. All you have to do is just have a spark, a tiny little flame of trust and give it up to him.

That was a great idea in theory. But how did I put that into practice? Where did I even start? Once again, Rose seemed to have the answer … If I were you, I would start with talking things out with the man who helped create these little miracles.

Would Edward tell me the truth, though? The full truth no matter how afraid he might be that it would add hurt to the pain he'd already caused me?

Just the idea of trusting him again is so big and scary that it makes your heart race … It's love. It's messy and it's complicated, but, Bella, it's oh so worth it … They want to love us and make us happy. They want us to want them.

Rose really did know what this was like. True that she hadn't been in the middle of this exact set of circumstances, but she knew what it was to be let down by the man she loved, to feel alone and lost without him. And looking at her now, she also knew what it was to be loved and wanted. Emmett had been coming through on every promise he'd made her about Boston, from texting when he would be late, to just plain texting to say he loved her. He was even helping around the apartment without being asked a million times. For him, that was a huge sign of love and appreciation.

Still … Trusting Edward. It wouldn't just be trusting him with my life anymore. It would be me plus three.

He is here, ready and waiting for the smallest sign of encouragement from you to help make your life exactly what you want it to be.

If Rosalie—a woman who under the right circumstances could often be more fiercely protective of me than Esme and Alice combined—if she believed Edward would come through on everything he was promising, then I could do it too. It wasn't going to be anywhere near as easy as saying "Hey, I trust you", but if I could try to trust and he could prove himself, then we could at least start from there.

And it had to start with why he'd lied and left me totally in the dark about his health. Even if he had been afraid to tell me the exact problem, he should have prepared me for the possibility of something happening—just the way I'd done for him with my health issues.

I made my way up the stairs and down the hall to Edward's room. His door was partly open, filling the hall with the low light of his lamp and some soft classical music. I poked my head through the door and found him standing in front of his desk in a dark blue t-shirt and matching pair of sleep pants; I only noticed because so much of his clothing was new these days to fit his new body.

Edward's hands were crossed in front of his chest and his eyes were locked on a picture on a shelf above his desk. I recognized it as a Christmas picture from a few years ago with everyone standing in front of the huge Cullen Christmas tree … Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, my dad, me, Jake, Alice, Jasper, and Edward on the end.

"It was so simple back then," I said as I stepped into his room. "You and I didn't get along and that was just the way it was."

Edward nodded but didn't look away from the picture. "Back when I was just too stupid to speak. Back before Mary. Before I started believing it was the weakness inside of me that made her think she could toss me away like she did. Before her, I used to think it was only Emmett who could see that I was less than what I wanted to be. I wasn't so worried about screwing up before then."

Not having his eyes on me made me feel brave enough to question him. "Why didn't you trust me to not see your heart as a weakness?"

"I want to tell you my reason, but I'm afraid you'll consider it a fake excuse and hate me for ever mentioning it."

"That's a pretty stupid fear," I said as I sat down on the end of his bed. "All that you've done so far and I don't hate you at all. I don't understand you and I can't say that I trust you, but I definitely don't hate you."

He finally looked at me and the raw honesty and fear in his green eyes was so visible that I wanted nothing more than to walk over there and hug him. But I didn't; I needed know why first.

He parted his lips and I tried to hear what he was saying with an open mind. "Bella, I didn't tell you because I was afraid the moment the word 'heart' came into the conversation, you would think of Aaron and run away from me so damn fast," he admitted. And I could hear in his voice and see in his face that it really was an admission. He really believed what he was saying right now so I sat there silently and let him continue.

"I was going to tell you at first," he said. He shook his head as if those weren't the right words and then he lifted his head, looking directly at me. "I wanted to tell you. All the excuses I ever gave, they just rolled right of my tongue and I barely even thought about them. But with you, it wasn't even about not wanting to lie to you. It was that I felt for the first time in my life, I was standing next to someone who would understand my fears and not judge me for them.

"And then I saw how deeply you carried Aaron's loss in your heart. I was afraid you would be so convinced that I would meet the same fate, that I would leave you, and I knew you wouldn't want to go through that. I wanted to promise you, to get on my knees and swear to you it wouldn't be the same. Dr. Chris swore the surgery was safe and I'd feel a lot better after, but I just … I'm sorry I couldn't have more faith in myself and my doctor to make you that promise. And I'm sorry I didn't have faith in you, but I was honestly convinced you would avoid even the idea of that kind of loss again and avoid me and I was too selfish to let that happen. And here I am, facing what I feared the whole time … You walking away from me."

