Chapter 50: For the Love of a Princess


I couldn't breathe. Just when I thought that things were starting to change, and I could finally be free to focus on what needed to be done, this had to happen! Evander just stared at me long and hard, his gaze unrelenting and questioning. What did he want me to say? I didn't even know if I was happy to see him. His presence here would just complicate things even further. We continued to stare at each other, Amera sitting silently by with her piercing silver eyes scanning for any hint of danger.

Is this the man from your father's court? Amera asked me, a low growl escaping from deep within her chest. She had seen a few of my memories of him, but I'd done my best to push those deep down inside.

Yes, it's the man I was involved with in Urû'baen.

She sucked in a deep breath of air. What is he doing here now? she snapped, letting out a puff of smoke from her nostrils. Evander looked over at her, his face impassive.

I don't know, Amera... I don't know.

He looked back at me, his pale green aura pulsing slowly and evenly. "Say something, Tabatha," he finally breathed.

"I can't," I replied, choking on the words. "I don't know what to say."

"Are you not happy to see me?" I stared blankly, trying not to let my emotions betray me. I didn't know what I was feeling, let alone be able to describe it to him. He could sense my hesitation, and his face fell, a sadness coming into his eyes. My heart reached out for him, but I could say nothing.

"Evander... Things have changed, I don't... I just can't..." I couldn't form the words to try and explain it to him, so I just went silent.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" he finally said, anger clear in his voice. So he had seen them, there up on the wall…

"No," I replied. "No, Evander, it's because of her." I gestured at Amera, her neck straightening slightly. "It's because I became a Dragon Rider that everything changed. My priorities have shifted, and I no longer want the things I thought I did. I hope you can understand that."

"But even when this is done," he continued, shifting his piercing gaze up to my eyes, "you will go to him, won't you? After everything we've done and been through together, you will choose him over me. I gave up everything for you, Tabby. I escaped Urû'baen and your father, and I gave up my lands and title, so I could come here, not only to help the Varden, but for you too! Does that mean nothing?!" He was yelling in full force now, his harsh words echoing across the flat landscape.

"Of course it does not mean nothing," I said slowly. "I appreciate that you came here. But whatever you were looking for, Evander... I am sorry, truly I am, but I cannot give it to you. I thought that I loved you once, but now I know that I was using you in anger towards Murtagh, and I beg your forgiveness for that. I deceived you, and I am ashamed, but I won't deceive you any longer. I'm trying to make amends now, but I understand if you never forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me if I was in your position. I am sorry you came all this way to hear these words, but I can't lie to you anymore. I'm done lying, and I'm done hiding. I've got to kill my father, Evander, and I have to be free of distractions to do that. I'm sorry—"

"Enough," he cut me off, tightening his fists at his side. "I don't want to hear anymore. I thought you were different, Tabatha. But it's become abundantly clear that I was very wrong." His words stung, but I knew they were true. I had changed a tremendous amount since I'd left him last in the citadel at Urû'baen, and I now realized what a selfish little girl I had been. I wasn't the same person he'd fallen in love with, and I couldn't change what I felt. His face betrayed the depth of the hurt he was feeling, and I only continued to feel worse.

"I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing," I finally said before he could cut me off again. I didn't wait to hear his response; I just climbed up into Amera's saddle and let her catapult us off the ground. I was extremely grateful for that; I didn't know how much more I could take today. I had lost three people I cared about now, and I had a feeling I wasn't done destroying my life yet.

As the morning sun peeked over the horizon, Amera landed in a grove of trees just outside of the Varden's encampment. I jumped off her back and landed in the soft grass. The birds were just waking up and singing their daily songs as the first rays of daylight cut through the trees. If I didn't know what was going on out there in the world, I would have thought this was the most peaceful place. But I did know what was going on out there, and all I could think to do right now was cry. But I didn't. I had run away from my problems, for a short time, and I wasn't going to make it even worse by crying about them.

What are we going to do, Amera? I said desperately, plopping down in the grass.

We will do what we must, Tabby, she replied wisely, curling up behind me so that I could rest my back on her side. You did the right thing, though, by telling him the truth. In time, though he may not think it now, he will come to realize that you are really doing him a favor.

Am I though? I responded sardonically. Am I doing anyone a favor by alienating those that I care about? Or am I just hurting myself in the end?

The light-haired-two-leg was right when she said that it will be a long and lonely road to Urû'baen. But I think that it must be. The king will only use those that we love against us, and we can't let that happen. So we must distance ourselves, for their protection.

You are very wise beyond your years, Amera, I said, laying my head back against her scaly body. She grumbled a bit in the odd dragon-laugh that she had.

I am far older than you think, little one, she replied, nudging my shoulder slightly with her snout. My egg has been in existence far longer than my red brother and blue sister, and my consciousness has been there the whole time. I have seen much and more of this world than they have through the eyes of the sorceresses that cared for me inside my egg. And then there was that strange old man in the forest... His thoughts were quite odd, but I enjoyed the time that I was in his care. After all, he brought me to you, the one I have been waiting for my entire life. I placed a hand on her huge head and leaned into her.

