Chapter Fifty

"Sam? Sam, where are you going? Sam, come on! Talk to me! What are you doing? Sam? Sam!"

Sam was vaguely aware of Julie following after him as he took off through the bunker, calling after him. He ignored her, though. He had bigger things to worry about than whether or not she was upset and wanted him to talk to her.

Finally, Sam got far enough away from the room where Dean was probably still playing videogames that he felt safe. He slipped into a storage room and Julie followed him in, just before he shut the door.

"What are you doing, Sam?" she snapped, looking around at the cluttered room. It was small, dimly-lit, and full of boxes and old, odd-looking materials that looked suspiciously like ingredients for spells. This must all be left over from the Men of Letters that once lived here. But she couldn't figure out why Sam would come here immediately after being told that his best friend had sold her soul.

He was angry, that much was clear. He wouldn't look at or speak to her, and he hadn't so much as acknowledged her presence after she had admitted what she had done. But Sam was clearly on a mission, and if he wouldn't tell her what it was, she would figure it out.

"Sam, what-?" she tried again, but he started talking over the top of her.

"Castiel, if you can hear this, and you're not doing something majorly important up in heaven, I need you," Sam said, and it took Julie a moment to realize he was praying. "I've got bad news. Like, life-changing bad news. And I'm going to need your help to try to find a solution. So if you could just come down and-"

There was the sound of fluttering wings, and then Castiel was standing with them in the cramped little storage room. With all three of them in there, it got a little crowded and uncomfortable, but Cas didn't even seem to notice.

"What is wrong?" he asked Sam, frowning, blue eyes worried. Julie noticed he was gripping his angel blade, ready for a fight. She didn't think he had even noticed her in there.

Sam took a deep breath. "You know how it was bothering us, how Dean was miraculously saved and the Mark and the Blade just disappeared?" he said coldly.

"Yes, that is…concerning," the angel admitted, still a little lost. "It would have taken a great power to make Dean human again and remove the Mark, more power than we have on our side. But what does that have to do with-?"

"I know how Dean got saved," Sam snapped.

"What? How?" Cas asked, half-concerned and half-eager to know.

"Sam, please-" Julie started, not wanting Cas to find out what she had done like this. Her friend cocked his head in confusion, just now noticing her.

"She did it," Sam interrupted Julie again, and his voice was cold and angry.

There was a moment of silence. "I don't understand…" Cas said slowly.

"Julie sold her soul to make Dean become human again, minus the Mark, and in return she got six months to live," Sam practically growled, and then the room was silent.

Julie held her breath, waiting to see how Castiel would react. She expected her friend to look sad, or maybe a little angry, or, worst of all, disappointed in her.

What she did not expect was for the angel to suddenly grab her shoulders and slam her forcefully into the wall.

"Are you insane?!" he cried angrily, and Julie was pretty sure she'd never been so frightened of the angel before her. "How could you do this?!"

"Cas, I…I did it to save him!" Julie got out through her fear and shock.

"To save him?!" Castiel repeated incredulously, and she had never seen such fury in his eyes, at least not unless it was directed at a Knight of Hell or Metatron. "Do you even realize what you've done? You didn't save him! You just bought him another six months before he is destroyed!"

"Cas…I didn't…I didn't mean to…" Julie stammered, hating herself for the tears that were welling up in her eyes. He was still tightly gripping her shoulders, too tightly, and she would have been scared of him, but her guilt was overwhelming every other emotion.

A large hand appeared on Castiel's shoulder. "Cas, let her go," Sam said quietly.

"But, Sam, don't you see what she's done?!" the angel cried angrily. "Don't you understand what this will do to him?"

"Yes, probably better than even you do," Sam said flatly. "But I'm not going to pretend that I probably wouldn't have done the same thing if she hadn't beaten me to it. And you shouldn't pretend that you wouldn't have done it, too, if you had a soul to sell."

Cas hesitated for a moment, and then he released Julie and stepped away from her. He looked down, ashamed. "I...I apologize, Julie," he said slowly, in a shell-shocked voice. "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have reacted that way."