If it weren't for the honesty so plain on his face, I knew without a doubt I'd have been mad enough at him for using Aaron to get up and walk away and be done. But that honesty was there so I attempted to give it right back to Edward. "Part of me is really … glad that you're hurting and scared," I told him. "I'm so sick of feeling that way and to know the person who gave me these emotions is feeling them too is … It's sadly comforting, Edward. It really is. But there's still this other part that hates the idea of you hurting for even a second. I want to protect you and make you smile and make you feel loved and safe. And then I remember I can't give you any of that because I don't even know how to do that for myself."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I don't know. I just know that I want to figure it out with you."

A slow smile spread across his face and touched his eyes just a little. "You mean it?"

"I wouldn't say it otherwise. But don't think I know how to go about it or that I want to just jump right into it."

"I know you need time and I have to be patient. Besides, I'm sure you're tired from the party."

A real smile curled my lips as I thought of Esme and Carlisle. "They had a really great night. And your dad whipping out that gorgeous diamond and gold anniversary band toward the end … Man, I thought your mom would faint from shock."

Edward chuckled and finally came over to sit beside me on the bed. "Dad was so nervous to give it to her. He showed the ring to Emmett, Jasper, and me like seven or eight times today, asking us again and again if we thought she would like it."

"She damn sure liked it. Hell, I bet she'll be busy thanking him all night long for that ring. I wouldn't be surprised at all if the lovebirds didn't make an appearance until late tomorrow afternoon."

Edward shook his head. "I don't think so. They have all six of their children home and I don't see them wanting to miss a second with us. They always seem to really enjoy hanging out with us when we're home."

My smile fell as I thought about the huge invisible weight hanging over our heads. "Yeah, well, we'll see how happy they are about it after we talk to them tomorrow."

Edward's hand settled over mine and gently squeezed my fingers. "How about instead of worrying and keeping yourself up all night, you just curl up with me and go to sleep?"

Sleep. Something that came so easily next to him despite how hard everything else was these days. Why was that? What was it that my body knew that my head and my heart were clueless about?

Not your heart. If your heart didn't know what it wanted, it wouldn't pick up speed whenever he gets near you. It wouldn't ache when he's away, even when you know he's just at the gym and has to come back to the apartment at some point. Your wrinkled mess of a picture wouldn't have any kind of calming effect on you. And you wouldn't be wishing he'd put his arms around you right this very second. It's your head that doesn't trust, that expects the world around you to dump on you. It holds onto the bad and forgets the good as a way to protect. But there's a line when protecting becomes sheltering.

"Bella?" Edward called, squeezing my fingers again.

I looked up at him, ready to trust him to tell the truth once more tonight. "You wouldn't mind?" I asked, honestly caring for his feelings.

He smiled and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'd only mind if you slept without me."

I took a deep breathe as I took a leap of faith with him and trusted his words. "Let's go to sleep then."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward's POV

As soon as I heard the sound of my phone's alarm, I rolled away from Bella and grabbed for it. Once the room was silent again, I turned back over to look at her. She was tucked deep under the blankets with her face buried in the pillow and seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I knew she had to be really exhausted if she hadn't heard my alarm at all and that made me wonder just how little she'd slept this past week all alone in her room.

Before I had a chance to get too worried about it, there was a knock on my door and my mother came inside. "Hi, Sweetheart. I just wanted to let you and Bella know that breakfast is ready."

"Thanks, Mom. I've actually got an errand I've got to go run. And if you wouldn't mind, could you let Bella sleep for another hour before waking her?"

"Is she having trouble sleeping again?" my mom asked as she came over and looked down at Bella.

"I think so. We kind of had a halt in our talking this week, but she came up here last night and we were able to talk a little."

"I'm worried about her, Edward. I could tell that even though she was smiling last night, she wasn't feeling well."

"I know. And I promise I'm going to talk to you about that during lunch today. But I need to run this errand first." I'd already mentioned to her yesterday that I wanted a lunch with her and my dad and Bella and Charlie; I just hadn't given her a reason for it other than spending time with our parents.

My mom's green eyes shot up and focused on me. "Edward, you're worrying me."

"I don't mean to. It's not anything bad. Not in my opinion, anyway. But it's serious and we want you guys to know. We also wouldn't mind some of that wisdom and advice you guys are so good at giving out."

"When you've been with someone for so long and gone through so many experiences, you get wise," she replied, giving me a small smile as her hand grazed over my cheek. "You'll get there someday and have wisdom of your own."

"I love you," I said as I kissed her palm.

"I love you too, son. I'll get out of here and let you dress for your errand."

"Thanks, Mom."

She gave me a smile, kissed Bella's cheek, and then left my room, closing the door behind her.

After making sure the covers were tucked close around Bella to keep her warm, I dressed in jeans and a light long sleeve shirt. It was only mid-August but the early mornings and late nights were already getting cool. With one more check on Bella and a few whispered promises of how much I loved her and wanted to be with her, I left the house and headed into town.