I'm glad you waited for me, and I'm thankful to Asron as well. I am just happy that I have you with me to get through this, Amera. I don't think I could have done it alone. She hummed pleasantly, sending vibrations through my whole body, and nudged me again. We stayed like that for a long while, so long that I lost all track of time. The sun was mid-way through the sky before I stood up and stretched my arms over my head.

We'd best be getting back, Amera said, letting loose a ferocious yawn that bared her razor sharp teeth. They'll be wondering about us.

Yes, I suppose so, I agreed reluctantly. I wished with all my heart that we could just stay here in this peace and serenity, but that was just a ridiculous hope that I knew could never be. I climbed back up into Amera's saddle as she stretched out her massive wings, their scales and thin membranes glittering in the morning sunlight. Her powerful legs pushed off of the ground, and the mighty beat of her wings propelled us higher and higher into the air. The ground receded below us, until I could no longer make out any details of the trees or the grass, and we were enshrouded in the clouds. Everything is so beautiful up here, I mused softly, taking in the sight of the fluffy white clouds and the clear air above them. It was getting colder the further that Amera climbed, but I didn't really care.

It is a good place to come to clear one's head, Amera replied. Nothing to dull the senses or distract your thoughts.

We should get back to Eragon and Nasuada, I said reluctantly, not wishing to leave this place. She hummed slightly in response and angled her amethyst-colored wings downward, pitching us to the right and hurtling us back down to the ground. She folded her wings behind me and we picked up speed, the green earth rushing towards us at an alarming rate. I let out a joyous cry, relishing in the feeling of my adrenaline pumping. When it seemed it was the very last second, Amera flung her wings open, letting them catch the wind and slowing us to a halt. We landed on the ground with a resounding thump that sent shudders through the ground and caused several people of the Varden to glance over in our direction in alarm.

I could not help the uncontrollable laugh that came over me. I knew my life had never really been in danger, but the thrill of it... It was amazing! Thank you, Amera, I said, rubbing her snout lovingly. I needed that.

I know, young one, she replied, pushing her head into my stomach and nuzzling it gently.

I'm sure Murtagh will have seen us, but I bet Galbatorix knows about you already. There's no point in hiding it anymore, is there? She shook her massive head back and forth slowly.

No, I don't think there is. He would have found out about us on the battlefield anyways, she said. She was right, I knew, and I knew that Murtagh would never purposefully betray me. But it hurt all the same to know that Galbatorix will have found out about us from him. I could only hope that he did his best not to give too much away.


The night before...


Murtagh's POV

Tabatha disappeared over the wall into the darkness and I let out the breath I'd been holding in. It hurt to watch her leave, but we both knew it was for the best. Her words echoed in my head. 'We'll be together when this is done, Murtagh. I swear it.' Smiling sadly to myself, I went back over to where Thorn was lying across the wall. She didn't know what that was going to take, to break me of Galbatorix's hold, and I feared that if it came between the choice of destroying her father or saving me… It was going to break her, and there was not a damn thing I could do to stop it.

If anyone can find a way, it will be that girl, Thorn tried to comfort me. I sent him feelings of skepticism, and he replied by overwhelming me with a sense of hope. Do not give up hope, young one, he continued, nudging me hard in the shoulder. I looked over my shoulder at him into those huge orange-red eyes, the only ones I could really trust of those around me.

How can I not? When nothing has changed? We've tried, Thorn. And it only brought torture and pain. We are stuck. Galbatorix knows our true names and he will use them to enslave us until the day that we die. Eragon and the Varden's rebellion are doomed. They have seen you, Thorn, and Saphira, and even Tabby's dragon, but they have never seen the like of Shruikan… I let my angry thoughts fade off, feeling myself only growing more heated the more I thought about it. I did not like arguing with Thorn, but sometimes I thought he did not have a very realistic view of our situation.

My black brother is large, yes, but he is just as much a slave as you and I. If we could find a way to get him to revolt against the king—

No, I cut him off sharply. Anything we say to him the king will immediately know. I wish it was not so, but we are trapped, Thorn. We are trapped like mice between the cat's paws. The great red dragon let out a deep hum from within his chest, causing the stone wall beneath us to shudder slightly.

It is as the princess said, he continued in his deep, rumbling tones, we will find a way. Otherwise she will. I sent him a feeling of closure and he knew I was finished talking about this subject. It was painful enough to think about Tabatha, and all of the hurt we have caused one another, but the fact that her father was constantly in my head only made it worse. The king took a special kind of sick pleasure in watching me squirm when he tortured me with images of her. Sometimes, he'd force me into visions of him torturing her mercilessly, as I stood helplessly by, unable to move. Those were the worst times, and I could only bear it and not say a word. If I ever did try to protest, he would hurt Thorn, attacking him with his sick and twisted mind, and that I could not bear. I loved Tabatha, but Thorn was another part of my soul. We were linked; when he felt pain, so did I, and we had to do whatever it took to protect each other.

