Christian's POV

"Mrs Jones, I think that was the best mac and cheese you have ever made." I say and Ana looks at me and shakes her head, smiling.

"Gail, Gail it was just divine, thank you," Ana says grinning past me to Gail who looks like we have just given her an award and smiles brightly before walking away. Ana continues, "The perfect ending to a perfect day," and she looks at me with so much love in her eyes that even I can see it. I can tell she loves me but really she shouldn't, I don't deserve her pure love, she would be much better off with a person who deserves her, has led a pure life as well, she deserves to be happy and I won't be able to give her what she needs.

"Wherever you're going, don't go there," I hear quietly through the black fog that is starting to descend and I blink and look at Ana to see the concern now shadowing her eyes as well. She reaches and squeezes my hand saying, "We're making new memories together. Can you stay present for today so that the memories aren't tainted?"

Not only is she gorgeous but scarily, she can read me much better than anyone I know so I nod and attempt to pull myself back to the here and now and whisper "Sorry, I.. ah.. Sorry." I shrug unable to believe that I am actually lost for words and I stare at her perplexed.

Giggling Ana says "You're too far away from me, why are you all the way over there? I need to kiss you to bring you back to the here and now." Ok, I can follow that simple request and her giggling is relaxing me so I will my body to respond and I leave my chair and pick her up in one quick swoop.

Ana shrieks then dissolves into a bigger flood of giggles as I stand there holding her with an exaggerated pout waiting for my kiss and I'm glad she had the second glass of wine as she is relaxing again in my arms despite my freak out of a minute ago. She feints a kiss on my nose and then my cheek and all over my face but avoiding my pout which I am finding increasingly hard to hold and as she passes my lips one more time I tighten my grasp and without her realising, I have caught both her arms and she is caught in my trap.

This time it's my turn to grin and begin her torture and the giggles erupt again as I reciprocate her torment and it's just as I spin her to disorientate her, that our lips meet, passion exploding as it had in the elevator and I hear Gail place dessert on to the table behind me. Her professionalism in delivering the dessert and disappearing with a minimum of time at the table is beyond amazing and the only reason I turn, is the smell wafting towards us. Ana's eyes fly open and she's the one breaking contact to gasp "Hot chocolate pudding…." And then wickedly "Hmm, that sauce might burn."

"Oh no, Missy, there is no way you're dribbling that on me!" and I lift one eyebrow and I am about to say "I know where I'd like to dribble and lick some cream" and think better of it, there's so much that I have done that I don't want to taint Ana with, I want to build memories with her that are new, she's right, they'll be so much sweeter if we build them together.

As delicious as dinner had been, dessert is even better, I refuse to let Ana feed herself as I hold her close and share the divine chocolate pudding, smothered in custard and ice-cream. By feeding her, I can make sure that she actually takes in a decent amount, I am determined that she is going to be well fed if nothing else. Finally Ana looks completely sated and I finish off dessert by licking that last little bit of chocolate off her lip and her sweet smile is as much reward as I could ask for at this moment.

We sit quietly for a couple of minutes and then Ana says, "Would you play something for me? Something that means something for you or something that you like to play."

"Ana, I'd love to but you look exhausted, if I do, it's going to be a really quick one and then you are going to bed."

When she doesn't argue but just nods her head, I know she's exhausted and I want to see that smile on her face one more time before she sinks into exhaustion so I quickly carry her over to the chair by the piano and start playing.

It takes a second and then she's giggling, I know I can go to sleep happy tonight, apparently me singing Selena Gomez "I love you like a love song" is "too funny for words" and then I finish off with one song that I want her to listen to, Bruno Mars's "Just the way you are" and she wraps her arms around my neck when I carry her to the bed room and just snuggles. I think that once the cast is off, this is still going to be my favourite way of having her move around the apartment and that thought alone has me smiling into her hair.

I call Nurse Melanie to help Ana to bed and she is really annoyed with me and I understand that I shouldn't have tired Ana out to the extent that I have but I am hoping that happy exhaustion will trump the last couple of days of stress and she will be the better for it.