I parked the Suburban behind Charlie's cruiser and pulling up all the bravery and confidence I could, I climbed the porch stairs and knocked on the door. It was time to confirm for a father that his daughter was no longer untouched—and pray like hell I didn't get shot for it.

I didn't have long to wait before Sue opened the door in her robe and slippers, looking shocked to see me standing there. "Edward, is everything okay with Bella?" she questioned.

"Bella's fine," I assured her. "She's safe and sound asleep at my parents' house. I was hoping to talk to Charlie."

"Oh, well then come on in. He's in the kitchen with his coffee and his paper."

"Thanks," I said as I walked past her and entered the house.

"Sue, was that the boys coming home?" Charlie called out as I walked into the kitchen.

"No, Sir. It's me."

He quickly crumpled his paper to see me over the top of it. "Where's Bella? Is she okay?"

"She's perfectly fine. I just didn't want to wake her this early with as late as we went to bed after the party," I said, sitting down across from him. "And also, I wanted to talk to you alone."

Charlie took his time neatly folding up his paper, never taking his eyes off of my face. I felt like squirming in my seat but I wanted him to see me as an adult capable of caring for his daughter so I sat still and held his gaze.

"Must be pretty important for you to come here so early and without my daughter," he finally said.

"Yes, Sir. I have some news to share with you. I happen to think it's really great news, but you're her father so your take on it may be different."

"She decide to give you another chance? 'Cause if so, that's great news, Edward. I want to see my daughter smiling for real and not that fake one she had on last night."

"Don't say anything about it to her, please. She really thinks no one noticed."

Charlie sat back in his chair and eyed me warily. "So if it's not about you two getting together again, why are you here, Edward?"

"Well, Sir, there's really no easy way to say this," I said, fighting to keep my hand out of my hair. I needed to be strong and forget my nerves; I needed to show Charlie I was ready and willing to be a man, a good man for his deserving daughter. "Like I said, I think it's great news," I told him. "I think it's something Bella really wants and that will make her happy once she's able to relax and accept it."

Charlie leaned across the table and the glare in his eyes was so damn powerful I scooted my chair back. "Stop beating around the bush and tell me what you've done to my daughter, Edward."

"Bella's pregnant, Charlie."

I doubt the man could have looked any more shocked if I'd slapped him. Not that I ever would. I would never disrespect Bella's father that way. And not just because he was her father either. All my talks with Charlie had taught me that he was a stand-up guy who believed firmly in family and honesty. And who loved his daughter with a fierceness hidden behind his awkward moments with her.

The silence between us spun out for a while before he sat up straight and spoke. "Look, I don't know what game you're playing at here, Son, but it's not funny at all."

"I know it's unbelievable and that you had accepted just like Bella that it was impossible. But something changed in her body and she was able to conceive. Not only that, but she was ovulating so much that two eggs got fertilized instead of one."

"Twins?" Charlie asked, looking stunned all over again.

"Actually, Sir, triplets. A single baby and then a set of twins. I've got the picture right here," I said as I pulled my copy from my wallet and slid it across the table to him. Dr. Bennett had labeled the baby on the left "C" and the twins as "A" and "B" from left to right.

Charlie held the picture so tightly in his hands that I could see his knuckles turn white. When he looked up at me, I could see actual tears standing in his eyes. "She'll get to be a mom? And I'll be a grandpa?"

I gave him a nod while a smile of relief crossed my face. "Yes, Sir. She's getting her dream."

Charlie abruptly got out of his chair, making it scrape against the floor. "Sue!" he yelled as he headed for the doorway. He continued to yell as he pounded up the stairs in his boots, sounding pretty damn happy to my ears. "Sue, I'm gonna be a grandpa! You've got to see this picture. You've gotta see my grandbabies. My baby girl is going to be a mom."

I stood up and walked into the living room, looking up the stairs to see if I could see him and Sue. While I was standing there, the front door opened and I turned to see Seth and Jacob coming into the house.

"Hey, Seth," I greeted. "Hey, Jacob. You two are out and about early this morning. Or is it that you're getting home really late?"

"Bella's home?" Jake asked, his eyes brightening with excitement.

"No, sorry," I replied. "I left her sleeping at my parents' place."

"You left her, huh?" he said as he stalked forward and got into my face. "You're pretty good at that, aren't you, Cullen? Always leaving her and making her miserable."

"Jake, you don't understand—"

"No," he growled, cutting me off. "You don't understand. I talk to Bree. I know how miserable Bella is right now because of you. Just like I know she hasn't been to see us all summer long."

"She's been working," I told him.

"She's been avoiding," he barked back. "You did that. And now you stand here in my house like you belong here while my sister is off hurting somewhere."

I forced myself to take a deep breath, knowing this kid was only trying to look out for Bella. I appreciated all of the people who looked out for her and loved her. But I also wasn't going to be verbally attacked by a kid who had no idea what he was talking about. "Whether you like it or not, Jake, I'm Bella's family too."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say to a pissed off teenager who was almost as burly as Emmett because I found myself sitting on the stairs and covering my right eye with my hands.