Julie wiped a couple tears off of her face. "Don't worry about it," she muttered. "I probably would have done the same thing, if the tables were turned."

There was a long silence. "Sam, I…I am grateful that you told me what was going on, but…I don't see how I can help," Castiel admitted after a while. "I am an angel. I know about a lot of things, but I know very little about demon deals and how to find a way out of one."

"I know," Sam said. "That's not why I called you here. I wanted you to know, obviously, and I'm going to want whatever help you can give us. But first, I need you to do something for me."

"What?" Cas frowned.

"I need you to put Dean to sleep."

Julie and Cas both stared at him. "What?!" the angel snapped after a moment. "How would that help anything?"

"Dean doesn't know," Sam said flatly. "And unless there is no other choice, I don't want him to know. This news would destroy him, and we're going to do everything we can to try and find a way to save Julie before we tell him. But I'm going to be getting some more help to come here, and I need to make sure he doesn't find out what's going on. So I need you to put him to sleep."

"He won't be happy about you going behind his back," Cas said darkly.

"And he doesn't have to know," Sam replied. "You can be invisible, right? So just go into the living room, where Dean is, and just put him to sleep. Give him a good dream or something—just make sure he doesn't wake up until we're done."

"Done with what?" Julie asked quietly. "Sam, what are you going to do? Who are you going to get help from?"

The hunter smirked slightly, but there was no humor in his eyes. "I never thought I'd be saying this, but we need his help."

"Who?" Cas and Julie both frowned.

"The only thing in existence that knows the most about a demon deal," Sam sighed. "The king of the crossroads."


Castiel watched Dean sadly. The man was completely sucked into the game on the screen in front of him, his eyes flying around the screen as he searched for a new opponent to attack. Cas probably didn't even need to be invisible. Dean was so sucked into the game in front of him, he probably wouldn't even notice his friend standing there, watching.

Suddenly, a new enemy appeared on the screen, firing at Dean's character. His fingers flew across the controller as he caused his character to duck and roll behind a wall. A moment later, when the enemy had to reload, he jumped out from behind the wall and shot his opponent through the heart.

Dean smiled to himself as he moved on to the next level. Cas couldn't resist a sad smile at seeing the strange happiness this game brought his friend. But the angel knew that if Dean knew what his girlfriend had done for him, he wouldn't be smiling. In fact, he probably would never smile again.

That decided it. Dean couldn't know. As much as he hated going behind his friend's back, Cas knew that things would be so much worse if he knew.

So he stepped forward to stand next to the couch his best friend was sitting on, reached out, and gently pressed two fingers to Dean's forehead.

Suddenly, the man's eyes rolled back into his head, and he slumped forward. Cas easily caught him and laid his unconscious best friend across the couch. He stayed there a couple minutes, watching Dean sleep, until whatever was going on his dream caused him to smile slightly. Satisfied that Dean was okay, Cas returned to the main hall of the bunker, where Sam was performing the summoning spell that would bring him here.

Julie was standing back, watching nervously as Sam finished up the spell. Castiel noticed the way she was holding her belly and frowned. But before he could ask her what was wrong (besides the obvious fact of her soul being doomed to hell), a familiar, grumpy voice started yelling at them.

"Really, Moose? You could not have picked a worse time! I was about to get a completely hammered, gorgeous, European model to come home with me!"

"You know, I really don't care," Sam snapped standing up. "And you shouldn't be complaining, considering the fact that, after what you did to my brother, I've got every right to kill you.

Crowley rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I didn't do anything to your brother. He was the one who took up the Blade again to get revenge for her"—he nodded towards Julie, who flinched—"and then decided to let himself die and become a demon. None of that was my fault! I just guided him along the way when he needed it."

As much as Sam wanted to drive the demon-killing knife into this smug little demon's heart again and again, he knew that he was going to need his help. So he took a deep breath and said, "Whatever. That really doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we've got a big problem, and we need your help with it."

"What makes you think I would help you?" the former king of hell asked coldly.

"Because if you don't, we'll kill you?" Sam suggested helpfully.

"Right, because threatening me is really going to help you get whatever it is you want."

"What I really want is to make you suffer for taking Dean away from us."