Apparently Nurse Melanie does not agree and suggests to me that perhaps a couple of days of full bed rest will be most appropriate. As Mom did imply a similar scenario earlier when she came to check on Ana, I decide that I'd better play ball and murmur my assent and make my way to my office to catch up on the afternoon's work. I need to get that finished so I can have a decent night's sleep as well and if I go to work for the next two days then I'll have the weekend with a recharged Ana, that thought hurries my steps towards my office and I work until the wee hours.

I have a chuckle as I read through my emails, the thank you from Ros indicated that she was impressed that Ana had such style as to influence me to suggest the Louboutins, thankfully Ros never suspected I know all about female fashion and it has nothing to do with Ana, she, who would rather pad around barefoot than wear "instruments of torture" like Louboutins. I am sure Ana will change her tune once she is able to wear the gorgeous clothes that now fill half of my closet although I wouldn't be totally surprised if she wore her converse under some of the ball gowns. The thought distracts me about the fact that finally I might enjoy all these functions if I have Ana by my side and I'll happily buy her converse if that is what she'd rather but to see her in towering heels and a sexy dress is a dream I hold.

A further thought hits me, there are going to be scars on her legs and how will she deal with them? Obviously today I triggered a panic attack by touching the skin on her back, what is she going to be like when the cast comes off. My poor baby, I need to organise visits by John Flynn now so that by the time the cast comes off, she'll be mentally ready for the damage underneath.

I need to speak to Flynn too, my reaction last night to Ana's touch was reprehensible and we need to figure out what I have to do to get past it otherwise we're destined to never touch skin to skin and even the thought of that makes me cold. I want to worship the whole of Ana, make her feel loved from the bottom of her toes to the top of her head and I know I have to get over my old issues to help her over her, much more recent and therefore rawer ones.

What a couple we make!


Ana's POV

"Hey, why so sad?" He rubs his nose along mine and deposits a soft kiss on my lips. I didn't realise that he'd notice that I feel flat this morning.

I have to admit it to him, "I would have started my finals two days ago and would almost be finished everything in one day if I was still there."

"Sorry"

"Yes, it is all your fault," I say sarcastically.

"Huh…?"

"See, that was a stupid statement on your behalf. Of course it's all your fault that I have a crazy ex-step sister trying to kill me. Not!" I think and laugh tightly "Ha, funny, that makes me almost like Cinderella…." I pause for a second and then rush on to the important part, "Anyway, I want to do my exams next week, I was thinking if I could get to WSU on Monday, I could do my exams on Monday and Tuesday and then graduate on Wednesday."

Christian's eyes almost bug out as he shouts at me "Are you insane?"

"Um, No! Please don't shout at me," and I glare at him until his stance softens a little. "Think about it, I have four solid days of studying that I can do and I did two good ones on Monday and Tuesday because you weren't around and I had a lovely relaxing day yesterday. I have done way more studying here than I would have at home because I didn't have to go to work or to lectures and I haven't had to cook and clean, all I have done is study."

He's moderated his tone a little but it's still an angry "No, absolutely not!"

Ok, this is starting to annoy me "Wait, whose life is it that we are talking about anyway? I don't feel legitimate getting my degree on Wednesday without doing the exams."

"Oh honey, you are more than legitimate. The Dean agreed that given your work and your grades and your conscientious work ethic that they would confer the degree."

Nope, I am not listening, I have a plan. "Well, when were you going to go up to confer the degrees? I'm assuming you wouldn't be going up on Wednesday morning, you'd have to go up the night before at least, wouldn't you?"

Finally he can see that I am quite determined and that it might be possible I can do this and he muses "Maybe we can fly up and stay at the Heathman on Sunday night, you can sit your exams in a crammed manner, well, lie your exams and then we fly home on Wednesday night. It's not ideal though and I don't like it." He looks quite upset and I don't know if it's because he doesn't like the idea, the fact that I have answered back, the fact that I am turning more plans on their heads or what.