Seth had both arms locked around Jake, yelling at him to calm down while Jake's chest heaved and growl after growl poured from his between his twisted lips.

"What the hell is all the noise for?" Charlie asked as he came plodding down the stairs. He stopped behind me and nudged me in the back with his boot. "You want to move, Son, so I can get down these stairs?"

"Don't call him that," Jacob snarled. "He's not our family. He's an asshole and I hate him for what he's done to Bella."

Charlie scooted past me, giving me a brief glance on his way down the last few steps. "That why you punched him, Jacob?"

"Hell yeah, it is," Jacob answered, struggling again against Seth's hold. "I'm not done with him either."

"Yes, you are," Charlie stated calmly and flatly.

Just like that, just with those simple words, the fight went right out of Jacob and he stood still in Seth's arms. "Why not? Why are you taking up for him instead of kicking his ass yourself?"

"Because of this," Charlie said as he held the sonogram picture in front of Jacob's face. "For better or worse, Edward is now family and that's not something you or I can ever change."

While Jacob marveled over the picture, Charlie turned around and grabbed my arm, pulling me up off the stairs. "Besides. I happen to believe you can fix things with my daughter and put a smile back on her face. I believe you're going to take care of my grandbabies and raise them right. And I believe you've learned your lesson about keeping Bella in the dark. Most of all, I believe you love my daughter and will give her the life she deserves."

"Charlie, I promise you that I'm going to love Bella and these babies with everything in me," I told him. "But I'm going to need your help. I came here this morning because Bella is terrified she can't keep the babies. She doesn't trust me, she doesn't believe I'm going to be here for her. I know that's my own fault and I'm doing what I can to fix it, but it's not enough. I know if you and my parents let her know she has our whole family behind her, that these babies are staying right here with all of us no matter what, she'll finally be able to relax and believe that."

"I promise you she's not leaving Forks until she does believe," Charlie said. "She's not giving up these babies. No way in hell will I let her rob herself of motherhood and me of being a grandpa. Not after spending all these years thinking it would never happen and watching her struggle with that."

"What are you talking about?" Jake asked. "Charlie, why are you acting like this is some kind of a miracle or something?"

"It wasn't any of your business and you were too young to know about it anyway," Charlie said as he took the picture from Jacob and looked down at it. "Bella was diagnosed with a disease when she was fourteen and we were told she'd never have a baby. She's been in and out of the hospital a few times because of the disease and we just never thought it would end in anything but a surgery that would put a stop to the disease and her ability to have babies."

Jacob started firing off questions, looking both hurt and angry. "Why didn't I know? How come you guys hid it from me? Why did you tell me she was in the hospital for accidentally hurting herself if that wasn't true?"

Charlie finally tore his eyes from the picture and looked at Jacob. "Because Bella looks out for you and doesn't want you upset and worried for her. And you know how uncomfortable it is her for her to talk about girl stuff with you and me."

"I hate to interrupt, but I really need to get back to Bella," I said as I moved toward the front door.

"Oh, well, here's your picture," Charlie said as he held it out to me.

I smiled and waved him off. "Keep it. Bella's copy is in Portland so I'll just make myself a new one."

"Thank you, Edward." There was no doubt in my mind the man meant those words. "When should I come over?" he asked.

"Around twelve. My mom's making lunch for us. I know you're probably ready to talk about it now but I thought it would be best if Bella had some time to be awake first."

"Twelve is good. I'll be there," he promised.

"Me too," Jake added.

"Not this time," Charlie said before I could. "Bella wants to talk to the parents first. She'll talk to you soon enough."

I could see Jacob was ready to argue and I didn't have the time to stand around and deal with him. And after what I'd seen of how he responded to Charlie, it was best to leave the talking to his surrogate dad. So I left the Swan house and headed back to my parents' home.

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EPOV

Getting home was easy. Getting upstairs to my father's study without being seen was a whole other story with so many people roaming the house and I just barely managed to make it inside without anyone getting a glimpse of my face. I'd checked it out in the rearview mirror just before coming inside and it didn't look so hot.

"Edward, what has you slipping in here like you're hiding?" my dad asked from behind his desk.

I crossed the room and stood before him. "I need you to look at my eye and I didn't want everyone fussing over me and making it impossible to get up here."

He was out of his chair in a flash, moving me toward the window and into the bright sunlight. "I'm sure you're feeling pain, but is it in your face or your actual eye?"

"Just the face, I think. I'm pretty sure it's just the face. It barely bothers me to blink. Talking and moving my face is what stings."