"Oh, you want to be able to blame it all on me, but you know it was all big brother's choice. Everything he did to make him that demon, he chose himself."

"Except when you forced him to take up the First Blade again," Sam pointed out coldly.

"Perhaps you're forgetting that you helped me do that!"

"Stop it!" Julie yelled suddenly, and the two of them stopped arguing. The hunter, angel, and demon all turned to stare at her. "None of this matters," she said quietly. "All that matters right now is that we need your help, Crowley."

"With what, darling?" he asked smoothly.

"With finding a way to save me," she admitted. "We need to find a way to get out of my deal with Beelzebub."

Crowley began to chuckle. "So it was you who sold your soul to get Dean back all shiny and new," he smirked. "When I heard the news that Dean was human again, and Mark-free, I just assumed Moose had returned the favor for when big brother sold his soul all those years ago for him. You remember that, don't you, Sam? Dean sold his soul to bring you back to life, and in return he was tortured in hell for forty years. All because of you."

"You bastard-" Sam growled, and he lunged at Crowley, about to throttle him, Castiel half a step behind him.

"Stop it!" Julie screamed, and once again, the three of them stopped fighting to turn to stare at her. She looked near tears. "I never thought I would be saying this, but that stuff doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is that we find a way out of my deal. Because if we don't, and I go to hell…Dean's going to lose it. He'll never be okay again, and I can't let that happen."

Sam and Cas sighed, all the fight going out of them. "Can you help us find a way to save her?" the angel asked the demon in front of him.

"If it were a normal deal with a normal demon, I may have been able to bargain a way out of it," Crowley admitted. "But you made a deal with the king of the Knights of Hell, sweetheart. There's no way I could outsmart or overpower him. Especially now that he's got the Mark of Cain and the First Blade."

"What?" Sam, Julie, and Cas all cried.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Crowley smirked bitterly. "Yes, when you made Beelzebub promise to remove the Mark of Cain from your precious boyfriend, you should have known that he would take it for himself. It can only be given to true killers like Beelzebub, or precious Dean, and the king of hell took it for himself. He's now as invincible as your Dean used to be."

Cas, Sam, and Julie exchanged worried looks. "So there's…there's no way to kill him?" Julie asked nervously.

"No known way," Crowley shrugged. "There may have been other weapons besides the First Blade that could kill a Knight, but they have all been lost over the years."

Sam sighed in defeat. "So there's no way to kill Beelzebub or save Julie?"

"Not that I know of," the demon admitted. "But I can start searching for one."

"Why would you do that?" Julie asked uncertainly.

"Because I'm going to need you four, and Dean especially," Crowley said, as if they were stupid. "I need those Knights gone as much as you, and with the right weapon, I believe you might stand a chance at stopping them. But if Juliet here is dead, Dean won't see any point in even trying to fight, and you two won't be much help either."

Sam and Cas hated to admit it, but it was probably true. "Fine," Sam sighed. "Then you and Cas can start searching for a way to save Julie and stop Beelzebub, and we'll do the same."

"And what will you do about Dean?" Cas asked, concerned.

Sam turned to Julie. "She was the one who sold her soul. I'll let her decide."

There was nothing hard or angry in Sam's voice, but she still flinched. She didn't want to be the one to have to tell Dean what she had done.

"Well, if my services are no longer needed…" Crowley said, clearly about to leave.

"No, wait!" Julie cried as something occurred to her.

"What is it?" the demon sighed dramatically.

"What if…what if I'm pregnant?" she got out after a moment. "I only sold my soul, right? So he shouldn't be able to take me to hell if I've got another soul living inside me."

"Nice try," Crowley sighed. "But people have tried that before. There's no way out of a deal, Juliet. I'm sorry. Maybe you can find one, but I really doubt it. People have been trying to find a way out as long as there have been demons, and no one has."

"Are…are you really pregnant?" Castiel asked Julie in a shocked voice.

She looked down. "I don't know. It's possible."

"May I…?" he started to ask. Julie nodded, and the angel carefully approached her and laid a hand on her stomach. He closed his eyes and for a long moment the entire room was silent as they all held their breath, waiting for an answer.