"Or we could stay in my apartment." I offer and he looks at me like I have really gone mad. Before he can say anything I continue, "I need to pack it up, everything is being moved up here to Seattle the next Saturday."

Christian snorts, "I can get someone in there to do the packing for both of you, I'll arrange it now," and he takes out his phone.

For some reason that upsets me and before I can help it, I sniff and turn away "Woah, honey, it's ok, talk to me," and he puts his phone away and gently turns me back, looking into my eyes as he uses his thumbs to wipe the little trickles down my cheek, "This isn't about someone else packing up your stuff is it?"

I guess it isn't and I shrug, I didn't expect to react like that, "I just want to say goodbye to that part of my life that was stolen away from me," I stutter, and Christian just wraps himself around me and I can feel that he understands as he lets me sniffle into his chest.

"Let me organise it." He says gently, rubbing little circles into my back. "We can fly up there on Sunday and fly home on Wednesday night or Thursday, you might want to celebrate on Wednesday as you will have graduated and all, you've done much better than I, I never dropped out." I can tell he's trying to bring me out of my funk and I am so grateful that my little sentence made sense to him, I hadn't realised that I needed to do that until the words tumbled out of my mouth.

"One day, Christian, one day, I won't be a sook anymore." I manage to calm myself to say.

The chuckle starts in his tummy and I feel it rumble through his chest as he holds me, "Hey, you're entitled to it, it's just 10 days since you had an accident that should have logically killed you, give yourself a break. Instead of resting and sleeping and doing nothing but getting better, you've been put through the wringer so many times and now you want to add exams to it, it's no wonder you are emotional baby, your injuries and the pain that they must be causing you, make me want to cry and then on top of that you are handling me and all my shit. How you aren't a constant basket-case is beyond me." He holds me tighter and again I feel it, the absolute love that he says he doesn't know how to give or take and it's like he is trying to transfer my pain to him.

"I don't know if I have told you," he says looking at me with the deepest pain in his eyes "When I reached your car and pushed it from the tree, I was sure you were dead, you were so pale and the blood was all over your face and there was some dripping out the bottom of your door. It looked so bad I threw up," he says with the distress of reliving the memory "and I knew then that you held my heart already, and I had to do whatever I could to save you." He finishes with a whisper.

"And save me you did, please don't think about the accident, I don't want to think about it because it brings up too many other things for me." And I stop gasping at a thought, "Oh, did I ever say thank you?" I'm mortified, I can't remember if I have ever said thank you to Christian for saving me.

"Yes, you have, and every time I see you smiling is thank you enough," he says holding me tight once more.

"Can we talk about how we are going back to my apartment? You said we'd fly there, I don't know how I'll go sitting in an airplane seat unless I have the exit aisle and they won't let me sit there." I say wanting to distract him from where his thoughts have taken him.

Again the chuckle, and he kisses me on the nose and I know he's laughing at me, "Will you trust me to get you up there and leave it all up to me? You need to study Missy if you want to pass these finals and Nurse Melanie doesn't like me as it is, so once she finds out about this, she is going to be madder, you know that? And I am absolutely sure she'll be mad at me!" He's laughing though and I don't think he really cares what Nurse Melanie says.

"I did promise your mom that I would take it easy and since I am simply going to be sitting and reading, I think it will be ok," I say and then my stomach growls.

"Not until you've had a decent breakfast, I'll get that for you then you can study and I will go into work so that I am not distracting you." And that is a really good idea because I can't do anything when Christian is in my proximity; I can't even think straight anymore and I need to concentrate.

I didn't tell him that when I am studying, I don't feel the pain because I am so absorbed and the pain since all the movement yesterday is probably double what it was the day before, I need something to take the edge off for me. So I keep it light and bright and breezy when he brings my breakfast back and make sure to eat everything and since Gail cooked it, it is delicious and he looks on with approval as we devour breakfast together.