"Tilt your head," he ordered, using my chin to move my head before I could. He looked closely at my eye and tilted my head around in a few more angles before letting go. "Your eye seems fine," he said as he strode over to the little bar area in the corner. He opened the mini-fridge and pulled out the container of ice he kept in there, dumping cubes into one of the bar towels. He twisted it up into a ball and brought it over to me, frowning as he watched me wince at the first contact.

"How did this happen?" he asked, sitting down with me on the sofa.

"Jacob. He was really upset that I was in his house and not Bella. Each time I think I know how far the pain of my actions reached, I learn that there's someone else I affected."

"Beating yourself up over it isn't going to help anyone. Especially not Bella."

"I know that. And I'm trying so hard to remember it at all times. But to see Bella struggling so much right now … It's just so hard, Dad."

"Edward, I know this is upsetting, son, but why are you crying?"

I reached up and wiped at my eye, shocked to see he was right. "I just feel like total shit, Dad. This is all my fault."

"We're not just talking about Bella struggling to be near you, are we?"

"No. I was going to wait and tell you with her, but I feel like you can give me better advice if you know now. Just try and act surprised when she tells you later, okay?"

"If that's what you need from me, that's what I'll do," he assured me.

"Okay," I said, letting out a long breath. "Dad, Bella's pregnant. You know just as well as I do that she never thought she'd ever be a mother. And now because of my choices—my lies—she's too afraid to be happy about it. I'm ruining this for her and I hate myself for it."

"Well, that definitely complicates things further," he said after a long silence. "But Edward, if Bella is having trouble being happy about this, then I think her reasons are much bigger than you lying."

"That's just it, though, Dad. It's really not. It's all about trust with her and I broke her trust in me so badly. She wants more than just to be a mom. She wants a real family with the mom and the dad and the whole thing. She's terrified she can't do it alone and she can't believe me when I say I'll be here every step of the way. I caused that, Dad. And she warned me. She warned me again and again that she wasn't as strong as I thought she was but I was too wrapped up in myself to really hear her."

His hand settled on my shoulder and gripped it tightly, causing me to lift my eyes and meet his. "All things considered, I think you are doing the best you can for both Bella and yourself. You have been convinced from the start that things are fixable and you've been working toward that end. I think you need to continue to have that unyielding faith in her and your relationship. And I think you need to assure her in every way that you can that you would still be here if there wasn't a baby involved."

I nodded in agreement while wiping my wet cheeks with the back of my hand. I didn't bother to correct him on the number of babies, figuring it would give his look of surprise later a genuine undertone.

"Bella keeps bringing up the word obligation," I confided. "And every time I hear it, I want to scream. And then I think about the kind of fear she must be feeling to drive her to say it and I get angry with myself all over again. I don't want her overwhelmed like that. I want her happy about this, happy like me."

"I understand that. And I absolutely want the same for her. She is more than deserving of such good fortune in her life. But, Edward, Bella isn't going to let go of her fears and trust you implicitly right away. It could take nearly the entire length of her pregnancy for that to happen. Between the unsettled state of your relationship and the increase in her hormones, she's going to have real trouble."

"I know. That's why I want so much to get her to talk to me about our relationship. If we can come to a decision about where we stand, I think it would give her some confidence and security. I was thinking of asking her to go on a small trip with me. She seems to open up easier when she's not worried our family will overhear or interrupt our conversations."

"Do you have somewhere in mind?"

"Yeah, I do, actually. She's mentioned a couple times wanting to see New Orleans."

"Would you mind if your mother and I made the arrangements? It would help us both to feel like we're doing something to help in all of this."

I put my hand over my dad's since it was still on my shoulder and smiled at him. "Thanks, Dad. You and Mom have already done so much for me since my surgery. I couldn't have gotten this far without having your support."

"You have it, Son. Along with our love."

I spent another hour icing my eye and talking to my dad before Bella poked her head in the room. My dad left us alone to talk but Bella didn't say anything as she came over and sat beside me, staring hard at my face.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked, trying to start up a conversation with her.

"What kind of errand did you run this morning?" she countered.

I lowered the towel from my face and shifted on the couch to face her fully. "I know we said we would tell our parents together today, but I wanted to tell your dad myself. I wanted him to see how serious I am about loving you and wanting to raise a family with you. And I also kind of hoped if I showed that to him, you would see it too."

"And my dad punched you?" she asked, not looking for a second like she believed that.

"Of course not. My face wouldn't be recognizable if it had been him. Jacob punched me."

She groaned and dropped her head to the back of the sofa. "He can really be so stupid sometimes."

"He was upset I was there and you weren't. Seems like he's really missed you."

"I told him I was working."

"He thinks you were avoiding everyone because of me."

"No," she said softly. She lifted her eyes up to mine and the vulnerability there squeezed my heart so strongly that I scooped her right up into my arms and held her close.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair.