Then Cas opened his eyes and shook his head. "No. You're not pregnant."

"Really?" Julie cried. The angel nodded, and she laughed in relief. "Oh, god, thank you, Cas!" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

Cas frowned, confused. "But…wouldn't you want to be pregnant? Over the centuries, I've observed many women who are happy to be mothers. And…you love Dean. Wouldn't having his child make you happy?"

"Yes, it would. If I wasn't going to die before I could ever give birth, and he would have to lose both me and his child," Julie said coldly, releasing him.

Castiel nodded, studying Julie sadly. "Well, if that's all…" Crowley said. When no one moved to stop him, he disappeared.

"Do you think he will really help?" Castiel asked Sam uncertainly.

"Yes," Julie answered for him. "Because he needs our help still. And I think there's a part of him, deep down, that doesn't really want to see me dead and Dean heartbroken."

"He's a demon, Julie," Sam pointed out. "He probably doesn't care whether we live or die."

"But we're also the only people he has left," she countered, and neither Sam nor Cas could come up with a response to that.

"I should go wake Dean," Castiel said after a pause.

"Wait," Julie said. "Could you just…let him sleep for a while? You said you would give him a good dream, right?"

Castiel nodded.

"Then…let him sleep. Let him be happy." She hated herself for the lump that was swelling in her throat.

The angel studied her sadly, and then said, "Then I shall return to heaven and begin my search for a way to save you, Julie."

"Thank you, Cas," Julie whispered, pulling the angel into a hug. He hugged her briefly back, and then disappeared, off to heaven.

Sam and Julie were left standing alone. "Sam, I…" Julie started. "I'm sorry-"

Before she could finish, Sam suddenly hugged her tightly. "We're going to find a way to fix this," he said in a barely-steady voice. "We're going to find a way to save you, Julie."

She nodded and then buried her face in his shirt, trying not to cry. Because, although none of them wanted to admit it, there was almost no chance of them finding a way to save Julie. She had help, now, but it was still almost certain that in a little over five months, she would be dead.


Dean woke up on the couch of the bunker. There was a line on his cheek where it had been pressed against a crease in the couch, and his left arm was asleep from him lying on it. He rubbed at his eyes and looked around blearily, trying to figure out what time it was. He didn't remember falling asleep.

A small stack of ancient books of lore and Sam's laptop lay on the floor next to the couch, along with an empty bottle of some pretty strong liquor and an empty glass. Those were the telltale signs of a night spent researching for a case—books and the computer to do the research, and booze to keep him going late into the night. There was a quilt thrown over him, though, so Julie must have found him passed out on the couch and taken care of him. Dean smiled at the thought.

Finally, he spotted a clock. It read a little after eight, and Dean frowned. Sam and Julie should both be up by this time, and he wondered where they were as he sat up and swung his legs off the side of the couch.

Before he could get to his feet and go in search of them, though, Julie walked into the room. Her hair wasn't down, like usual, but twisted into a loose bun. She was wearing a comfortable brown sweater and jeans, and she looked a little tired. Still, she was the most beautiful thing in the world to him.

Dean smiled at her when he saw her, and even though she looked exhausted, she smiled back. She walked over to him, and he made room for on the couch. She settled into his side, their legs and sides pressing together. Dean brushed his lips across her forehead and muttered, "Hey."

"Hey," she smiled back, running a hand through his bedhead. Then she rested her head on his chest. Her hand moved to his back and she began to rub soothing circles on his back. Dean sighed happily.

They didn't speak after that. They didn't need to. Julie nuzzled a little closer to Dean, and he pulled her into him, wrapping her in his arms and breathing in the sweet, coconut smell of her hair. "I love you," he murmured into her hair, but if she heard it, she didn't reply. She just kissed the hollow at the base of his throat and sighed.

Suddenly, a door banged open and Sam walked into the room. "God, Dean, your kid's a piece of work," Dean's little brother sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. Sam looked a little different, too. Good, though. He was his same six-four, buff, gigantic, goofy Sammy with that ridiculous, floppy, long hair, but he looked happier somehow. Healthier. Dean had no idea what Sam was talking about, or why he looked so good, and then she walked into the room, and it all made sense.