As I continued staring over the wall, I looked through Thorn's eyes and saw Tabatha standing there at the edge of the camp, her violet-scaled dragon standing nearby. And there was a man with them, coming from the north… That bastard! It was that slimy count that had tried to steal her away from me in Urû'baen. Thorn growled next to me as I withdrew from the sight and pounded a clenched fist angrily against the stone.

What in the hell is he doing here? I protested hotly.

I would assume he has come to win back the princess's affections, Thorn replied. I glared at him out of the corner of my eye.

You're not helping, I grumbled. He rolled his shoulders in a sort of dragon-shrug and ruffled his wings softly. I watched them for another minute before Tabatha mounted her dragon and they soared off towards a grove of trees on the outer edge of Leona Lake. Where could she be going?

Perhaps he was unsuccessful… Thorn interjected. I could only hope that he was right. I suddenly realized there was a mounting pressure at the base of my skull, and it slowly turned into a dull throbbing.

He's coming! I cried, scrambling to block any memories of Tabatha that I could. I knew it would not hold for long, but I had to try. And then a blazing pain erupted behind my eyes and I cried out. Thorn let out a groan as well, burying his scaled head into taloned paws. Stay strong, Thorn, I whispered before Galbatorix's mind appeared in full force.

Rider! he snapped forcefully, sending little shockwaves of pain all over my head. What have you to report?

Not much, Your Majesty. The rebels have not made any advance in several days, and our forces should be mustered to attack in two days.

Two days! he roared. I wanted those rebels obliterated a week ago. What's taking so long!

There has been a sickness amongst the men, I replied stoically, hoping this would be his only gripe. It's taken them some time to recuperate. Without our full force, I did not want to risk attacking the Varden in open combat.

That's what your dragon is for, boy! Burn them all to a crisp and be done with it, he growled threateningly.

Yes, Your Grace. It will be done. I remained silent, hoping he would simply leave, but the presence of his mind remained there, stabbing me with sharp pains. The longer he stayed there silently, the more my fear grew.

There's something you're hiding from me, he spat venomously, his tone like the sharp edge of a knife. I tried to prepare myself for the onslaught of pain that was to come, but I could not have prepared myself for the depth of his fury. He tore through my mind, battering at my protective walls until they crumbled and fell, releasing my memories to his waiting, greedy hands. I cried, for the pain and for the betrayal. Every memory of Tabatha I had locked away was laid out there for his prying eyes. He laughed with scorn when he saw the memory of me kissing her in the grove to get her to shut her stupid, beautiful mouth. He twisted my mind with pain when he saw me giving her the bracelet, the one my mother had taught me to make. And he took delight in my pain at the memory of seeing her with him, that stupid Count Evander. I sank to my knees upon the stone wall, burying my face into my hands and screaming, trying with all of my might to stop him. When he found the memory of the glimpse I'd caught of her purple dragon, he stopped dead in his tracks. The pain suddenly stopped and I knew that this was only the calm before the storm. Thorn was trying to lend me some of his strength, but I knew that Galbatorix was twisting his mind as well. We were caught.

She…has a…DRAGON! he roared, his fury unlike what I had ever seen. He began to stab my mind over and over again, relentless in his pursuit to cause me harm, the pain welling right behind my eyes until I could take it no longer. An inhuman scream ripped from my throat, piercing the night air. Thorn cried out right along with me, and I crawled over to him, the pain keeping me from staying on my feet.

"STOOOOOOOP!" I screamed aloud, reaching for Thorn's scaly paw. His mind filled mine with pain, and I wept for how helpless we both were. I held onto one of his gleaming, black talons and squeezed, gritting my teeth against the pain. The nails of my other hand dug into my palm, drawing blood that traced across my skin and dripped onto the stone floor, stark splashes of crimson against the gray. The attack lasted for another moment until it suddenly ceased. My eyes flew open as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks, my chest wracked with sobs. Thorn moaned long and mournfully. "I'm sorry," I wept, burying my face into his side. "I'm so sorry, Thorn. I'm so sorry."

You have seen nothing yet, Rider. You will pay for keeping this from me, and so will your dragon, Galbatorix's serpentine voice hissed in my head, deceptively calm. As soon as those rebels are defeated and they slink back to their caves with their tails between their legs, I want you back to the citadel. Is that understood?

Yes, master, I replied weakly, crying into the stone floor beneath me. He had caught us, and there was nothing I could have done to stop him. When his mind suddenly withdrew from mine and Thorn's, I felt an immense pressure being lifted off my chest. I let out a sigh and rubbed my face viciously with the back of my hand. He had gotten us.

I am sorry, young one, Thorn cried weakly, his voice strained after the ordeal. I tried to resist him, but…

Do not apologize, Thorn, I cut him off, not unkindly. I could not resist him any more than you could. I just wish Tabatha had never come here. Then, at least, she could have remained hidden, and safe. Now I cannot guarantee her safety.

We never could, Thorn replied morosely. I knew he was right, but part of me was still trying to protect her. But once she had become a Rider, there was no protecting her anymore. Galbatorix knew her secret, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.