Her response was spoken so fast, like she was scared if she stopped she wouldn't be able to say the words. "I was scared to come out this far. I was scared I wouldn't stop driving and I'd go right past Forks and end up in Seattle and I'd hurt you."

"I'll make all of this up to you somehow. I promise you, Bella."

She turned her face further into my shirt and gripped the sides of it in her hands. "I don't want promises right now, okay? Just sit here with me for a little while."

I did exactly what she wanted. I stayed silent and held her, only speaking with my hold on her body and my lips on her head of how much I loved her and wanted her with me.

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Bella's POV

"I've been trying for hours now to come up with a word for what this is like, Aaron," I said, speaking to his bear. I had it lying next to my head on the pillow with one of its paws in my hand. It had been a long time since I'd talked to his bear this way instead of going to his grave, but it was too wet and late to be out there.

"That was probably the most … Esme, man … She's so good, Aaron."

I closed my eyes and could see myself sitting at the table in Esme's kitchen, gnawing on my lip and shuffling my feet under the table. I'd been fine and calm upstairs in Carlisle's study, but that had been just Edward and me sitting there and soaking up the silence. I'd wanted to ask him more about his eye and Jacob and my dad, but then the thought of having even more questions rolling around in my head had me too tired to bother. So I'd just sat there, soaking up the comfort and tranquility he had been so willing to give to me.

I'd hoped I would carry that calmness downstairs with me, but seeing the eager faces of our parents around the kitchen table had been like a douse of cold water on a hot body. I'd had Esme on my left and Edward on my right with Carlisle and Charlie sitting right across from me. Three smiling parents just waiting for me to open my mouth and say something. And when I had …

I opened my eyes and looked at the bear, picturing the blond haired little boy who used to cuddle it close and slip its head under his chin. "Aaron, they were so … so happy from that first moment. Not one of them acted like it was a mistake or a burden. They were so damn happy and it made me so angry. That was supposed to have been my reaction to it but it wasn't and that pissed me off. But it also made me so miserable that I just sat there and cried. Esme held me tight and let me curse and sob and cry into her shoulder until I could calm down."

I smiled just a little, thinking of my particular version of calming down. "Okay, so I kind of just wiped my face up some and stopped snotting all over her shoulder. I also listened to what she had to say to me. She said that this was more than a miracle, that it was my karma for loving and supporting my family so fiercely every single day. She said it was a gift of love for me and every member of my family. And then she told me that family sticks together in the rough patches just as tightly as they do in the good times and that I had no reason to worry for these babies. She said I have an entire family ready and waiting and all too happy to back me up and help me raise them. And then she lifted my face up and there was nothing but love for me in her eyes and it made me want to cry all over again.

"After I calmed down that time, she let go so Edward could hug me and when his arms came around me, for the first time in a long time … It felt like home, Aaron. And that was such a crazy way to feel right then and I just …

"I want it so bad, Aaron. I want to believe I can be a mom and I can have these babies in my life and my heart. That Edward will be right there with me every step of the way. But if I'm wrong … I just …"

"You aren't wrong."

I rolled away from the wall some and looked up at Edward standing in my doorway. "How long have you been standing there listening to me?"

"Not long. And I didn't actually mean to listen. I was coming up to let you know dinner's ready." He stepped out of the doorway and crawled up on my bed, wedging himself between the wall and my body and pulling me into his arms.

For a second, I thought about telling him to let me go, but by then that home feeling had already started to settle over me so I just laid there with him. I even managed not to fixate for once on how much I wanted him while still being afraid of losing him because of another lie.

Edward's lips brushed against my forehead while his fingers slid through the hair at the back of my head. "You don't have to be afraid to love our babies, Bella. You will be their mom. I promise you that no matter what else I do with my life, I will make sure you get to be a mom."

"You can't say stuff like that, Edward. Not when we don't know what we're going to do with our relationship."

"I can say it if it's how I feel. Besides, I think you need to hear it. You need to know that I'm committed to you no matter if you take me back or not. And also, I need you to know that I'd be this insistent on being with you even without these babies."

"You're just saying that."

His fingers gripped my chin and lifted until our eyes met. "Bella, I came back to Portland for you. I came back long before I ever suspected you might be pregnant. I came back because my life makes no sense at all without you in it. I love you. I want to be with you. If I get to have children with you, then that's an added bonus that I am glad to have. But you, you are my heart and my soul and the one person I don't want to ever live without."

I wanted to believe the look in his eyes was nothing but love and honesty, but I just couldn't trust it—I couldn't trust myself not to imagine it was there because I wanted it so badly. And also, it was really hard to concentrate on anything with the way we were laying because it was really killing my back. "Let go."

He listened right away despite the look of hurt that crossed his face.

"I'm not comfortable," I told him as I scooted around on my bed to find a spot I liked. "My back is bugging me. It's all knotted up."