Jessica Moore. The girl who had died over ten years ago while Sam and Dean were off searching for Dad. Sam's lost love. But she wasn't lost now. The same beautiful, sweet girl Dean had met for a brief time followed Sam into the room. She looked much older now, but she was still beautiful, and her blond hair was clipped back, out of her face. She smiled sweetly down at the small bundle in her arms. "Oh, be nice, Sam," she scolded him. "Not everyone can be as perfect as Marie."

"Ouch!" Julie laughed. "I would just like to say that BJ is one-hundred percent Dean's kid. I'm sure if we had a daughter, she would be as sweet and perfect as Marie."

"Wait," Dean said, head spinning like it had been even since Jessica entered the room. "You two…you have a kid?"

"Wow," Sam said. "Rough night last night, Dean? You'd have to be pretty hungover to forget you were an uncle."

As his little brother spoke, Dean noticed the silver ring on his left hand. And sure enough, when he looked at Jess, there was a silver ring on her hand as well. They were married, and they had a kid.

By now, Dean had realized he was dreaming. Jessica Moore was dead. He knew that. But this was one of his dearest fantasies, getting to see Sam and the girl he loved living out their happy ending together. So he couldn't help but go along.

"Can I see her?" Dean whispered reverently.

Jess smiled that angelic smile and then lowered the little girl into Dean's arms. Sam put an arm around his wife's waist and the two of them stepped back to give Dean some space with their little daughter.

"How old is she?" Dean asked softly, staring in wonder at the perfect little baby in his arms.

Julie reached down and brushed a wispy blond curl out of the babe's big, puppy dog eyes. Sammy's eyes through and though. "Four months," Julie told him quietly.

Dean was captivated by the perfect little child he was holding. She was the cutest baby he had ever seen. She had big eyes that could melt the heart of the most hardened criminal, and she had Sam's little nose and Jessica's blond curls. When little baby Marie locked her eyes on Dean, she opened her mouth wide in a huge grin, gurgling happily in recognition. Dean's eyes stung.

"She…she's perfect," he whispered, his throat tight with emotion.

Julie brushed a kiss on Dean's cheek. "Isn't she? And she loves her Uncle Dean."

His little niece stretched out her chubby hand, reaching for Dean. He held out a finger and her tiny fingers wrapped around it. She gurgled again, and his heart melted. If he never did anything but stare at this baby, his brother's child with the love of Sam's life, he would be content.

He noticed then that he too had a silver ring on his left hand. And a moment later, when Julie reached out her hand to tickle the baby and make her shriek with laughter, he saw a ring on her hand as well. So they were married. That thought made his heart practically burst with happiness.

Julie put an arm around Dean's waist and leaned her face next to Dean's to make faces at the baby. Marie giggled, and then shrieked with laughter. Dean was dazed with happiness. This couldn't be real, but he didn't care. He never wanted it to end. Julie's hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and rubbed circles on his hip, spreading warmth through him. Please, let this moment never end.

After a while, Marie seemed to get confused. Her cute little face scrunched up, and she made a dissatisfied noise. "Here we go," Julie sighed. Before Dean could ask what was going on, Marie opened her mouth wide and began to wail.

Dean stared in shock. It had been years since he had taken care of a baby, over thirty since he'd had to raise Sammy, and he couldn't figure out why the baby was crying.

"That's my cue," Jess sighed, reaching out and taking Marie from Dean. "Sweetie's hungry."

Dean watched her take Marie into another room to feed her, half-wishing she would bring the baby back. His perfect little niece.

"Uh-oh," Sam smirked from where he stood next to the couch. "Here comes trouble."

Suddenly, a little guy of two or three came toddling into the room, grinning wickedly. Julie's eyes lit up at the sight of the child. "Mawie was crying," the kid announced proudly.

"We heard," Sam said drily.

"I know, sweetie," Julie said in a kinder voice. "Thanks for letting us know, though."