The light in his eyes dims a little when I push the plate away and reach towards my books. "Ana, take the pain killers, I overdid it with you yesterday," he says with a worried look on his face and I gasp.

"What made you say that?" I am so shocked I whisper and he shrugs.

"I could feel that you are in pain," is all he offers up and it actually scares me that he is so in tune to my body. "I had you bending in all sorts of positions, sitting in the limo unsupported, sitting on the rocking chairs and then on the beach, you were completely unsupported and all the moving, I tried keeping you straight but we did too many things, I'm sorry."

He won't look at me and I say. "Christian, look at me, I didn't do anything I didn't want to do and if you gave me the opportunity, I'd do them all again today, I'm ok." I know I need to distract him "Please give me new Teddy, I haven't given him a name yet, do you want to do that?"

The smile slowly appears as he rises to pick the teddy up from the chaise by the window, "I think I'll call him 'Sorry'," he says quietly.

"Gah, enough of that, I think I'll call him "Sin"." I say cheekily as I hug the teddy tight and kiss it on the nose.

"Hello? Sin? You want to call him Sin?" Well, that caught his attention and I laugh at his reaction.

"Yes Sin as in Frank Sinatra….Ole Blue Eyes" and I giggle and there it is, I am rewarded by that lopsided smile that shines through his eyes. Now he can go to work and I will be happy that he's not beating himself up so much.

"Now don't wear out all your kisses on him, save some for me." Christian says as he gently takes my face in his hands and attends to my lips in such a way that would have had any Victorian lady swooning and certainly leaves me with a rosy hue. I am left in absolutely no doubt that he cherishes me and I'd love to deepen the kiss but he has to go to work and I really need to study. Especially now that I have put this deadline on myself, not to mention the fact that I need to change position due to the pain which is exploding between my chest where I am holding my breath right down to my pelvic bone which wants to dance a tango without my permission.

Thankfully Christian doesn't telepathically pick up on the additional pain and with a kiss on the head, is gone for the day.

Nurse Melanie has a rather sour "I told him so" look on her face when I tell her that perhaps a little more medication would be better today and I really don't want to be bothered by her attitude, there is no way I would have wanted to miss any part of yesterday and perhaps if I hadn't thrown myself at Christian so many times, I would be feeling better today but the memories of those stolen minutes in the elevator and on the beach and in the elevator, make me giggle and earn me an annoyed "harrumph" from Melanie and she turns on her heel and leaves me alone with my thoughts.

"Oh right, back to study Ana" my brain says and I intend to but only after texting Kate that I will probably see her late on Sunday and that I am intending to do my finals on Monday and Tuesday. I put the phone down and the phone call is almost immediate.

"Are you insane? What do you think you're doing?" is shouted at me through the phone without even a "Hi" and I swear, it's exactly what Christian said.

"Now I get why you don't like Christian," I say, "You're just like him!" and I suddenly picture Kate in some weird Domme outfit, not that I know what that is but I can imagine.

"I am not! How is he letting you do that?" She continues to scream at me.

"Kate, be quiet, I've already had Christian be upset at me and I explained why to him and he has accepted it, under duress I might add, so please, don't shout at me too. That's why I said you're like him, you said exactly the same thing in the same tone of voice!" I say exasperated.

"Well, that's because we're being sensible and you're not. You nearly died 10 days ago…" She rants and I cut her off.

"Again, exactly what he said too. Guess what, I know, I was there! Yes, I am in pain, but I can tell you I have been studying my butt off and when I study I don't feel the pain, I haven't been cooking, I haven't been cleaning, I haven't been working at Clayton's, I've been studying so you know what, I think I'm in a better spot than if I had been there, although I could do without the pain."

"Still…" Kate persists.

"Kate, as I said to Christian, I don't feel right accepting my degree without sitting the finals. And I want to… " and my voice drops to a whisper "I just want to say goodbye to the part of my life that was stolen from me so I want to sleep in the apartment one more time." As I say that I hear a small sniffle on the other end of the phone and I know that Kate is just looking out for me too. I don't want to start crying again myself so I say " Oh, good news, Christian is going to organise someone to pack it all up and ship it to Seattle, both yours and my stuff so you won't have to pack, one less thing to worry about and Elliot can just "help" you with whatever you need help with. How is it going with Elliot anyway?"