"You know, I would be happy to rub it for you," he offered. He'd been trying to tell me all week that he was here for me, but it wasn't until he said those words that my brain really got it. I had barely talked to him this week, I'd been up and down emotionally for nearly the whole damn day, and I'd just accidentally hurt his feelings. And despite all that, he wanted to rub my back and make me feel better.

"It's hurting from the middle down to the top of my jeans," I told him as I leaned a little more forward to give his hands room.

His fingers sunk in with just the right amount of pressure and made a low groan come flying out of my mouth. He let me enjoy the massage for just a minute before breaking the silence. "Bella, I know it's been a long day for you in so many ways, but we've got to talk. I need to know what you're thinking and what you need from me."

I didn't say anything back but I did turn his words over in my mind. He was right that we needed to talk. But where would I even start? How could I explain my feelings when I had too many to even count? How could I get him to see how scary this was for me when he seemed so positive about it from the very first second?

Before I had a chance to answer those questions, I got distracted by the withdrawal of his hands. "Hey, it was just starting to unknot," I complained.

"Then I guess you better start talking to me, then, huh?" If not for the teasing tone to his voice—and the fact that I would have had to roll over to do it—he would have gotten socked in the arm for that little comment.

"Where do I start?" I asked. "I honestly don't know and there's too much going on in my head for me to choose."

His fingers tentatively touched my back but his question sure packed a damn wallop. "Why were you so convinced you couldn't keep our babies? And don't try to tell me you weren't. I saw your face today when our parents were going on and on about how they can't wait to help us with the babies. Not to mention what I heard when I came up here. Did you really think for a second you would be left all alone in this?"

"Can I have a skip on that for tonight?" I asked.

"Maybe. Maybe we can compromise. I was thinking about how we need to talk earlier and about how it's easier for you to open up when you aren't worried about us getting interrupted. So I thought we could take a little trip together, just the two of us for a week."

It was easier to talk when I didn't feel like I was being watched, and I knew my family never meant to make me feel like I was being watched or judged—it was just the way I felt. But a week with just Edward? What if I needed to walk off and take a break? He'd never let me go walking off on my own in a place I wasn't familiar with whether I was pregnant or not—he was just that kind of concerned guy. There were some parts to him that really seemed genuine and that was definitely one of them.

I closed my eyes and just focused on his hands against my back for a minute to center myself. And then I asked the question that really needed to be voiced … Did I want a life with Edward?

Yes. Not even a flash of hesitancy from my heart before it squealed it out loud and proud. And if that was the answer, then there was no question of not going, no question of not doing everything I could to make things work with him. I found it a lot easier to believe his earlier comment now because I felt that exact way—I wanted him and the babies were just a huge bonus. That didn't mean I wasn't still scared out of my mind about all of this, but it did give me the courage to take a leap of faith with him.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I was thinking New Orleans. Neither of us have been and you've mentioned it more than once."

"Could we get separate rooms?"

"Bella, I don't—"

"No, not like separate, separate, but like the suite thing Alice and I stayed in on our graduation trip where we each had a room inside of the room. I just … I might need some time to myself and—"

"No, you're right and I think that's a great idea. I'll start making arrangements on Monday."

"Do you think I can put off telling Alice and everybody else until after we come back?"

"I think you definitely should put it off. When you tell them, you should be happy and excited about it and I don't think you're going to feel that way until you and I have settled things between us."

I smiled a little as I thought of someone who was definitely excited. "My dad is crazy happy about this. I'd have thought he'd be looking to castrate you, but he just kept going on about all the things he's going to teach his grandbabies."

"Our parents know how much these babies mean to you, Bella. They want you to be happy as much as you want that for them."

"I know … It's just … It's hard, Edward. It's so hard to let myself have any kind of hope about my life right now. But for just a minute today, sitting there at the table with all of them, I could see it. I could see my dad and Carlisle and Esme holding my babies and loving on them the way they love me and it just … It reminded me of that intense joy I used to feel whenever I would get Aaron to laugh, like the rest of the world could fall away at that moment, but it would be okay because he was happy."

"We should go and see Aaron tomorrow before we leave."

"I'd really like that. I've been thinking about him so much lately. I've been trying to figure out if I was really good to him or if I stole from him. I want to believe so bad that I was good and that I did right by him. I really did love him, Edward, and I tried so hard to be a good person around him."

Edward rolled me onto my back and his worry was etched all across his face and filled his green eyes. "Please tell me you haven't been thinking you were responsible for Aaron's death."

"I thought …" I had to pause to swallow down more of those damn tears and to calm myself a little. Even though I understood that I hadn't had anything to do with Edward and Aaron's heart problems, there was still that little voice in the back of my head whispering about danger and poison.

