(Holding On and Letting Go by Ross Copperman)
She sat there like she was infiltrating behind enemy lines… His eyes were as sharp as needles as Dimitri watched Veronica from where he played chess with Yuri. A tiny muscle flexed in his jaw, he wasn't entire sure of Jake's motivation to hand over those surveillance reports to the teenage sleuth. Perhaps he just wanted her to see the truth of her lover's lies. Murdering pretty teenage girls was something even he found distasteful. They were taking shelter from this storm until morning and then it wouldn't be long until arrangements were made to dispatch with the Echoll's boy. The rain and waves beating along the shore were like the symphony of the seas, unlike most, he found the thunder rather soothing. His dark eyes locked with that intelligent blue gaze, there was more to this petite blonde than one could discern at first glance. He'd seen it when she'd stood feet planted and aimed that flare gun at him when they had been on the boat.
"She's trouble" Yuri grumbled in Russian as he predictably moved his bishop to F4.
"Women always are" Dimitri sneered as he made his counter move as his opponent studied the board again like he was dissecting a frog, not that it did much good. Yuri wasn't much of a challenge. Veronica could feel the beat of her heart thundering through her chest as she picked up the folded note; she'd almost been killed trying to find this piece of paper before.
Did she really want to read it? Could she really afford to get distracted by it? Especially when the Russian Goon Squad were still skating over her body, measuring her up, bone by none, tendon by tendon. Assessing how much of a problem she would be.
Or mentally calculating how long it would take to throw her body in a woodchipper… She closed her eyes and swore silently. She had to snap out of it. That kind of panic wasn't helping. Next time she went up sleuthing the Mafia in a thunderstorm, she would have to remember her trenchcoat and fedora. Tucking a wayward strand of her blond hair behind her ear, she unravelled the small piece of paper and began to read it. The familiar writing was unmistakably Logan's.
Dear Lilly,
I've tried to talk to you about this mess between us but every time we get into the same breathing space it seems all we do is fight or end up in bed together. Quite often both. So maybe by writing it down, like one of those letters you've been denying someone's been sending you lately, I can finally get it out.
I love you.
The writing began to blur as her eyes watered and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. She continued reading the paper in her hands. She remembered those turbulent final few weeks before Logan had stormed off to Tijuana with Dick and Cassidy, he hadn't really been speaking to her but she knew from Lilly that there had been high drama between the teenage paramours. Their tempers had always been explosive.. Fuse, meet Match. Reading Logan's side of things was a lot harder than she'd thought it would be but it's like the words had their own gravitational pull, urging her onwards.
You're my Home, Lilly. We were always supposed to be more. Something special. But I know that I care about your feelings more than mine, so I'm done. I don't want to be the reason you are unhappy. I know that's why you have been avoiding me. I won't fight to keep you, if it means that I'm going to push you away. You need something that you can only get from someone else. As much as I would want you to choose me... I don't want us to get to the point where we wish that we had never laid eyes on each other.
So it's over. I know that now. I am here if you ever need anything.
I'd rather have you in my life as my friend because you are too important to me to lose completely.
Forever yours,
Logan.
Yet he had lost her. Veronica thought back to the day on the beach, the haunted look in his eyes as he'd stared out along the water.
"You know if you read that letter… you'd know I'd never hurt her" he'd told her. He'd been telling the truth. For Logan, giving his entire heart to someone was as simple as breathing; he never had any kind of uncertainty over what he felt for her. Reading the letter had been a sucker punch to the gut. He'd loved Lilly with everything, and she'd betrayed him. It made her furious to think of her ill-fated friends treatment of Logan that day. The unfairness of it all stung like it had been ripped from her own soul. She glanced over the words again, folded it and slipped it discreetly into her pocket. She wanted Lilly back so she could yell at her for what she'd done. For hurting him, for getting herself killed. She squashed the urge to launch herself at Jake Kane and demand how he could have read this letter and thought that Logan had anything to do with Lilly's murder. His face was icily blank as Jake stared into the ice at the bottom of his glass.
Some people never should have been parents… Lilly's had walked in and out of her life like she was some kind of train station… She'd told Veronica once that she'd felt like she didn't exist to anyone… no wonder she'd gone searching for something… even if that attention had been as dangerous as Aaron Echolls… but none of them could do anything over again.
She moved several of the papers in the folder out of the way and perused through the photographs, several of them were of Logan down by the beach, some were taken from a parking garage rooftop she knew well overlooking the Neptune Grand hotel as he stood on the balcony, probably captured using a telescopic lens. She'd used a similar method when getting evidence of infidelity cases for her dad. Her arms ached to reach through the pictures and hold him, but the one that killed her the most was a snap shot of Logan with a pained expression taken a few days ago as he looked through the window of Java The Hut, she could sort of make out the outline of herself rearranging the cake stand. Regret was sneaking into every crevice of her being. He'd been as heartbroken as she was… he just had one hell of a poker face. She'd been denying her feelings for him, putting them both through Hell… and it had only ended up hurting them both. She snuck a cautionary look back towards the two men playing, Yuri's brows puckering as his boss declared checkmate yet again. Her teeth gnawed at her bottom lip as a shudder rolled across her when one brow quirked up as Dimitris eyes connected with hers again. Acrobats had made a home in her stomach and she tucked her legs tighter up to her chest as she pulled the blanket around herself. He'd followed her every move even if his men had now grown a little relaxed. Some primitive part of her brain was screaming Danger, Danger, Run!
Veronica averted her gaze, as she felt his eyes narrow, and his mouth drawing into a thin line. It didn't take a genius to know when she was being sized up by a predator. He was built like a raging Neanderthal, and his seemingly cool indifference was betrayed by that suspicious furrow between his brows as he sat back in his chair and said something Russian in his low, deep voice to Sergei who moved from his post and started about making use of the large logwood fireplace adjacent to them.
"Take her to get cleaned up" Dimitri ordered Boris as he pointed towards the clothes which Veronica had been brought earlier which still sat untouched in a neat pile. If they had to have an unexpected detained guest, the last thing he wanted was the girl to be getting ill. Sickness required medical attention, and that usually attracted unwanted attention.
Stiffening Veronica stood back from his reach as the tall man reached out for her. "Piz-dets" She heard the Yuri curse.
"Escort her to the bedroom with the en-suite bathroom. I do not think I need I need to tell you to keep your hands to yourself. Veronica knows it is in her best interests to behave" Dimitri ground out, but the warning was clear. There was no point in trying to run… there was no way off this island and any attempts to do so would be an open invitation for her captors to withdraw their pretence at civility. She held his gaze, her blue eyes probably looked like drops of ice as she scooped up the clothes in her hand as she was ushered out of the room by the younger man.
Be a good little mouse Veronica… the cats got to sleep sometime…
Until then, she'd use this as an opportunity to get the layout of the house.