The kid reached the couch and pulled himself up. It took quite a bit of effort, but Julie let him do it himself, knowing he'd want to be independent. Dean watched the little guy clamber up onto the couch and settle into Julie's lap, wide-eyed.

That kid…now that he was closer, Dean could see it. The kid was absolutely adorable, with Julie's nose and soft, floppy hair just a couple shades lighter than Dean's. He had Julie's pale skin and the same freckles Dean had at that age, and a carbon copy of Dean's green eyes.

He knew. He wasn't quite sure how, but he knew. That was his son.

"Daddy, I found one of your magazines," his son announced proudly. "It was almost all pictures, so I could read it."

"Bobby-John Winchester!" Julie scolded him. "How many times do I have to tell you—do not touch your father's stuff!" It didn't take a genius to guess what magazine their kid had unearthed, probably an old copy of Busty Asian Beauties Dean had been unable to part with just yet. Dean couldn't resist a smile at the kid's name. What else would he name his son but after the two fathers he had lost?

"Sorry, Mommy," Dean's son said sweetly, giving his mother an angelic smile. But Dean caught that devilish spark in his eyes and knew his son wasn't the tiniest bit sorry.

Oh, god. What kind of monster had he brought into the world when he decided to go and have a son?

"Dean's kid through and through," Sam laughed, tousling the kid's hair.

"Uncle Sam's going to teach me how to shoot today," the youngest Winchester announced proudly, grabbing onto his uncle's large hand and gripping one of his fingers tightly, laughing.

"He's going to what?!" Julie snapped, shooting Sam a look.

Sam shrugged helplessly. "That's what he keeps telling me I'm going to do. I never agreed to anything."

"BJ, you're still a little young to be shooting things," Julie said carefully. "In fact, I'm not sure you're ever going to be shooting things."

"But you and Daddy and Uncle Sam shoot things all the time!" BJ whined. Suddenly, his mood changed, and he grinned. "Someday, I'm going to be a hunter, just like you guys!"

"No," Dean said suddenly, surprising himself. BJ turned and gave him a pitiful look. And all of the sudden, he felt himself slipping into the role of protective father all too easily. "Look, BJ…your mother and I love you a lot. Which is why we don't ever want you to end up doing this for a living. We want you to have a life, son."

"But I want to be a hunter," BJ pouted, crossing his arms.

"Well, that's an argument for the future," Julie said quickly. "For now, why don't I make us some breakfast?"

BJ forgot all about his dreams of hunting and nodded eagerly. Julie went off into the kitchen to make some food, and Sam settled down on the couch. BJ crawled into Dean's lap and began to babble about what he and Marie had been up to before "Uncle Sam" and "Auntie Jess" found them.

"…And after I got her out of the crib-"

"Still not sure how he managed that," Sam interjected.

"I carried Mawie into the library," BJ explained. "I found that book about vampires, and I showed her all the pictures and I told her about dead man's blood, just like you taught me, but then she started crying and Uncle Sam and Auntie Jess made me quit teaching Mawie."

"Well, to be fair, BJ, I'm not sure how much she was really learning," Dean pointed out, smirking at his kid.

"She fell asleep," BJ admitted. Then he added in a loud whisper, "I don't think she's going to be a very good hunter."

Dean laughed and tousled his kid's hair. "But I'm going to be just like you and Uncle Sam!" his son announced proudly. "I'm going to be an awesome hunter! Uncle Cas even said I would."

"He did?" Sam frowned.

Dean shot a look towards the ceiling and muttered, "Traitor," hoping his best friend was listening in.

"BJ, honey, breakfast is ready!" Julie called from the kitchen, and Dean's son scrambled up, all thoughts of hunting forgotten at the prospect of food. Damn, if that kid wasn't a three-year-old version of him.

Halfway to the kitchen, BJ stumbled and fell. Dean panicked and started to get up to rush to his son's aid, but the kid was up in the next second and running again, not even fazed. Dean shook his head in awe as BJ disappeared.

Sam shook his head and laughed. "Your kid is something else," he sighed.

"No kidding," Dean muttered.

"Did you ever think it would be like this?" Sam asked his older brother honestly. "Us, settled down with wives and kids?"