"Bella, talk to me," Edward pleaded as he pressed his forehead against mine. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"When I thought that I had almost killed you, I thought I must have stolen time from Aaron too. That he could have had more months if I hadn't come crashing into his life."

Edward's worried expression turned into a deep sadness. "Bella, I am so sorry. I don't know how I'm going to make up for all the ways I've wronged you, but I promise I won't stop trying. Just tell me what you want, what you need."

"I don't know what that is yet," I admitted.

He leaned over and hugged me, pressing his head against mine. "We'll figure it out together. We'll figure out how to fix everything I broke and then we'll have a life together. You and me and our babies."

I clenched my eyes shut to keep in my tears and buried my face in his silky hair while my arms held as tightly to him as possible. "I wanted them right away. Just dots on a picture but I wanted them so badly, Edward. And I wanted you. I wanted to be a family but it just didn't seem possible. It doesn't really seem possible now either but I want it so bad I can't help hoping. But I don't know what to trust. I don't know what's true and what's not because all the things I keep thinking are true end up being something different weeks later. I can't have that happen with this. I can't think it's real and they're mine and then have it not be true in a month or two. I can't take that."

"This isn't the same, Bella. I know that's got to sound lame and worthless but that doesn't negate the truth of it. This is a miracle and a gift and no matter what it takes, we're going to hold on to it together. You and me, Bella. We can do this. Look at all we've done separately and then imagine us working together, side by side. We can do this and we will do it. Whether we are able to find our way back to having a romantic relationship or not, we're still going to be parents together. We're still going to raise these babies together. No matter what it takes, no matter what kind of sacrifices we have to make, we're going to raise our babies. There's no one else, Bella, no one else anywhere who can love them and appreciate them as much as you and me."

"We can't fail at this, Edward. We can't screw it up."

He lifted his head and looked down at me, his expression serious. "We won't. We're in this together for the rest of our lives, no matter what else happens."

Before I could say anything in response my stomach let out a growl so loud that Edward heard it clearly and snorted. "But first, let's get you fed, Momma Bella."

I pulled my pillow out from under my head and pressed it against his face. "You've been talking to Rosalie."

Edward yanked the pillow from my hands and his grin was too infectious not to return. "She mentioned she called you that last night and that it made you smile."

"Yeah, well, just make sure you don't call me that shit around the others. I am really, really not ready for Alice's excitement yet. I want some of my own first."

His smile disappeared but not the sincerity in his eyes as he leaned in and kissed my forehead softly. "I'll help you get there, Bella. I love you."

"I love you too. Even if I find it kind of hard to be close to you right now."

"Come on," he said as he scooted up onto his knees and pulled me with him. "Let's get you fed and see if we can't get rid of a little of your grumpiness. Maybe you'll like me a little more then."

"You know, if you're going to call me grumpy every time you think I'm hungry, you won't make it to the due date," I warned him.

Edward's smile lit up his whole face. "February twenty-seventh."

Of course he would have my due date memorized already, I thought as I looked up at him. For just a moment, I was aggravated with him all over again just because he was able to be happy about this when I wasn't. But then I realized how unfair to him that was and how feeling that way wouldn't help me get where I wanted to be.

"Give me your other hand," I told him.

He gave me a puzzled look but did what I wanted. I knew he wouldn't feel anything but the size of my belly since I didn't even feel anything yet, but I also knew the gesture would mean a lot to him. I curled my fingers around his wrists and brought his palms to rest against my swell.

"So three for one special, huh?" I joked, even managing a small smile for him.

Edward's own smile was that lighting-up-buildings one I adored. He couldn't seem to decide if he wanted to look at his hands or my face and there was no mistaking the excitement he was feeling in that moment—excitement I desperately wanted to share in.

"I don't know how to do this," I admitted. "I don't know how to trust you again, but I know I have to try. I want to like my life again. I want to be happy for me and for these babies. So you have to help me with that, Edward."

He leaned in to kiss me on the lips as he murmured, "I love you."

If I believed nothing else that came out of his mouth, I knew I could believe he meant those three words. One of the few ways we were exactly alike was in how serious we took those words—that was something you just couldn't fake. So armed with nothing but the love I felt for him, I was going to risk the burn one more time. Gods help us all!

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A/N: I hope Bella's reaction in the last chapter makes a lot more sense to everyone now. And for those ready to sweep Edward's lie under the rug so quickly, I hope you really would be able to do that if something so awful happened in your real life. From the experiences I've seen around me, that's a rare way to be able to react to your entire world getting flipped upside down and leaving you unsure of what was real and what was part of the lie.

On to the fun stuff! Links to the Party Polyvores of all the outfits are up on the Worth the Burn page. The outfits were put together by the very talented alicetheannoyinglittlepixie – She truly does channel Alice so well and I am lucky to have her help on this story! I especially love the dress she picked out for Esme.