This bit of news is greeted with a "Hooray, I wasn't exactly looking forward to packing everything up, especially the closet. Please thank Christian for me. As to Elliot, dreamy, Ana, he is so dreamy. Hang on, how are you getting here? When are you getting here? How is this going to work?"

"I don't know to be honest, Christian is handling it." And for once I like the sound of that, one less thing to think about and that brings me back to the thought that I need to be studying because despite my bravado with both of them, I really don't know if I have studied enough. "Got to go Kate, good luck for the last few exams and I'll let you know, once I know, about the arrangements. Mwah"

I focus back on Tess and am writing my notes furiously when my phone pings at me.


From: Christian Grey
Subject: How are you?
Date: May 19, 2011 10:30am
To: Anastasia Steele

Dear Miss Steele,

Have you had a break yet? Have you taken the medication? Are you ok?
Don't overdo it.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


I smile, it's nice that someone is worried about me.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Aren't you busy?
Date: May 19, 2011 10:32 am
To: Christian Grey

Dear Mr Grey,
Thank you for your concern, please be assured that everything is good here.
Given that you will be out of your office for 3 days next week, may I remind you that you should be concerning yourself with matters of business (perhaps a moving company) and not concerning yourself with me.

Sin(cerely)
Ana x


I've barely hit send and the response is back.


From: Christian Grey
Subject: Cheeky
Date: May 19, 2011 10:33 am
To: Anastasia Steele

I should have bought you a stuffed monkey, not a teddy bear!
And you haven't answered my questions.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc


I giggle, Christian is harder to distract than most people so I decide to have a little more fun.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Climbing the walls
Date: May 19, 2011 10:38 am
To: Christian Grey

Well, monkeys are more handsy and I can't have two stuffed animals with the same name.

Yes, I have answered, I said everything was good but if you need the detail, here goes.
Yes I've had a break. Yes I've taken the medication and Melanie WAS mad at you
And I am ok, never as good as when you are here but I can't study when you are here so I'll cuddle with Sin and it'll have to do.

Ana xx


The email goes silent and I assume he is back working and I concentrate on my studying, the little email banter was enough to refresh me and I dive back in.

However, not ten minutes later, Gail is standing in front of me bearing a tray filled with food, little cupcakes, little pastries, a bowl of fruit, a tub of yoghurt and a huge pot of tea. "Mr Grey called and said you needed some sustenance" she says with a huge smile at my shocked look.

"I told him I was ok." I stammer out to her and she just continues to smile and pats my hand and goes to leave me.

"You and I know that but if he hasn't provided the sustenance he doesn't feel that he has done enough," Gail says kindly and I can tell she recognises his need to control much more than he does and I am grateful that she is such a loyal employee but she surprises me with what she says next. "It's so lovely to have you to look after, I can prepare what you want, please let me know, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you but I don't think you should be waiting on me, that's quite wrong, you have more than enough to do especially with Melanie here too." I state and watch fascinated as Gail controls what looked like a flash of temper when I mentioned Melanie's name.

"Miss Steele.." Gail starts.

"Gail please call me Ana, at least when Christian isn't here," I say, this woman has been acting more like a mom to me than my mother ever did and I don't want her calling me Miss Steele, "I'll make sure that Christian isn't upset."

"Ana, it's a pleasure, you don't place any extra demands on me and if there is anything you need, please make sure to tell me." And in the way she says that, I can tell that Melanie who really hasn't had to do too much is bothering her. I don't want to ask but decide that I will endeavour to find out what is going on and let Christian know.

With Gail still standing there, Melanie bustles in and says quite brusquely "You need to take some more medication now, I have a new one here that is better than the other one" as she puts the tablet bottle on the table and reaches and takes a pastry and pops it in her mouth and then grabs a cupcake as well.