"No," Dean admitted. "But we're not really settled down. We still hunt."

"Well, I don't think we could ever give that up," Sam admitted. Then he smiled at Dean. "But it's nice, though. I like it."

"Yeah," Dean admitted after a moment. "Me too."

And then all of the sudden he was waking up on the couch again. But this time, the room was dark, and there was no booze or books by the couch, just an X-box controller. He didn't remember falling asleep, but there was a quilt thrown over him, and the TV had been switched off.

As Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily, he noticed her. She had fallen asleep curled up in the chair next to him, and from her position, it looked like Julie had been watching Dean sleep.

Dean studied her. Her hair was down instead of in that loose bun, and she was wearing a black t-shirt instead of a brown sweater. Still, she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

He had tried not to think about it. All his life, he had tried not to think about falling in love or having a family, because that option had never been available to him. But now, he was in love. He had been for a long time, and he knew she was the one. Even if he hadn't known that, his dream had shown him that much.

That had been one of the greatest dreams he'd ever had. And many parts of it could never happen. Jess and Sam would never get to be happy together, and they would never get to have that beautiful little daughter. But that didn't mean that he and Julie couldn't have a family…

Of course, they would have to take care of the Knights. But once that threat was gone, nothing would be in the way of them finally getting to be happy. And Dean knew he wanted that. Ever since he had become human again, he had realized how much he cared about Sam and Julie. He had realized how much he loved being human, even with all the pain and guilt and crap that went with it. He had realized how much he wanted a normal, human life.

So as he sat there, watching Julie sleep, he began to wonder…


The next day, Julie sat in the library, hunched over a book of lore. Last night, after Dean had woken her up and the two of them had gone to sleep in their actual bed, Sam had gotten to work. He had found a monster-sized stack of ancient books of lore that may have some helpful hint on how to save Julie, and whenever Dean was around, Julie and Sam would pore over them.

She had been reading for over an hour, and her brain was hurting. This was all in middle English and near impossible to understand at times, but she was trying her best. But she desperately needed a break, so when Dean came into the room, he provided a much-needed distraction.

Dean knocked on the doorway and asked carefully, "Are you super busy?"

Julie closed the book and shook her head. "No. What's up?"

"Uh…there's, um…there's something I want to talk to you about," Dean said carefully.

Julie shrugged. "Okay. Shoot."

"Well, um…would you mind doing it in the garage?"

Julie frowned, confused, but ended up following him into the bunker's garage, anyway. She had no idea where this was going, and was a little concerned by Dean's odd behavior.

Dean walked over to the Impala and settled down on the hood. Julie cautiously walked over to his beloved car and sat down next to him, still confused and a little wary. Dean took a deep breath, and then began to speak.

"Okay, so I've got a lot of stuff I want to say to you, and I just want to say it all in one go, so if you could hold all comments and questions until the end." Julie raised her eyebrows and smirked, but nodded. Dean took another deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Right. Okay. Here goes.

"Julie. I love you," he started, looking her straight in the eyes.

She smiled a little. "I love you-" she started to say, but he cut her off.

"What did I say about questions and comments?"

She sighed and fell silent again. "Okay. So, yeah. I love you. A lot." Julie smiled at Dean, but she was still uncertain where this was going. He looked down and cleared his throat nervously. "I just want to let you know…you mean a lot to me, and I…well, I love you. And I know I keep saying that but…that's a big deal. I don't really love women, at least not besides you."

Julie studied Dean, confused. She had absolutely no idea where this was going, and that was making her nervous.

"I guess I just…" Dean sighed and shifted nervously on the hood of the Impala. "You mean a lot to me. You're the only woman I've ever cared about this much, and the only woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with."

Julie wanted to smile, because that, coming from Dean Winchester, was a huge statement. But the rest of her life was a little more than five months, and he was envisioning growing old together.

"And speaking of the rest of my life…" Dean laughed nervously, fingers twisting and pulling at the charmed bracelets and amulets he wore on his wrist. Suddenly he laughed even harder and said, "Damn, am I bad at expressing my feelings!"