"If you'd let me take a photo please Melanie, I'd like to show Christian that I am eating," I say and she reluctantly places the cupcake back on the tray, I watch Gail struggle with a myriad of emotions out of the corner of my eye as I take the photo and as I finish, Melanie grabs the cupcake again and walks away.

"Well, I never…!" is all that Gail says as she walks out the door shaking her head.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Seriously?
Date: May 19, 2011 11:00 am
To: Christian Grey

Here is the proof of what Gail delivered. Are you happy now? Thank you.
Just a little question: When can you schedule a session with Claude for me so that I don't turn into a blimp with all this food and the complete inability to move?

Ana xx


I receive no response and eat some of the fruit and yoghurt and a cupcake, I am sure that Melanie will polish off the rest before Christian comes home and he doesn't need to know that I didn't eat them.

I continue studying until I feel tired and decide to nap, while the new pain killers have numbed the pain, they are making me sleepy and I decide I won't take them in the afternoon if they leave me feeling so incapacitated, I'd rather avoid the pain by concentrating on my work than by sleeping as I will never be ready for the exams if I sleep. My full stomach and the warmth of the sun coming in the window all contribute to me resting my head on the teddy and deciding that a little snooze won't hurt and I drift off.

Suddenly I see it again, the flash of red in the rear view mirror, hear the crash of the cars as they collide and feel the car out of control careering through the trees to an earth-shattering crunch into the tree and I gasp as I feel the airbag hit my face and then I hear the cackling laughter of Cecilia looking in through the window and I scream.

"Ana, it's ok honey, you're ok," I hear but I can't see him and something is weighing me down, "Ana, it's ok, you were having a nightmare, just breathe for me. I'm here with you, just relax baby, you're ok" and then he hovers into view, kissing the tears off my face in the darkened room and I realise it was his arm over me that I could feel.

"What happened? …Why? …. Why are you here? You were at work. Why am I in bed? I went to sleep on the chair because the pills made me sleepy…." I am struggling to put together a coherent sentence and breathe at the same time and Christian growls.

"Where's Melanie?"

"Mr Grey, Melanie is out to lunch," is Gail's response from the door with a sniff.

"But what are you doing here?" I ask completely confused. "What am I doing on the bed?"

"Let's just say I didn't believe that you'd eat everything that I asked Gail to prepare.." and there's a snort from Gail that draws Christian's attention and he raises his eyebrow and she turns and walks away, I think Christian is thinking she is laughing but I know that she is stopping herself from mentioning Melanie eating half the tray.

Christian continues "… So I thought I'd come and check and have lunch with you and I found you sprawled across the chair and about to fall off, the teddy was actually stopping you from falling so I lifted you and put you to bed. You're overdoing it if you are falling asleep so heavily.."

Something in my face makes him stop, "What did Melanie give you and when did she give it to you? Mrs Jones" he calls out and she comes rushing to the door at his tone. "What time did Melanie leave and with whom was she having lunch?"

"Mr Grey, she left at about 12 noon and met a young man downstairs, I was just coming back with the shopping, I didn't recognise him and he didn't come up to collect her. She said Ana was sleeping in her room and I assumed she was in bed." Christian thanks her and dismisses her.

"It was about 11:45 that she gave me two of those pills in that bottle there" I say, pointing to the bottle on the table and he disentangles himself and comes back frowning, having opened the curtains as he did so.

"Take no more than 1 tablet every 4 hours," he reads from the bottle and then wearily rubs his hands through his hair "God Ana, I can't even protect you in my home," he says dejectedly and he looks like he has the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.

"I hire a nurse so that you are safe in my home and she overdoses you so she can go out to lunch with god knows who, it could be someone trying to get to you, it could be anyone." He looks so worn out and then he asks quietly, "What does Melanie do for you?" as he does so, he runs his hand up and down my arm, it's distracting but I can see that he isn't even realising that he is doing it.

"She really just helps me in the bathroom" and I can feel myself turning pink and hurry on "And she gives me my tablets."

"God you're funny," he says smirking at me, "Wait here" he says as he goes to leave the room ducking to avoid what might come flying but I just smile at him.

It takes Christian about 10 minutes and then he is back with Gail in tow carrying a tray with delicious looking sandwiches and drinks. "Ana, Gail will be looking after you for the rest of the afternoon as I will need to go back to work today. Tomorrow, I am going to be working from my office here, I promise not to disturb you, then the weekend I will be available for you both days, Monday to Thursday we'll be in Portland so Gail can come with us, there's no-one here to look after as Taylor will be with us and then we'll deal with the situation when we are back in a week. How does that sound?"

"What about Melanie?" I ask surprised.

"Her contract is terminated." That's it, she's gone and I can't say I'm sad to see her go.

"Gail, I'm sorry, are you ok with adding me to your already heavy workload?" I ask, worried.

"Goodness Ana, it is a pleasure and without having to clean up and cook for Melanie, I will have more than enough time to assist you, you so rarely asked for her assistance." Gail says warmly.

At her words though, Christian looks at her and his face darkens, "Come again? What were you having to do for Melanie? She was supposed to be keeping her room tidy and organising her own meals as she did have plenty of spare time and was being paid for her meals so she should have been buying them outside." Gail looks like she really doesn't want to say anything but Christian growls at her, "May I remind you that you are in my employ Mrs Jones and I need to know what occurred as it appears she has been derelict in her duty in relation to Ana and I need to know what else has occurred."

Gail visibly gulps and says quietly, "Well, I don't want to speak out of turn Sir, but when you weren't here, Melanie was demanding coffees and food at very regular intervals and she ate at least half of Ana's tray this morning. Oh, I feel like a snitch."

I feel sorry for the position Christian has backed Gail into, "Oh Gail, you're not being a snitch, I almost had to smack her hand to stop her eating it all. I'll show you on the photo what she ate Christian" and I point out all the snacks that Melanie ate this morning and Christian's annoyance grows visibly.

"So you didn't eat the tray as you purported in your message," he snarls at me.

"Woah, back up your anger, just because you're angry at Melanie, don't aim it at me, please." I say wondering where I am gathering the courage to stand up to him because he is extremely angry, I can feel it almost radiating off him.

He looks at me and runs his hands through his hair as he controls himself and shakes his head, saying "Sorry, did you actually eat anything? No wonder those drugs had such an effect, they are only supposed to be taken with a full meal and she gave you double the dosage."

"I had the yoghurt and the fruit and one of the cupcakes, so yes I did eat, please calm down, there's no point getting angry, she's gone and we have lunch sitting right here.." and that somehow manages to placate him and he dismisses Gail and sits there looking at me forlornly.

"Come here," I say, patting the bed next to me, "You need a hug" and like a lost boy he comes to my arms and he groans with frustration as he lays his head on my shoulder.

"Ana, all I want is for you to get better and be out of pain and all I keep doing is failing you."

"Christian, stop! Every single day I am grateful for you and what you do for me, you haven't failed me once." I need him to understand this but I can see him withdrawing into himself. "Listen to me, you need to remember the saying "We can't control the wind, but we can direct the sail." You have done a wonderful job so far directing the sail, you can't control all these other people that don't have my best interests at heart, but you do. You have had my best interests at heart since before you knew anything was wrong."

He lifts his head and looks at me and then smiles ruefully, "Oh Ana, since the minute you fell into my office, I have needed you, I don't know that I had your best interests at heart then though, I wish I'd made you walk around the office with you and made you come to dinner with me and made you come home and do unmentionable things with me…" he says laughing now, "I don't think I could have made you do anything then, just like I can't make you do anything now. Gorgeous girl, what am I going to do to protect you?" And he turns and untangles himself from my arms and moves us so that he is holding me now and I snuggle in.

I don't really care, all I want to do is have him hold me and then my traitorous stomach rumbles.