Julie wasn't allowed to speak, so she reached out and touched the side of his face, giving him a look that said she didn't care. He closed his eyes and caught her hand, holding it to his cheek like he never wanted it to leave the side of his face. Julie suddenly felt so damn emotional. He loved her so much, and she was going to have to leave him so soon…

"Okay," Dean finally got out, opening his eyes and releasing her hand. "Okay, I'm just going to get this out. Okay." He stood up and began to pace nervously in front of her. Julie stood up as well and watched as he finally got his thoughts in order and took a deep breath. "Okay.

"So, my whole life, I've always kind of known that someday I would want to find a beautiful girl and fall in love and have a family," Dean admitted. "But I've always known that was never possible. Except now…now I've got the beautiful girl I love, and I know there's still the Knights out there to beat, but after that…well, being a demon taught me something. It taught me what really matters to me, and it's you and Sam and Cas. I already knew that, but…you guys are all that matters. I want to spend the rest of my life with you guys. With you."

Julie's heart was sinking, and the lump in her throat was swelling. Because she thought she finally had figured out where he was going with this, and he couldn't. Not now. Please, god, not now!

Dean took one last deep breath and then looked Julie in the eye. "I want to have a family, Jules. With you. I want to have a normal, happy life with you. I don't exactly have a ring, but I guess what I'm trying to say is…is that I want to marry you. And I know it'll be hard, and there's a lot that we still have to do, but…when all that crap is over…I want to marry you, and have kids with you and…and…what's wrong? Jules, honey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Honey. It was that word that finally broke the dam. During that whole speech, tears had been welling up in her eyes, but when Dean called her honey with such concern in his voice, she finally lost it, and tears began to pour down her cheeks. She tried to hide her face from him, but he turned her to look at him. "Jules…" Dean asked, eyes wide and concerned. "What's wrong?" he repeated gently.

"No," she choked out.

He frowned. "What?"

"No, I can't…I can't marry you. I can't marry you and have kids with you and have a life with you." Dean stared at her, shocked, and then hurt. His hands left her and he stepped back, stunned and hurt. "I want to!" Julie cried, and she was half-sobbing now. "I want to more than anything, but…I can't."

Dean frowned. "Why not? Julie, why can't we just be happy when all this is over? We deserve that much!"

"Because it's never going to be over, Dean!" she cried suddenly, her voice breaking. "Because I'm never going to get to that 'after all the crap is over' part."

"What?" Dean said, and his voice was surprisingly hard and cold. "What are you talking about?"

"I…I can't marry you and have a family and a life with you," she got out through her tears. "Because…because…in a little more than five months, I'm going to die and go to hell."

There was a long silence. "No," Dean said suddenly in a cold, flat voice. "You didn't."

"It…it was to make you human again…I'm so sorry…"

Julie could barely see through her tears, but she saw him turn away. She saw Dean start to storm off, and she called after him, "Wait! Dean, wait! Please, I…Dean…"

But he was already gone. Julie began to sob, gross sobs that shook her whole body, and she collapsed to her knees, full-out sobbing like she hadn't since that awful time when Dean was dead.

Oh, god, what had she done to him?! He had just practically proposed, asking her to marry him and have a family and a life with him. And in five months, she was going to hell.

Dean stormed out of the room, trying to leave his emotions behind. Maybe if he just stayed angry, maybe if he just didn't think about it, maybe if he could just outrun them…

He stormed past the room where Sam sat, immersed in a book of lore. He stormed past the room that he had gone into just a few minutes ago, hoping to basically propose to the woman he loved and end up marrying her and having a family with her someday. He stormed into the bedroom that he shared with her and locked and slammed the door.

And then finally, with the door closed and locked behind him, he finally broke down and began to cry.


Author's Note: Alright, please don't kill me for what I've done to Dean/Julie/Sam/well, everyone. There was a lot of drama and sadness in this chapter, but I promise it won't be ALL downers from here. However, I am not promising all happiness and sunshine, either. This IS Supernatural, after all. Anyway, please leave a review to let me know what you thought and please keep reading and reviewing! Thanks for all of your support in helping me make it to CHAPTER FIFTY!